A Letter to Myself, 6 Months on...

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

So prior to surgery I tasked myself with writing a letter to the "future me". I wrote this letter and then sealed it up so that I could open it 6 months post-op and reflect. I thought I'd share it with you all to give some inspo, and just because I value being open about my journey with you all ❤️

I wrote this letter on the 20th December 2023, with my surgery scheduled for the 14th May 2024.

Some of this letter may be triggering for others (mentions of sexual assault/abuse), so please don't read on if you aren't able to.

I also highly recommend for people to do the same pre-surgery. Reading this letter has been really cathartic for me, especially at a time where my weight loss is slowing down a little.

So, here it is, my letter to myself:

To me,

I hope that you have found your own form of genuine happiness. To try and picture how life is for you now is impossible. I'm currently at work, my back is in pain, I am overly conscious of my body - my stomach and chin in particular. I hope that you aren't worrying about any of those things anymore.

Remember feeling so painfully aware of your body, about how nothing quite fits you anymore? I pray life is better for you now.

I want you to have a whole new quality of life. No more holding yourself back. Say yes to things that scare you. Go on a paddle boat. Go to go-ape. Do something terrifying.

I hope that your mental wounds are beginning to heal. All those times you were cheated on and mentally & physically abused by your ex because of your weight. You didn't deserve that. Not one bit. Your worth is not, and never was, defined by how much you weigh. Please don't get stuck on the numbers.

I know this has probably been one of the hardest experiences for you, and I know you have probably had to re-learn everything, but you deserve this. You are so, so deserving.

Reflect back on the past: Nan calling you 'podgy' in a top you was excited to wear when you was 13, but you never wore it again after that. Growing fast and being bigger than most people in school. Always yo-yoing from diet to diet. None of it worked. Punishing yourself didn't work. But now look at what you have achieved. YOU did this. No one else. Be proud.

I hope, more than anything else, that you have finally found out who you are. That girl inside, behind all the weight, waiting for freedom.

I can't wait to meet her x

[Spinoza 1,371]

Oh lord I am in floods of tears. Thank you for sharing. This will chime with so many people here. Welcome to your new life. 💚

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

6 hours ago, Spinoza said:

Oh lord I am in floods of tears. Thank you for sharing. This will chime with so many people here. Welcome to your new life. 💚

Thank you for taking the time to read it 🖤 I'll admit I cried when reading it too!

I hope it does - we are all on such a complex and personal journey, I think it's so important we take the time to praise ourselves and reflect.

Thank you🖤

[NeonRaven8919 364]

I can relate. My favourite leather jacket that I never wore again because a stranger told me I looked like a bean bag chair.

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

16 minutes ago, NeonRaven8919 said:

I can relate. My favourite leather jacket that I never wore again because a stranger told me I looked like a bean bag chair.

That is so heart-breaking to hear - I hope that you feel comfortable to wear it again, as you should!

[NeonRaven8919 364]

1 minute ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

That is so heart-breaking to hear - I hope that you feel comfortable to wear it again, as you should!

I gave it to a charity shop after that. But I might I treat myself to a new one. On a slightly related topic, my 5xl Winter coat (I always get a size bigger in coats so I have room for a hoodie) is almost ankle length now because I lost so much weight. (Almost 55 lbs) so that day may be sooner than I planned!

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

19 minutes ago, NeonRaven8919 said:

I gave it to a charity shop after that. But I might I treat myself to a new one. On a slightly related topic, my 5xl Winter coat (I always get a size bigger in coats so I have room for a hoodie) is almost ankle length now because I lost so much weight. (Almost 55 lbs) so that day may be sooner than I planned!

Definitely get a new one!

Ah that is amazing! Well done!

[BlondePatriotInCDA 494]

Wow, you had me tearing up. You've come so far and through so much. You have great reasons to be proud of yourself.

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

1 hour ago, BlondePatriotInCDA said:

Wow, you had me tearing up. You've come so far and through so much. You have great reasons to be proud of yourself.

It's so moving to hear that people have had such an emotional reaction to my little rambling, thank you for reading it and for your kind words x

[Arabesque 7,240]

Thank you for sharing @Bypass2Freedom. Very brave to share your emotions, experiences & hopes for your future self,

Have you considered writing another letter about where you are now and what you have achieved & any new dreams you may have now?

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

9 hours ago, Arabesque said:

Thank you for sharing @Bypass2Freedom. Very brave to share your emotions, experiences & hopes for your future self,

Have you considered writing another letter about where you are now and what you have achieved & any new dreams you may have now?

Thank you for reading 🖤 I like to think I'm an open book, especially when it comes to my more difficult experiences, purely because I believe having an open and non-judgemental platform to talk about things that may otherwise be hidden away, is really important!

That's actually a really good idea - I think I'm going to do that!