Shrinkin' Violets- Part 2 Read Here

[Kat817 19]

Was just checking to see if we had heard form Pamela or not.

Glad you are home, and it is behind you, now just rest and relax, and get well. Think all sorts of happy thoughts, about how you can spend all the $$$ you save not supporting the Tampax/Kotex companies!!! Not to mention the general misery! So glad you are ok.

Just spoke quickly with Terry--let her know you checked in. She says her friends place is super nice---sounds like she is going to have fun--------hope so!!

Rick is off to his Dr. appt. I am waiting at home to see if I can get a call back on my results. I feel good about it. PS agrees, he says he has received nothing, so that is a good thing too. He mentioned a round of steroids, to reduce possible inflamation. But I have some allergies with that, so we'll have to see.

We were supposed to have a BBQ and play some dominoes with Becky and Gary tonight---but not sure that is happening. We have this friend, we have known for 20 years--he is an AVID hunter, a bow hunter, has taken bears, caribou, etc, all with a bow. He married had a couple of kids, divorced, and was single for many years. Then he hooked up with this woman, none of us liked her, she was crazy we always said. Well they had a rocky relationship from day one, then the engagement was broken, and the following day he showed up with her and they were married!! That up and down all over the place kind of thing. Well it didn't change so he told her last Fri. he wanted a divorce, and she went nuts, so he left. He went and fueled his truck, and went to the local Grocery Warehouse where another friend is manager of the meat dept. and hung out and visited there for an hour and 7 minutes to be exact!!! He got a load of boxes for her. So he headed back to the house, pulled in his drive, and up pops a cop, and arrests him for domestic abuse. Says his wife has bruises on her arms, and there was a clump of hair she said he pulled out. They told him (he was never even allowed in the house) there were broken dishes--that he supposedly threw at her! So he spent a mandatory 24 hours in jail. He got out, but she has a restraining order on him. This was his house for 8 years before he married her, and now he cannot get in! She had a yard sale today---Rick went for him, and bought about $4500.00 worth of bow hunting equipment, bows, arrows, sites, all kinds of things, for $20.00. Meanwhile I called Jim, who called the cops and got it shut down---but in the meantime, lots of his stuff was sold---to others besides us!

So he has an attorney, and at the time of the call to 911 she made claiming he just beat her and left, he can prove thanks to the receipt from the station, and the surveillance cameras in the grocery store he was not even home. But the attorney said it might not even get to be shown.....So far he is out $7500.00 in retainer fees. Since he cannot go to his house, he is staying with Becky & Gary. Not sure I want to spend the night listening to his timeline, and worry--that sounds mean, but I am not a believer in our justice system in divorce cases---so I might be a hinderence to him!!!

Thinking I might convince Rick to a movie instead!!

Well my brother just pulled up. I ordered his boots last week, UPS delivered them today.

BBL~~

Kat

[Teachlady 3]

I called and let Terry know too as soon as I saw the post from Pam. I figured she'd have a lot of phone calls.. Didn't get to talk as the connection was really bad.

Back to playing ball with Ethan. We're going out for fish dinner tonight. Catch everyone later!!

[Daisalana 33]

She didn't even answer my call!!!

[TracyinKS 7]

