"T?was the night before Christmas" for Lapbanders

[bandpal 7]

Hi everyone - I posted this on the General Support Board but wanted to share it with all of you - thanks for your suppport and wishing you each and all a joyful day. - Bandpal

"T’was the night before Christmas" for Lapbanders

(With apologies to Clement C. Moore)

T’was the night before Christmas, I’d binged through the house,

I’d just emptied the fridge and I felt like a louse;

My XXXL pants were hung on the chair,

They were getting quite snug, almost too tight to wear.

So I put on my sweats, nestled deep in the blues,

“I will never be thin”, to myself I did muse,

And as deep in depression I dolefully sat,

I accepted the truth: I would always be fat.

When way up on the roof deftly landed two feet,

Landed ever so lightly, the sound so discreet,

That I just barely heard it, but wanted to see

What the source of this sound could potentially be.

Away to the window I stumbled and shuffled

And got such a shock that my shout went unmuffled.

For right there on my roof, standing thin as a stick

And as fit as a fiddle was – that’s right - St. Nick!

Well, I stuttered and stammered – “Santa, you look great,

Please tell me your secret – how’d you lose all that weight?”

With a wink of his eye he extended his hand,

And he said, “Got two words for you, sonny – The Band!”

He waxed and effused and enlarged on the topic,

“A minor procedure – its all laproscopic!

A half hour under, then they seal you with glue,

And send you right back home, cause you’ve healing to do.

A few days discomfort, some passing of gasses,

You just drink Clear liquids – don't worry, it passes,

Next full liquids, then mushies, that’s your post op plan,

Then you’re chewing on solids within a month’s span.

Don’t swallow too quickly, that’s really a bummer,

Buy pineapple juice, it’s just like liquid Plumber,

And if the band loosens, just hang in there until,

Your doctor can see you and give you a fill!”

Then he hopped on his sledge like a spry little sprite,

And headed off into the darkness of night,

As he vanished, I started, and yelled, “Santa, hey –

Where are all of those reindeer who pulled your sleigh?”

He laughed, and replied, sounding quite overjoyed,

“As of my last weight in, six are unemployed;

With the weight that I’ve lost, I have need of but two!”

Then I asked, ”and what present, St. Nick, am I due?”

As his voice trailed off, I could hear him say, “Well,

Have you got pen and paper? Take this URL

And check in here often, he said with aplomb,

‘cause this site is a gift, it's: lapbandtalk.com!

[Kristin1031 0]

Bandpal that is AWESOME!! I love it!! Happy Holidays to you!!

What a wonderful tribute to all of us who have been given this wonderful gift THAT definately KEEPS ON GIVING!!!!

Hugz,

[hollyberries 2]

This is awesome...you very gifted.

[hungryforchange 0]

Wow!!! Thanks for sharing! That was awesome!!

Merry Christmas!

[steph_co 9]

Bandpal, you have such a gift of balladry - I love all your posts. This was especially fun. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

[Foofy 0]

Lovely as always! Next year we'll do a Hanukkah one for you!

[CTman 0]

Hey that was great, I'm putting it on the fridge!!! I need all the humor I can get. I don't like surgery but know I need this one. I have good insurance (Anthem BC/ BS) so I hope I am approved quickly. I would like to be banded by the end of February 2008.

CTman - Bridgeport, Connecticut

301 lbs. 41 BMI, Male

12/11/07 - LapBand Seminar

12/18/07 - Nutitionist & Therapist Appt.

1/3/07 - Dr. Erhlich - Surgeon Appt.

[Sades 4]

Good one Bandpal... very creative! :clap2: :clap2: