Shrinkin' Violets- Part 2 Read Here

[Jennifur 0]

Morning gals

Happy St Patty's day.

up and drinking my coffee, don't know what I am going to wear, I have to organize my room tonight

Man, can you stand what our govenor did? what a dumbass... today we get our new one...

[Teachlady 3]

Good Morning, Violets!!

Happy St. Pat's Day to all. We are headed downstate to the docs in an hour. Takes us 4 hours to get there. Going to do a little shopping after the appointment and then head home. It's a long day, but well worth it if the Bobster can get some restriction.

Catch you all this evening. Everyone have a great day. Make good choices and drink, drink, drink.............. Water, that is!!!

[TracyK 3]

Good morning violets...Happy St Patricks Day!

Pam-thanks for the cold coffe idea. I am gonna try that! I really liked BB last night. I wonder if he keeps his word and doesn't backdoor matt?

Judy-have a safe trip today.

Laura-my dh already had 2 kids and I knew he was good with them so I was not really worried about it. Mine was the first natural birth he saw. his other 2 were c-section. With mine, he was looking forward to it and looked like he was gonna pass out! He was like OMG!!:mad2:

Jenn-it is good to see you happy again!

Everyone have a great day!

[mdrai 3]

Top O' the Mornin' To Ya, Me Vi's~~

Ugh. Got on the scale. Really thought I did well this weekend. WRONG! Actually UP .2 lbs! WTF??? Can you say FLIPPIN' FRUSTRATED? Grrr.

Off to aqua aerobics now... maybe that will shake something loose!

[TracyinKS 7]

Top of the mornin' to ye......

Jenn: did I mention how freaking awesome you looked in your current pic??????? HAWT!!!!!!

Laura: I am biased on the kid thing because my first husband never wanted kids and I always knew that I was destined to be a mom...... I had 3 miscarriages and he was relieved each and every time I lost one... it was really an underlying reason that our marriage failed.... I always knew he would be a good dad but he needed to man up and not be scared of the responsibilty...... (he knocked up the girl he cheated on me with and then talked her into an abortion..... he knocked the next young thing he dated and had a shotgun wedding and now 2 little girls) and he loves being a dad....... I was right. Robbys bio has strong sperm but NO sense of what it takes to be a stable father figure which is why he has fathered 4 KNOWN babies but see's NONE of them..... I knew this but I didn't care.. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that he had supersperm and that if anyone was going to be able to get me pregnant than it would be him...... I was fully prepared to be a mom and thats all I really cared about.... (the consequences of those actions, have cost me a lot of money in court) I love love love being a mom... it is my lifes destiny... I have my son, and now look....... I have a huge family... I married a wonderful man who stepped up to adopt Robby and now we all have the same name and shared life.. I guess what I'm saying is this........ fulfil YOUR lifes destiny, and if you don't think DH will step up then you either need to be prepared to be the family anchor or you will need to reevaluate. Men are for the most part immature and either they will grow up and step up or they will continue to be immature and you will have to be the grown up for the entire family........ (not meaning to men bash)

[Haydee 2]

Hi girls! How's everyone?? Sorry I just left abruptly but I was going through alot of stuff a couple of weeks ago and I literally felt like I couldn't breathe. So I ran away. So mature of me, huh? I ran away to my grandmother's house, like a freaking 6 year old. No wonder things don't work in my life if this is how I handle problems.

It started like two weekends ago... with a huge fight with Juan. The problem is that he's all about self help and bettering himself and he's always trying to "help" me. He feels that we shouldn't enter into marriage without us being.... i don't know how to say this... "fixed"?? I don't know how to explain but he feels like we need to work on ourselves and to try to get all the kinks out of our relashionship. I feel like love is enough and that as long as we truly love each other then the sometimes friction that we have we can live with. So anyways, long story short, i ran away from my problems because I was getting so damn frustrated and guess what, your problems are still here when you return!

Oh and then my work situation is getting worse too. I am really not happy there and I don't want to just abruptlly quit without knowing what I really really want to do. When I last posted this Pamela asked me what is it that I trully love doing? Well in all honesty the thing that I've been able to come up with is that I like helping people. Whether it be helping them plan a perfect vacation or helping them fill out appropriate paperwork to file for child support, it doesn't matter. I always feel my best after I've helped someone in some way.

So anyways, all this came to a head around Wednesday of two weeks ago and since I was already starting my vacation the following Monday I just called in and started a few days early. I packed up my bags and drove down to Mexico. My grandparents were very supportive and I always feel so loved when I'm there. I stayed there until Thursday evening and then drove home. Friday morning my aunts called and said everyone was going camping and we decided to join them. So we packed up my car again and drove over to Columbus, TX and we camped out for a few days. We got back in late last night with three very tired and very muddy little dogs. We all got hot baths and went to bed.

