Let's Talk GRIEF! An ongoing thread about bariatric grief!

[Mspretty86 90]

I think it's always Good to talk about GRIEF and anger. Yesterday I was driving around Houston Texas running errands and the overwhelming grief took hold. If anyone has visited Texas you know our food is TOP tier so much seasoning so much flavor.

I grieve not pulling in the drive thru after shopping. (Taco Bell, What-A-Burger, Shipleys Donuts)!

I GRIEVE OUR ever so plentiful TACO TRUCKS at 2am where I would order 10 street tacos and a burrito with the red/green sauce

I grieve boba TEA

I grieve the comforts

I grieve just being able to drink alot at one time. Who knew that a few sips of Water could make you so full

In noticing the griefs you become aware of how addicted you were to the food and the feeling. Sighs*

Edited August 11 by Mspretty86

[SecretAgentDD 41]

I feel this!! I too have had weird moments/days where I’m in mourning for how things used to be. It’s those days where I have to pull out my list of things I can do that are caring behaviors instead of eating. Sometimes I can pull myself out the funk in a few hours, other times it’s a day of just mentally feeling crappy and sad. Things aren’t how they used to be, and they won’t ever be that way again. That road was a path of disordered eating and pain. I never want to go back to those feelings again either. I try to remind myself of that pain and I’d rather mourn the food and move forward with my life.

[Mspretty86 90]

27 minutes ago, SecretAgentDD said:

I feel this!! I too have had weird moments/days where I’m in mourning for how things used to be. It’s those days where I have to pull out my list of things I can do that are caring behaviors instead of eating. Sometimes I can pull myself out the funk in a few hours, other times it’s a day of just mentally feeling crappy and sad. Things aren’t how they used to be, and they won’t ever be that way again. That road was a path of disordered eating and pain. I never want to go back to those feelings again either. I try to remind myself of that pain and I’d rather mourn the food and move forward with my life.

It is definitely a rough one for sure! I agree with you I never want go back to old habits! Atleast once a month I'm angry and grieving 😂. I have to laugh to keep from crying!

[JennyBeez 283]

I grieve the convenience of high fat/sugar/calorie foods. The ability to go anywhere with friends or family for a meal and not have to worry about 'will I be able to find something I can eat?' and cruising the menu online first.

I grieve being able to go to my comfort foods for emotional comfort rather than having to actually work through it. Even though I'm happier, overall / in the long run, when I first sink into a bad mood that first little while is rough.

I don't really grieve the particular foods themselves (yet?) -- but I think that's a mental block on my part at the moment; so many foods have been giving me problems that the idea of many food types make me feel ill, and the idea of anything greasy or fatty makes me downright nauseated.
(Seriously, I had a conversation with my mother last week about pepperoni and her stomach issues when she eats pizza, and just picturing pepperoni had me breathing through my nose trying not to gag lol)

(I do grieve that on excruciatingly hot days at work, when the guys make a run for iced-capps , there's no soothing ice slushy to make my afternoon more bearable.)

[Mspretty86 90]

I want a donut 😩 and I want a sonic shake 😩. I'm livid.

[SecretAgentDD 41]

The best thing I can do to overcome this crap feeling is take a walk or do something creative. You’ve got to find some way to distract yourself. It’s ok to acknowledge and feel the grief, but you’ve got to take yourself out of the situation and find a healthier habit. Practice some self love by making a caring choice to redirect yourself. I don’t mean to come off as dismissive here because I KNOW it sucks. You have to find a way to navigate this and manage these cravings and feelings moving forward by putting healthy habits in place. You’re worth the effort and care. ❤️

[Mspretty86 90]

43 minutes ago, SecretAgentDD said:

The best thing I can do to overcome this crap feeling is take a walk or do something creative. You’ve got to find some way to distract yourself. It’s ok to acknowledge and feel the grief, but you’ve got to take yourself out of the situation and find a healthier habit. Practice some self love by making a caring choice to redirect yourself. I don’t mean to come off as dismissive here because I KNOW it sucks. You have to find a way to navigate this and manage these cravings and feelings moving forward by putting healthy habits in place. You’re worth the effort and care. ❤️

Girl thanks! Girl this thread is about grief I post what I grieve but 4 months in and I'm down close to 100 pounds and Run 5 miles daily trust me it don't get no more creative. It dosent stop me from wanting a hamburger 🍔 or a shake tho! I will never go backwards I worked to hard for this body. #bariatricbabe 😂😂.