VENT

OK......... Dh is not going with me the $468 airfare is just not feasible........ (So my sister is going with me) He is really trying to control my fun. Told me I have to find a sitter for Robby (he did this for TX too) Said that he expected the money when I get back so we can go buy a new tent........(RED ANGRY FACE)....... I told him he was not spending my consulting fee at Cabella's...... I then told him that if I wanted to buy a new shirt while in Vegas with the money I'm making then I'm going to buy a shirt..... So then he says.... "Well it better not cost $100" (OK... so you guys really don't know me face to face.. but THESE WORDS ARE LIKE WAR TO ME) I have been working for what I want since the age of 13 and I do NOT like it when people try to tell me what I can and can not spend my money on. The short hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up... ... because ladies he just spent upwards of $500 on stupid ass camping shit for boyscouts... i.e his own personal Dutch ovens, special cot pads and cot tree's and stuff that he may or may not use........ STUFF that I will not use because it is SCOUT stuff..... I am boiling boiling mad....... but I am proud of myself because I did not let it escalate... Deep breath, I am trying so hard to remember that he is freaking out on me being independant......... (he is so used to being the boss... his first wife is really quiet and non confrontational and was not a wager earner, he was the fire chief in small town hell) so he is used to being in charge and in control of what the money is spent on.......... OK so I don't make wonderful money but it is more then minimum wage and I carry all the insurances and such...... I bought my own house, had a motorcycle, 401k... you know... I had my shit together....... this has not changed......... what has changed is we are now married..... he is legally entitled to my stuff and I guess he is trying to control all the money yet he does NOT handle money smartly....... and now he is acting way more controling...... the phycobabble side of me says.. "Tracy he is just acting out because he feels that he's losing control so he's grabbing tighter, he is not used to the changes and attention that you are getting so he is going all caveman on you, and trying to prove his manliness"

I am sooo trying to let this all ride out........ and not blow a gasket.. hell I am not going until the end of JUNE!!!!!!!!!! Please say a prayer for me that I am able to let this go and not have a knock down drag out about it this weekend.... it is ridiculous..... we will get through this..... he is a good man but right now he is acting like a complete ass.... actually I am fighting frustrated tears as I type this.... I'm just so pissed that he is acting this way... about TX and now this....... I've been trying to stash back money for fun in TX because he has already been hounding me about how we can't afford it..... sorry V's.. I'm just so frustrated......

[Haydee 2]

Tracy - please don't apologize for venting. That's what we're here for. And yes, you've nailed it right on the head. ..."he is just acting out because he feels that he's losing control so he's grabbing tighter". Just keep repeating that to yourself so that when another confrontation happens it doesn't escalate. Listen, I'm the last person to be giving out relationship advice, but I think that eventually he will realize that even though you are becoming more and more independent that he is still the man of the house you won't take that away from him. I think all men are cavemen at heart. So... come here, vent and fret with us... Call one of us if you need to...

Pam! I'm glad you are feeling ok. Hopefully you're not in too much pain. I'm sure Susanne will take very good care of you...

TracyK - how did the unfill go? You feel better?

Laura - At the very beginning of the thread I think it was Kat that said that she flushes out her pouch completely before going to bed. I took that to heart and always always flush it out. If for whatever reason I eat something right before bed I sit up and read or sit up and watch TV, or even sit up and doze off... but I don't lay down until I've drank a full glass of water... I think what you felt was just your masticated food just coming back up. I wouldn't worry about it. Just flush out your pouch from now on...

It's been a hectic Friday today. I'm so wishing it was already 5 o'clock...

[Haydee 2]

So the weather cleared up and we should have a beautiful weekend. TracyK - yes the weather was nasty here yesterday! It wasn't where you are at? It was rainy, cold, dreary... yuck. This morning it was like that too but the sun is shining now...

Glad for that because we've got a garage sale scheduled for tomorrow. More stuff was dropped off at my house last night. And yes Terry, I do get to keep the money from everything that is dropped off! So that's a big plus...

So... I think I might need a fill again. I am able to eat alot more than I was before. Question is, just because I can shouldn't mean that I should. Sigh, I need to go see a therapist. I don't think I've actually dealt with my obsession with food. I've been letting the band do all the work so far. And when it slacks off a little I take advantage of that and that's not right... By now I should have learned something...

[TracyinKS 7]

Thanks Haydee! your post made me feel a lot better.

[Kat817 19]

Tracy--sorry DH is taking his insecurities out on you. I have no wise words of wisdom----just to try to keep tempers calmed and talk it through rationally.

You pointed out that you had it together before, him, so plan around him if that is the way he wants it! Make Robby's arrangement with a sitter, or a family member, and go with it. But DO NOT give up yourself. I understand there is a give and a take in marriage, and any woman or man who refuses to accept that and deal with it, is in for a shock!!! But, you should not be expected to change who you are, and give up oppportunities for yourself. Point out that you would not be acting that way if he was offered the opportunity.