I'm so glad to be back, I missed ya'll so much. I've got loads of work to catch up on and loads of Violet reading to do. I'll be back a little later...

[Kat817 19]

Happy St. Patricks Day my friends----are we all wearing our Gruene? I mean Green? Guess where my mind is??

I have to reevaluate what to wear, my green tshirt is not gonna work---while it would have the last couple of days---it is snowing again---so I need sleeves! Winter GO AWAY!

I know y'all are likely sick of Kinsey stories, but here is another anyway!!! :mad2:

I was telling her today was St. Patricks Day and we had to wear green or someone would pinch us. She listened, ask if I was going to wear green, I said yes, and Papa wore green....which is a HUGE change for him, he is always in red/gray/white or black!!! Anyway she repeated the whole St. Patricks thing. So she tells me, tomorrow we have to wear yellow....it is St. Spongebob Day. Took me a minute -- but Patrick is Spongebobs best friend. So all of y'all get your yellow ready for tomorrow!!

It is so dreary, I have the urge to cook all day. I have things planned for dinner, but they involved a grill---not such a great plan with snow! Think I will see what I can put in the crockpot to go with it, then I can feel like I am "cooking"---maybe some baked beans.....or a veggie dish of some sort. Something to go with ribeye steak!

Will think about it, and if I come up with a good plan I will put it on our recipe thread!!

Speaking of threads, sorry I have slacked on my Tuesday tips-----I space it out, and unless I remember and post, I don't get reminders, and it is out of my head----not trying to make up excuses, I am just a dummy!!! LOL

Well my DD ended up with another dog---did I tell you? They had 2. Sienna---a chocolate lab, and Dozer, a chihuahua. Kinsey's Dad bought her a little registered Chinese Pug. Little roly-poly thing, she loved him! Well his landlord found out, and flipped out! So he tells Manda, he is going to have to sell Kinsey's dog unless she will take it for her. Of course she let him off the hook and took the dog in. Kinsey named him Potter.....no one thought anything of it, she told us all about him the last 2 times she went to her Dads, she cried she wanted to bring him home. So he brings the dog, and all his stuff---including his papers. His registered name is something like Kinzers Hairy Potter. Jason calls Kinsey, Kinzer all the time----the name made me laugh!

Anyway Manda said she hates admitting it, but he is better trained and behaved than either of her dogs!!! They too are all kennel trained Tracy. Hope your boys love the pup!!

Laura, along the lines of what TracyKS was saying--I think a huge part of it revolves around selfishness. If given a choice between pleasing you and pleasing himself....if he consistantly chooses himself, he will likely do the same with children. If on the other hand he chooses you, or helping others, then even if he seems ambivalent about children, I would bet he would end up a doting father. But in my own personal experience....selfish people almost never change, they will always consider themselves first....spouse and children included. And while we all can be selfish at times....and I know you consider yourself a spoiled girl (!!)--asking the question of whether he will be good to a future child is already putting the child first.

Here is to another smoke free day TracyK---purple power (with green highlights--in honor of St. Paddies) to you!!!

BBL girls~~ Mr. Magoriums Magic Emporium needs started!!!

Kat

[TerriDoodle 6]

Laura, In my experience having children totally changed my life (obviously) and having the second one contributed so greatly to the stress in our marriage that it collapsed. I don't know if ya'll are ready or not, but what I can tell you is that being realistic and getting your marriage in a very strong place first is so very important. The issue of video games that you mention sometimes as being a problem, I can see becoming a major problem when you throw a child into the mix. Suddenly there is about 3-4x the amount of work to be done around the house and if he's in the habit of escaping into his virtual world, I can only see that getting worse. Even if that's not a problem anymore....there will be others that you haven't even gotten a glimpse of yet and will take you by surprise...so the bigger question is how are problems handled in general. Are you partners or is one more dominant than the other? In my experience if one is more dominant, the resentment tends to build as does the stress. You add a kid into that mix and POW! you got a load of trouble. BTW, my DH and I were married 10 years before we had children!....then the real trouble began. I certainly don't mean to imply that I regret having children...NOT AT ALL! I'm only trying to emphasize to you that your marriage needs to be in a very stable place...ready and committed to handling anything that comes your way. I also think that your dh might very well change his mind about going into the delivery room. If he is adamant about NOT going in, yes, I'd say that's a bit of a red flag.

Here are some online quizzes for you if you want....

Relationship Baby-Ready Quiz

Quizzes – Take a Fun Quiz and Test Your Knowledge about Getting Pregnant, Pregnancy and Parenting - BabyZone.com

Quiz: What Kind of Dad Will He Be?

