So Scared Now, Please HELP!

[Bugg 9]

Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’m going to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated! Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.

[Bessieboop1981 44]

Hello there and welcome!

I was sleeved about 8 weeks ago now and I spent countless hours, days and months before surgery stressing about every little thing that I read and heard. Right up until surgery I was still hyperventilating! I totally understand how you feel right now. Now I'm on the other side I have to say there are some major challenges for me to deal with. I have been big my entire life and this is like a baptism by fire to me. What do I mean by that? Well I knew I had a food issue especially comfort eating but I didn't realise how bad it was until after my surgery. Head hunger is my biggest enemy I crave food a lot of times during my day. Interestingly enough I don't really crave junk food anymore because I have avoided that from the get go, I just miss the comfort of eating more if that makes sense.

I did feel really drained and miserable months before surgery, I was so afraid of things going terribly wrong too, but I was Ok and it was worth it. I don't regret it and I am still early days. I have lost over2 and a half stone in that time and I am feeling much better than I was pre op.

Now, you say you don't enjoy healthy food but what do you class a healthy? You will eventually be able to eat chicken, lean beef and pork mince, fish, cheese, yogurts, Protein Drinks, Protein puddings and much more. You will also be surprised how much your tastes and cravings change post op, I know! I didn't believe it either! I make a healthy version of pizza with my own low calorie wholemeal base and low fat protein cheese with ham. It tastes better than the one I used to have before and it is a much healthier version. There's literally loads of ways you can alter your favourite foods to make them lower in calories and healthier too. Get on Pinterest and tiktok there's so much content out there for bariatric surgery patients.

The main thing I should tell you with absolute certainty is that the sleeve is a tool not a quick fix. You really need to be fully prepared for the changes it will bring. You will need to put in the hard head work and explore a healthier way of life, Be willing to try healthier food and you may learn to like it. You will not be able to eat unhealthy food and get all the nutrients you need from your diet.

If you are certain this is what you want to do then you need to research. you said you don't like healthy food but you also said you don't know how to eat healthy. This is where your research will come in. I noticed you said that you can't find the discipline but when you have a smaller tummy you physically can't eat as much, you will be in a lot of pain and then you will throw up!

I wish you all the best on your journey, it's a hell of a ride! x

[Bugg 9]

Thank you so much for responding, everything you said made me feel validated in my fear and comforted as well. I actually do love cooked vegetables and meat cooked in other ways besides fried. I like a variety of foods in fact. I guess I just see people posting such healthy looking meals that don’t look appealing to me and I’m just like “do I have to eat that?” Like I’m not a fan of raw vegetables and cottage cheese, for instance. I haven’t seen anyone post something that I like which makes me think that what I like to eat are things I won’t be able to eat. I’m not too concerned about not being able to eat junk food at all because I’m not really a junk food eater more than I am a comfort food eater. I just love a good meal and I just don’t see anyone posting good food. Food is a concern bc it’s important, but my biggest concern besides food is being able to get out of my head and an even bigger concern is the things that can go wrong! Being dehydrated, Vitamin deficiency, extreme Constipation, hernias, gallbladder removal, GERD, having to convert to bypass, being hospitalized for something. Like is there anyone who has not had a complication? Even people who don’t regret the decision seem to have so many scary issues. I’m so afraid of what could go wrong. I’m afraid of being sad about food the rest of my life. I’m sad now about the control food has over me. I feel trapped. I hate that I have to be fat and even go through all of this. I hate I’m on a forum complaining about being fat. Lol. I just need someone to tell me to do it and that it will be ok and worth it! I guess I just keep imagining I’m going to be sitting here physically feeling a cut off stomach, if that makes sense. Lol. Like, I know I won’t be able to eat a lot anymore, I know I’ll need to make the better choices with food which is fine, but I just don’t want my life to revolve around food anymore! I don’t want to sit around everyday worried about food. It seems like I have to go from thinking about what I’m going to eat everyday to worried about if I’m going to be able to eat enough or eat too much or get dehydrated or get enough Protein or something with food! I’m just sick of food! Lol.. Will my life ever not be about food and weight?!! If the sleeve makes me go from worrying about weight to worrying about weight on top of a bunch of other stuff, is it going to be right for me? Am I trading one woe for another? I hope that makes sense.

[Bessieboop1981 44]

Hey lovely

It sounds like your mind is going into overdrive with everything and that's understandable I get it I've been there so many times. Only you can make the decision about if this is right for you.

