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Shrinkin' Violets- Part 2 Read Here



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Hi Everyone!

Sorry I have been MIA for a long time.

I have not been a good bandster -- I at one time had lost 100lbs -- now a little over 70lbs.

How is everyone else doing?

I have restriction - but I don't get a full or satisfied feeling just STUCK -- so I get frustrated eating -- Carnation Instant Breakfasts are my new best friends.

Yes I know I eat TERRIBLE -- lots of carbs - liquid calories.

Please share with me how my Violet Sisters are doing...

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Gina, good to see you back. It's a daily struggle for me. A long road but one I am determined to see to the end. All I can say is hang in there. If you fall get right back up and work on it again, which coming back here is a good start. Hope you stay with us.

Jenn, I'm sorry for all that you ahve gone thru. That had to have been awful. I wish I could walk with you. I had to take my sister to the pshyciatric center twice for thoughts of suicide. She is so much better now but it was a hard faught battle. You are in my prayers.

Nice quite evening here. I got back from church and decided to take doggie for a walk. We did about a mile and no sooner got home and it started to rain. Tomorrow is our church picnic and they are calling for nicer weather. Good deal.

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Jenn, I'm sorry for all that you ahve gone thru. That had to have been awful. I wish I could walk with you. I had to take my sister to the pshyciatric center twice for thoughts of suicide. She is so much better now but it was a hard faught battle. You are in my prayers.

.

I'm sorry but glad that you were there for your sister. That was the short version, you could not even imagine the horrible details that were left out.

My daughter remember's how I was, she is walking with me.

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((Jenn)) what a sad story, I'm sorry you had to go through that (and still do).

Terry, the necklace is beautiful, I really love it, the big beads are very elegant.

I weighed myself this morning, I was posting in the pregnancy threads.. I have always bounced between 2 numbers since banding, till it gives me a new low number, repeat.. since finding out I'm pregnant, I bounce between NINE numbers. 212-219. Literally 212 one day, 219 the next, 215 the next, 217 the next.. so today I was 212 again.

I couldn't have that, no siree, I gotta fatten up..pff.

I'm so into sweets, I can't help myself. The only thing restraining me from pigging out, is Russell.. I can't hide binge from him (I use to prebanding, but it would be late at night.. since he is up later than I am for a long time now, I don't get to sneak anything). I know, I'm sick. I tried to see a shrink!!

But he left this morning to go visit his family... I went to the gas station, got a nasty ass eggroll (note to self, don't eat gas station food)... junior mints, reese cups, caramello.. I ate the caramello.. threw out the egg roll after 1 bite.. 2 hours later, starving.. I don't have anything I want to eat.. I'm even more picky these days, nothing sounds 'good'.. except spinach dip and tomatoes.. mm.. Anyway, so I ate junior mints.. took a nap.. mom called to go to dinner, we went to Landry's, none of us have ever been. I had tilapia with cream sauce and some scallops..was awesome.. then I got a creme brulee to go. Just finished the creme brulee.. ho hum. Russell needs to not leave me to my own devices, I am horrible! Got the reese cups laying in bed next to me, I won't throw them out but I'm trying to at least refrain from eating them until tomorrow.

I'm a fat girl at heart. :thumbup:

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Candy used to be a weakness, not so much anymore, heck I have the HUGE bucket of candy in the cool part of the garage----and it is not a big deal. I have been wanting wierd things!

When Rick got home, we run into town and got some things to work on his shop, got some peg board hung and shelves and work benches up. Lights are up, and he and Dad will hard wire it next days off. It is looking good, and with each addition we put into it, a few more bits and pieces leave my garage, I am loving that!!!!

Then we come in and packed him to leave, I hate that he is going. I like him being home.....I am not into being all alone!!

