Scared?

[Mac the Knife 1]

I was just driving home yesterday after eating a LARGE supper and thought can I really do this?

I did this exact thing last night: ate a large meal even by my own standards, then wondered, "How in the hell am I going to do stop doing this?"

I'm not backing out by any means, but I am beginning to question whether or not I'm properly mentally prepared for the change my life is about to undertake.

[marathinner 1]

I for one can say that this forum is EXTREMELY helpful in dealing with these issues just by the simple fact that we are writing about. Being open, honest and exposing our vulenerabilities is a big step. Hell...just starting this thread and entitling it "scared" is a big step. For me to even disclose my weight in a public forum albeit a weight loss forum is monumental. I have felt empowered by the fact that I can openly discuss the demons that haunt me and why I got this way with those going through the same thing. Yes, we have our work cut out for us and we must stop our STINKIN' THINKIN', but I think coming to LBT and being willing to lay it all it there is a pretty powerful thing. As long as we can be honest with ourselves and each other as we progress as a support group, we can take each other to places we never thought possible....for instance FREEDOM for the prison of weight and food!! We are strong and we CAN do this!!

[bonniep 0]

Well, here I am on a positive note, even though like everyone else who hasn't been banded yet, I have my doubtful times too.

I'm being banded on 2/4 and I'm not scared of the surgery -- I'm scared of what happens afterward. I question whether I can do an all clear diet for a week and then, two weeks of mushies. But YES, I can do it, even though it won't be easy. It's time I took full responsibility, mentally, for my actions.

I guess the way we stop eating BIG meals is to get banded. Everyone who's banded says they stop eating LARGE. So, it's worth it, isn't it?

b.

[marathinner 1]

Bonnie...

Are you on a pre-op diet? My doc has me on 3 shakes a day and one small and healthy meal. It was SO hard the first couple of days, but today I feel better and have stuck to it to a TEE. It's like the transformation is already starting. I think we all fear that the habits that have dictated us for so long will rear their ugly head, and perhaps those demons never go away. But I believe by making a decision to be banded is also a committment to conquering those demons.

Stay positive....YOU are doing it!! WE are doing it and together we can get through it!! Oh...and when you're having a bad day, you can come on here and drop some f-bombs and we'll all be here for you!! :rolleyes2:

Amy

[EnchantedRuby 0]

Of course I'm scared .. this is life changing ... I'm scared that I would want to eat even when I know I can't... s**t I'm sitting here typing this on the 2nd day of my 2 week pre-op diet and all I want to do is go to the fridge and stuff my face with all the left over food in there!!..

I can't fail.. I would hate to disappoint myself and my hubby! we've invest so much into this not just financially (copay's non-covered services etc.) but also emotionally. We've only been married 2 years. We are very much in-love and want to spend the rest of BOTH our lives together. He says he would be lost if something was to happen to me. So this is not just for me and soon to be 17yr son, who I want to see become a man marry and have children who grow up and have kids of their own, but for my wonderful, loving, kind and amazing Hubby!

Thank you to everyone this forum is a major life savor..

[bonniep 0]

Hi Amy,

I'm not on a pre-op diet, no. My doctor asked that I lose 10-12 lbs. before surgery and I've done that. Once I hit the 10 lb. mark, I was approved and scheduled. I'm having my surgery a week from today!

Let's stay here and stay focused and let's write -- all of us! I think that writing to one another and posting here is only a good thing and it can only help us for the long term.

I'm running out to Trader Joe's now. I'm going to get chicken and veggie broth for next week, after surgery and I'm going to get some Protein powder while I'm there too. I'll also get some of their mushie Soups -- they look good and will help me during the two weeks of mushies. My doctor asks for a week of liquids after surgery and then, two weeks of mushies.

Bonnie

[bluelion 0]

When i saw this thread's title I thought you meant scared by the surgery, but scared of not succeeding this time is probably the most common fear of all of us.

All of us have experience highs and lows that on average over the years seem to increase, I'm sure I could easily lose 10lbs in a week if I wanted to, but what good does that do? (I'm almost 330lbs).

[bonniep 0]

The reason you can lose 10 lbs. in a week is because you're a guy! Life is SO unfair! As a 54 year old woman, I'd give anything to be able to lose 3 lbs. in a week. I'm hoping after the surgery, which I'm having on Monday, 2 lbs. a week will be the norm. I can live just fine with that. That said, I'm jealous of the advantage men have when it comes to losing weight -- whine, whine, whine... :frown:

Back to the original topic -- scared of failure. That's the crux, isn't it? I'm so scared this is going to be just one more failure in a long list them and yet, I'm also optimistic that maybe, just maybe, this will help me kick start my thinking into doing what I need to do in order to get my body back.

b.

[peabody 0]

Hi gals...

Isn't it great to have this support system!! Oh god....I'm so scared!! And yes....I think it's fear of failure not fear of the surgery. I've had plenty of surgeries in my time. Bonnie....you have every right to NOT tell people of the surgery. I have told a SELECT few....people that I can count on to support me, not be judgemental, and help me if needed. God bless my hubby who is soooo supportive and awesome. But mostly...god bless this group!! I'm getting banded on 2/5 (Fat Tuesday) and started my pre-op diet yesterday. It's basically 3 shakes on one low carb meal a day for two weeks. Since doing my marathon in October I haven't done a LICK of exercise. Going to the gym tonight and ready to come full circle with this committment and process. I think we are all brave and courageous for taking this step and making this all important committment to our health. We can do it girls!!!

Amy

hey amy,

i'm a victorious valentine as well...surgery date feb 6....i've taken an opposite approach. i'm tellin lots of people about my surgery to help with accountability....but there were some that i think may be naysayers...they didn't get told a thing....what ever works for ya

boundaries are so improtant to set and maintain....Great book called The Dance of Anger talks about that...in all relationships.

i've done some really good therapy in my journey, and have benefitted immensely from it. so for sure get you some therapy honey.....i may need a refresher course on the old therapy stuff especially when i get into my smaller body, because it's been awhile, and i don't want to sabotage my lifestyle choices by being fearful of bein smaller (sexier to wolfwhistlers etc)

when i was younger and in my smaller body wolfwhistles would make me feel angry or uncomfortable. i'm gonna be watching for any sabotaging out of that fear

we've all got our stuff and we've all got each other.

Amanda

ps where and how do i get one of those cool victorius valentines signs

[travel_anna 1]

Amanda -

There is a thread called Victorious Valentines Blinkie where you can get it.

Only, I have no idea how to get it from that thread onto the signature.

Ask someone on that forum.

Anna