Shrinkin' Violets- Part 2 Read Here

[TracyK 3]

Pamela-feel better soon! Poor thing

Jenn-wooohooo for you! Congrats girlie!

Terri-get to bead today?

Tracy-so what you are saying is that you do not have enough excitement in your life and you want more kids, right?:wink2: J/k

Denise-What a sad, sad situation! I wish I knew what to say but I just don't. I will keep you all in my prayers. Hang in there momma.

Kat-I was an aunt that bought all the loud toys and messy things to play with. My sister had payback time when macy was born!!

Tomorrow is my first day back to work. I am really glad to get back into a routine. My scale is staying at 180. Macy is doing much better. I feel like crap but as long as the babygirl is better, that is what counts!!

I am gonna get off here now. This headcold has me offbalance and woozy. Take care everyone:biggrin:

[janiebug 0]

Denise wish I had some sage advice for you!! That is rough what you and your daughter are going thru. Hang in there prayers and hugs sent your familys way!!

[Kat817 19]

Denise, that hits very close to home. It is hard to say what he is doing or saying that have her in a position that she feels she must stay. Plus you have to take into consideration her being pregnant, she is full of hormone induced emotions. She wants her life to be different---and she knows she wants it to be different, and is begining to make the move, or you would never have known about it. If she was still hiding it, as she apparantly did the first time or so--you would not know.

Simply by "coming out" and admitting it is happening, she is making the first step.

I know you had issues with her living with you---are you prepared to change that? If you are, or if you have an alternate plan for her, as far as a place to live etc. keep repeating that option to her. Remind her she is not alone. I know you have, I just doubt many people know how many times you need to hear it---and you never know exactly when the right time to say it will cooincide with the exact time she needs to hear it.

It is painful....more emotionally than physically. To grow up in a home free of any violence, and then be hit, it hurts your heart and soul, because you know that is not love. You question every decision you make, wondering how you got where you are...and begin to believe you may really deserve it, because afterall----here you are. I cannot explain it well, but it is such a deep hurt, you seem to try that much harder. Like the puppy that comes up and licks the person who just kicked them....you beg for the love you just KNEW was there.

I truly believe her telling you to be a very good sign. Keep the lines of communication open, and as hard as it is, rather than speak ill of him, speak lovingly to her, and repeat how she does NOT deserve that, and her child does not deserve to learn that either. She already knows all that.... but it helps to hear it.

It is a sad time for her too. Scary, when the person you trust the least is yourself.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Big hugs to both of you!!

Kat

[TracyinKS 7]

Kat: your post gave me goosebumps.....

Denise: I don't have any sage advice.......... I know I've told you guys my story.... Robbys bio... the pscyo rebound guy from hell after my suprise divorce...... Shrek was abusive, mentally and physically, hell he cheated on me the first week we were together... had me believing that I couldn't even paint a wall without messing it up (from the woman who BUILT TWO HOMES from the ground UP) I was down and spiralling after my ex left and this guy saw me for the victim I was......... I lost friends, my family loved me but just shook their heads at my NONTracy behaviour.. I started smoking, spending every night at the bar (he was a bouncer) I chased him around town after he had FORBID me from coming to town............. he used to hold my head over the toilet and sink and tell me that I wanted a fairy tale........ all things that I NEVER told a soul... I was deeply deeply embarassed, depressed, mortified at the shell of a person I had become... and yet I stayed with him.... I begged him not to cheat or be mean...... I felt lower than low... and like Kat said.. I felt I got what I deserved and that maybe my former life was a lie and this was it.... (again hard to explain) NO one could help me, because I denied it to my family and to myself... I didn't realize the cycle I was in because I KNEW I WAS BETTER THAN THAT......... and then I got pregnant........

Robby growing inside me saved my life........ I put down the ciggy's, I put down the booze, I quit being put down by him....... ( he told me on a quite regular basis.... "Man since you got pregnant you have turned in to a scandelous bitch!") to which I replied............. no, I'm just turning back into TRACY and if you don't like it then get the hell out...... well he told me he would NEVER leave and he would NEVER let me leave .......

Each time I would try to boot his ass 2 things would happen.

1. He would cry, say he'd change, beg to be able to be a dad to this child like he never had the chance to with his others......

2. Get mad hold me down and threaten me that I was his... and would always be his............

What I ended up doing was forming a plan.......... I sold my large house in the country (that I'm kicking my self for now!) but it was isolated and he ruined a lot of walls by punching them........ I bought a smaller house in town that I could afford on my $15.00 an hour salary..... read: OLD HOUSE, OLD PART OF TOWN, nice block with a bunch of old ladies as neighbors........ the house had a big yard an a security system... that I would get turned on when I made my move........... anyway.. my point is.. that no one could save me.. I had to do it myself... what my family did was support me and I knew they loved me and when I did make my move my dad drove 1.5 hours to get me and robby......... My sister loaned me a car because Shrek had ruined my car and paid me back by getting me a car (in his name) which he took and used as a control mechanism.......... anyway........ when I was done, I was done.... police were involved and I had the love of my family backing me up..... it still embarasses me to admit that I let myself become a victim..... to admit that I was so very low........ but I came out stronger and yes more jaded...... but I am here and he is a closed chapter.... and I thank GOD via prayer every day for my son and my strenght to get out of that cycle.... my prayers tonight will be for you Denise to see your daughter and grandbaby that she may gather her strength and do the same...... HUGS!

