I hate fat people!!!

[Marimaru 7]

I hated fat people the most while I was in denial. When I got to a size 14, my brain paused and didn't see me getting any bigger. Yeah, I could lose a few pounds, but I'm not too bad. Jump to size 24, and here I am thinking about weight loss surgery?! When did I get fat?!?! Now having been banded a year, I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I'd spent a good 6 months before getting banded (before I knew about the band) comparing myself to people and REALLY taking in their size and comparing it to my size. Realizing just how big I was compared to the people around me. Now I'm having trouble with the idea that I am smaller than some of them now, I'm having trouble NOT feeling huge (still big, not QUITE so big).

I went to a party last Saturday, and an old friend of mine was there from highschool. We got into a conversation about an online 'community' called myspace (public profiles, blogs, etc) and how some of the people on there were really screwy. She said "I may be fat, but I don't have a boyfriend who beats me, I'm not pregnant unexpectedly and all that stuff. Now if the doctors could just figure out why I'm fat, I'd be set" She went a little further to say that they didn't think she was eating as little as she said she was, and she just wasn't losing, etc etc. I was just about the use the opportunity to tell her I'd had surgery when we were interupted, but I found myself doubting her claims. "You don't weight that much eating so little as that." etc etc. Wondering if she was in some sort of denial about the amount she really ate or whatever. What do I know? I have no idea whether or not she has some yet-undiscovered health issue, or anything like that. I hate judging people, and I HATE catching myself judging people... and it would be a fat person that I did that to, wouldn't it? Sheesh.

I've been terribly afraid of becoming one of those "skinny bitches". Not that I think I'll get "skinny" by any means, but just being thinner and having that mind set. I don't know how to avoid it, but I really don't want it. Anyhow, more for the thought process on this one.

[La_madam 20]

One thing I have to consciously decide NOT to do is run up to every fat person and tell them about this band... I want to share with them because I think they of all people will understand and maybe find some hope for themselves. But then I realize - if someone had done that to me preband it would have reinforced the shame and self loathing.... I would have been mortified.

But if a fat person asks..will you tell?

I work in a very public setting, I own a restaraunt and Iam around people all the time..I have alot of regular customers most of them are overweight.They have watched my progress over the last 16 months When they ask how I lost my weight....I tell and I get very excited when telling.. and by doing so I have sent 5 of my customers to Dr. Ortiz for the surgery.

[ReneBean 3]

I swear - if I ever get a band and start losing weight - I am going to have a T-shirt made that says:

"Former Fat Chick in Progress.

Ask me about Lap-Band surgery."

Then, anybody who sees me will get the choice to ask or run the other way.

:]

[NJChick 3]

I swear - if I ever get a band and start losing weight - I am going to have a T-shirt made that says:

"Former Fat Chick in Progress.

Ask me about Lap-Band surgery."

Then, anybody who sees me will get the choice to ask or run the other way.

:]

Beanie ROFLMFFFFAO !!!! Well then, you better have TWO tee shirts made up, one for you and one for me

[glassarttist 0]

Actually I was thinking of getting buttons made with something like that on them, to wear afterwards.

[Guest Etta]

Tony,

Thank you first of all, I thought that I was the only one who thought like this. And I do think you are right about the fact that the image society puts forth of what a fat person is shapes out ideas of how we see other fat people. The truth is that inside we all are "skinny" people, and when you are looking at another fat person you aren't just looking at them you are looking at yourself. When I have those breif thoughts I think to myself "Who are you to judge?" But is it really something that we can help? I don't think so.

My new thing about me is that I am ashamed for my friends. I don't like to go out with them anywhere because I don't want them to be seen with a fat person. WOW that is the first time I admited that! But it is true, for example my best friend lives in Detroit and I live in Jackson about a 2 hour drive from here. So we don't get to see each other that often. This weekend was her niece's birthday party and I did not want to go. One because it was her family and not mine. And two because I don't want her family looking at me like a freak of nature. Now they have all seen me before and I have not changed much since I have last seen them but you can't help but feel this way.

