Being banded 29th Jan and I might cancel :(

Debbiecatal · January 7, 2008

I am 47 and just about to be banded, and I really really wish I had done it years ago! My daughter is 21 and also overweight, though not as big as me, and when she graduates from university this summer I am going to suggest to her she gets it done now, while she is young. Surely she will recover better at 22 than I will 25 years older! Go for it, find someone who is positive in your family or friends to support you through it, or go to a support group and get your support from others who really know what you are going through.

Do what is right for you, not for anyone else - it is your life and you want to be living and enjoying it a long time!

Debbie

musicalmomma · January 7, 2008

I can tell you that all of the people who were initially cynical about the surgery are in awe of how not easy it has been. Every day they see how hard I am working and both have completely changed their minds on surgery being "easy".
And even if it was easy then so what. Why the hell would someone want to do something the hard way if there is an easy way that works available?

I am right there with you babygrl! Even though it was my mother that was the biggest downer! Now she's "SO proud of me" and says "You've been working so hard" and "you're doing great!" etc...

Perhaps it is only the fear of surgery complications that are making them apprehesive...perhaps is ignorance of how the band works...perhaps it's a combination of the two...there are a number of reasons for people to be down on surgery.

My husband is from the UK. He moved here in 1998 to marry me Anywhoo...he didn't even TELL his family we were getting the band because he knew the stick he would get for it! There is an even bigger predjudice to overweight people in the UK than here in the states. I really feel for you.

As to your age...oldest daughter is 19, 277 pounds (14.5 stone), 5'8. I would LOVE for her to get the band...but even though my mom is my greatest cheerleader now...she's really discouraging my daughter from getting the band...and it's BURNING me up! I told her to let her decide for herself and support whatever she decides. It's more difficult for her because she's actually living with my mother, going to university, 1100 miles from me...so my mother's voice is the loudest!

Anyway...this long winded story is to say, I totally relate to how hard this decision is for you and just advise to do what you know is best for you and your health! Oh how I wish I didn't waste 2 years "deciding" on whether or not to get the band...and OH how I wish it was available in my 20's!

Let us know what you decide!

restricted · January 7, 2008

Hi, I am feeling very depressed at the moment, all my positive feelings towards the band have been squashed by my family and friends. They all think I am taking the 'easy' route and that I am being lazy about my weight.
I am nervous about the band... I'm sure everyone is but I 'TOLD' my brain I was having it done and that was that. Then all my family and friends started plagueing me with doubts.

As soon as I got the date for my surgery my family started having nervous breakdowns and put every negative possibilty in front of me. For example they keep going on about the general anesthetic and it could make me like a vegtable or I could have a stroke, heart attack or blood clots.

I am 21 5ft 15 stone and I don't smoke so I am sure that reduces the chances of any complications. Plus I am using the biggest private healthcare provider in the UK (BMI healthcare) who have been fantastic so far.

I know my life is on hold because of my weight issue and I know that if I lost all my weight I would be out there in the clubs and doing normal 21 year old things. It's just everyone around me is negative about it is making me consider cancelling the whole thing.

I need some positive feedback!!!! This site is absolutley excellent.

I would of thought my Mum would have been supportive because she is also big but she is not, in fact she won't even talk about it anymore.

Has anyone had any problems with the surgery or anasthetic (i know this affects everyone differently)

Thanks for reading this very depressing post!!!

Lauren xx

Lauren,

I was terrified about the surgery. Turned out, my fear should have been directed toward the pain of after surgery. I'm very old compared to you, and survived quite nicely. If I can do it, old and with several co-morbidities, I'd have more confidence in a younger person getting through.

Ultimately the lap band is a tool, one we don't have naturally. It helps us to better control our tendency to overeat. If we work against it, weight loss will be minimal. Working with it, amazing things are reported to happen on this forum.

You have an opportunity to get an aid that can help you resolve a problem, one which will probably get worse over time, and which will cause other problems. I'm saddened to read you don't have a supportive family. However, you have support here, online. From people with the experience of actually being banded. Try to let us help you online, as the band will one day help you personally.

If you are very overweight, this is a godsend. Try to think of the lap band as an opportunity. One which has only relatively recently been available to people. There are very few proven methods of losing weight for obese people, the lap band is one of them.

Accepting that we are obese, and need help is painful. What is joyful is knowing that there is help out there to be had. For most of human history there was no real help, or what help there was could be very dangerous. The lap band is the least invasive of the weight loss surgery's, and for those who apply themselves to their band it seems to have a decent outcome history. If your family can't or won't hear that, then you need to tune them out, and listen to your own heart and soul. If there is any specific question you have about the surgery or having a lap band, please ask. I'm certain you'll get several answers.

Txfella · January 7, 2008

best of luck to you!!

Paulax · January 7, 2008

Wow, I have nothing to add to the already excellent advice you got here. I just want to encourage you to be true to yourself. Be kind to yourself and listen to your heart. Well the logical part anyway.

I too never had a lot of support from family. But in my 40's I could give a hoot what anyone else thinks. I was also so scared about this surgery and doubting myself, I even thought of jumping off the operating table last minute. I am so glad I didn't. I am now down over 100 pounds and within 2 pounds of goal. I feel alive and beautiful again. I am so thankful that I had the courage to go through with it.

And I know in my heart that if I didn't, I'd still be 280 pounds plus, feeling every of my 44 years, depressed and not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to socialize, not wanting to put on a bathing suit, not wanting to buy clothes, etc, etc, etc.

Good luck with your decision. I too wish I had this available to me in my 20s. I'd have saved myself over 20 years of emotional and physical pain.

hugs

PS, there will be a lot less for your family to worry about when you get into the healthy weight range.......