[janiebug 0]

Wow, you guys have seen a lot! I am so sorry that all you have had to experiance this! Life is so cruel sometimes. The one thing that I have learned from this board is that people are always changing for the better. There really are no stagnant people here!! Go get it Tracy and Kat!!

[househuntress 1]

I takes strength, lots of strength to over come what you ladies have. I admire you greatly.

Family and friends will be there for you/her when it's needed.

Also..please remember that most cities/towns have a woman's shelter and counseling whenever it's needed. If he threatens her, she can go there, if he does harm her in anyway...the STATE will prosecute HIM..she won't have to (at least in Texas that's the way)

Any church/hospital/clinic can give you the name of a shelter, attorney and or counselor that will help...most times free.

Hugs and prayers to those that have come through the fire and those that are starting the battle.

Women have the strength of 10 men when it comes to protecting their babies. Use that strength to protect you and yours.

[Jennifur 0]

Denise- Ditto what Kat said... just give her the options and let her know you love her. I will keep her in my prayers.

Tracyk-hope you feel better in the am, but I'm glad macy is better..

I'm off to bed... I'm really tired, tonight was our big cleaning night at work and I got to come home to the mess in my house. I made chili and chicken noodle Soup today and everything was all over... dishes were all over... I love coming home to a mess after I work, and made sure they had a nice dinner today.

[Kat817 19]

Well--my heart is pounding and I am WIDE awake!!

I was making the coffee pot for morning, and something nearby exploded, rattled the house. I opened the door and kind of looked around---saw nothing so come in. A few minutes later, sirens started and there just kept getting to be more and more sirens, so back outside I went. Mind you it is sleeting, and cold and nasty outside--but when I walked down my driveway, you could see smoke in the streetlights, and then I saw the flames! A huge fire, right in the direction of my parents and Manda's house. I come in and figured to heck with it, and called my parents----line out of order, goes to an immediate busy circuit signal. Which made me freak out even more. So I woke Rick up and told him I was gonna go check on them. The closer I got the more direct the line of fire looked with their house! It ended up a block this side of their place...the house is fully engulfed, they had the neighborhood being evacuated---it exploded from a gas leak. The utility company was there today to supposedly fix it! Manda's boyfriends Mom lived like 3 doors down, and the lady who takes care of Lindzie is right next door---and semi disabled, she is in remission right now with lung cancer---and the smoke so thick you could have cut it! Manda said she went to another neighbors, and could not reach her DD---because no one had phone service, so Ryan (the BF) drove her over to her DD's. I would be freaking out over my house--that fire is friggin huge! As I was coming home, firetrucks from other stations were still coming in....

I called my folks cell phone, and of course they have it turned off! I guess they will be ok, and will find out what is going on---when they find out! I am just glad they are ok!---can't help but worry about the people who were in the house, no one knows if they were there or not. They had been evacuated earlier while the utility company was working, but the neighbors, none of them knew if they ever come back. I didn't stay and talk to Ryan and his Mom anymore, Rick was waiting, and the neighborhood needed to be cleared out, I did not want to be in anyones way as they tried to get to what they needed to do. Scary business!

Anyway, guess I will play some Solitaire, and try to relax so I can go to bed!

See ya in the morning!

Kat

[janiebug 0]

Gosh how scary!!!!!!

Jane

[Suziecat 379]

Denise, All I can say to you is that I am going to keep your daughter in my prayers. and hoping that she will have the strength to do the right thing. God Bless her and you. Stay strong.

[Suziecat 379]

Guess what?

Water Patrol is on duty.

Drink

Drink

and Drink some more.

This means all of you. Today is an excellent day to do this. This means all of you that went to DQ over the weekend. It's a good day to get back on the ball.

"Let's get it started in here"

[Jennifur 0]

Morning gals.

well today the scale didn't move. LOL but shoot, -10 in less than a week, I'll take it.

Kat - that is really scary - I hope they find the people and they were still out. hope you got some sleep

[Jennifur 0]

working on my taxes and just about done, going to submit later today,, but looks like i'm only going to get back $3600. which is going to help... but if I had a job that paid me enough money to actually take taxes out... I would have had $8k... what a bummer... I needed that...but hey on a happy note, I'll get that next year because I'm getting a job asap! and that will pay for my TT... I'm not ready for that right now so It will be enough to pay what I need to pay and put a little aside. (OH that does include my plane ticket)

[Jennifur 0]

OMG

seriously need to vent. I just walked out into my back room, it is like a little Breakfast area but that is where the garage door comes into the house so all the dirt and mud gets tracked in there. well, one of dd's jobs is to sweep the kitchen and back room. I just walked on the area rug and stepped on something... well it was a pile of freaking dirt that was swept under the rug... WTF is she that completely brain dead where she thought i wouldn't ever find it?

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl... ds... my mr tell all.. said her friend was helping her and did it... she is dead meat when she gets home! Not to mention the mess I had to clean up when I get in from work last night.

[TracyK 3]

Hi Violets-

I am so sick. This next part is not for someone with a weak stomach....

I have a big boil, probably staph that I got over the weekend. I am going to my ob/gyn this morning to have it lanced. In the meantime, I am shaking, nauseated, diarrhea on top of my cough. At least my head cold is gone. Macy went to school this morning but I still hated calling in sick again at work. I can't drive cause I am too dizzy so dh is bringing me to the dr. I hope the dr can fit me in today. I am sure he will, he is very good and knows this is nothing to play around with. The upside is being sick made the scale go back down to 179. Have a good day violets!