fears before surgery - I need help support & advice!

[Scarlett O'hara 0]

Hi all,

I need help. I have been visiting my general Dr. for the last 6 months to cover insurance requirements. Well, my 6th visit is over & I am starting to freak out and my mind is letting me wander into backing out.

I have to do this ! I know if I don't I am doomed to be overweight forever. My friends mother is extremely obese, 60 years old & now lives in a nursing home because her body no longer functions because of the weight. That will be me in 20 years. I am killing my self with food.< /p>

I have terrible rhumetoid arthritis in my knees and the weight is not helping me move.

I have 2 kids under 5 who I do not want to pass my eating issues on to. I need to break this cycle.

I am afraid I will die during the surgery.

I am afraid I cannot follow the eating restrictions.

I am afraid of my life changing (even though it sucks right now).

I am afraid I will die if I keep eating like this.

I am afraid I will back out at the last second.

Anyone else go through something like this? Any tips on how to get over it?

[reif78 0]

hello

yes your thoughts of this surgery and so forth are normal.

i have been over weight all my life to. but i just took that risk i have been banded for three weeks now and i feel great. you can do it. chin up get a positive attitude. just say to your self every day you look in a mirror and say i can do it. think of how much healthier and how much energy you will have once the weight comes off. you will not die during surgery your doctor will make sure of that. thats why you have to do some of the requirements before surgery. to make sure youll go through the surgery alright. you doctor wouldnt let you go through it if he thought there was a risk to your life . its ok to have fears about things.

but i would take that risk it is worth it. and yes i often thought of whether or not my attitude would change after the weight loss maybe it will. but you are who you are skinny or fat. but i feel so much better since doing it. youll love it.

[karyno 0]

Hi

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have 3 small children and just got back from Mexico where I was banded by Dr. Rumbaut on 12/18/07. I had never had surgery before, so was worried about that but it was nothing to be afraid of. I am a nursing student so I knew what to expect and I came out of it with flying colours. I'm dealing with the eating restrictions, which are stricter during the first few weeks than they will be long term. I was definitely afraid to do it, but I realized that I was MORE afraid to NOT do it. Does that make sense? I think it's REALLY important to have a doctor you trust and to have the support of your family and friends. But only you can know in your heart what is best for you. I wish you peace about your decision.

Karyn

[jtag10_4 2]

Of course! I think it's normal, your about ready to jump off into something totally unknown - all these fears came up when I got insurance approval (of all times) I was excited but then I was thinking that maybe I was making the wrong choice....

The things I thought about were

1) I've been fat for 10 years, I haven't been able to do stick to anything to truly manage it successfully

2) I see my extended family and how unhappy and unhealthy they are - and I want to change, I would never want this life for my kids (don't have any yet)

3) It was either choose life (lapband) or death (slowly and painfully eating myself away) - I chose LIFE - probably the most courageous thing I have done! I read on this board over and over again "It is the best decision I have ever made" - I have taken a leap of faith I am going to be saying those words too!

4) I had to really give into the fact that I don't know what I am doing when it comes to food...it has been very humbling but I am ready to LISTEN to professionals and follow those bandster rules 100%! Esp if it means I could run, ride my bike, have energy, put my shoes on anywhere in the house, put a drink between my legs in the car, and FEEL GOOD everyday!!

Good luck!

[racetrackweary 0]

Rowshan -

OMG! I read your post and thought - "That's me. That's exactly what's been going through my mind since I got my surgery date."

In fact, last night I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and almost talked myself out of the surgery. (Surgery in 4 days!)

However - I had to tell myself, this surgery is what I need to take care of myself. I will be healthier and happier after the surgery. I also have a young child (6 year old) and I want to be able to run and play with him before he grows up and is gone! I want him to have fond memories of me - not memories of me sitting watching him run and play. Re-affirm your committment to the band - stay strong! This forum is very encouraging - if you have fears realize that everyone who has been banded have also had the same fears. You are normal - be strong!

