"You're wasting away"

[Bypass2Freedom 730]

So I received this "compliment" (??) today, twice within the space of about 15 minutes by two separate people.

In my head I am trying to understand exactly what they mean by it because in my brain it is a negative - but also very strange for me to comprehend given that I am not even at my 1st goal.

Anyone else had experience with this?

[BigSue 1,376]

Yes, in today's society, being thin is generally considered a good thing, so statements that indicate that you look thin are usually intended as compliments. Some people make exaggerated statements like this ("You're so thin that you look like you are wasting away!") with the intent to highlight what they consider a positive attribute (thinness). I got compliments while I was losing weight but still obese, "If you lose any more weight, you'll blow away in a gust of wind!"

In some cases, people who genuinely care about you could be concerned that you are ill, especially if they don't know you had weight loss surgery, but if this is the case, they will usually approach you in a more private and sensitive manner, not just an offhand comment in public.

[Bypass2Freedom 730]

@BigSue I think you are definitely right there - it always astounds me how something that sounds so negative is actually intended as a good thing. The idea of 'wasting away' has such strong connotations of being unhealthily thin, yet because it denotes thinness it is seen as a positive 🤔

Thank you for the context & explanation though, I think being Autistic makes me wonder these things and ponder the meaning!

[AmberFL 781]

@Bypass2Freedom I absolutely hate that comment, I get that all the time. Or "Don't loose more weight, your getting too skinny or you look really muscular" I just say no I am normal weight you just have never seen me at this weight so it looks really thin or I am in the best shape of my life, and I worked my ass off so thank you for that!

Anyways its annoying AF!

[FifiLux 447]

I have gotten it a number of times from different family members and friends who tell me I look great but to stop loosing weight etc.

My boss frequently tells me I don't eat enough and getting too thin.... this from a man who when showing me the ladies he is swiping left/right on never gives a second look to someone over about 130lbs! 🙄

So I just reply, well excuse me but most of the time I eat enough (I track), just small and frequent usually plus I am going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week and upping my fitness and toning up but its none of your business anyway.

[BigSue 1,376]

2 minutes ago, FifiLux said:

My boss frequently tells me I don't eat enough and getting too thin.... this from a man who when showing me the ladies he is swiping left/right on never gives a second look to someone over about 130lbs! 🙄

Your boss shows you the ladies he's checking out on his dating app?! Gross!

[FifiLux 447]

10 minutes ago, BigSue said:

Your boss shows you the ladies he's checking out on his dating app?! Gross!

Well in fairness we are friends, he just happens to also be my boss, and it is only discussed after work when we are out for drinks - we don't have such chats at the office.

Being friends is also why I think he thinks it is ok to comment on my eating and weight, he would not do that to any of the others in our team.

Edited 2 hours ago by FifiLux

[summerseeker 2,152]

Being overweight all my life, I bristle at any comment about my size. Then or now. Its my business, end of. If you saw me before so disabled and ill and see me now able to do anything I want. That is something I will talk about. Want to talk about how happy I am or being able to stop the anti depressants, yep I am your woman. I am not comfortable with anything else.