I am not saying that these feelings are right but I do think they are unavoidable. Maybe once I lose weight I will feel different but even then will those thoughts go away?....Royetta

[NJChick 3]

Beanie ROFLMFFFFAO !!!! Well then, you better have TWO tee shirts made up, one for you and one for me

In the time I posted this, I thought I would want to tell people but since, I have done some serious thinking and I have changed my mind (for now).

I'm going to keep this to myself unless I feel I can trust the person, even then I will give it much consideration before I say something.

[the best me 6]

Bumping for Vines. I found it!!! It's a good one.

[CandySmooch 0]

Funny this post should pop back up.

The other day my boyfriend and I were driving down the highway when all of a sudden there was this large lady walking on the side of the road and my boyfriend said dammmnnnn double points if you hit that one and we both shared a really good laugh, then he got very sullen and apologized immediately and said he shouldn't say that because if anyone ever said that about me he'd be angry and would kick their ass.

I got very solemn then too. It didn't dawn on me to take offense at his first joke until he got solemn and said the second part - then I realized I was about the same size as that unknown lady and probably should have taken offense to what he said the first time - but for some reason I always laugh at a good fat joke. Why? Because I am one? Because I pretend the fat jokes are aimed at all other fat people and except me? I don't know. It just made me think twice. It was wrong regardless.

But I do compare myself to other fat girls - I always think am I bigger than her? Do I look like that? Well at least I'm smaller than her.....etc etc.

[Kelliebelly 13]

I think the same way...where ever I go whatever I do...constantly comparing. Am I as fat as that person, is my butt as big as that. The list goes on and on. I will compare how much room someone has left in their chair to how much I have left so I can work out if my thighs are bigger than that person or not. Weird I know!!!

After this thread at least we all know if we meet what the other is thinking haha jk

[FuelMan 2]

I to think the same way, BUT........There is no way for me to know who is fatter? I have to ask my wife or one of my girls, "Is that guy fatter them ME??? Most of the time they say he is not fatter but, it's a different kind of fat. Where mine is a big belly that hangs down in front and goes around the back. My legs, sholders, and neck is kind of normal. Or at least it is now that I lost half the weight I want to. Before I was just fat all over. I think I even got shorter, I tell people I lost fat on the bottom of my feet, that's why I am shorted. And even when I was my fattest, I never saw myself as fat. Except in PIC's or in a large window with a lot of other people around, then I saw just how big I was. Ain't it funny that image is not in my head when I want to eat?

But....... to be total honest, I am offended at fat people, you know you project out what you hate in yourself. Since moving to Florida there are so many more fat people down here, you see them everywhere, in the gas station, supermarket, shopping mall, everywhere. On Long Island I was luck to see 2 or 3 fat people all day, and people would say shit to you or kids would say stuff, but not down here...... there just too many fat people. Funny Huh????

Butch

[TommyO 5]

Before I go on I must admit that I have not read all of the posts in this thread so If I what I am about to write has already been written I apologize but this is a topic that I have strong opinions about.

First let me start by saying one of my greatest beliefs is that the only person you can truly affect change with is yourself. This and a strong belief that everyone, no matter their religion, colour, sexual preference, size and anything else that makes us different deserves to be treated equally with the same respect that I would expect to be treated myself.

If you choose (and I believe that this is a choice) to feel negatively about an individual that you do not know based on appearances than it is you that has a problem not them. One of the reasons people judge other people who they do not know is a caused by fear and shame of their own shortcomings.

Before you can forgive people for their differences you must forgive yourself, this may seem easy but it is often not. The best place to start is to remember that, as stated earlier, the only person you can truly affect change with is yourself.

So go ahead and forgive yourself for being flawed and remind yourself that you are doing this because you want to be healthier not because being fat makes you a bad person. Once you forgive yourself you will then be able to forgive us.

[Guest ASPHALT ANGEL]

I don't hate fat people but some of them really make me mad and some of them I really feel so bad for. I have been overweight for the past 9 years. I was thin all through school and when I got pregnant with my first child I got toxemia and really put on the pounds..gained 104 to be exact. I have always been very active, even being fat. And what bothers me is when I see people that are big and they are using the riding carts in the stores. Now I know that some of them really need them but I have seen two of them in paticular in my town that do not need them and they use them. Makes me always think that you would not be that fat if you got out of that chair and walked a bit. I also know people that go to the all you can eat buffet and will sit there for hours just eating and eating. I find myself disgusted and want to tell them enough already.

