How did you deal with thoughts of failure?

[georgia girl 35]

Hi everyone. I've been banded for 3 1/2 months. I've had 3 fills with a total of 5cc in my 10cc band.

Here's my problem. I'm having thoughts of being a failure. I started out doing so good, I've lost a lot of weight, but for the past month, the scales haven't moved much. I'm not going to lie and say that I am doing everything perfectly, because I'm not. I do have a little restriction right now but it only seems to last about a week, then I can eat normally again. I've lost the motivation to exercise and I haven't been eating as healthy lately. I seem to be slipping into old habits again.

I read all of your stories and your success and I am so inspired by it. My goal is lose all of my excess weight in one year. I don't know how to get past this feeling of failure and how to get motivated again.

Did any of you go through a period where you slipped into your old habits? How did you get past it? I feel like a failure right now.

The reason I posted here is because I thought maybe some of you have gone through this and could help me. Sorry for the long post, feel free to kick my butt back into shape.

[TheGh0st 9]

Hey there Georgia. I know where you are coming from. I've gone through the same bouts of slow to non-existant weight loss and all out apathy to working the band like I can/should. Infact I'm trying to pull myself out of one right now and make that final push to my goal weight. It's hard I know. And I can't give you any great advice. I envy those here that have been able to keep themselves motivated all the way through or are able to kick themselves back into gear quickly after a setback. Sadly, I'm not one of them.

One thing that has helped me get through these times mentally at least, is to keep reminding myself that this is just a phase. The band is still helping me in that it is keeping me from regaining all the weight I lost while I'm in this funk and will be there to help me lose even more when I'm ready to get my head back into the game.

[TheGh0st 9]

A few things I've done to try to kick my motivation back in gear have included:

- Joining a weight loss challenge thread on lapbandtalk

- lurking amongst the threads of new bandsters in the hopes that there fresh enthusiasm will rub off on me.

- Attending local lapband support groups.

- Setting a small (or large) reward for myself if I reach a small interim goal.

[georgia girl 35]

Thank you so much ghost! Those are really good suggestions. I really do think that a small, local support group would be good, but there isn't one near me. I know there are quite a few people on LBT from my area, maybe this would be a good time to get one started.

I've been following your success for quite a while and you really have been an inspiration to me. I'm glad to know that someone with such success has went though the same thing, it gives me hope. Thanks again.

[jbrad71629 2]

Pamela

This is not coming from someone anywhere near goal but I just had to put my cents worth in... I read this and just wanted to cry and gve you a huge hug!! You are one of the first people on here to reach out to me when i joined and you have been such an inspiration , 55 pounds in three months is excellent! You need to be proud of yourself not kicking yourself.

It takes some people several fills to get good restriction, just hang in there we'll both get there I am certain. You know the weight loss is going to be hard until you hit your sweet spot.

If you want to get a support group started let me know we will figure something out. I have a friend from work that was banded the same day i was and i know she would join us and I know a few other who have used Dr B thta would probably love to as well.

I have read threads from you all over this board encouraging everyone you can find that needs a lift, now take some of that and give it to yourself. Take care and let me know if you want to get to gether for a support group we'll figure out a way.

[sunsett 2]

Georgia Girl,

Hi, I'm from Charlotte and we started a group about 21/2 yrs ago it was just 6 of us. We now have over 30!

You should start one for sure. Even if it's just 2 of you, it will grow for sure. We post our pictures of our get togetheres on band2gether.net Most of the group just posts on that site now. I post on both. I started here and LBT has helped me so much over the past 2 yrs.

#1 Do be to hard on yourself. We are all human and eating is a huge part of our lives.

#2 Give yourself permission. Your an adult if you want a cookie give yourself permission. The guilt goes away and it is much easier to get back on track.

You've lost 55 pounds in 3 months! Wow that is fantastic.

