An OK Week

[MrsFitz 440]

Weight loss calmed down this week - 1.5lbs. No complaints though after the losses of the week before 🙂

Feeling tired today. Visited family yesterday, 6 hours all together sat in a van and my knees are so unhappy with me. It was our first time to our son’s new home which is a longer drive than his previous place. Will try and be better prepared next time. At least we spent time with the grandkids, which is always wonderful.

A NSV yesterday…I bought some (non-stretchy) 3/4 cropped jeans a couple of years ago for £5, telling my daughter-in-law that I would fit in to them eventually. I broke them out yesterday, took the tags off and they fit perfectly!! 🥳🥳 The only downside was that it was far too hot for denim but the point was made 🙃 However DIL recognised them yesterday and was really pleased for me.

Hubby has been a bit weird lately. Don’t get me wrong, still as massively supportive as ever but the ‘you will probably leave me when you lose weight’ comments have popped out more than a couple of times. Why do blokes always use this?? I did remind him that I didn’t leave him when I lost weight previously so why would I now? Do they think we’re only with them because we’re too fat to bother looking elsewhere? Jeez, I haven’t got the energy for anyone new, never mind all the stuff you generally do at the beginning of a relationship like shaving my legs or wearing matching underwear 🙄

Anyway, physio for knees tomorrow and Bariatric support group at the hospital on Wednesday. Have remembered to dig out my food diary to complete this week, ready for the dietitians appointment next week.

Have a slimmer week everyone, we deserve it 🥰

Onwards and downwards!

[NeonRaven8919 366]

Why are men? In General.

But im Happy for you with the jeans!

[AmberFL 747]

yasssss your doing amazing!!! Yea I heard that from my hubby in the beginning too, its stopped now that he realizes I am not going anywhere. He will get used to it and will starting hoping on that train with you!

[JennyBeez 287]

I don't think most partners realize how hurtful and kind of insulting it can be when they make comments like that. I know it's coming from a place of fear -- of losing their partner by not following suit, of not being good enough for someone looking to improve their lives, etc. But it can be a tough comment to hear.

It might be good to have a good couple of conversations with him about it. Reassure him that what you need and desire in a partner is mutual support, respect, etc (and that romancey-love-stuff, I guess, lol), and that as long as he is able to support you through this you'll be just has happy with him tomorrow as you are today. Remind him that even though this journey is going to be tough and will require a lot of focus on yourself at first, you're still there to support him as well.

[AmberFL 747]

24 minutes ago, JennyBeez said:

I don't think most partners realize how hurtful and kind of insulting it can be when they make comments like that. I know it's coming from a place of fear -- of losing their partner by not following suit, of not being good enough for someone looking to improve their lives, etc. But it can be a tough comment to hear.

It might be good to have a good couple of conversations with him about it. Reassure him that what you need and desire in a partner is mutual support, respect, etc (and that romancey-love-stuff, I guess, lol), and that as long as he is able to support you through this you'll be just has happy with him tomorrow as you are today. Remind him that even though this journey is going to be tough and will require a lot of focus on yourself at first, you're still there to support him as well.

I don't think they do either, my partner is supportive and told me his attraction for me has not left. I asked if he preferred me heavier and he didn't say a peep. I followed up with, well I am not changing, because this is the new me and our kids deserve a mom who is healthy, not a mom who is 300lbs with a climbing weight and cannot keep up with them. He agreed, he just said its different. He met me heavier so me NOW is super new. We had to have a very very long talk, and its continuous but we have been working through it. I think the first 3-4months were the hardest, I lost weight really quick and it was a really big shock to everyone but especially him who touches me and all the things. Intimacy lacked for a bit,

So I would agree that keeping that transparency is so important, also being selfish is important too right now.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,598]

WooHoo!!! You're doing so well!!! Have you been updating your stats on here? If not, you should. Have you decided on the surgery you want and when you're having it? As for why men are dumb...the only answer I have is because they're men. Can't live with em and it's illegal to shoot em lol But I digress...I love my hubby but he did and still does the same thing. I weighed 270 when we met and was all the way up to 421. Now that I'm 176, he gets in his moods where he's convinced I'm going to leave, l but I just tell him I'm too old, too tired, and I put too much time, effort, and energy into getting him the way I want him to start all over with someone new. Not sure that helps a whole lot, but at least he's quiet after that lol

[MrsFitz 440]

@NeonRaven8919Exactly!

@AmberFLHe‘s currently on the platform, unsure if the weight loss train is the train he wants at the moment

@JennyBeezRomanncy-love-stuff? What’s that then? LOL!

