So unmotivated to do anything, but frustrated that I'm not doing anything!!!

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,642]

The title pretty much sums it up. I keep thinking about the workouts I need to do, the walks I need to take, the beginners pilates and yoga I need to start....and I honestly just don't feel like it. I WANT to do it and I don't feel like it at the same time. I have no idea how that works exactly, but here we are.

My husband thinks it might be a bit of depression because I started a GoFundMe to raise the funds I need to complete my certifications to move up at work and get better pay. I've asked everyone I know to please share it where they can (I have NOT asked anyone I personally know to donate, but the more it's shared, the better the chances of hitting the goal) but there's been NO movement on it at all. I'm not sure if it's being shared or not and I really hate having to make it to begin with.

My husband thinks being so bummed about that is affecting everything else, including doing my hair (I usually at the very least maintain it, but now I just throw it in a pony tail or headband and call it good) and working out. I'm not usually a depressed person so I'm not super familiar with how it feels. But it does make sense. I'm more motivated to get stuff taken care of professionally, but I know I can't let my health slip.

Any suggestions on how I can get my motivation back? Anyone else experience anything like this?

[SpartanMaker 852]

Depression can definitely impact motivation, so your husband may be on to something? That said, there is a difference between clinical depression and situational depression. Clinical depression is generally a lot more serious and long lasting, whereas situational depression tends to be less severe and tends to get better over time once you are further out from the triggering event. I'm not a mental health professional, but it certainly seems more like situational depression to me if you're really stressed about the work/funding situation. I think if you are concerned, the best course of action would be to talk to a mental health professional. We all go through some rough stuff every now and again, so if you need help, please get it.

With that out of the way, I do also want to give you my thoughts on general overall motivation to exercise when you are struggling with that. What people often fail to understand is that humans are literally designed to conserve calorie expenditure. This is a key survival instinct, or at least it was back when food was a lot more scarce than it is today. I mention this because sometimes people think there's something wrong with them when they are not motivated to workout. Actually just the opposite is true. That feeling to want to do just about anything else other than workout is instinctual. So what do we do about this? well, since calorie conservation is such a strong instinct, we need even stronger things to overcome that feeling.

Below are some ways we can do that. These are roughly in order of importance (at least in my opinion):

1. Probably the single most important thing is to really understand your why. By that I mean if you don't really know why you want to exercise, or if the reason is somewhat vague (such as just feeling like you're supposed to), that just may never be enough. Really explore what caused you to want to make this change. If the reason is sufficiently important (for me it was not wanting to die an early death), then it makes everything else a lot easier because you can always refer back to the why when you'd rather just do something else.
2. Make it a habit. Let's be honest. There are certain things you do in life that are just habits and you don't really need motivation to do them. They may not even be things you enjoy, but you do them anyway. For me that's things like laundry or dishes. Showering or brushing my teeth might be more examples. I don't really need a lot of motivation to do them, I just do them because that's part of what I do day to day. What we want to do is get to the point that exercising is just another habit. This could be a pretty long post in and of itself, but one tip I have is something called "habit stacking". I blatantly stole this idea from a book by author James Clear called "Atomic Habits". (I Highly recommend reading it by the way.) The idea here is to attach the new habit you want, such as working out, to an existing one you already do like eating dinner. It might look like this: "After I eat dinner, I will go for a walk around the block"
3. Set realistic goals and update them as you progress. Realistic is the key here because I often find that people either set too easy of a goal, or much more likely, too hard of a goal. If your goal is to workout 5 days a week for 30 minutes at a time when right now, you're basically doing nothing, that's simply too much at once. A much better goal would be something like "I'm going to go to the gym once this week". For some people, just getting out the door and to the gym is the hardest part, so if the goal is just getting there, it overcomes the biggest challenge. Most likely, once you're there, you'll at least do something (you won't just turn around and come home). The same can be true if you're goal is walking around the neighborhood. Often just getting out the door is the hardest part, so instead of saying I'm going to walk 30 minutes a day, simply make the goal getting out the door once this week.
4. This one is a little harder, but you need to explore your feelings and determine what your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators are. Some people are motivated almost exclusively by one of the other, but my experience is that most people are motivated at least in part by both internal and external things. When you know what these things are, it makes motivation a lot easier. As an example, I really love the way working out makes me feel, which is a strong internal motivator. That said, I also really enjoy looking fit. (I'm vain, sue me). I use these two things to my advantage.
5. Put it on your schedule. Way too many people say they are just too busy to workout, but most of the time, that's just an excuse. If it's important, then you'll put it on your calendar just like anything else that's important.
6. "Pre-prep" for your workout. This can vary depending on what you do, but a lot of people that workout in the morning (or immediately after work), find that if they lay out their workout clothes, or pack their gym bags before they go to bet the night before, it takes away one of the biggest challenges they have to getting the workout started. This removes an excuse not to do the workout, and in addition, serves as a reminder to actually do the workout.