The sleeve will not solve your issues with food but it will help you to eat a lot less, for most of us it is the last resort. Ask yourself if you can carry on living your life as you are now. There are risks with every operation, even with having teeth out. Instead of looking at the bad stories look at the good! It does take a leap of faith to do this I'm not gonna lie but for me it was absolutely the right choice. I am type 2 diabetic and I was heading towards insulin. I had high cholesterol and there is heart disease in my family. I'm off my meds now and I feel amazing, it's just the mental struggle which is worse some days than others but I'm getting there and I'm early days.

Another tip I picked up is to stop the diet mentality. In the beginning I was calorie counting everything even a bloody pickle! Now I keep an eye on my calories but I try not to obsess because when I do that it makes my brain fight the control. If I'm hungry I have some veges or fruit and I don't count that.

Life does get better after the initial shock of such a huge life style change. Many people continue to tell me that life gets better and I have learned that it does gradually. Be kind to yourself though hun and give yourself time.

I wish you well x

[DaisyChainOz 465]

I second everything said by @Bessieboop1981 I was also sleeved 8 weeks ago, and have found it hard at times to deal with the head hunger and the change to my body and lifestyle (former chef and pastry chef) food has been a HUGE part of my life for a long time, and now it is not so much! But that doesn't stop the desire!

The physical pain of overeating is very real post surgery, I can not eat much at once, and sometimes grieve that, but I do know that after trying to lose weight my whole adult life, this is the only thing that will help to control the volume I eat. That is what I was after, the handbrake to stop me overeating, but it is only a tool, the fact is you need to be ready emotionally.

The physical risk factor of Gastric Sleeve is minimal, however, as said above, all surgery has risks including serious complications and even death and this has to be weighed against the potential benefit. Only you can know if it's worth it to you.

I also wish you well!

[summerseeker 2,282]

If its not your time to do this surgery then cancel. You will know when its your time to do it. I can tell you that you may come to regret your earlier cancellation.

My advice to you is try and chat on here, we understand. We care. Stay off the other sites, they are not doing you any favours. You don't realise that people who have no issues after surgery don't post. If you have a problem, you ask for help. Thats why you are seeing 'bad' posts.

I will not lie to you, I had issues. I had very swollen internal cut lines. It took a while to eat easily and initially drinling was tough. I had a great team behind me and I stayed in hospital an extra 4 days. I could see them monthly and weekly if I needed and speak to a dietician everyday if I needed. I didn't.

3+ years after surgery, I can honestly tell you that I love this new me. I am bloody gorgeous lols. Yes I had a couple of months where I struggled but I feel its worth it. I was a disabled woman who hid in her house. I was so unhappy. Now I go on holidays abroad, sometimes alone. Always accept friends invites and totally live a full life. I can eat everything and anything, just in small portions. I will always be thankful to the surgeon who took me as a patient, I had so many weight related issues he could have refused me. Now I live instead of existing

[Bugg 9]

Thank you all so much for replying and your comforting words. I can’t believe how nice everyone else. I was almost dreading reading replies because I just knew I was going to see a mean reply but everyone has been so nice and supportive about my emotional rant. Lol. I can’t thank you enough. Yesterday I went to a church service and sat on the bench and I just felt so big and uncomfortable and stuffed. I felt bigger than everyone on my row and probably was. Then I got home and ordered food for my kids and I and ate such a big portion and I remembered all over again exactly why I want this surgery and seeing your words confirmed it. Especially when @DaisyChainOz said “Only you can know if it’s worth it to you”. I really needed to hear that and I’m feeling like it’s really worth it at this point. I really can’t keep feeling like this. I guess if food is always going to be a thing, I’d rather it be a thing while I’m thin and more comfortable in my body. It’s also hard bc I’m not telling a lot of people. Not to be secretive, but bc I know many people won’t understand and I really want this to be my choice without the extra noise and opinions from people who don’t know what it’s like to feel trapped by your own body. I pray for no issues & that I end up being like everyone else in a few months asking myself why I didn’t choose to do this years ago. Can I ask a couple more questions though? Will I ever be able to guzzle Water again? Lol. I just love ice cold water after a sweat or when I’m thirsty, just the feeling of chugging ice cold water, will I ever be able to chug a cold glass of water or will I need to sip it forever? If so, that’s fine, I just want to prepare my mind for what I’m giving up. Also, I know a couple of you are only a few weeks in, but has anyone lost too much weight? Not medically but lost too much personally? I’m afraid of getting to a size that’s too small. I don’t think I’ve ever desired to actually be skinny, I just want to be normal/average.

