My body is my enemy.

[Arabesque 7,507]

Many of you know my story. Was two months shy of turning 54 in 2019 when I got my sleeve. Lost all my weight & more and was successfully maintaining that low weight.

I began gaining weight from puberty: about a stone a year. Then I started my 60-75kg weight diet/regain swing from my early 20s until peri menopause & menopause hit and then seemingly overnight I was 91kg. Nothing I did moved that weight. Hence my decision to get a sleeve.

I experienced some weight regain (good 2 almost 3 kgs) almost 4 yrs ago after I had my gall removed. We worked out I had an absorption issue and wasn’t absorbing Protein well or it turned out my HRT tablet (hot flushes, etc. had returned). Switched to a patch and lost the weight without doing anything & no menopause symptoms.

Had a hysterectomy in September 2024 & then couldn’t access the HRT patch I was using (damn supply chain issues) & this is when my body turned against me again. ALL my menopausal symptoms returned: hot flushes, night sweats, poor sleep, headaches, creaky joints, acne, etc. & weight gain. Only three kgs so far but that’s in the last three months. And so here we go again. My body working against me.

Since this regain began in January (used my last HRT patch in December & was my usual weight at the end of Dec) I’ve made some modifications to my eating. Dropped a snack, reduced some portions (which were still only recommended portion size or a little less). I eat pretty carefully anyway & stick closely to my plan of eating. Was eating about 1600 calories a day and now am probably at about 1300/1400. So at the very least I should have slowed the regain but nope.

It’s scary & upsetting. I recognise it as being how my body & my hormones work (or don’t work!) but that doesn’t help. My doctor is trying to help me sort out alternative HRT but nothing is working yet as it all involves at least taking one tablet. I wish I was completely past all this hormone crap & I wish supply chain issues for pharmaceuticals were a thing of the past for everyone affected.

I so wanted to be my maintained slim self when I turned 60 in 4 months. I always have been overweight at significant birthdays. This one was going to be different. The way I’m going I’ll be a stone heavier. Not overweight but more than I want to be & have been happy at. Very sad face.

[DaisyChainOz 486]

Oh I am so sorry you are having these issues @Arabesque hormonal weight gain sucks! Those of us post menopausal have it so hard when it comes to getting the weight off, nature whats us to be chubby grandmas it seems!!! 😆

But... and not to diminish your concerns, You are still very tiny, if you are still 48.5kg as per your profile, so whilst I know it's driving you nuts, maybe try not to be too distressed about it, you look amazing still, and I am sure that the HRT issue will be sorted out before too long and your doctor and yourself will find the right combo!

Your birthday will still be amazing, and you will look stunning!

[SpartanMaker 996]

So sorry you're struggling @Arabesque! I know how frustrating it is when you go from thinking you're got weight maintenance down, to finding that no matter what you try, you can't get things under control.

You may not be looking for advice here, but as a guy it's in my nature to try to "fix" the issue. Please forgive me if I'm off base.

I may be misremembering, but I think at one point you mentioned you don't really workout. While I'd never recommend exercise as a way to lose weight, we know from a significant amount of data that it is really beneficial in helping those that have lost weight to maintain that weight loss. You may not be in love with the idea, but it might be time to consider a change?

Aside from the benefits for maintaining weight loss, we also know that cardiovascular endurance is actually a better predictor of overall health and longevity than any other single factor including obesity and smoking! This means the single best thing any of us can do for long term health is improve our cardiovascular health. In addition, we also know that regular strength training is important for several reasons, but in your case I want to point out three of them:

1. Regular strength training improves muscle mass, which is probably the single biggest way any of us can actually improve our long-term metabolism.
2. Overall strength is highly predictive of minimizing fall risk as we age. Since falls in older people can be catastrophic, it's something all older people need to keep in mind.
3. There is a significant link between strength training and bone health. As I'm assuming you already know, osteoporosis is a particular problem for post-menopausal women.

I wasn't very familiar with the Australian recommendations for physical activity, but unsurprisingly it's almost identical to the US recommendations: https://www.health.gov.au/topics/physical-activity-and-exercise/physical-activity-and-exercise-guidelines-for-all-australians/for-adults-18-to-64-years

Best of luck. I hope you get this figured out.