These are the biggest ones that come to mind for me. There are other tricks and tips I could give (like finding an accountability partner), but this post is already pretty long.

One final thing I wanted to mention. A lot of people have found (and research backs this up), that regular exercise can actually significantly lessen symptoms of depression. While I do still recommend talking to a professional, you may find that working out actually helps you feel better.

Best of luck!

[BlondePatriotInCDA 512]

2 hours ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

The title pretty much sums it up. I keep thinking about the workouts I need to do, the walks I need to take, the beginners pilates and yoga I need to start....and I honestly just don't feel like it. I WANT to do it and I don't feel like it at the same time. I have no idea how that works exactly, but here we are.

My husband thinks it might be a bit of depression because I started a GoFundMe to raise the funds I need to complete my certifications to move up at work and get better pay. I've asked everyone I know to please share it where they can (I have NOT asked anyone I personally know to donate, but the more it's shared, the better the chances of hitting the goal) but there's been NO movement on it at all. I'm not sure if it's being shared or not and I really hate having to make it to begin with.

My husband thinks being so bummed about that is affecting everything else, including doing my hair (I usually at the very least maintain it, but now I just throw it in a pony tail or headband and call it good) and working out. I'm not usually a depressed person so I'm not super familiar with how it feels. But it does make sense. I'm more motivated to get stuff taken care of professionally, but I know I can't let my health slip.

Any suggestions on how I can get my motivation back? Anyone else experience anything like this?

Yes! I've been experiencing the same lack of motivation. I feel its (for me anyway) the constant cloudy days, the nothing new (surgery almost 18 months out now) ..same old food..I mean lets be honest here chicken is chicken is chicken and lastly I've noticed this if you watch TV every commercial; children with cancer/disabilities, dogs and cats abused left out in the cold, maimed soldiers, pharmaceuticals for ailments, food/homes for ppl etc. Its depressing!

I wish I had magical motivating words for you, but remember you've done so well with your journey to a healthier body/lifestyle there will be occasional physical and mental setbacks..its all part of the journey. Could it be depression? Maybe, but I feel ppl are too quick to call mental downs(we can't be up all the time) "depression". Just as we can't be motivated all the time! Now if it lasts for months on end -possibly. Just take a step back, give yourself a break after all you've done so much all ready! Take the time to self reflect, feel down if need be it IS part of being human..then pick yourself up and do what you need to do..I've read your posts you are a go getter, motivated kind hearted person to others - be that way for/to yourself!

Lastly, do a self check maybe especially during winter check your Vitamins - especially Vitamin D, maybe you need an adjustment, how are your macros? Do something completely different out of your normal comfort zones. I personally detest working out and I agree knowing you need to and doing it/enjoying it two different things. Sometimes you just need a break. Do yourself a favor and give yourself one!

Now, here I will differ from the post above; I don't personally like the " schedule" your workouts.. Writing them down because it reinforces my feeling down if/when I don't do them, seeing my failure doesn't help me feel better only worse, but each of us works differently. Do what helps you.

Edited 6 hours ago by BlondePatriotInCDA

[NickelChip 1,301]

I know for me, this is the hardest time of the year. It's cold (-8F this morning according to my car, which is just insane). It's still kinda dark in the mornings and dark pretty early at night, too. The holidays are over so a lot of the fun you may have been anticipating a while back is done and the routine feels hard and boring. It's not a motivation-inspiring season.

So my advice is that sometimes it's okay to take care of your mental health, and that can be as important as your physical health. Within reason, of course, so you don't let yourself slide into terrible habits. But if you have 10 things to do and you can only manage 5, pick the 5 that matter most to you. Don't do what I sometimes do and spend so much time stressing and lamenting over the 5 you can't get done that you end up not doing anything at all. 5 things is okay when 10 isn't possible.

You need to move your body, but you don't need to walk AND do yoga, AND do pilates, AND... It's okay to pick one thing. It's okay to skip the gym and go for a walk with a friend. Or skip the walk and get a pedicure one day because your body is just tired. Sometimes that's what will give you energy to do the other stuff.

As long as your hair is reasonably clean, sometimes you just need a ponytail. Or a hat. Not all days are cute days.

Plan to get done what you must get done plus what you really want to get done, until you feel able to do more and pushing yourself to do it only takes average effort. I think sometimes we deplete our energy to the point that our bodies and minds have to insist on recharging. Give yourself the chance to recharge without guilt.

Edited 6 hours ago by NickelChip