I am somewhat old fashioned in my overall marriage and outlook of it. I have no issue with him being the man of the house, the King of his Castle. It is a very fine line---one we got into serious discussion of when our oldest DD got married. One of the girls in the wedding told her to be sure they did not make her say obey in her vows. So she gets all womens Lib on us, and says she will not say "love, honor and obey". Which is her right not to say----but as I pointed out to her, I honestly feel like if it is not something she could say with comfort, maybe he wasn't the right guy. Because I could say it without questioning that Rick would ever order me to do something against my will. That is the dividing point----a trust in the partner. Believe me, I have had the other--and know the difference!!!! She did not say it, battled with the equality thing every step of the marriage, and it mostly boiled down to immaturity on their behalf. But they really thought if one of them cooked on Monday the other should do it on Tuesday, everything should be 50/50. Marriage is not 50/50!!!! Some days it is 90/10---but next week you might be on the take end-------it has to bend---or it breaks. I think all of them are slowly coming to understand that now!!!!

Take a few deep breaths so you can bend.....not to HIS way always, but bend to a point you can work things together. I am sure he is kinda blindsided and wowed with your success, and secretly wondering where he fits in all of it.

You are self sufficient, and you manage a job and a home, and are stepping in helping raise his kids too....and now you are looking hot, and getting national attention!

Not sure how exactly to say this....but imagine it in your mind. You married him, and he was a certain way---well now he has slowly transformed, and he has his shit together in an all new way, he trades his Dyna Glide, for a Custom built and painted bike, with room for only one.....he gets invited to Vegas to show off the new bike, and off he goes gets his hair styled, and a new tattoo, and dons his biker gear and roars off----leaving you home with the kids, wearing your same old house clothes, and feeling unchanged despite all of his changes. Inside he is the same Charles, but---he is instilled with new confidence, which leaves yours feeling a bit shaken.....

I know the 2 are different---but it was merely an effort to put you in his shoes. Now how you would handle it is likely very different from how he is------but much of that is the male vs. female. He doesn't like it so he is going to "fix" it by demanding and laying down the law!!!

Robby might feel a bit scared when you go off without him, and so is the little boy in Charles!!!

Tough love is going to be hard, but I would just let it be known I am going, this is an amazing opportunity for you, for all of us bandsters.

Just try to keep communication open, it is important, but so is the integrity of your marriage....and not let him or anyone think that anything is more important to you than that.

Off my soap box!!!

Laura, yes I have reflux, and acid if I eat before bed. I had a hiatal hernia repaired during surgery, but it has herniated again! My Mom has had surgery for them 2 times, big surgeries!! Both times they re herniated, and my Dad has the same issue.....so I do as Haydee mentioned, flush my pouch, avoid food after dinner, and sleep on a wedge pillow----and never on my back!!! I worried I was too tight, but the swallow test showed that was not an issue, but as soon as I lie on my back vs. my side, it tries washing back up. Sucks---and it is dangerous as well, aspirating that back into your lungs can cause pneumonia!!! If it keeps happening see your Dr. It might be from your new fill, you are probably a lot tighter than you realized--food must not pass through so fast!

Judy--I cannot blame Kiney---for my zipper issue---I zipped my own belly skin not long ago. I admit to saying bad words!!!

Michelle---so what Claire caught your allergies???? Sounds to me like a cold or virus regardless what your Dr. said!!! LOL Hope your DH comes home for some parenting relief soon!!!

Well guess who called and needs Rick....his parents! I am refusing to go! LOL

Better go transfer the message!!!

Talk to ya later, hang in there Tracy.

Kat

[TracyK 3]

TracyKS...I feel your pain sista!! Feel it all too well! I wish you weren't going through it too. 'nuff said on that subject. :thumbup:

The Wynn is AWESOME...have a fantastic time and buy whatever the "F" you want. LOL

Pammie-take a pain pill for me :eek: Take it easy and feel better soon!

Violets-have a great weekend....catch ya'll later.

[TracyK 3]

Oh, the unfill went great & I feel awesome now that I have solid food in me again! I had them take me from 2.5 to 1.7 :thumbup:

[janiebug 0]

Pam, glad you are home and everything went well. I hope this weekend is not a painful one for you!!!