@SleeveToBypass2023All my stats are up to date right now. Don’t know which surgery as I haven’t had my appointment with the surgeon yet (NHS - it’s never a rush 🙄) I had thought sleeve initially but, after my first group education session, I’m now thinking bypass, purely because of reducing the hunger hormones which isn’t a factor with the sleeve. However, I will listen to what the medical professionals recommend and make my decision from that.

So, I had the conversation with hubby last night and got a lot of things cleared up. It’s not just the WLS that’s concerning him but some other things too like me having knee surgery and not needing him anymore, especially as he has his own disability which cannot be addressed with surgery. He thinks he will be holding me back and I deserve better etc etc. I truly understand where he’s coming from but we’ve been together 22 years, married for 17. His accident happened when we’d been together a couple of years and back surgery made it much worse. We’ve dealt with horrible shitty ex-wives, massively entitled kids, redundancy, depression, illness, disabilities etc. If we can come through all of that and not want to stab one another then I will take that as a win 🤣😂 Life throws things at us when we least expect it, both good and bad. I think we’re OK for now, thankfully, so I can stop eyeing up the pillows in bed, thinking of ways to smother him 😈

Physio was cancelled today due to staff illness. They had a bit of a panic trying to find an appointment for me as I’m supposed to have physio 10-14 days after the steroid injection. As it stands, they found me an appointment for next Monday which will be 19 days afterwards so I will have to see if that’s acceptable. I’m not stressing though as I’m doing the circulation booster and knee programme every day so hopefully that will have a positive impact.

[AmberFL 747]

11 hours ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

WooHoo!!! You're doing so well!!! Have you been updating your stats on here? If not, you should. Have you decided on the surgery you want and when you're having it? As for why men are dumb...the only answer I have is because they're men. Can't live with em and it's illegal to shoot em lol But I digress...I love my hubby but he did and still does the same thing. I weighed 270 when we met and was all the way up to 421. Now that I'm 176, he gets in his moods where he's convinced I'm going to leave, l but I just tell him I'm too old, too tired, and I put too much time, effort, and energy into getting him the way I want him to start all over with someone new. Not sure that helps a whole lot, but at least he's quiet after that lol

thats exactly what I say! its way too much effort to go somewhere else, we have 3 kids, too messy, and plus I am the dating scene is not for me! HA!

[Arabesque 7,240]

15 hours ago, MrsFitz said:

@SleeveToBypass2023All my stats are up to date right now. Don’t know which surgery as I haven’t had my appointment with the surgeon yet (NHS - it’s never a rush 🙄) I had thought sleeve initially but, after my first group education session, I’m now thinking bypass, purely because of reducing the hunger hormones which isn’t a factor with the sleeve. However, I will listen to what the medical professionals recommend and make my decision from that.

Hey @MrsFitz, I’m a little confused. Sleeve does reduce hunger hormones - where it is produced in the tummy is in the section of the tummy that is removed. Unfortunately, hunger hormones are also produced in the brain which can compensate which is why hunger comes back in varying degrees for both sleeve & bypass.

[MrsFitz 440]

16 minutes ago, Arabesque said:

Hey @MrsFitz, I’m a little confused. Sleeve does reduce hunger hormones - where it is produced in the tummy is in the section of the tummy that is removed. Unfortunately, hunger hormones are also produced in the brain which can compensate which is why hunger comes back in varying degrees for both sleeve & bypass.

Ooh, thanks for the info @Arabesque. I’ve obviously misunderstood something at the education session. I wonder what it was? The nurse definitely said something was different regarding hormones when comparing the two surgeries 🤷‍♀️ It’s support group tonight so I can clear up my misunderstanding while I’m there! The hormone thing was the issue that was causing me to err on having bypass instead of sleeve, should I have a choice 🙂

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

You are doing amazingly, and I love hearing about your week & journey in general!

Really sorry to hear about your partner's comments - they definitely don't realise how upsetting they can be. Though that is no excuse, and emotional intelligence can go a long way! I hope you are okay ❤️

[MrsFitz 440]

12 hours ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

You are doing amazingly, and I love hearing about your week & journey in general!

Really sorry to hear about your partner's comments - they definitely don't realise how upsetting they can be. Though that is no excuse, and emotional intelligence can go a long way! I hope you are okay ❤️

I’m OK, just annoyed with him for thinking that I wouldn’t notice that something was wrong and then telling me that actually nothing was wrong 😑 Honestly, they say women are bad but he has me beaten hands down in the sulky behaviour stakes, bloody idiot 🤔 Good job I still love him eh??

@Arabesque- yep, completely misunderstood the hormone stuff so thank you for setting me straight with my misunderstanding 😘 This is why this forum is so great!