I think that the fear will never go away for us. My size 10's are snug and some 12s aren't fitting quite the same since the holidays. However, I am an adult and I will take control over my choices. The Holiday's have been so hard! candy Cookies all over the place.

I keep saying I have no self control, which I have now stopped saying because I do have self control!

Also write down your next mini goal weight write it everywhere think about that # and say outloud that you are whatever that # is.

I have 160 everywhere. When I put my makeup on in the morning it is on the mirror so I think about being 160.

Your doing great. Somedays you'll do better than others. Just think first before you make your choices and let yourself go with whatever the choice is that you have made and move on from there.

[TheGh0st 9]

Dianne we seem to be following each other around today.

Some suggestions for starting the support group might be to start small. Get a few of you to agree to meet at a band-friendly restraunt and split a meal, or maybe even meet one or two bandsters at a mall and try to walk a few laps with them. Even if you do more shopping than walking just feeling free to discuss what is going on with someone else with the band can really help.

[georgia girl 35]

Pamela

This is not coming from someone anywhere near goal but I just had to put my cents worth in... I read this and just wanted to cry and gve you a huge hug!! You are one of the first people on here to reach out to me when i joined and you have been such an inspiration , 55 pounds in three months is excellent! You need to be proud of yourself not kicking yourself.

It takes some people several fills to get good restriction, just hang in there we'll both get there I am certain. You know the weight loss is going to be hard until you hit your sweet spot.

If you want to get a support group started let me know we will figure something out. I have a friend from work that was banded the same day i was and i know she would join us and I know a few other who have used Dr B thta would probably love to as well.

I have read threads from you all over this board encouraging everyone you can find that needs a lift, now take some of that and give it to yourself. Take care and let me know if you want to get to gether for a support group we'll figure out a way.

Thanks for the encouragement, Jeannie. I think I'll post something on the Albany Georgia Bandsters thread and ask for some ideas of when and where we can all meet. I really do need some sort of support group to keep me motivated. This site has been a Godsend, but I think talking with people in person would help us all. Thanks again.

[georgia girl 35]

Georgia Girl,

Hi, I'm from Charlotte and we started a group about 21/2 yrs ago it was just 6 of us. We now have over 30!

You should start one for sure. Even if it's just 2 of you, it will grow for sure. We post our pictures of our get togetheres on band2gether.net Most of the group just posts on that site now. I post on both. I started here and LBT has helped me so much over the past 2 yrs.

#1 Do be to hard on yourself. We are all human and eating is a huge part of our lives.

#2 Give yourself permission. Your an adult if you want a cookie give yourself permission. The guilt goes away and it is much easier to get back on track.

You've lost 55 pounds in 3 months! Wow that is fantastic.

I think that the fear will never go away for us. My size 10's are snug and some 12s aren't fitting quite the same since the holidays. However, I am an adult and I will take control over my choices. The Holiday's have been so hard! candy Cookies all over the place.

I keep saying I have no self control, which I have now stopped saying because I do have self control!

Also write down your next mini goal weight write it everywhere think about that # and say outloud that you are whatever that # is.

I have 160 everywhere. When I put my makeup on in the morning it is on the mirror so I think about being 160.

Your doing great. Somedays you'll do better than others. Just think first before you make your choices and let yourself go with whatever the choice is that you have made and move on from there.

Thanks for the great ideas, Sunsett. What do you guys usually do at your meetings? Do you have a certain criteria you follow?

[georgia girl 35]

Dianne we seem to be following each other around today.

Some suggestions for starting the support group might be to start small. Get a few of you to agree to meet at a band-friendly restraunt and split a meal, or maybe even meet one or two bandsters at a mall and try to walk a few laps with them. Even if you do more shopping than walking just feeling free to discuss what is going on with someone else with the band can really help.

Ghost, you are right. I do need someone to talk to about this. I talk to my husband and he is very supportive, but he doesn't really understand what I am going though. Thanks again for your support.

[sunsett 2]

You can only talk about foaming and slimming to a select few!!! lol

Diane we are following each other!