TracyKS, that is horrible, it is so hard to put your anger someplace, I guess that is what we used food for!

Hugs and prayers for everyone!!

Kat have you found anything out?

[kity 2]

Hey Violets~

Checking in! Doing ok...taking it slow. I have the worst sore throat...the longer the day goes, the worse it gets. I am sucking on a lozenge(sp) now, but I told Susanne Dairy Queen is in my future.:thumbup:

TracyKS~ Hang tough. The next couple months I am sure DH will ebb and flow over the idea. You've got 2 trips in the next 3 months without him. He's probably a bit jealous as well as worried. Remind him why he fell in love w/ you in the first place. And if he still acts like a jerk...lingere works wonders :eek: (almost as good, if not better than Dairy Queen)!

Gotta run for a bit. Violets, thanks for all the Purple Power and keeping Terry in the loop, etc. I am sooooo very blessed to have wonderful friends like you all! I am soooo glad this is behind me.

Going to go watch Oprah's New Earth show we taped this week. We have the book and want to read it together this summer! Anyone else read it yet, or know what I am talking about?

Love you all,

xoxoxoxoox

[Jennifur 0]

Hi guys

Tracyks- Hugs - I can honestly tell you that I understand, dbf is more mental than ever and has admitted that he is extremely jealous of me and is afraid i'm going to find someone else.... and this really does make him more mental than ever... it is like a freaking roller coaster ride

oh... ladies... just in case you are wondering... i still love him and probably always will, but i don't know if that matters anymore... to me... good sign huh

Pam - glad you are good, and enjoy the R&R and the pampering

Tracyk - I have a friend who is on the board, she was banded Last March, Melissa, shee posted for me remember? Anyway - she has not lost much since surgery - had her port fixed - still not loosing, she does look great but our Dr only has her at 1.75! I was telling her today that was it? I know others that are almost maxed. I'm glad you are eating again. I only have 1.25 and think now I could go to 1.5 or 1.6 and go to the next level

Kat - that is a horrible story about your friend. I'm reading it and sadly thinking to myself... that is why i can't meet a normal guy... they are all with the crazy women. LOL

Well, don't know what to do with myself, just had a cup of sliced sub type lettuce, 3oz tuna with salsa and 1oz provolone cheese.< /p>

I'm going to add to those numbers if it kills me!

[Jennifur 0]

Hi guys, I know this is long, as i read it I was sick to my stomach and evdn have a can of that stuff right next to my laptop! xo jen

Latest Drug in Middle School - Dusting

First, I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for it's crime rate We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs.

I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least on ce a week if they used any drugs.

I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use one of them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my two sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them.

On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.

On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 5:30 am the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was propped up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.

I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 AM.

I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed h is best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said so.

Kyle was wrong. It's not just compressed air It also contains a propellant called R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. IT KILLS YOU.

The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE . You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as you're breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing 'the hit .' That 's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open. The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. And that's why its more accepted. There is no chemical reaction, no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.

It's easy to say hey, it's my life and I'll do what I want . But it isn't. Others are always affected. This has forev er changed our fa mily's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.

After Kyle died another story came out. A probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this 'new' way of gettin g high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.

We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs. Using Dust Off isn't new and some 'professionals' do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They all seem to know about it. April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus.

This Officer is asking for everyone who receives this email to forward it to everyone in their address book, even Law Enforcement Officers!

[TracyK 3]

Jenn-funny how fill levels treat people differently. I guess it is alot to do with personal preference. I am just glad that I am at the point that I think I know what my body will do well with. Only took a year to find out, right?! lol I am just really testing myself to see if what I think will work, really will work! If not, I know how to get back to the dr office. As long as I can maintain at where I am (and not smoke) I will consider myself a winner. I guess you could say my focus has kinda changed. I am content with being a violet and not a 'shrinking' one. :thumbup: Don't get me wrong, I am going to give it a hundred percent to lose more, but if I don't I am cool with it. I have accomplished (exceeded actually) what I set out to do. I definitely got my moneys worth. I can not be upset about that!