So Scared Now, Please HELP!

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Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’m going to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated! Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.

[Bessieboop1981 43]

Hello there and welcome!

I was sleeved about 8 weeks ago now and I spent countless hours, days and months before surgery stressing about every little thing that I read and heard. Right up until surgery I was still hyperventilating! I totally understand how you feel right now. Now I'm on the other side I have to say there are some major challenges for me to deal with. I have been big my entire life and this is like a baptism by fire to me. What do I mean by that? Well I knew I had a food issue especially comfort eating but I didn't realise how bad it was until after my surgery. Head hunger is my biggest enemy I crave food a lot of times during my day. Interestingly enough I don't really crave junk food anymore because I have avoided that from the get go, I just miss the comfort of eating more if that makes sense.

I did feel really drained and miserable months before surgery, I was so afraid of things going terribly wrong too, but I was Ok and it was worth it. I don't regret it and I am still early days. I have lost over2 and a half stone in that time and I am feeling much better than I was pre op.

Now, you say you don't enjoy healthy food but what do you class a healthy? You will eventually be able to eat chicken, lean beef and pork mince, fish, cheese, yogurts, Protein Drinks, Protein puddings and much more. You will also be surprised how much your tastes and cravings change post op, I know! I didn't believe it either! I make a healthy version of pizza with my own low calorie wholemeal base and low fat protein cheese with ham. It tastes better than the one I used to have before and it is a much healthier version. There's literally loads of ways you can alter your favourite foods to make them lower in calories and healthier too. Get on Pinterest and tiktok there's so much content out there for bariatric surgery patients.

The main thing I should tell you with absolute certainty is that the sleeve is a tool not a quick fix. You really need to be fully prepared for the changes it will bring. You will need to put in the hard head work and explore a healthier way of life, Be willing to try healthier food and you may learn to like it. You will not be able to eat unhealthy food and get all the nutrients you need from your diet.

If you are certain this is what you want to do then you need to research. you said you don't like healthy food but you also said you don't know how to eat healthy. This is where your research will come in. I noticed you said that you can't find the discipline but when you have a smaller tummy you physically can't eat as much, you will be in a lot of pain and then you will throw up!

I wish you all the best on your journey, it's a hell of a ride! x

[Bugg 0]

Thank you so much for responding, everything you said made me feel validated in my fear and comforted as well. I actually do love cooked vegetables and meat cooked in other ways besides fried. I like a variety of foods in fact. I guess I just see people posting such healthy looking meals that don’t look appealing to me and I’m just like “do I have to eat that?” Like I’m not a fan of raw vegetables and cottage cheese, for instance. I haven’t seen anyone post something that I like which makes me think that what I like to eat are things I won’t be able to eat. I’m not too concerned about not being able to eat junk food at all because I’m not really a junk food eater more than I am a comfort food eater. I just love a good meal and I just don’t see anyone posting good food. Food is a concern bc it’s important, but my biggest concern besides food is being able to get out of my head and an even bigger concern is the things that can go wrong! Being dehydrated, Vitamin deficiency, extreme Constipation, hernias, gallbladder removal, GERD, having to convert to bypass, being hospitalized for something. Like is there anyone who has not had a complication? Even people who don’t regret the decision seem to have so many scary issues. I’m so afraid of what could go wrong. I’m afraid of being sad about food the rest of my life. I’m sad now about the control food has over me. I feel trapped. I hate that I have to be fat and even go through all of this. I hate I’m on a forum complaining about being fat. Lol. I just need someone to tell me to do it and that it will be ok and worth it! I guess I just keep imagining I’m going to be sitting here physically feeling a cut off stomach, if that makes sense. Lol. Like, I know I won’t be able to eat a lot anymore, I know I’ll need to make the better choices with food which is fine, but I just don’t want my life to revolve around food anymore! I don’t want to sit around everyday worried about food. It seems like I have to go from thinking about what I’m going to eat everyday to worried about if I’m going to be able to eat enough or eat too much or get dehydrated or get enough Protein or something with food! I’m just sick of food! Lol.. Will my life ever not be about food and weight?!! If the sleeve makes me go from worrying about weight to worrying about weight on top of a bunch of other stuff, is it going to be right for me? Am I trading one woe for another? I hope that makes sense.

[Bessieboop1981 43]

Hey lovely

It sounds like your mind is going into overdrive with everything and that's understandable I get it I've been there so many times. Only you can make the decision about if this is right for you.

The sleeve will not solve your issues with food but it will help you to eat a lot less, for most of us it is the last resort. Ask yourself if you can carry on living your life as you are now. There are risks with every operation, even with having teeth out. Instead of looking at the bad stories look at the good! It does take a leap of faith to do this I'm not gonna lie but for me it was absolutely the right choice. I am type 2 diabetic and I was heading towards insulin. I had high cholesterol and there is heart disease in my family. I'm off my meds now and I feel amazing, it's just the mental struggle which is worse some days than others but I'm getting there and I'm early days.

Another tip I picked up is to stop the diet mentality. In the beginning I was calorie counting everything even a bloody pickle! Now I keep an eye on my calories but I try not to obsess because when I do that it makes my brain fight the control. If I'm hungry I have some veges or fruit and I don't count that.

Life does get better after the initial shock of such a huge life style change. Many people continue to tell me that life gets better and I have learned that it does gradually. Be kind to yourself though hun and give yourself time.

I wish you well x

[DaisyChainOz 448]

I second everything said by @Bessieboop1981 I was also sleeved 8 weeks ago, and have found it hard at times to deal with the head hunger and the change to my body and lifestyle (former chef and pastry chef) food has been a HUGE part of my life for a long time, and now it is not so much! But that doesn't stop the desire!

The physical pain of overeating is very real post surgery, I can not eat much at once, and sometimes grieve that, but I do know that after trying to lose weight my whole adult life, this is the only thing that will help to control the volume I eat. That is what I was after, the handbrake to stop me overeating, but it is only a tool, the fact is you need to be ready emotionally.

The physical risk factor of Gastric Sleeve is minimal, however, as said above, all surgery has risks including serious complications and even death and this has to be weighed against the potential benefit. Only you can know if it's worth it to you.

I also wish you well!