Reminders of why I want to do this surgery

[NeonRaven8919 338]

I've been struggling to keep up with the diet so I thought I would try to focus on all the things that I hope to accomplish from the surgery so that I can remind myself what better times I have to come.

Not just big things like better health but also the smaller things that I think are just as important.

1st: Sleep! I want to lose enough weight to sleep well. I don't have sleep apnoea yet, but my doctor says I'm at risk because of my weight and even without the sleep apnoea, it's still really hard to get comfortable and lying on my back definitely affects my breathing and my spine.

2nd: Activity! I ride my bike everywhere and I enjoy it, but I would love to do other things without pain in my knees. I go to concerts a lot and usually need to stand because no one sits at rock concerts (unless it was like when I went to see the Scorpions last month when the average age of music fan was 56 so it was all seats). Standing for a long time hurts and then I can't enjoy the concert as much as I was hoping. Maybe be able to lose the ebike and get an "acoustic" bike.

3rd: Fashion! Being able to shop at cheaper stores. Plus size clothes comes with a plus size price tag. Years ago, (teenage years) I bought a t-shirt that was a size 16. They had the same t-shirt in the "plus size section" (also a size 16 and the exact same size) and it was £2 extra for the same amount of fabric. And as someone with a more alternative sense of fashion, not a lot of plus size clothes have skulls and flames and vampires and things like that. They tend to make plus size clothes with puppies and kitties and cutesy things. There's nothing cutesy about me.

[MrsFitz 440]

Have you ever thought of making your own clothes? I’m just thinking it could be a win/win for you - get the clothes you actually want to wear (no cutesy puppies or kittens here either 😉) plus it would keep you busy and occupied so distracting you from food both short and long term.

Congrats on your losses so far. It’s immensely difficult when you’re putting yourself under pressure because of someone else’s expectations (your surgeon in this case) Just think about YOU, not him. You’re doing brilliantly and that’s all that matters 😊

[NeonRaven8919 338]

2 hours ago, MrsFitz said:

Have you ever thought of making your own clothes? I’m just thinking it could be a win/win for you - get the clothes you actually want to wear (no cutesy puppies or kittens here either 😉) plus it would keep you busy and occupied so distracting you from food both short and long term.

Congrats on your losses so far. It’s immensely difficult when you’re putting yourself under pressure because of someone else’s expectations (your surgeon in this case) Just think about YOU, not him. You’re doing brilliantly and that’s all that matters 😊

I do knit my own jumpers but haven't learned about sewing yet. I inherited a sewing machine that I've been dying to learn how to use. This is a good idea!

[JennyBeez 287]

4 hours ago, NeonRaven8919 said:

3rd: Fashion! ... And as someone with a more alternative sense of fashion, not a lot of plus size clothes have skulls and flames and vampires and things like that. They tend to make plus size clothes with puppies and kitties and cutesy things. There's nothing cutesy about me.

Or florals, and 'ditzy florals'. I don't mind me some dark botanical prints with kinda moody vibes or mushrooms, but stop putting flowers on half of plus-sized clothing. Ughhh. Looks fine on other people, but on me it's like my clothes can't decide if I'm trying too hard to look younger, or have given up and aim trying to look like my grandma.

I love (sarcasm) how the fashion industry just decided they could get away with charging a premium -- both on women's clothing in general, and on plus sizes especially. If it was premium fabric or custom-made / bespoke items, sure, but when it's just a few more inches of cheap poly-blend? Pfft.

[NeonRaven8919 338]

@JennyBeez Exactly! The fashion industry wants all the fat people in muumuus. I guess like a scarlet letter for not fitting the ideal beauty standards?

[NickelChip 1,203]

100% with you on fashion! And I don't know about in the UK, but in the US, so many of our department stores hide the women's plus section on the top floor, behind the children's department, next to the toilets. It's always the part of the store with not enough heat or A/C and clothing strewn everywhere because the workers never get back to that area to clean it up.

Although, I'll caution you now that whatever size you happen to be in when you go shopping as you lose weight, that will be the size they are out of. I used to struggle to find a 2X in things and could only find XL. Now I'm looking for XL and there are only 2X. Like, where were all you 2Xs a year ago?