Quiz: Ready for Parenthood Quiz

Are You Ready for Parenthood? - A Parenting Quiz

http://public.findlaw.com/life_events/forms/le2_2_1.pdf

[mdrai 3]

Great advice, Terri. I'd also throw in that I think I'd wait a little bit extra (maybe double the length of time they suggest?) after you're off the wacky meds before beginning to "try"... I'd want to be 110% certain nothing was still in my system that would harm my future child in any way. + I second the maturity/selfishness thing... and understanding that while the male gets the "option" of being a good father, it is ALL up to US (the mom) to be THE ONE who is there. Period. So you've got to be ready for that. My kids are #1 in my life. Raising them properly is my #1 job. Before I had them I could do what I "wanted" to do... & after they graduate I'll be able to explore myself & my interests again... but while they're mine I'm theirs and giving 100% to the job.

Am cooking corned beef & cabbage for dinner tonight! It's in the crockpot w/carrots, potatoes, onions & a bottle of beer! MMM!!

Still wet from the pool... will check back later!

[kity 2]

Hey V's~

Been a busy weekend and I haven't had time to pop in and say very much. I would catch up on the posts, but need to jump before I could get my 2 cents in. And we all know how much I like to get my 2 cents in!

Laura~ Can't offer too much advice myself, but I can say this. Your DH can go in and stay at your head, not near your feet. My SIL had my brother at her head, actually he was on a chair and video tapped the whole thing FROM THAT ANGLE. She, and I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH HER ON THIS ONE, didn't want my bro to see what was going on down there. There was a book or some research a few, maybe ten, years ago about men watching the birth. Once men see what the vee-jay-jay is actually MADE FOR, it takes something away from their contorted thinking that that is their playground. Now, many people and Violets may disagree w/ me on this, but I really feel that could be true. I saw my nephew come into this world. It was amazing and beautiful, but not for the squimish. Again, these are just my 2 cents. Perhaps DH can man the video cam from a respectable angle. :mad2:

Haydee~ We are so glad your back! So, I gotta ask, did Juan go w/ you to gmas? Did he know where you were? Did ya'll talk about it? How are things now? Inquiring minds wanna know!

Gotta go work for a bit! 4 days until Spring Break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cool:

[kity 2]

Michelle~

What time is dinner?

[janiebug 0]

Welcome back Haydee, I hope things go well for you!!! I agree with you about the problems still being there from vacations. Hang in there!!! We are support you and vent if you need to, even if you think it sounds silly!! I think I can speak for everyone saying that we are here for you.

I don't have any problem with green. Green and purple are my favorite colors, so I have a lot in green. I remember when I was in my early 20's I had this kelly green linen blazer, at the time I was much much lighter, and thought it looked great, was part of the pink and green generation! Am off to see a friend of mine for lunch that lives 1 1/2 hour away! It is rainy and ugly here, at least the sun won't bother my eyes! I am ready for spring!

I got on the scale this morning and gained another 2 pounds!!! I think I have walked on the treadmill 5 of the 7 days this week, and I even watched "I can make you thin" on tv last night!!!! I should have lost!!

Well enough complaining!

[TracyinKS 7]

Haydee: SO glad to hear from you! I hope you and Juan worked things out... I personally think that he should wisk you down the isle before you realize that he needs to go fix himself and figure out why he is putting off marriage with lame excuses all the while making you feel insecure and inadequet and before you realize that you are worth the effort and commitment of marriage, as you are a very smart and beautiful spirit that ANY man would be honored to have as a wife and mother of his children!

[TracyinKS 7]

OK girls............. I did it..... I MADE A PS CONSULT APPOINTMENT!

April 7th....... I think I'm gonna puke now.

[Haydee 2]

Thanks Trace, and yes, I hope he does realize what he has before it's too late. And no he didn't go with me to granma's. It was just me. I needed time to think about what he was saying. One the one hand I agree with him about us working on our issues. I have alot of issues but I feel like even if I work on myself for the rest of my life I will never be perfect. And I don't want to be perfect! So then that's where we get hung up. I want to get married NOW and start a family NOW even though I am conscious of the fact that we have our hang ups. He wants to wait until God knows when... We love each other and we have been together for so long that it's hard for us to even consider being apart but that's just a major issue with us and we've been going around and around this same thing for years now and I just don't know what to do. Leave him and then what?? Seriously, I know that anyone I talk to about this their first reaction is "leave him". But what if I do, I have to start all over??? I have to dig through piles and piles of men to try to find one that I am compatible with? I love Juan very very much, he loves me too. He spoils me, he listens to me, he is a good partner in every way. So there is my dilemma and what I struggle with.