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TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE

A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW drinks, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL

BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER

MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN

EACH BED.

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM.

THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE

CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

>>>

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL

WAS DEAD!'

'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'

>>>

HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'

'A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..., TAKIN MY

TEETH WITH HER :biggrin:

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Sorry gang, I've been missing in action.

Trying to read threads and catch up.... seems there are some newbies joining us.... WELCOME

and Green!!!! You lurker you, I am glad you are posting here too. I am still anxiously awaiting your ENT appointment and am eager for the results.

Hang in there girl!!!

My Mom got admitted to hospital Monday past, breathing problems. She was diagnosed with Emphazema before Xmas, but now they say C.O.P.D. same damn difference to me! She is strugling for each breath, it really was rotten as I had the flu this past week(read previous threads) and I was not allowed to go see her until today.

They have her in a adult diaper and noone is even trying to toilet her... really making me angry. There is no dignity in healthcare... its just easier I guess for the staff as there are Not enough nurses and Mom just isn't strong enough to use her walker yet and get to the liu.

I am going back there tomorrow and hopefully get her up and outta bed... the longer she lays there the weaker she'll get (my thinking anyways)

Ugh, I just had to get this off my chest.

:biggrin:

Peaches - So sorry about your Mom - I yes she needs to get out of bed.

Prayers for you both.

xoxo

Janet

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Peaches - I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. It is so frustrating to feel out of control when our loved ones are having those problems. My Mom was in & out of the hospital last year with problems & there was a two week period that my Brother or I stayed with her 24 hours a day because she couldn't fend for herself & needed an advocate.

Do the best you can to take care of yourself so you are strong and know our thoughts & prayers are with you & your Mom.

Carol

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I would go to the head nurse, with a paper and pen in hand and take notes. Ask her what the plan is for getting your Mom out of bed. Ask her wnat the effects will be on her muscles to have her on 24 hour a day bed rest. Ask her what physical therapy is being done. You get my drift. Every time you go in, ask for an update of what has been done since you were there last. Ask the doctors. Be patient. Wait them out. Make them stop and answer questions until they are ready to bolt and then ask them more. Make it easier to work with your Mom than to take the time to deal with you. Don't get angry. Just hold their feet to the fire and always be taking notes. If nothing happens, call the insurance company and ask them the same questions. It's better if they get her up since they are trained to do it. Save your back!

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Peaches,

Sorry to hear about your Mom's situation. BetsyJane has some good suggestions... Firmly, politely... hold their feet to the fire!!

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Your poor mum! She must be feeling humiliated about being made to wear and use a diaper. Peaches, this is a nasty situation. I do like Betseyjane's advice. Can she walk around with a portable oxygen tank?

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Don't know for sure but the pineapple juice enzymes is the magic I have been told. Breaks down the food quicker.

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Hi gang, I'm new to the forum & glad I found it.I'm happy there's a thread for 50's crowd. It seems I"ve been dieting all my life, mostly unsuccessful, but the times I was successful I gained it all back plus. I'm currently seeking a lapband surgery in hopes it will be the tool I need to lose the weight & keep it off. I'll be in touch. JohnC :)

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What JohnC said. :)

As I get older, I find that the weight is harder on my body. I'm only 5 lb. over my max weight as a 30-something but this time I've got high blood pressure, my cholesterol is approaching 200 and my joints and feet are always hurting. I'm worried that Type II diabetes is next.

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JohnC and McMadame . . . I have been FAT for 25 years at least . . .and had the high blood pressure and high cholesteral and pre diabetic . . . with joint pain and back pain . . . I could NOT have lost the 45 lbs I have without the aid of this band . . . I was walking with a cane last May . . . and now it sits in my trunk and hasn't been out for 2 months . . . I'm getting my life back . . . and can't say loud enough that "I LOVE MY BAND!" Give it some serious consideration. I'm 57 and thought I was about ready to cash life in totally - now I'm back to enjoying so much more.

Best of luck!

Chris

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Haven't posted here in a while. I am hoping to possible get get the dr's office to change there mind about me having to do a 3 month supervised diet. My insurance will waive it, but not dr's office. I have lost some since starting another diet. I lose but hard to keep it off. I go on the 28th. Hope everyone has a great week.

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Welcome to all

We all (us over 50 gang) have the same story - lose it gain it plus some for most of our life - we are getting older knees and backs hurt - we have fewer yrs infront of us than whats behind us (were in the heck did all those yrs go) we realize that we need to get healthy in order to add somemore years to what we have left - cuz if we don't we will die from this fat.

The band is a great tool to help with your Portion Control - but the biggest secret is that this is not a diet - this is a lifetime lifestyle change in our eating habits - I now eat healthy 98% of the time and exercise 4-5 days a week - I feel 10 yrs younger - I love my energy !!!

Good luck to you alll.

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we realize that we need to get healthy in order to add some more years to what we have left - cuz if we don't we will die from this fat.

Exactly! I have kids and I want to be around for their college graduations and weddings and first grandkids.

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But getting old is good... think of the alternative. :)

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