Good luck!

RTW

[Scarlett O'hara 0]

Thanks, that is the kind of things I need to hear! I am not getting alot of encouragement here at home. My DH seems indifferent (maybe he's scared too) and my Mom says 'I don't know if you can do it" (what a bi-ch). My Dad is blessed with never having a weight issue, so he does not get it.

Yesterday I was at kmart and 2 young girls laughed at me as I walked by (fat & walk awfully b/c of arthritis). I want to cry.

over Christmas I kept saying to my self, last fat x-mas.

My Dr. promises me I won't die, but that still remains my biggest fear--but all your replys help so very much! You are all right & very brave !

Kelly

39 yrs old, weight 260+

never remember weighing less than 190

[LaLee 0]

I have just begun the pre op process........I too am scared that I will die on the table. But I am eating myself to death. I wll not be fat 4 ever. This is the c=best tool. I have tried so many. My hubby is very supportive. He like me big but I do not. He want me to be healthy!!

[Coco 0]

Thanks, that is the kind of things I need to hear! I am not getting alot of encouragement here at home. My DH seems indifferent (maybe he's scared too) and my Mom says 'I don't know if you can do it" (what a bi-ch). My Dad is blessed with never having a weight issue, so he does not get it.

Yesterday I was at kmart and 2 young girls laughed at me as I walked by (fat & walk awfully b/c of arthritis). I want to cry.

over Christmas I kept saying to my self, last fat x-mas.

My Dr. promises me I won't die, but that still remains my biggest fear--but all your replys help so very much! You are all right & very brave !

Kelly

39 yrs old, weight 260+

never remember weighing less than 190

Hi Kelly,

I've been banded since Jan. 3rd 2007 almost a year now and I can tell you its the best thing I have ever done, I have 28lbs to go to get to my target weight and I would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact I did do it again last July when I was one of the 2% of people who suffer from band slippage. I skipped into that theater with a smile on my face for the surgeon to fix it. Everyone I know who has had the band done and most of the posts I've read about people gearing up to have it done have the same concerns as you. We wouldn't be normal not to worry about dying under the op. But I have to say that having the op through keyhole surgery minimises the risks considerably. In my case it was feel the fear and do it anyway. I hope that now you've decided its the op for you, you will go on to have it done and live a long and healthy life. Good luck and know that we are all wishing you well.:cheated:

[kbinaz 0]

Hi! Your feelings are very normal. The thing that made my decision to have the surgery was when I went to the informational seminar and the surgeon (who ended up doing my surgery) started her talk by saying "I know one thing for sure about every single person in this room today...none of you needs one more failure in your life." When she said that I almost cried and thought to myself, "That's it! I cannot stand one more failure!" I have failed every weight loss program I have ever tried (well, I could succeed for a few weeks...) and I thought I would rather die than fail one more time. The doctor went on to tell us that we could succeed with this surgery and I knew I was going to do it. I had surgery on October 26, 2007 and I have NO regrets. It is a slower process that with gastric bypass but I truly believe it is the right choice. I have lost 17 pounds since my surgery and feel confident I will reach my goal.

Your fears about the surgery itself are normal...I went into the operating room crying I was so scared. But here I am, and it was NOT as bad as I had imagined!!! The lap band is a wonderful tool and if you use it you can have success too!

[shortgal 5]

Most fears (while normal) are based on lack of real information and understanidng of the information.

So become educated about the band, about what happens before you have surgery, what happens during and what happens after. Much ( not all) of the fear will go away.

Fear is good, fear is normal. Fear stops us from jumping off cliffs and doing other stupid, dangerous things.

But is having surgery to help fix a chronic weigh loss problem really a stupid, dangerous thing to do. No, not if it can save your life!

If you are dying without the surgery, then doing the surgery makes sense!

[Totallytater 1]

I have never heard of anyone who wasn't afraid. Just pray and have faith.