I hate fat people!!!

[Cloeymn36 0]

Oh wow. I'm reading these posts and squirming considerably which means that they are hitting home BIGTIME! Yes folks, even therapists are uncomfortable with our OWN feelings.

Often when seeing a very overweight person I have sympathy. Then I became more overweight (going from mildly to moderately to morbidly) and that feeling turned into empathy (boy do I know what YOUR going through kind of thing). Generally I have a soft spot for all people who struggle and wear it on the outside because I guess I know that it what I show to the world.

The thing is.....and I know that this isn't necessarily right for me to feel....I always cringe when I see an overweight person in clothes that don't fit, poor hygiene, disregard for what they're presenting to the world. I'm embarrassed for them. And, I suppose, ashamed. No matter my size, I always make a point of dressing well, putting on "the face" and in my way saying to the world, "Yep, I'm overweight but I STILL can look good". I guess when others don't it makes me mad because I assume that they will be perceived as "a fat slob" and I don't want that stereotype to take over because then I have to fight it personally.

Wow, shallow huh?

[vinesqueen 2]

Bumping because I think it relates to several current thread, "Star Jones" and another one about anger over WLS

[HeatherGurl 0]

I don't even think I can type everything I want to say after reading all 7 pages of posts... This thread has made me realize what a horrible person I am and how horrible my friends are!!!

I have ALWAYS been fat, never have I been normal... but I always judge people by their looks. I know that it is because of my own insecurities, but I just hate it!

Like, when I see a skinny girl, with a great body... I say" Yeah, she might be skinny, but she is UGLY, and I am fat a prettier than her". That is just horrible. I get embarassed to go anywhere with my aunt who I am sure is close to 600lbs and I always trash talk her to others because she doesn't do anything about it. I get embarassed when I got out in public with my 400lb sister, and that is just wrong.

I wonder how many people have been embarassed by me! At my fattest I was 365 pounds!!! That is so unreal for me to say... and I still thought I was better than everyone. How did I get this mentality? Where did this come from?

I do not HATE fat people, but it grosses me out when I see a fat person who doesn't dress as good as they could or doesn't wear make-up! It drives me nuts!

I am going to work on becoming a better person starting right now!!!

[sarabride2006 0]

I do not HATE fat people, but it grosses me out when I see a fat person who doesn't dress as good as they could or doesn't wear make-up! It drives me nuts!

Heathergurl, does it bother you when thin people do not wear make up or dress as good as they should? By what standards do you judge "not as good as they should" or "wearing enough make up?" Quite often I see a lot of "thinner" women in the mall with no make up, jeans and their hair in Buns. I do not understand the difference. Does being overweight make it necessary to over compensate by making sure you're always made up to leave the house? For some reason, that statement truly bothers me because it gives into the idea that you have to artifically make up for a physical flaw. I personally see people of all races, sizes and ages not living up the "what's acceptable" fashion wise and elsewise. It doesn't make me like them any less or judge them anymore.

I'm guilty of not wearing make up on the weekends and often stop by the store or run errands after hitting the gym, in my not so great gym clothes as I'm leaving my business suit at home for the weekdays. One of my favorite work out shirts has a huge stain on it. I could care less--I'm not in a fashion contest as I work out to achieve my personal goals, and I seriously won't go home to change and put on make up if I need to make a stop after the gym. More over, the public doesn't sign my paycheck, pay my house note nor my car note. They do not put me through graduate school.

My dad weighs over 400 lbs and I could care less what people think of him, me, my sister, etc when we're out. The only time I'd ever say a family member is an embarassment if when they were to blow me off. I'm proud to have a father who is alive and loves me, regardless of his size.

It's funny how people in general, as one poster said, compare themselves by stating "well at least i'm not as....." It's a way we make ourselves feel better.

I've always said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There's someone to love everyone. Regardless of weight, we should be proud of who we are and those who love us.

I commend you on your goal to become a better person. Everyday I try to do something to make me a better person--- truthfully, until we stop "judging" our own (and I use that term loosely) the world will always see overweight people in the same way. If we're in on the judging matches with thin people, imagine how much easier we make it when they judge overweight people on their own. Just my two cents...

[vinesqueen 2]

hmmm, interesting. I almost never ever wear make-up. I do wear a lot of eye make-up and lipstick when I'm dancing, but that's different, it's part of my costume.

I'm currently living in the land of the big hair, the land of the made up women. Hmm, interesting word choice. When my son came to visit me in the fall, he was astounded at the amount of make-up women wear here.

[FuelMan 2]

I truly love this thread. I did write something a week or so ago, and just forgot about it. Well, now that it's been bumped up again, and I have read the added comments, MAN, do I feel uncomfortable. I don't know anyone who was fatter then me, maybe I might have seen someone, but I never knew if the person was fatter then me or not. I still don't have that....eye for judging who is fatter then me, and who is not. To tell the truth, I was eating in the Olive Garden, in Ocala the other day, and this really fat guy sat near me. I could not hear what anyone else at the table was say'in because I was to busy watch'in this fat guy. I was so uncomfortable, I mean this was just Sunday evening. I wanted him to move, or I wanted to move myself, but, was afraid to get up that someone might judge me with this other fat guy.

