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Is a potluck wedding reception a dumb idea?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Is a potluck wedding reception a dumb idea?

    • Yes, that is so unclassy I can't believe you would do that
      13
    • No, it's not bad if planned well
      7
    • I'm not sure, what about this suggestion instead (see my post below)
      5


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I'm not looking at all the other suggestions so maybe this is mentioned..

But when we were planning ours last year, we wanted to save money on food because I wanted other stuff to be more expensive and the budget only goes so far...

-If you hold the reception right after lunchtime (or dinner), everyone is expected to have eaten, so you can just serve the cake & drinks.

-Same theory, you can just serve finger foods. (This is what we went with, we rented the room in a restaurant- which was free if we were ordering food. We ordered the appetizer sampler, a whole lot of them and had them scattered on tables.)

-Have a buffet. This was a close 2nd for us, we were going to have a local BBQ place cater.. and have a cook out theme hehe. It was only like $5-7 per person to have the works.

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i didnt read all the other posts, so some of this may be repeated.

we did a sort-of-potluck reception. we paid for the meat/cheese trays and rolls. then we had our aunts/uncles/cousins bring salads, Cookies, etc... but only if they had offered. and we made some ourselves too. my friends mom did our cake. i made the cute little mints...got the molds from a friend who made them for her wedding. its a simple recipe and makes the best mints ever! (pm me if you want it.) i made those ahead of time and froze them. made some veggie trays

we had my mom take our pictures and then made frames and set those around. for center pieces we took those small fish bowls you can get at Walmart, put some irridisent (sp wrong, sorry) rocks in, then a little candle. we put those on top of mirrors and then sprinkled wedding confetti (also bought at walmart).

if i can think of anything else, i will let ya know.

good luck

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Oh my gosh I love all you ladies for all the great suggestions and ideas!!

I thought I would send a quick update as to what we are hoping to do. There is a place that is a small lodge that has a couple of indoor areas that could work for reception and it has a kitchen, bathrooms and then downstairs has sleeping for about 24 people. Outside has lots of area for camping and people (like the grandparents who have an RV) to park their motorhomes. So... we are planning for a long weekend and are going to have a "wedding weekend extravaganza". The place also has a great area to hold a ceremony so that is covered. If absolutely everyone on our guest list rsvps "yes" then there will be 77 ppl including myself and my DF. To rent it for the entire weekend is like $300. Saturday afternoon will be the ceremony, followed by mingling while the photos are taken (a girl friend of mine is a prof. photographer and will give me a great deal), then we will have dinner (nothing super formal), I am going to bat my eyelashes at the grandparents/aunts and see if anyone would be willing to bring a casserole or so, get a bunch of meat/cheese, veggie trays, the DF is scottish so he wants to have some hagus there as well (ick), and he also LOVED that Taco Del Mar does catering so we may invest in a taco bar/6 layer dip from them (reasonably priced). It's not going to be a fancy mashed potatoes, roast beef dinner but it will be great. I think we will arrange our own music by doing a bunch of mixed cds. You all have given me some great ideas for decorating. Our colors will be black and red so I am going to hit up some post valentines day/christmas sales for red stuff.

People can either camp out or I will see what hotel gives group discounts. Then Sunday morning I am planning for a pancake breakfast/present opening and people are welcome to stay through until Monday as we will be having a BBQ Sunday evening (this one I'm going to say people can bring stuff to if they wish).

A weekend event where I can actually spend time and enjoy being with all my family and friends and it will be perfect. How often do you get to have all of your friends and family in one spot and get to visit with them?

Of course this all bars on finding out if we can get the place for when we want haha. We have some inquiries in just waiting to hear back.

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Here are a few pics.. for some reason I can post from work, but not home.. don't know why.. Anyway, you can see the cheap dress, $14 bouquet and the main table that probalby has about 20 bucks worth of stuff on it... the candle holders were my mom's and the flower arrangement my friend made with a small portion of those flowers from Sam's. Rose petals were from ebay and so forth.. I think I mentioned this above in my other post, but it was a St. Patrick's Day wedding! LOL. Hence all the green..

Your pics look fabulous, you both look wonderful, and no one can tell that your flowers or whatever were cheap. Congratulations!

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Thank you !!!

And you can do it too!!

Your pics look fabulous, you both look wonderful, and no one can tell that your flowers or whatever were cheap. Congratulations!