Jenn, I am sorry you are re-living the suicide of your friend. At least you know you are making positive steps (yeah----pun intended) to move forward from it. Knowing what you know....about the heartache and the lonliness, will keep the thoughts at bay for you, because you love your kids too much to do that to them. Maybe he just didn't know.

I had a friend years ago, a woman my Moms age, but we developed a friendship through another mutual friend. Her name was Betty, and she was a really amazing woman. She had 4 kids all in the general age range around me....and then had a surprise baby many years later, and he was born with Down's Syndrome among other retardations that I no longer remember the name of. Her husband died and 8 months later her youngest son died. So she was living alone when I knew her, and her kids just pretty much ignored her, living their own lives. She babysit for one of her DD's a lot. This DD hated the group of us girls her Mom hung out with. She accused us of using her ---for what we never knew!! She was much poorer than any of us! She was just a nice person---her DD was not. Betty---the friend---ended up with lung cancer, and they removed one entire lung and a portion of the other. She fought hard, and won the battle with the lung cancer. Lived for 6 more years and ended up with a brain tumor that cost her her life. Since that time the DD that disliked us all so much----all 3 of her sons have committed suicide! The middle son shot himself not long after graduating, because his girlfriend dumped him. She was so psycho she called the GF and screamed and called her all kinds of names before she even called 911! Then about a year later the oldest son shot himself with no one having any idea of why. And not long into his first year of college the youngest son ingested no less than 400 different medications and washed them down with Jack Daniels!

She now has her only daughter left, and I see her, and she still refuses to be decent to me, and I feel so bad for her!

We worried about my brothers limited mental capabilities and his addiction to alcohol for so long, that he would become suicidal----but he is stronger than I have ever given him credit for I think!

Gina!!! Good to see you!!! It sounds like it might be time for a study of why you are having eating issues, maybe you are too tight? I know it is hard not relying on the band to give you real restriction, but without it being so tight, you can eat real, quality food!!! I hate to hear you are having trouble!

Jane, what was the reason for cancelling your appointment? That seems like such a short time frame for fills. Heck when I go to see my Dr, even without filling me, he spends a good 20 minutes talking to me----that would only let your Dr. see 4 patients or so a month for fills! Is there another Dr. option for you??

Lunasa, I have no idea why you would get tighter and tighter....did you say you have an appointment or not??

Did ok with eating today overall. For Breakfast, I ate a piece of Peanut Butter toast, for lunch I had a taco, and for dinner, we had kabobs with pork, peppers, onions and a teriyaki glaze. I ate about half of one, some of each of the things.

I know I am getting in plenty of calories, probably too many to be honest---but I feel like the food is pretty balanced. I drank 6 bottles of Water, and a couple of cans of SF 7-Up! The only snack I had was a small pickle. No ice cream, and no candy corn.....and the world seems to be spinning just fine on its axis anyway----go figure!!!

Judy hope your party went well!!!

I bought the first part of my secret Santa gift today!!!

Catch you girlies in the morning!!

Love ya!

Kat

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Good Morning, Violets..

I'm up and getting ready for church. My choir sings again for the first time this season. It's back to the routine once again. The party was great. We had 25 here and the rain held off for the entire time. They loved my yard and I was really proud. Now the Bobster says we're done til next year. I don't blame him, we did a lot this year. But it was all worth it. I'm going to swim in the pool after church today and I'm looking forward to that.

Jenn...be strong. My mom tried to commit suicide three times after my brother and I left home for college. Thankfully she survived and got some professional help. But I know how depression is and if you don't seek that help, then it's an insurmountable feeling of despair.

Kat... we'll all be here for you when you're alone this week! Being here for each other is one of the things the Violets do best!

Ethan comes over Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week and then stays the weekend with us while his mom and dad go to a wedding. I have a concert on Saturday, so Kris will take him for the night.

Gina.. glad to see you back! My plateau has been an ongoing thing since January. Can't seem to lose and keep it off. But I'm going for a fill in a couple of weeks and hope that helps. I just keep plugging away hoping that it will eventually start dropping off again. At least I know my body shape is changing. Clothes I have that used to be tight are now comfortable.