[ms.sss 15,757]

what @SpartanMaker said.

increases muscle mass which drives up metabolism. good for physical health and side benefit of looking hawt. AND probably the number one, oft-ignored-yet-totally-obvious, underrated, oh-so-accessible producer of positive mental health...❤️

also...what @DaisyChainOz said.

while it really doesn't matter what WE think you look like, you do look fab as ever. if u didn't see the number on the scale, would you still look pretty effing awesome in all those gorgeous clothes in your closet?

but i get it, fear of going back to our pre-wls selves is a big thing in our demographic, no matter how unlikely that is your case.

hugs.

p.s. you know what i did last week when i was feeling down and annoyed? i bought a new pair of shoes. just saying...

[SpartanMaker 996]

12 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

p.s. you know what i did last week when i was feeling down and annoyed? i bought a new pair of shoes. just saying...

Maybe a new pair if running shoes? 😉 Always works for me! 😁

[Arabesque 7,507]

Thank you @spartanmaker, @ms.sss & @DaisyChainOz. No I don’t work out as such. No gym and no running miles. Have never found any enjoyment in it at all which means I find it a struggle to do it & then I give it up. And I’ve done it all over the years. Plus I’ve been told by my retinal specialist not to do any strenuous activity which was when I gave up the 2x50 sit ups I used to do with my stretching & resistance band routines. Been doing these routines for more than two years now usually every day and even do a modified version if I’m away because I actually enjoy doing it. They include yoga moves and poses as that was the one thing I used to enjoy. Strength is pretty good. Had to buy all those new pants last year because my thighs had got larger thanks to the resistance bands & my shoulders are starting to look like I swim laps. Added a new stretch with my bands which is working on my forearms. I might end up looking like Popeye. LOL! Recently added some pulse squats to my routine as the other so called butt building things haven’t helped yet (it’s still flat and running down the back of my thighs 😁). So my metabolism should have increased at least a little over the last 2 plus years. Flexibility is good too as is bone density (had most recent scan last year). I started doing these routines because I was missing my old flexibility, to tone muscles and keep my bone density (was worried that my malabsorption may affect my Calcium absorption too). Ugh, I don’t want to HAVE to add in another activity but …. Sigh!

Actually bone density is becoming an issue for middle aged and older men too these days too @SpartanMaker. I know several men in their late 50s early 60s who have been diagnosed as having osteopena or osteoporosis. One was very surprised as he is an avid cyclist & thought himself very fit & healthy but cycling doesn’t help with bone density. He got tested after his wife, also a cyclist, was diagnosed & was worried.

PS Buying shoes and clothing always makes me feel better @ms.sss. I bought a new dress last week & yes it made me happy (another Victoria Beckham) though I had to buy a larger size which then depressed me. It’s going to be my back up dress for my niece ‘s wedding. Waaah!

PPS To add to my niece’s wedding & my 60th this year, I found out this week I have a school reunion too. Scheduling all my Botox, facial and hair appointments for the year now so I don’t look grey and wrinkled at any of them.

[learn2cook 604]

You’ve been nothing but kind and helpful to people on this forum. I’m really sorry this is happening to you. I found 50 mg of DHEA helps my menopause symptoms and hormone issues including the dreaded brain fog. Some reports say liver damage at 100 mg. My OBGYN said, “I’m glad you found something that helps!” I was 25 mg before RNY, but due to malabsorption I switched to 50 mg and my bloodwork is good. You deserve a cute dress and a Happy Birthday!

[SpartanMaker 996]

On 3/30/2025 at 11:08 PM, Arabesque said:

Actually bone density is becoming an issue for middle aged and older men too these days too @SpartanMaker. I know several men in their late 50s early 60s who have been diagnosed as having osteopena or osteoporosis. One was very surprised as he is an avid cyclist & thought himself very fit & healthy but cycling doesn’t help with bone density. He got tested after his wife, also a cyclist, was diagnosed & was worried.

Good points. I do think post-menopausal women are still almost 4 times more likely to suffer from osteopena or osteoporosis, but I'm not surprised at all to see the rate going up for men. We as a species are just more sedentary and this is one of many diseases that unfortunately are exacerbated by our inactivity.