[PrayingForWeightLoss 340]

Hi Bugg. What you are feeling is totally normal. I had similar or kind of similar fears. I was sleeved in 2017. Best decision ever. I lost 40kgs and have maintained with variations of about 5kgs on and off. I had no health complications and feel so healthy. I still drink Water in 2-3 swallows only then rest. It is not a big deal and I am used to it now. With the total weight loss, most people lose the most weight in the initial aftermath and you will likely gain some of it back. I maximized the most weight loss I could experience in the initial phase. Last but not least, remember you don’t anyone an explanation about your private health information. People don’t go around explaining their blood pressure, asthma, yeast infection treatments etc. That applies to your bariatric treatment. You share what you fell like sharing with whoever you want to share with. It’s your private health information. Good luck with your treatment.

[summerseeker 2,282]

We would come down like a ton of bricks on someone who was mean on here. Its a safe place. People come for advice and reassurance and because I was helped I am paying it forward. I might add that it keeps me on track too so I am not as selfless as I seem.

10 hours ago, Bugg said:

I’m not telling a lot of people.

This is wise, I told only my husband and son. It was my decision to do this and like you I didn't want to listen to any negativity.

10 hours ago, Bugg said:

Will I ever be able to guzzle Water again?

Yes you will, I do. But in the beginning few days its a scary struggle and I did panic at this stage but we all got there.

10 hours ago, Bugg said:

I’m afraid of getting to a size that’s too small.

I got to a size and weight where I was happy. You then up your calories, a little each week until you get to the point where you stop loosing weight. Its really simple but takes a little courage to let go a bit.

[La Crisha 8]

On 3/13/2025 at 8:19 AM, Bugg said:

Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’m going to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated! Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.

Hi there!

I am getting ready to have surgery on Tuesday. I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. I did a lot of preparing for this surgery. Three weeks ago, I did the liquid diet that you are supposed to do post op. I just wanted to get a feel of how it would be so I can prepare for what's to come. I started implementing the things that my dietitian and providers told me that I need to do to be successful post op. I stopped drinking all pop and carbonated beverages. I was buying all the things that was zero sugar added and sugar free. I have been drinking my Protein Shakes and clear Protein Drinks. I have been keeping up with my Water intake and getting in as much exercise as I can. When I decided to go ahead a do the surgery I was weighing at 291 lbs. My task goal weight loss for surgery was set a 5lbs. I actually lost way more than that, I surpassed what they wanted me to lose. I am now 254lbs. I will probably have lost a little more by Tuesday. Starting tomorrow I have to be on Clear Liquids to prep for Tuesday. Just want to let you know you got this and you will do great. Just stay focus and motivated. I was the same way on edge and excited. Make sure you have a good support team too! This will help and make things feel so much better. It is good that you are nervous and excited! Way to go!!!!

[Bugg 9]

Thank you so much for your encouragement! That’s amazing you lost that much weight on your own. Congratulations & good luck on your surgery! Please respond again afterwards and let me know how it goes.. I’d love to know your experience fresh out of surgery.

[Bugg 9]

I feel so much better after reading you all’s posts and encouraging words. I’m back ready for this again! I’ve had time to really think about what’s important and why I really want this surgery and the benefits outweigh the thoughts and anxiety running through my head. Now, I’m just ready for a date! Bc I want to stop thinking about it and just begin this journey!!

[La Crisha 8]

LOL, you asked if you can guzz down Water ever again. I was told by my provider that you should not ever do that because you will be filling your new stomach with air and make it expand. I think practicing this now will help you for post-surgery and thereafter. That is what I did, I practiced sipping my water and I bought a smart bottled water from Amazon and set a reminder for every thirty minutes and it also keeps track of how much I drink for the day. So far I have been able to maintain 64oz just by sipping every day. Now after Tuesday I have to set my water goal to 48 oz a day. I have even tried sipping my water after I had done a strenuous workout and I surprised myself, I did not guzz it down like I used to. I took my sips and was fine. I think the key to being successful on this journey is practice. Practice all what your dietitian and providers tell you that you need to do, and you will be great.