Well, I better get off here and get some breakfast before church. Everyone have a great day. BBL....

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Good morning ladies!

Ugh, so much I wanna say but I can't cause you never know whos watching.

Laura-hope the reeses survived overnight! I am a fat girl at heart too. Always have been. I think all of us are otherwise we would not be here. BTW....when you posted the pic of the hair and your back was showing I forgot to tell you something...did you notice your skinny back? I did...WOOT! You have done great. I am so proud of you!

Judy-glad that your party was a success. I am petrified of bees and wasps. I would have stayed in the pool until I was pickled! lol

Jenn-I have never been through a friend or family death by suicide. I can not begin to imagine the grief. (((hugs))) At least it brought you to US!

Gina-I know all about the gaining scene. Lets hang tough together and we can beat this!

Lunasa-sorry you can not eat. It is really simple, you need to give some of your fill taken out. Mine did the same thing and after I had .3 taken out, I was good to go! Call your dr. Take care!!

:thumbup: HiYa everyone else....have a great day!!

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You guys are so sweet

It is not easy reliving and I'm sure the walk is going to be hard, but there are so many people who deal with this type of situation.

Anyway... thanks... but there is the rest of my story that i don't always find easy to tell.

I'm just getting up, drinking coffee, and going to go for a walk, i ate 1 bite of store bought potatoe salad last night and threw up for hours... yuck

reality check!

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Showered just need to dry my hair and put on my makeup, oh and get dressed. Ready for church, lunch, and a show!

Judy I am so glad your party went well. I was outside playing bingo last night and a few drops of rain started, but then stopped, and I thought of you with hopes that drops did not fall in your direction!! You have a beautiful backyard, of course they loved it!!!!!!!!!!!! I was going to drop by and pretend to be with choir just to enjoy it!!!

Lunasa, can't help you with info, just hope that it all turns around for you. Band problems suck!

Okay off I go............

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Morning V's~

Up early to cook Game Times Joes for a football party! As it cooks in the crocker, I'll work on homework! Stats guy was great, and will be back tonight @ 5pm!

Judy, glad the party was great!

Jenn, we love you!

Terri, how are you doing

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((Jenn)) what a sad story, I'm sorry you had to go through that (and still do).

Terry, the necklace is beautiful, I really love it, the big beads are very elegant.

I weighed myself this morning, I was posting in the pregnancy threads.. I have always bounced between 2 numbers since banding, till it gives me a new low number, repeat.. since finding out I'm pregnant, I bounce between NINE numbers. 212-219. Literally 212 one day, 219 the next, 215 the next, 217 the next.. so today I was 212 again.

I couldn't have that, no siree, I gotta fatten up..pff.

I'm so into sweets, I can't help myself. The only thing restraining me from pigging out, is Russell.. I can't hide binge from him (I use to prebanding, but it would be late at night.. since he is up later than I am for a long time now, I don't get to sneak anything). I know, I'm sick. I tried to see a shrink!!

But he left this morning to go visit his family... I went to the gas station, got a nasty ass eggroll (note to self, don't eat gas station food)... junior mints, reese cups, caramello.. I ate the caramello.. threw out the egg roll after 1 bite.. 2 hours later, starving.. I don't have anything I want to eat.. I'm even more picky these days, nothing sounds 'good'.. except spinach dip and tomatoes.. mm.. Anyway, so I ate junior mints.. took a nap.. mom called to go to dinner, we went to Landry's, none of us have ever been. I had tilapia with cream sauce and some scallops..was awesome.. then I got a creme brulee to go. Just finished the creme brulee.. ho hum. Russell needs to not leave me to my own devices, I am horrible! Got the reese cups laying in bed next to me, I won't throw them out but I'm trying to at least refrain from eating them until tomorrow.