I was in denial about my actual size until about a year ago, because I am so active that I honestly thought I can't be "that" fat because I can still run and play with my kids and go hiking and so I can't be fat..........well I was fat I just carried it very well, as my doctor says.

[psichikel 0]

I guess we are like former Alcoholic's, if you've ever been around them you will know what I mean. They are fanatical because they know the hell they have been through, and if by being overt about alcoholism can possible help someone realize they have a problem,then they feel it's a victory. I think when we've "crossed over" from MO to normal by the lapband or other WLS we want to spare others the pain we went through and sometimes it just comes out the wrong way, not meaning to Hurt that person but wanting them to know that it can be done....but how many have the opportunity to get the WLS, some may never be able to afford or because of other medical problems be qualified...therefore, exercise in caution before we act is what is needed. I too, share this same problem as everyone else. I just had a photo taken of me and I was disgusted at the sight of myself, the camera NEVER LIES!!!! I think we start looking at ourselves from the neck up, forgetting how we look. I can honestly say, I dont remember a time I really looked at the full mirror and when I do I about die! It's easy to "fog" the image of ourselves, to forget we too are that big and that others look at us as we look at others. I am having my surgery in Jan, and I will be taking photos of myself in different outfits, with friends/family to make a book to never forget. Although, I hope to lose enough weight to become healthy, I will always be MO in my mind...too many years of being obese is up in there stored away, but I will take that mindset and focus on helping others reach their goal whether through WLS or diet and exercise. Try being on a campus where you are 1 of 20 MO people, on the ENTIRE CAMPUS!!!! It's a real eye opener! I along with some friends look to reviving a group on campus that has WLS patients, but I also want to invite those wanting to lose weight without surgery...I feel if nothing else we can share compassion towards each other's plight! I think the best thing to help people is to let them know you are in the same boat with them, and when they get tired of rowing you'll be there to lend a hand. I never want to forget who I was prior to the surgery, that I have struggled against many obstacles...too many to begin, but it's who I am inside that counts weight loss or no weight loss. I hate my weight but not myself!

[Victoriana 10]

Growing up I had a very happy chhildhood with over 100 cousins, Lots of fat aunties that were the best cooks.. I loved thier hugs, so tight and squishy, no fear of fat for me. I love those memories and the Aunties always wanted us to sit down and eat, more and more! To them fat children were a sign of wealth, as they grew up in starvation. Well fast forward to adulthood, 3 pregnancies that never resulted in weight loss of any kind, adding 130lbs to a healthy 150. and then life happened, great stress, eating only once a day out of business and not realizing that stretching of the stomach was happening. I was content with my self image, in management in a highly visible position and I took care of my " "appearance" ie, make up, clothing and hair, even manicures and cologne (gag). After retiring I was free to graze and do lunches and go to events and pta and gobble gobble. Then the back aches, sore feet, heart problems, migrains, no sleep, hip pains and then I woke up. I did this to my self not realizing that over time my lack of concern about wieght hurt only me. Never mind that I was in rebellion about societies view of obesity, after all fat people were safe, happy, non threatening and very real,genuine. no pretenses. But I was hurting now realizing that being healthy was different than being thin. There are some very ill skinnies out there. How could denial be so much a part of who I am?

So the revelation that I was out of controll, and spiraling downward and dispising what I became.

I too started hate the demon that plagues the mind trying to confuse fat with wrong, Fat with bad, fat with weakness and self indulgence. But what I hate more is hate.

I didnt want to hate myself. That would be the last straw. then I learned of the lap band, I could never see myself with stapling or bypassing, but this seem to be just right. I wondered if it was to good to be true. Was I just getting decieved again in false hope? This board comfirmed otherwise. So for about a year I became keenly aware of how my ideas of fat, yes largeness, obesity became mixed with ugliness. I refused to let my mind stay there. The battle field is the mind. I truly believe that. I am now preparing myself for sucess. I envision myself as healthy not skinny. Free from sore feet, backaches, lethargy and heart diseased. Free to live as long as I can with my precious family and friends. and I am so very gratefull.