Edited August 12 by Mspretty86

[AmberFL 627]

I think the emotional eating and not being able to turn to food/alcohol was really hard for me in the begin of this journey. I now can work through it and distract myself. I am with you, I workout like a mad man to try and distract me from the food but I still want a fat cheeseburger with bread and all the sauces, with the fries and side of ranch, drinking it down with a chocolate shake LOL

[Mspretty86 90]

23 minutes ago, AmberFL said:

I think the emotional eating and not being able to turn to food/alcohol was really hard for me in the begin of this journey. I now can work through it and distract myself. I am with you, I workout like a mad man to try and distract me from the food but I still want a fat cheeseburger with bread and all the sauces, with the fries and side of ranch, drinking it down with a chocolate shake LOL

Amber my Girl! The hamburger and the sauces 😩😩 plus shake...a bariatric girl can DREAM . I am such a foodie but have turned into a healthy bariatric foodie. I made a bomb Califlower pizza. We got this! One day @ a time!

[AmberFL 627]

16 hours ago, Mspretty86 said:

Amber my Girl! The hamburger and the sauces 😩😩 plus shake...a bariatric girl can DREAM . I am such a foodie but have turned into a healthy bariatric foodie. I made a bomb Califlower pizza. We got this! One day @ a time!

oooo if you have any recipes please share! I love cooking and eating haha! So I love finding and trying new recipes that fit into my macros!

Edited August 13 by AmberFL

[NickelChip 1,114]

It's not so much the particular foods I grieve, but I really miss not having to worry that something I eat will land wrong and make me sick. I used to have an Iron stomach. Even through two pregnancies, I never had morning sickness. Now, I swallow a piece of broccoli that I only chewed 99 times instead of 100, even though broccoli was fine yesterday, and I'm in agony for an hour before it finally comes back up.

But MsPretty, since you're from Texas you'll understand this one: I grieve brisket. I went to a local farm that does this amazing BBQ on the weekends and I was only able to eat 3 bites of brisket before I was full. So I took home the leftovers and I couldn't eat them because reheating the meat dried it out enough that it made me sick

[Mspretty86 90]

18 minutes ago, NickelChip said:

It's not so much the particular foods I grieve, but I really miss not having to worry that something I eat will land wrong and make me sick. I used to have an Iron stomach. Even through two pregnancies, I never had morning sickness. Now, I swallow a piece of broccoli that I only chewed 99 times instead of 100, even though broccoli was fine yesterday, and I'm in agony for an hour before it finally comes back up.

But MsPretty, since you're from Texas you'll understand this one: I grieve brisket. I went to a local farm that does this amazing BBQ on the weekends and I was only able to eat 3 bites of brisket before I was full. So I took home the leftovers and I couldn't eat them because reheating the meat dried it out enough that it made me sick

Nickelchip im sorry I had to chuckle very loudly when you stated you could chew a peice of broccoli and be in agony. That is the same way I feel about chicken for some reason it feels like it gets stuck in my chest and I want to throw it against the damn wall. Some days me and chicken can have the perfect love affair. Ohhhhhhh heaven heaven is Brisket and again I'm with you! *sighs. This is my birthday week and I'm already fantasizing about the bar b q I will eat; To only get full on a few Chomps 😡

[NickelChip 1,114]

OMG, I am so tired of chicken! It's the one thing I can usually eat without issues, which means I order a stupid garden salad with grilled chicken (dressing on the side), every single time I go to a restaurant now. But if I reheat leftover chicken, it almost always makes me ill, with the exception of ground chicken.

You know, I'm getting used to the 3oz portion size, so if I could eat a full 3oz of something like brisket, I would be satisfied. Chewing it would take like 30 minutes anyway. But when you get only one or two bites in and you can't manage another, that's disappointing. Not only do you not get to enjoy the flavor of something tasty, but you don't even hit your Protein goal for that meal, which is just adding insult to injury in my opinion.

[JennyBeez 283]

21 hours ago, NickelChip said:

... But when you get only one or two bites in and you can't manage another, that's disappointing. Not only do you not get to enjoy the flavor of something tasty, but you don't even hit your Protein goal for that meal, which is just adding insult to injury in my opinion.

Ugh, I feel you. One of the things that irks me the most about troublesome foods is having to cut my Protein short -- or getting ill and losing what little I got down. I seem to have trouble with chicken even before it's been reheated -- again, other than ground. Lately beef has been giving me problems too, other than barbacoa brisket from my local burrito place.

Oh, other than Jerky? I found a no sugar /sweetener added beef jerky that has given me absolutely no issues and is nicely high in protein. It takes me close to an hour to eat a 30g serving but it's helpful to stash at the office for an afternoon snack.< br />

Today, I realized I grieve dim sum. I don't know if it's the socialness, the overall experience or the food itself -- or some combination of the three. I've had some steamed Korean dumplings a few weeks ago and just didn't eat much of the dumpling wrapper itself, and have been able to eat shrimp siu mai at a Japanese restaurant. But being able to go to a dim sum restaurant and eat whatever they pass by with -- without having to interrogate them about ingredients or cooking methods -- I will miss that.

[Mspretty86 90]

On 8/13/2024 at 9:36 AM, AmberFL said:

oooo if you have any recipes please share! I love cooking and eating haha! So I love finding and trying new recipes that fit into my macros!