[MrsFitz 440]

1 hour ago, JennyBeez said:

Or florals, and 'ditzy florals'. I don't mind me some dark botanical prints with kinda moody vibes or mushrooms, but stop putting flowers on half of plus-sized clothing. Ughhh. Looks fine on other people, but on me it's like my clothes can't decide if I'm trying too hard to look younger, or have given up and aim trying to look like my grandma.

I love (sarcasm) how the fashion industry just decided they could get away with charging a premium -- both on women's clothing in general, and on plus sizes especially. If it was premium fabric or custom-made / bespoke items, sure, but when it's just a few more inches of cheap poly-blend? Pfft.

Or bows? Or really badly placed frills?? Or cheap, scratchy lace? Or (and this drives me insane) tops that aren’t long enough 🤬🤬🤬 I’m the size of a house, no amount of spangles, added trim or crappy flowers/puppies/kittens/cute crap will ever disguise that fact 🙄

And yes, I want frigging useable pockets in dresses and skirts 😡

(rant over 😇)

[Bypass2Freedom 663]

15 hours ago, MrsFitz said:

Or bows? Or really badly placed frills?? Or cheap, scratchy lace? Or (and this drives me insane) tops that aren’t long enough 🤬🤬🤬 I’m the size of a house, no amount of spangles, added trim or crappy flowers/puppies/kittens/cute crap will ever disguise that fact 🙄

And yes, I want frigging useable pockets in dresses and skirts 😡

(rant over 😇)

Don't forget the classic 'cold-shoulder' tops and sequins that they love to force into plus-size 'fashion' 🤢

[NeonRaven8919 338]

16 hours ago, NickelChip said:

Although, I'll caution you now that whatever size you happen to be in when you go shopping as you lose weight, that will be the size they are out of. I used to struggle to find a 2X in things and could only find XL. Now I'm looking for XL and there are only 2X. Like, where were all you 2Xs a year ago?

Of course! That's so typical!

[NeonRaven8919 338]

15 hours ago, MrsFitz said:

Or bows? Or really badly placed frills?? Or cheap, scratchy lace? Or (and this drives me insane) tops that aren’t long enough 🤬🤬🤬 I’m the size of a house, no amount of spangles, added trim or crappy flowers/puppies/kittens/cute crap will ever disguise that fact 🙄

And yes, I want frigging useable pockets in dresses and skirts 😡

(rant over 😇)

Yes! Pockets! Although lack of pockets isn't exclusive to plus sizes. That's just women's clothing in general. They don't want us to have pockets so we can't carry the tools to dismantle the patriarchy! 😂

[NeonRaven8919 338]

13 minutes ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

Don't forget the classic 'cold-shoulder' tops and sequins that they love to force into plus-size 'fashion' 🤢

I don't mind the cold shoulder all the time, but yes it's too much! Either have a sleeve on the top or don't!

[summerseeker 2,118]

On 8/13/2024 at 4:35 PM, JennyBeez said:

Or florals, and 'ditzy florals'. I don't mind me some dark botanical prints with kinda moody vibes or mushrooms, but stop putting flowers on half of plus-sized clothing.

This and I also detest animal print.

To answer your questions. I don't sleep any better. I am old enough to have to get up twice every night to pee, I also have Fibromyalgia so I am constantly changing position to ease my pain. If I had a magic wish, I would love to sleep through the night again.

Now Activity, I am a winner here. I can stand 8 hours behind a very busy charity shop counter once a week and still manage to get home, just about. I walk miles, any excuse and I am off down the road. I never realised how my obesity made me disabled. My walking stick is no longer needed. You will be amazed.

Fashion, I am a late developer here. I hated clothes before. My new love is bright colours and over the knee dresses. I love clothes shopping, actual shopping and not just the online outlets. This big U turn shocked me to the core. I hid and now I want to be seen. People ask where I shop fgs.

