Looking to have surgery and having difficulty getting approved

[Calliegerl 0]

Since 2014 I have been gaining weight. I've gained 75 pounds. I was 150 at 5'7 inches tall and at that time I was relatively inactive but ate normally.

A decade later I'm 225 and 34 and have not been able to lose. I cut out sugar, I joined a gym and got a dietician three years ago. I have still gained ten pounds per year. I've been tested for PCOS, Cushing's and Thyroid disorders and they have found no evidence. I eat less now than I did ten years ago.

I love in Canada and rely on government healthcare. They won't approve me for gastric bypass. They gave me Ozempic last year and it was a nightmare and worsened my IBS. I didn't lose weight I gained another 12 pounds on that drug.

I'm out of options.

This has basically destroyed my life. I haven't dated in ten years. Tried to commit suicide twice three years ago. The weight gain never stops. It's awful. I'm not doing it to myself. I don't over eat. I exercise, I go to the gym, I don't eat sugar and I just butt. It's a cruel joke this life.

Edited 4 hours ago by Calliegerl

[ms.sss 15,434]

2 hours ago, Calliegerl said:

lve in Canada and rely on government healthcare. They won't approve me for gastric bypass.

based on your height and weight, your BMI is 35.2. if you have 2 comorbities, you would qualify for WLS in Ontario. what province do you reside in?

[NickelChip 1,175]

You definitely have a serious issue, but I don't think it's your weight. Your weight isn't going to kill you, at least not at the size you are right now, but your mental health might. And it certainly is robbing you of the joy in life that you deserve to experience. That's tragic. And unfortunately, surgery or weight loss isn't a cure.

Gaining weight can take a toll, both mentally and physically. I understand, because I went from 5'6" and 127 lbs at age 16 to weighing 225 lbs by age 32 and hitting 250 lbs by 49. I tried many diets. I exercised. I worked with a dietician for about 7 years and tried many medications, including Saxenda and Wegovy. I developed high blood pressure and became prediabetic.

For 33 years, I gained weight, lost a bit for a while, and kept gaining more. But I also lived a fairly happy life. I got married, bought a house, had two children, started a career I enjoyed, traveled to lots of places I had always wanted to see, learned new hobbies, spent time with friends and loved ones. Was I frustrated that I had to buy clothing in the plus department? Yes. Did I sometimes look in the mirror and feel sad at how I looked? Absolutely. But that wasn't my identity and it didn't dictate what I allowed myself to do or experience.

Feeling like your life is destroyed, that life is a cruel joke, and reaching a point where you do not wish to continue living is an extreme and unhealthy reaction to gaining weight. It's a huge red flag that something else is going on with your mental health. That, in my opinion, is way more pressing to take care of right now than reducing the size of your body.

I had surgery because I knew it was what I needed for my health. It would clear up physical issues and help me live a longer life with more activity and less pain. I did it because I loved myself and I knew I deserved to get every ounce of joy from life that I could. But a year ago, 80 lbs heavier than now, I loved myself exactly as much as I do today. I don't love myself any more now because I'm thinner, even though I do love how I look. And I love myself now way more than I probably did when I was downright skinny in my youth. There's no magic number on the scale that makes you worth loving. You're worth that at every size, shape, and age.

I'm not saying to give up on losing weight or on getting weight loss surgery. If it's important to you, you can find a way. There are some amazing and affordable self-pay surgery options available in Mexico, for example. You could start saving a little bit of money each month now if it feels worth it to you. I hope this won't happen, but if you continue to gain weight, you will eventually qualify for surgery through your health care. In the US, it's at a 35 BMI with comorbidities and at a 40 BMI based on obesity alone. I assume the standards in Canada are similar.

But no matter what you do, I would encourage you to find help with your mental health and self-image. You deserve to be happy with who you are and not to have how you feel about yourself be based primarily on something as arbitrary as a number on the scale or the tag inside your jeans.