I'm a fat girl at heart. :thumbup:

Laura

Thanks, and i'll go through it my entire life, but it is ok, i'm in a better place about it and much more aware of things around me.

I have to tell you... with dd, i picked at the craziest stuff that you would have thought would have been bad, grilled in butter Bagels and cream cheese, reubins, and vanilla icecream with hot apples were among my favorites (still are) and lost 25lbs when i was carrying her! so don't beat yourself up too badly, you are eating for 2!

So eat 1/4 cup of chips and not the entire bag....I am still laughing about the fat girl at heart... because I am too!!!

you better take pics of yourself with that cute baby belly.. I gained so much with ds i just looked fat... very fat for most of it... you are going to be cute, you really are tall and slender so will now have a baby bump....

i don't know if that is coming out wrong or offensive... not meaning too,...... just trying to say you are going to be stunning !

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Good morning everyone -

Hi Gina! Good to see you again! You're in good company here....we all seem to be having issues of one kind or another. Maybe coming back here on a regular basis will help in some way. I agree that it sounds like you are too tight. I was in the same spot but instead of Carnation Instant Breakfast I was resorting to chocolate shakes!!! Yikes!! Got an unfill and can at least eat healthy foods again...I recommend it.

Lunasa - You have been struggling with this for some time now! Get your butt to the doctor for an unfill NOW. The only reason I can think of that it might be getting tighter is that you are in a loop of irritating it when you try to eat something "real". A liquid diet for 2-3 days, then nothing but mushies 'til you get to the doctor is all I can recommend. I'm sorry you're having these problems, dear!

(((Jenn))) Yep, that's a subject that's dear to my heart as well. I'll send you a check for your walk and am happy to do so. Thank you for supporting such a worthy cause.

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Terry

I was so happy to see the walk on the news, it is something that might help with my closure and awareness.

I'm going to shower and get lunch with the kids, i am dying for French onion soup! That is about my speed

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Oh, the PAIN. I decided to make apple salad for the picnic today. I'm supposed to make a veggie or fruit something. Well I get up this morning and feed the cats, get my juice and start opening a bag of caramels and unwrap them. I didn't even take a nibble while I was cutting them up into smaller pieces. I than start cutting up apples. I ate 2 slices of Jonathans and than started cutting up the Granny apples. I had a few slices of that also. Than it hit---OUCH. I should have chewed them better. They aren't stuck just in there. I can drink so I'm ok there. It's just like they feel like a ton of bricks sitting in there. Hope it gets better by Chili time. I also started a pot of chili for the football games.

I woke up with a charley horse this morning. Went in and took a pottasium pill and went right back to bed. I slept for another 2 hours, so I think I'm good for the day.

Looks like it's going to be a great day here. Sun keeps peeking out and it's supposed to get up in the mid 70's. Nice day for a picnic.

Janie, Kity ans Suzie---Hmmmmm, all good little Chatholic Girls. Did you guys go to parochial schools? I attended St. Ferdinand's - in San Fernando Calif and Bishop Alemany High School in Mission Hills, Calif. Believe or not but to this day I still like plaid. I never did mind having to wear uniforms. Never did figure out why the high schools boys didn't have to. Our Senior year they were able to wear slacks on fridays. I do think my knees are mad at me though for it. Nothing like growing up in the church.

Everyone have great day. I'll check in later. Hugs.

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Susie~ I went to Our Lady of the Assumption for 7 years, then St. Teresa's in Palm Springs for 8th grade! Yes, what a model Catholic girl I've been, hehehe! Actually, according to Billy Joel, I am right on target, lol! I also like plaid. I loved going to Catholic school because it gave me a great foundation. I love the church. I never followed their rules, but the strength in my spirituality is unfaultering!

Off to work. The Game Time Joe's are cooking in the crocker. They call for pizza sauce and pepperoni! Should be good!

Have a great day!

Pamela

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