At first when I moved to Florida's central west coast, it was great that there are so many really fat people, it's like I was not alone. In New York ( The North Shore of Long Island to be more to the point. The Gold Coast, Yuppie Heaven) there was not too many fat people. It's like when you saw another fatty you wanted to run up and say Hello (well........ maybe not run, but walk quickly). I was like 600 lbs. and I was scared S___Less to go to my kid's school, or to the mall, or to a public place for fear of being made fun of, or some little kids making fun of me. I mean, this had to be so hard for my family, and friends, mostly my kid's. I was forever making sure I was in a safe place. When we had to go out for dinner, I would have to check the chairs before hand, to make sure they would hold me. It was very hard, and very humiliating being that fat. You would think I would have some compassion for other fatty's.......... NO WAY, I truly HATE them.

They say, you only hate in others what you hate in yourself. Well... I hate being fat. I have hated it forever. I thought being fat was my whole problem, if I was just skinny, everything would be great......... Well, that ain't quite SO. When I first lost some tonnage, like almost 400 lbs. and was 235, and plenty buff. I thought all my problems should be gone, right???? NOT....... I ended up sitting in my driveway with a 38 revolver in my month. Something wrong with this picture??? Dam right. Being fat was not my problem, it was the effect of my problem. I have to dig around in my past and figure out why I found so much comfort in food. Of course, while doing that I was, back on my way to the size 68 pants & 7X shirts (good thing I did not give them away). All this time I was still trying to lost weight and keep it under some kind of control. Now, the Lap-Ban, and whole cow......... I am finely ready to lose some weight. I have lost some 200 lbs. and still looking at more weight loss. I am an enlighten fat person, and know my limitation's, and I know how I look and I am not afraid to call myself fat or take a good honest look at ME. I still however....... Have this aversion to other fat people. I am embarrassed for them. I guess I am embarrassed for myself as well. OH, what craziness, I wish I could have talked to this other fat guy the other night, but it would have been too embarrassing. We should have a......... FAT AWARENESS DAY. Where all fat people can come together and talk about being FAT. What do you think?????? I guess we ain't all that enlighten?????

Butch

[showboatgirl 0]

At my heaviest, I knew that I didn't look good, but I tried to look neat. I jokingly said that fat plumps out wrinkles. But since i have lost 53 pounds, I look at myself in the mirror and realize that I really look good. I am amazed at the change in 5 months. I love it! I look at obese people now and feel pity for them.

[HarleyNana 10]

I don't feel pity or sorry for people heavier than me, I just wish I could tap them on the shoulder and share my lapband experience with them and maybe it would lighten their load. We all have to take our own steps to help ourselves.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

This is an interesting thread. When I was deciding whether or not to have the surgery I was in a debate with my husband. I mentioned that I hate fat people, and that I hate having fat friends. He was astonished, and asked why. I didn't know, but I started focusing on those feelings and tearing them apart to see what lived inside. What I found was that I did not hate the people. The people were usually the nicest people in the world. I hated that whenever I went into a bar or club I would see them...and I would have this feeling that that was the clique I belonged in. That I would not belong in any other group. And that people would think that I belonged there and no where else. And what really killed was I would often be the fattest person in the group.

So I created this resentment towards fat people. I remember looking at a fat person and asking my husband "Am I as fat as her/him?" He would never answer, till recently. Then it would be heartbreaking to hear him say, "honey, you are bigger than her/him" The resentment would grow larger.

Today I struggle to make myself look as nice as possible, but I still rarely go out. When I do I fuss to the point of tears trying to look good. Clothes don't fit right, but I can get my hair and makeup to look perfect. I know I will resent fat people until I lose the weight. And it isn't the person. It is the reflection of my own failures and sadness.

So there is my $0.02.

Amy

[Dody 0]

Has anyone ever seen TV's Vanessa Manillo (a beautiful, thin woman) dress up in her "fat suit" and go out in public. She showed everyone how differently she was treated as a heavy person compared to when she looked as she normally does. She would ask directions on the st. and people would not even stop (although many people stopped to turn and look at her and laugh); she got no respect; people were unkind and it was about a preconceived notion that she was fat and they found her disgusting and unattractive. The next day she went back to the same spots looking like herself and men in particular broke their necks trying to give her directions and come onto her. People were still glancing her way but they were no ogleing her. There is a definite bias in society to "fat" people, and some of the people making fun of her were very fat themselves.

It was an interesting show and made me realize that life is very different for the average person than the heavy person.

[Nykee 13]

I dont like fat people. I mean I dont like to look or touch them...

