Struggling 😔

[kristieshannon 1,593]

I’ve tried various things through the 5 years since my surgery. Regular gyms, kickboxing gyms, walking, running, yoga. What I’ve found works for me is just doing activities I enjoy. I discovered (once my butt was small enough to fit in one) that I love kayaking. And in the last year or so I’ve been getting in to cycling. I don’t walk a ton for exercise anymore, but have found I love to walk around cities I visit when traveling, and walk my dog several times a day. Once the weight came off all of these things became easier and more enjoyable.

[NeonRaven8919 140]

I took up cycling 2 years ago just as my daily commute. I just wanted to save money and time on transport costs. I wasn't even wanting to lose weight 3 miles away so I did about 6 miles a day. Turned out I really enjoyed it and since I git an ebike, it was easier for my joints. Cycling helped me maintain some of my weight (I was still eating too much garbage so I wasn't expecting a miracle). I now just really like it. The ebike aspect makes it not feel like work either.

Edited September 4 by NeonRaven8919

[Bypass2Freedom 490]

Thank you so much everyone for all the comments - I was really overwhelmed (in a good way) to see so many, and this community really does keep me going sometimes. I am so appreciative ❤️

So, as some of you may know, I am a new driver and I am a bit anxious now I can go out there on my own! I realised I could drive to the gym now which would make things so much easier, in terms of getting there in the morning, so last night I practiced the route there and back and it went well.

I didn't manage to get to the gym this morning, but I am trying not to kick myself! Perhaps I do just need to go for a walk first and get my steps up!

I also realised I am having PMS so perhaps that is adding to the sudden weight gain & emotional state 😂

Again, thank you everyone ❤️

[FifiLux 370]

Also, consider that you will have to buy more clothes soon and it may even be an enjoyable experience to be walking around the shops so that will help with step count - that is what I tell myself when I go shopping, it is healthy for me but not my bank balance!

[ms.sss 15,183]

count me as a non (traditional) gym goer as well. i do not enjoy lifting weights and never did. i really, really tried to like it but it just didn't stick. i also am not a fan of the various cardio machines (bike, row, treadmill, etc). so i gave up trying to do those activities.

i did find out that i enjoy running (but for some reason only in circles, like around my block or on a track, i think its because i like to run, but not actually go far?)

i also enjoy pilates and rock climbing.

im completely addicted to hot yoga.

also do other stuff i find interesting or fun or cool here and there but nothing on a regular basis like the activity above.

like others have said, if u do something u like, you are much more likely to stick with it. if you force yourself or try to motivate yourself in any other way (to not waste money, self-flagellation or self-shame, fomo, etc) you will most likely quit and then feel disappointed or whatever and the shame-spiral continues....

not everyone is a gym person. hecks, not everyone is an exercise person. and there are lots of these people who are not (and even never have beeb) obese.

[SpartanMaker 702]

First of all, you are not lazy! Humans are literally genetically programmed to save energy whenever possible. You have to keep in mind that historically it took a lot of physical energy to procure food, so by default humans looked for ways to conserve energy as a survival mechanism. It's not a natural thing for actually look for ways to expend energy (a.k.a. workout). This only became common very recently in human history when food was no longer scarce and we didn't have to spend our days actively looking for or working for food.

My point is that your body is doing exactly what it was programmed to do.

So I guess your next question is what to do about this and why are some people more successful at overcoming this genetic programming? My belief is that you have to find a "why" beyond something vague like "I know I'm supposed to workout". For most people that are very active, they have found something that motivates them to overcome the inherent desire to conserve energy. If the motivator is stronger than the genetic programming, you'll be successful.

For example, for me as an older person, dying an early death is, or at least was, a strong motivator to start being more active. As I progressed down that road, I've found that I actually enjoy some things that I never expected to like the "feeling" of being fit. Even at 60, I feel so much more capable and strong than I ever did when I was younger. That feeling is now an extremely powerful motivator for me to continue to improve physically.

For you, the thing that might trigger the desire to be more active might be completely different. Only you can determine what that is. Who knows, it might be something simple like proving others wrong, or maybe because you want to look better naked! Shoot, it could even be to make sex more enjoyable!

Searching out your why and making sure you really understand that first is really the most important step.

Once that's locked in, then you can start eliminating barriers or stumbling blocks that prevent you from activity. For example, finding activities that bring you joy, adding your chosen activities to your schedule and setting out your workout clothes ahead of time can all really help.