Our group started out meeting at restaurants. We would meet on differen't sides of Charlotte, so it was never more that a 30/40 minute drive for anyone.

We grew and as time went on it was to difficult to talk with everyone so we just recently started meeting at my Dr.s office which is a central location. It doens't matter where you got your band everyone is invited.

Now that we meet in the office we have more structure to our get togethers.

The most important part I feel is getting to hear where others are at. Some are just thinking of the band, some getting ready to have it, some have just had it and then there are oldies like me.

We all learn from each other every time. And some wonderful friendships have been made through it.

I will try to see if I can find out first and then most recent picture to show you.

[georgia girl 35]

You can only talk about foaming and slimming to a select few!!! lol

Diane we are following each other!

Our group started out meeting at restaurants. We would meet on differen't sides of Charlotte, so it was never more that a 30/40 minute drive for anyone.

We grew and as time went on it was to difficult to talk with everyone so we just recently started meeting at my Dr.s office which is a central location. It doens't matter where you got your band everyone is invited.

Now that we meet in the office we have more structure to our get togethers.

The most important part I feel is getting to hear where others are at. Some are just thinking of the band, some getting ready to have it, some have just had it and then there are oldies like me.

We all learn from each other every time. And some wonderful friendships have been made through it.

I will try to see if I can find out first and then most recent picture to show you.

Thanks, I would love to see pictures!! Thanks for all your help, I really appreciate it.

[georgia girl 35]

Pamela

I read this and just wanted to cry and gve you a huge hug!! You are one of the first people on here to reach out to me when i joined and you have been such an inspiration

Jeannie, you have been an inspiration to me too. You're doing great and I'm so glad I had the chance to meet you. I hope I didn't discourage you, I've been really blessed not to have any problems yet. I've just been feeling this way for about a month now and I had to get it off my chest. Maybe I'm just having a hard time recovering over the holidays, I dunno. Thanks for all your support.

[jbrad71629 2]

Pamela,

No way did you discourage me don't even let the thought enter your mind. You have every right to get it off your chest and vent here. This is a great resource for us to have just for that reason alone plus so many more.

The holidays are tough for a lot of people. I understand where you are coming from on that aspect. I don't know how we even half way expect to put ourselves through the stresses we do each and every year and come ot sane. I always promise myself that I am not going to let the pressures get to me but I never live up to that promise.

I have been doing a lot of reading on here today, have been home the last two days. Yesterday I had my fill and woke up today feeling like I have the flu. SO all I have done is sit in bed reading and being a bum, but as i read i keep finding posts where you are trying to encourage or bring someone back up. I kind of think of you as the little lap band angel on here. Just remember that you are such a positive influence to alot of people, and don't kick yourself too hard when you need some of us to help pick you up.

Take care

[georgia girl 35]

Pamela,

No way did you discourage me don't even let the thought enter your mind. You have every right to get it off your chest and vent here. This is a great resource for us to have just for that reason alone plus so many more.

The holidays are tough for a lot of people. I understand where you are coming from on that aspect. I don't know how we even half way expect to put ourselves through the stresses we do each and every year and come ot sane. I always promise myself that I am not going to let the pressures get to me but I never live up to that promise.

I have been doing a lot of reading on here today, have been home the last two days. Yesterday I had my fill and woke up today feeling like I have the flu. SO all I have done is sit in bed reading and being a bum, but as i read i keep finding posts where you are trying to encourage or bring someone back up. I kind of think of you as the little lap band angel on here. Just remember that you are such a positive influence to alot of people, and don't kick yourself too hard when you need some of us to help pick you up.

Take care

Thanks Jeannie. I'm sorry you're feeling bad, hope you get over it soon. My husband just got over a stomach virus and I feel a little uneasy today too. I hope I don't get it. Thanks for all the encouragement. You're so sweet for saying all the kind words. Thanks again.

Ghost, I just saw your new avatar.........I love it.