Anything you can wish for and many you won't have thought of will become your new life. Its so very amazing. You have the very worst pre op as I have said before but I know in the end its going to be worth it for you. Keep going, you have got this.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,589]

I'm with you on ALL of that. I was in a 28/30 and 5x in clothing and size 10 in rings and 11w in shoes. When I could even find anything in my size, it was expensive, ugly, and not in style at all. I hated it so much. Now, I'm in a size 12 and Large in clothing, size 5 ring, and size 10M in shoes. So much easier to find clothes in my size that are cute, fit better, look better, and priced WAY better. I can shop sales and clearance, I can go thrifting and know I'll find stuff, I can shop in ANY store and not be embarrassed or disappointed.

Activity is so key. I couldn't move around without a cane before, and even then it was so hard. I was out of breath after the smallest tasks. Now I go on 10 and 12 mile hikes, I work out and do core/strength/weight training, and I can go horseback riding (just did that last weekend and it was AWESOME to be within the weight limits) or anything else I want to do.

sleeping is so much better now. I can sleep in any position, I don't snore anymore, and I don't wake up with headaches like I use to. I was told I needed a cpap but I didn't want one, and I suffered because of it. Don't need one now!!

And of course, my health has drastically improved. No more high cholesterol, high blood pressure, inflammation meds for my joint pain, or diabetes. Instead of constantly being anemic, it stays low normal, which is huge for me. All my labs consistently come back perfect and normal. It's a whole new life now, and even though I went through SO MUCH to get here, I would do it all again in a heartbeat

[ShoppGirl 4,756]

@NeonRaven8919 I’m curious. Did you give the sewing machine a go? There are lots of videos online but also check your local library or adult school for classes. I always thought I wanted to sew and took some classes but I also started crochet around the same time and that sorta took the main stage. It came easier to me so of course that translates to it being more fun. I bet it would be a very good distraction though because I remember losing track of time when I was working on a pillowcase when I first started. I had to learn everything from how to thread the machine to how to wind a bobbin and change a needle, etc. My husband came home but it felt like it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. I was at that machine all day!!

Edited August 16 by ShoppGirl

[ms.sss 15,504]

On 8/13/2024 at 6:55 AM, NeonRaven8919 said:

1st: Sleep! I

2nd: Activity!

3rd: Fashion!

Stories from the other side (i'll be 6 yrs post op this Oct):

Sleep: about 1 month after surgery, i was able to sleep through the ENTIRE night without getting up to pee or waking myself up with snoring for the first time in YEARS (decades?). it was (and still IS awesome). I am always well rested and have seemingly endless amounts of energy during the day. the only thing that is a bit of a downer is that i can no longer sleep comfortably on my stomach (which was my previous preferred sleeping position), i've long suspected my lack of stomach padding now seems to contribute to hyper-extending my lower back when i am on my stomach. so its back and/or side sleeping for me now. no biggie though, i've got used to it.

Activity: as per my aforementioned endless amount of energy, i am like an energizer bunny during waking hours. i've become a bit of an exercise addict (who me???) and am probably stronger and fitter than i have ever been in my whole adult life (and i'm 52 yrs old for effs sakes). i also LOOK the fittest i have ever looked in my entire adult life...and i was already fit-ISH up until my mid-30s. it's funny and mind-blowing (and ridiculously ego-boosting) when the young 20-30 yr old girls in my Pilates and yoga classes come up to me after class and tell me that they aim to be able to do the things that i do in class, and, wait for it...want to LOOK like me. cray. zee.

Fashion: don't even get me started. even before i ran out of "skinny" clothes to wear during weight loss phase, i was already in the throes of being an over-the-top-clothes-buyer (and shoes, and purses, etc lol) i've calmed down a little bit compared to those first couple years, but i do admit i could probably calm down a little bit more. i have way too many clothes in my closet (some of which i haven't even worn in public yet). not sure when i will cure myself of this habit, but i'll enjoy it until i do, ha!

one last thing not on your list the deserves mention:

CONFIDENCE.

i found that i am just bursting with it (maybe too much as i really do think of myself as the absolute BOMB.). but the confidence is not just feeling good about and trusting myself, but it translates also as feeling good about others, trusting others, patience with others and self, calm, peace, courage, all the good stuff!

of all the things, the confidence is the one i value the most. thanks WLS. (and thanks ME for doing what i needed to do to get here).

Edited August 16 by ms.sss