Best of luck.

[BlondePatriotInCDA 413]

On 9/3/2024 at 5:59 AM, Bypass2Freedom said:

Prior to my WLS I remember having this overwhelming feeling of pressure & guilt all mixed into one, because I felt lazy - why couldn't I just go to the gym and make a change for myself? And that feeling of pressure and negativity just stunned me into doing nothing.

I swore that post-WLS I would do my everything to never be like that, yet here I am - yes I am losing weight, I am eating better, but I have been to the gym like 5 times in 2 months...why can't I just do it?

I feel like I am really just putting a lot of pressure on myself right now, but I just think I need to make a change and get into better habits.

Sorry guys - just needed to vent! Anyone else struggle with this kind of thing?

I'm the same. I'll be honest, its not that I don't like the gym...I don't like exercising gym or anywhere.

I dread every minute of it. I walk (boring) and lift free weights (boring and tedious), I refuse to swim - that would require going to a public pool and putting on a swimsuit and looking like a newborn shar pei. It isn't going to make me want to publicly swim. When we had our own pool I use do laps sometimes. I like hiking, but that involves traveling somewhere and dealing with weather.

Its all boring!

I have:

1. Free weights

2. Treadmill

3. Nintendo Switch exercise games

4. The Total Gym

5. Exercise bands

6. The Cubii Move

I don't like doing any of them. Its not laziness; its tedious and boring! Add on top of that I don't like being sweaty. I do yoga which I used to enjoy, now I don't. I can foresee due to the boredom and not enjoying it not doing any of it soon. I get tired of people, dieticians, doctors, physical therapists etc., telling me I just need to find something I'd enjoy doing. Please, please tell me what that is!?

So, rest assured its not just you. I'm struggling with it as well. Also, I have permanent shin splints..so running, walking anything where I have to travel involves a mile of constant pain until it settles regardless of stretching beforehand.

Edited September 6 by BlondePatriotInCDA

[ShoppGirl 4,347]

This may kind kinda crazy but have you tried just walking in your house. I have been doing an outdoor walk too now but I started with little five minute walks back and forth in my house from one end to the other. At first I wasn’t really logging them, just trying to prevent blood clots but I decided to start wearing my watch that logs my activity and five minutes is a quarter of a mile!! Work up to four times a day and that’s a mile right there. If you get to where you can do 20 minutes at once then you can probably make it around the block. It is hot but I have been going just before it gets dark and I walk in and jump in the shower. I’m telling you it feels so good to get started and being outside and the endorphins from the activity are so good for your mood. I talked to my therapist today and she is amazed at how great I am doing. I know that I’ve still got a ways to go and I may need encouragement to stick with it since one week it isn’t exactly a habit yet. But I am so proud of myself and that is an amazing motivator. This is coming from someone who hasn’t exercised at all in YEARS. You just have to get past that first time and it gets so much easier. Just set small goals so that you can achieve them and that should keep you going. If you don’t have one, these watches are pretty great too. It’s almost like a game trying to beat yesterdays goal.

[Rashi 20]

On 9/3/2024 at 10:47 AM, MrsFitz said:

Maybe the gym isn’t *your thing* and that’s why you’re finding it such a struggle to commit to it? Maybe a personal trainer isn’t for you but you would be happy to work out on your own? Is there anything else that piques your interest fitness-wise? I love the gym but actual fitness classes bore me rigid! Maybe being out in nature (with your beloved even) would interest you more? Or rock climbing, canoeing, running (or walking) around a track, go carting, swimming blah, blah, blah. For a fitness regime to stick, you have to find something you love.

If you’ve paid for a gym membership and want to get your monies worth until it runs out then I’m more than happy to be your virtual gym buddy. Please don’t think you’ve failed or that you HAVE to put additional pressure on yourself to get fit. Do whatever you feel happy and comfortable with. It’s just baby steps to begin with, dipping in to things to see what works for you. Also have a think about what you’re doing in the gym as it could be the workout that isn’t floating your boat. I do a bit of cardio to warm up/cool down and then I’m on the resistance machines. Could I do a cardio-heavy workout? Nah! It’s all personal choice 🙂

Celebrate your successes so far, because (in the words of a cheesy ad) YOU’RE WORTH IT!