It bothers me.. I cant look and touch myself and any time a date was even 25 pounds over the norm, it wasnt 'fun' to touch them.

My sister is fat, my mom is fat, I love them.. my kids have gotton chubby and I loved them but I looked at them in discust (I really tried not to show it)

I am sorry i feel this way.

I mean its not as bad as I describe it above I guess...

I have looked at pictures of people here and I dont think "op gross" or anything like that..

I am as gross as they come.. and while I do get made up to go out socially.. (dates, friends) I do not to go run erronds or such and MNAY MANY times I am that fat discusting unkept ugly discusting eyesore..

I make sure I match, my fat is contained in clothes and I dont smell and thats about it.. as far as always..

I just feel so fat and nasty and so why bother?

and when i do get made up, I feel like a joke anyway.

I am not saying I think I am right to feel this way.. I am not.

And its not that I dont have compassion.. I DO, I SO DO!!!!

I just dont like looking at it.. its been the bain of my existance, so I try not to feel too guilty..

Oh plus, anyone who tells me they dont judge,.. I DONT beelive and when they proove it.. I think they are just crazy.

But reading through here,. I really should beleive them.,. everyone isnt a shallow witch about fat like me..

[Kelliebelly 13]

I dont hate fat people, but I can relate to the posters that would compare themselves with other large people. I really could never see how big I was until I have lost some weight and look back at pics. I mean I knew I was big and I really didnt like myself at all...but I just didnt realise how big. Alot of my thoughts revolved around size to...for example Dh would say one of his workmates invited us over for a BBQ, I would be like is she fat? If the answer was yes I would go, if it was no...I wouldnt. I was in my comfort zone with bigger people.

As for makeup...before losing any of this weight my clothes cupboard consisted of plenty of baggy pants and shirts all black...the slimming colour. I didnt dress up and I didnt wear make up, I didnt htink there was a point to it.

So all in all I can understand what some people are saying...but I dont hate fat people ...I actually see myself in them and compare...

[Nykee 13]

I always think I am bigger.. EVERytime I insist I am a certian size (comparing it to someone I see on tv or in life) everyone says "NO YOU ARE NOT" and they mean it, sometimes I have learned these people are 500 or 550 pounds and so I dont know why I think I look that big..

But really, whats the diff between 415 and 515? lol

I mean alot to me... but to the outside world I am sure we look the same.

[Kryssa 1]

First of all: thank you Crystal for bumping this thread. I'd never seen it before and I really really needed to.

does it bother you when thin people do not wear make up or dress as good as they should? By what standards do you judge "not as good as they should" or "wearing enough make up?" Quite often I see a lot of "thinner" women in the mall with no make up, jeans and their hair in Buns. I do not understand the difference. Does being overweight make it necessary to over compensate by making sure you're always made up to leave the house?

Ahhh. That is definately my problem. :cake: I am not disgusted by fat people who make an effort to look nice...but I have made some really nasty comments about slobs. I DO believe that if you are fat you need to try harder. It's not really about OVER-compensating as such, but making an effort to minimize how badly people treat you. People don't look at fat people the same way they do everyone else. Believe me, I know, I've been fat my entire life. The only time in my life when I didn't do my hair and makeup before leaving the house was while I was with my ex-husband who weighed 350 lbs. I felt as though nothing I did was going to change the fact that people were looking at "the fat couple" and snickering. But I literally bought 2 eyeliners the very same day he walked out on me. Sick, huh? My new hubby is only 185 lbs. and sometimes I think people wonder why he is with me.

My prayer to God, the one I pray every day, is just to be normal. For people not to make rude comments as I walk down the street. For my children not to be embarrassed of me. To be able to go to Disney and not to have to sit down every few minutes.:think This is why I had the band...and it is what I wish for all fat people. To be able to feel acceptable as you are.

[HeatherGurl 0]

To those who were "bothered" by my make up comment...

I guess I should have been more specific... It does bother me when women do not take care of themselves... period. We were talking about large women so I made that comment. There are some woman who are beautiful without any makeup at all... (Vinesqueen, you said you didn't wear much and obviously you don't need to. You look very beautiful in your avator)

BUT, my point is I have met so many women who have commented on how I always have nice clothes and my make up looks nice and they bitch because they don't look that way... It is not hard or expensive for any woman of any shape or size to take care of themselves. I beam with pride with I see a large woman dressed nicely with her hair fixed nicely and her make up (if any needed) looks nice...

HELLO!!! We are fat!!! We are drawing attention to ourselves by being this overweight, why not look half assed decent???

Once again... if this comment bothered you, maybe you long to wear makeup? I don't know. If you are comfortable with the way you look then you shouldn't think twice about my OPINION. Just my opinion on the way I feel about things since this is what the thread was about... hating or being disgusted with fat people.

I didn't want to hurt or step on any toes, I hope that I better explained myself.

Yes, slobs that don't take care of themselves disgust me... any shape size, color, age, whatever.