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why not just stick w/ an early afternoon wedding and just do cake, punch, nuts, mints, and maybe a champagne toast....?! send them off to dinner on their own afterwards...

either that, or do an after dinner wedding, like around 7:30pm or something....

keep it simple. no one should judge you or your fiance's character by the type of meal that you served at your wedding.

also, cake, punch, nuts, mints, etc...you could possibly add a fruit arrangement and maybe a cheese tray to that for fairly cheap.

if you're worried about money, KEEP IT SIMPLE! it can be simple and still elegant all at the same time.

hope that helps.

however, potluck??? ehhh, i don't think its proper ettiquette to say, "hey, you're invited to my wedding, could ya bring some grub w/ya too?"

xoxo, christie

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I had a classy but inexpensive reception. Actually I had 2! LOL We got married in a very fancy mansion turned into a restuarant. They had a good size Ballroom, that we got married in and had a reception. The wedding was on a Friday night and we had only a few intimate people there. (30) b/c it was $30 a head. So the next day we had a big bash for everyone where we rented a hall, DJ and buffet style. We just really looked around and went to wedding shows alot. It saved us alot of money to investigate things. I got my wedding cake from a grocery store bakery, it was beautiful, very fancy and tasted better than any of the other cake makers that we sampled. It fed 200 plus the topper cake to freeze for only like 125.00. I also made my own flowers and centerpieces and the groomsmans corsages. I got a dress at a going out a business sale. I found an expensive caterer that included all the tableware too.

If you really want to save, I say ask a family member to caterer it, and keep it simple. meat and cheese plates, veggies, mini sandwiches etc. Cake for dessert. And dont serve alcohol. (too many calories and too expensive, plus if you have alcohol most places make you hire a security guard) you have a lot of great ideas on here and congrats to you!

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I disagree. There is little about a wedding that is interesting for guests other than the party. There should be food and there should be alcohol, even if it is a cash bar which is socially acceptable these days. There should be, however, in addition to the cash bar a complimentary glass or two of wine.

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I just attended a beach wedding in St Lucia, they just served champagne and wedding cake. No reception. It was lovely, very tasteful.

Personally, if you can't afford a nice dinner for your guests, then dont have a dinner. I have been to some weddings that were on a friday night and they just had cocktails and appetizers. I once went to a wedding that was first thing in the morning, the meal was brunch. It was cheaper to rent the venue and brunch food is cheaper than dinner.

I generally give cash (actually a cheque) at weddings, the formula I use is to estimate the price per plate, then add $100-$200 depending on how close I am to the couple. Lately I have been bringing a blank cheque and filling it out at the reception. Cheapo dinners and cash bars will effect how much I give. I think it kinda works out in the end........if the couple are not willing to gimme a glass of wine, I am not willing to give them a couple of hundred buckaroos

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials

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I once went to a wedding where they served nothing but cocktails and appetizers. The reception was held in an absolutely spectacular mansion. The bride and groom's friends all got plastered on the cocktails and began to party hearty. The upshot was that the principals involved were told that they would never be allowed to rent the premises again.

If you are going to be married in a church you could advise folks that they are welcome to come to the ceremony and then you could pull off two parties: a small formal party complete with decent eats for those who are the very closest to you, and then a great big casual come-as-you-are kegger+wine bash with country fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, etc for everyone else. You can be upfront about the reason for the two parties - shallow pockets and lots of friends - and you should probably throw the second bash when you have recovered from your wedding and the honeymoon.

Of course, you have got to let everyone who is going to be invited to the beer+wine bash know that you love them big time and that you want to them to party with you at this, one of the important times in your life. You should explain that you have skinny money but you do want to see all of them, and it is for this reason that you are planning to have a great big casual and very fun party for them. This will work best if you already have a date and a place and can give them all the requisite be-there-or-be square info. In short, your task is to make your guests feel very much wanted and to give them a good time.

I suspect that sometimes folks who are holding weddings may forget that they are also hosts. If you want to make your wedding a fun and memorable event then you will think like a host and you will want to make sure that your guests have a truly fabulous time. Your guests will appreciate your warmth and affection towards them, they will be happy to see your happiness in your brand new marriage, and they will enjoy the fun of a good party. The best parties usually do rely on food, booze, friendliness, and music. An expensive dress, a manicure, and lovely flowers really are not all that important. Go cheap on them and long on food, drink, and friendship.

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Remember, the only thing that is ABSOLUTELY required at a wedding is that you two get married. Everything else is extra. If you are really short on money at the moment, you can always have an extremely simple wedding and schedule the reception/party for some time in the future, when you'll be better prepared to pay for it. That's what my brother did.

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Yeah when we were thinking about the reception, my original idea was at my parent's house. They have a big manor house on a lake, with a huge pool with waterfalls, etc. in it.

So we were going to just go to their house (FOR FREE), and hold a BBQ out back(relatively cheap) let people swim(FREE!), etc.

We're cheap like that, and everyone would still have a lot of fun.

You DON'T have to spend a lot of money to have fun and make it memorable.

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