Wow! This reminder is so helpful. I'm only 4 days PostOp and I am already overwhelmed with the thought of...getting up at 5AM, to get to gym and workout, be showered and ready to for work by 8AM at minimum 4 days a week... like OMG! But you are so right, having something you enjoy doing makes it less of a "chore". I really love yoga; I mean truly love it. I remember going to classes and having the ability to do poses that were "potentially questionable" for my size and thinking how much more amazing it would feel and benefit me to do the poses at a smaller size. This goal was and remains on my list of experiences I am looking forward to. I will say, remember @Bypass2Freedom it's about healthy movement so to me... any and everything counts.

[ShoppGirl 4,347]

Does anyone know an exercise to help slim down the inner thighs? I hate mine. I need that and core exercises for like absolute beginner. I have zero ab muscle.

[Rashi 20]

3 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

Does anyone know an exercise to help slim down the inner thighs? I hate mine. I need that and core exercises for like absolute beginner. I have zero ab muscle.

Sumo squats and leg lifts are great for the thighs and best beginner friendly for core that I believe in, is planks, increasing your hold time will tighten your core.

[Lilia_90 246]

Find something you enjoy doing.

While I have been a gym rat forever, I always take up things that I look forward to and it has to always be sustainable for me.

So some years ago I took up tennis and would go twice a week, I also took up Taekwondo, martial arts and now Pilates. My two Pilates classes a week are the highlights of my week, I look forward to them and I shop cute workout outfits weekly because I like to look good when I go.

It is much easier to build on the workouts (movement) you enjoy, so if you enjoy a certain activity (swimming, cycling, tennis, padel, Pilates, yoga, hiking, dancing, whatever it is) you will always feel a bit more motivated to build on that. So for me, I go for Pilates twice a week and I lift and do strength and conditioning another 3 days a week to add to my classes. I love jogging, HIIT and plyos and do that for my cardio, but even brisk walking is really really good to maintain weight loss. Keep it simple.

Also, I find it much draining to workout after work, so I workout at 5:30 AM before work (except for my Pilates classes because my studio doesn't run classes that early), this allows me to get it out of the way and have my evenings free to do what I like (which is be with my kids, bake, chill). It also helps that I have a fully equipped gym at home that I have built. I always kept weights, a bench, jump rope and resistance band at my old house and would mostly workout at home early in the morning, if you can keep some weights, a walking pad and some resistance bands at home (if it is an option) do that, it works great for busy days or mornings where you don't have time/the will to go to the gym.

This is what has worked for me. It has to be enjoyable and sustainable for you.

Edited September 8 by Lilia_90

[Justarwaxx 51]

On 9/3/2024 at 4:59 PM, Bypass2Freedom said:

Prior to my WLS I remember having this overwhelming feeling of pressure & guilt all mixed into one, because I felt lazy - why couldn't I just go to the gym and make a change for myself? And that feeling of pressure and negativity just stunned me into doing nothing.

I swore that post-WLS I would do my everything to never be like that, yet here I am - yes I am losing weight, I am eating better, but I have been to the gym like 5 times in 2 months...why can't I just do it?

I feel like I am really just putting a lot of pressure on myself right now, but I just think I need to make a change and get into better habits.

Sorry guys - just needed to vent! Anyone else struggle with this kind of thing?

I know how you feel! I was hoping I'd be more active but tbh I just made realistic short goals

Like my goal now 3 weeks post op to walk 30 mins 3x aweek

Then increase the goals slowly.

I work better with short term goals and also when I'm allowed to go to the gym I'll get a membership for like 1 month then ill def feel guilty for not going but if I have 1 year membership I'll also say I have time. I'll go tomorrow! But that's just me teehee!#

Don't feel so bad as long as u r sticking to Yr program of eating right! It's 80% food and 20% working out! WE GOT THIS!

[SpartanMaker 702]

11 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

Does anyone know an exercise to help slim down the inner thighs? I hate mine. I need that and core exercises for like absolute beginner. I have zero ab muscle.

Physiologically, it's impossible to target fat loss in a specific area. That's just not how our bodies work. You can target specific muscles by doing exercises that load those muscles, but that won't have any impact on fat deposited in the same area.

[Arabesque 6,987]

I agree with @SpartanMaker, @ShoppGirl. You can’t spot lose weight/fat. But be careful building muscle in your thighs as they could end up bigger. I have three pairs of slim legged pants I can’t wear anymore because they became too firm in the legs. Weight hadn’t changed. Pants still fit perfectly in the waist & around the butt but the thighs, and calves in one pair, nope. Waah! And no they didn’t shrink in the wash. (Remember when we used to use that as an excuse -lol!)