Us older folks were also lied to for a long time about the "dangers" of activities like running, being told it would "wear out our joints". It seems the reverse is now being shown, which shouldn't be surprising if we consider Seyle's "General Adaptation Syndrome" model that first proposed the idea that our bodies respond positively to eustress. We are now finding that "impact" sports actually improve joint health and even can reverse bone loss.

food for thought.

[Spinoza 1,473]

@Arabesque honestly could you find a menopause specialist and pay them for what you need until the supply issues are sorted?

Your gain is so VERY clearly related to your hormone status. Nothing else has changed.

Online if you can't access locally? There are medical professionals who do this for a living.

As you know I had the classic third year regain last year and have been fighting that ever since. Not daily or weekly, but it's in my head all the time.

Also - just dropping into your thoughts. We people with obesity have a metabolic disease even if we're currently thinner because of surgery. There are now drugs that replace what we never naturally produced (GLP-1 et al agonists). Would you consider micro-dosing on Ozempic or Wegovy etc in order to replace what you never had and keep you on track?

[Arabesque 7,507]

Exactly @Spinoza. It’s there all the time. Sometimes just a faint little voice whispering in the distance and sometimes shouting at you. Mine has been shouting a lot lately, Had to give myself a kick in the pants and getting it off my chest here has been a help. Always a such a supportive community here.

Was actually thinking about asking my GP for a referral to a menopause specialist. She’s been great right from the start about prescribing HRT and putting me on alternatives when issues arose but I have been thinking I need some extra help. I reduced my estrogen a little last week (3 pumps down to 2.5) because of the bloating and sore breasts but now the daily headaches are back. Sigh!

I see my bariatric follow up doctor later this month so I’ll what she says as yes, micro dosing had crossed my mind too.

The man I was most surprised by with his bone loss was my cousin @SpartanMaker. He was a walker. Walked for miles, twice a day, up & down hills with his dog when he permanently retired. Still don’t understand that but he had a sedentary job which I think probably contributed and probably does for lots of men and women too these days. My dad was a farmer (horticulturalist) on his feet and lifting things every day. His bones were so hard that when he’d have his bone marrow tests for his multiple myeloma, the doctor would stand on the bed or kneel over my dad to put his weight behind the needle to get it into the bone Yikes!

[Lilia_90 569]

On 3/29/2025 at 8:32 AM, Arabesque said:

I so wanted to be my maintained slim self when I turned 60 in 4 months. I always have been overweight at significant birthdays. This one was going to be different. The way I’m going I’ll be a stone heavier. Not overweight but more than I want to be & have been happy at. Very sad face.

You will always be fabulous, slim and trim. A few kilos up or down will not change that!

With that being said, I completely understand your fear and I'm sorry you're going through this. While I wouldn't recommend cutting your calories any further, have you tried dedicated walks? (5-6k steps) as they really help with weight management. From experience, people who don't enjoy conventional exercise can just hit 8-10k steps a day to maintain or even lose weight.

Edited Sunday at 07:34 AM by Lilia_90

[Kris77 1,539]

There was a special on recently that Oprah did on Menapause. A lot-alottttt of women suffer with symptoms and doctors aren’t recognizing the symptoms and helping.
I’m sorry you are going through this as well. What is the deal on the shortage? Is it just where you live or all over in other countries as well?

Not sure what the weather is like over there but I agree with some others about long walks. If it’s nice. Get a good audio book and your ear buds in and walk.
You look amazing. Like mss.s said. If you didn’t look at the scale would you even notice?
Bc you look amazing!💛

[Arabesque 7,507]

The shortage is here in Australia. Much lIke the one you had with HRT in the States in 2023. For us it is only the combined transdermal patch which is the one I use. Our therapeutical goods association is saying we could be looking at another 12 months. It’s already been almost a year. I got two lots in February last year but then there was none available. My pharmacy received a small order in October but hasn’t had any at all since. It’s staring to happen with the creons I take too. P

Oh I know. Clothing is starting to get firm and couldn’t do up a pair of jeans last week. Waah! Never a good sign.