Is it wrong?

[Mandapanda@ 8]

So I'm in the liquid phase, post op surgery and am a little over a week in and I miss food. I understand attachments to food is what got me here, but is it really wrong to miss food? I spoke with my therapist this morning and she said to be careful not to glamorize food. I'm not sure how to think about this. I told her I still want to enjoy food, or get enjoyment out of food later on. Am I wrong to feel this way? I understand it's more about fueling our bodies and of course I want the right foods to keep improving my health. But are we expected to never enjoy food again after bariatric surgery?????

thoughts??

thanks

[FifiLux 464]

No you are not wrong, we can enjoy food and drink eventually but realise we have to make sensible choices or we could go back to where we were pre-op.

I think the way to think about it going forward is that you will still enjoy food just smaller portions, and depending on what your diet was like pre-op, maybe healthier choices. Some of your tastes may change from like to dislike or the opposite but you can enjoy and savour the smaller bites.

Also during the liquid phase you are most certainly going to miss the thought of other food, I mean seriously who would prefer a bowl of flavoured dishwater Soup vs something like a pizza or steak dinner?

I am now a year out following my sleeve and cook the food I like but just eat in smaller portions and I go out about once a week for a lunch or dinner and enjoy the food - plus I enjoy it usually again the next day with the leftovers I bring home.

[GreenTealael 25,385]

7 hours ago, Mandapanda@ said:

I spoke with my therapist this morning and she said to be careful not to glamorize food.

I think you should consider listening to your provider. If you are trying to change your relationship with food, try to follow through with the steps/plans you create to do this. It is probably very hard but I hope you are successful.

[Arabesque 7,335]

I wonder if your therapist just chose the wrong word. I think we all enjoy food (stimulating all the senses) but what we don’t do (or try not to do) is rely on it as a comfort or let it take up a great deal of our thinking. So may be glamorise wasn’t the best word and focus or fixate may have been better. But they should have given you some strategies to help. You may have to ask for some the next time you meet.

You know that old adage of eating to live not living to eat? For many of us that is what it is like now. I still love to go out to restaurants with family & friends. I still like to try new foods. I still like the taste, smell, texture, & sight of food. I still love to cook & try new recipes. I just watch portions, ingredients, cooking styles, frequency, etc. & make adjustments accordingly and also make the best choices I can in the situation. But a lot of that has become second nature now & don’t think about it much.

If you were someone who used food to comfort or sooth yourself, the first weeks after surgery can be challenging. Your emotions can be all over the place & you may be stressed, anxious, teary, …. If when you felt like this before surgery you turned to food you may want food more now simply because you can’t which can also make you more emotional. Plus being restricted about what you eat can often make you crave the food you can’t have even more. Though challenging, these things are temporary, not long term & certainly not forever.

In the meantime try distracting yourself when you find the food voices in your head too loud or you think you may hungry. It’s a great strategy we all use. Go for a walk (as you’re able), read a book, craft, ring a friend or family member, play a game or do a puzzle, check your socials (like this forum), meditate, etc. Sometimes a warm drink can be helpful like green or herbal tea (counts to your Fluid goal too - yay!).

All the best.

[Fars 34]

I think we ar meant to enjoy food - just mindfully and in moderation

[FifiLux 464]

11 hours ago, Arabesque said:

I wonder if your therapist just chose the wrong word. I think we all enjoy food (stimulating all the senses) but what we don’t do (or try not to do) is rely on it as a comfort or let it take up a great deal of our thinking. So may be glamorise wasn’t the best word and focus or fixate may have been better. But they should have given you some strategies to help. You may have to ask for some the next time you meet.

Yes, I think it is just a case that maybe the wrong word was used which is unhelpful and can cause doubt and anxiousness.

Maybe the therapist is just tying to get the point across to not let food control you going forward and not to just focus on being able to eat what you want again but do the steps to get to the right mindset so you get the best life out of the surgery.

[JennyBeez 287]

I too think your therapist could have chosen her words more carefully. (I also want to point out that if she's a therapist rather than a nutritionist, nurse practitioner, etc, while I would hope she would have training specifically to support body image, eating disorders and other related topics, it may just not be her specialty. She might not have the right vocabulary to be as helpful as another might.)

I feel like it makes sense that post-op, the focus is definitely on Eating For Nutrition rather than enjoyment. Obviously we want things to taste good, but that especially in the beginning when taste buds and hormones are readjusting, sometimes we need to focus on eating to recover and survive and heal, or what we can manage to get down if we're having a phase of lack of appetite, etc. As we heal and as we move through different stages of our diet, we'll naturally move towards making our meals more delicious while maintaining the healthy benefits we need.

Is it possible that your therapist misinterpreted your comments about missing food? Maybe you said you miss food, but were particularly missing solid and textured foods and things with a variety of flavour and they heard it as "I miss being able to eat half a pie or an entire pizza for dinner because it comforted me emotionally". Either way, I would've liked for them to say "Hey, it's temporary, food gets better" and "have you tried putting a bit of splenda and unsweetened cocoa powder on your yogurt, or put some fresh herbs in your broth and strain them out after simmering for 30 min".

[Mandapanda@ 8]

Thank you all for your replies, ♥️

[learn2cook 580]

There was this video of Julia Child making an amazing meal for herself. This was after her husband had died. Including shopping and chopping it took several hours. Then she made an elegant table for one outside in the shade near a brook. There was wine, linen napkin, several courses, polished forks, multiple plates of fine china. I remember thinking “this woman is nuts to make such a mess to clean up all for herself.”

Then her words (very approximate!), “Cooking for me is a creative making and sensual process. I’m also worth celebrating and nurturing. So why not make a fuss over myself once a day?”

She put me in my place! So, it’s the nurturing and creative outlet that’s important.

Our new life goals are to figure out what creative outlets we like (because we’ve been doing too much ‘nurturing’ with the food). Maybe it’s something from our childhood. Make a bucket list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do but were afraid, and try them one at a time. Keep using them to nurture yourself.

[Hiddenroses 106]

On 7/31/2024 at 10:59 PM, Arabesque said:

I wonder if your therapist just chose the wrong word. I think we all enjoy food (stimulating all the senses) but what we don’t do (or try not to do) is rely on it as a comfort or let it take up a great deal of our thinking. So may be glamorize wasn’t the best word and focus or fixate may have been better. But they should have given you some strategies to help. You may have to ask for some the next time you meet.

You know that old adage of eating to live not living to eat? For many of us that is what it is like now. I still love to go out to restaurants with family & friends. I still like to try new foods. I still like the taste, smell, texture, & sight of food. I still love to cook & try new recipes. I just watch portions, ingredients, cooking styles, frequency, etc. & make adjustments accordingly and also make the best choices I can in the situation. But a lot of that has become second nature now & don’t think about it much.

If you were someone who used food to comfort or sooth yourself, the first weeks after surgery can be challenging. Your emotions can be all over the place & you may be stressed, anxious, teary, …. If when you felt like this before surgery you turned to food you may want food more now simply because you can’t which can also make you more emotional. Plus being restricted about what you eat can often make you crave the food you can’t have even more. Though challenging, these things are temporary, not long term & certainly not forever.

In the meantime try distracting yourself when you find the food voices in your head too loud or you think you may hungry. It’s a great strategy we all use. Go for a walk (as you’re able), read a book, craft, ring a friend or family member, play a game or do a puzzle, check your socials (like this forum), meditate, etc. Sometimes a warm drink can be helpful like green or herbal tea (counts to your Fluid goal too - yay!).

All the best.

I feel like you're exactly right and your post was really well worded. I bet that's what the therapist meant as well - and boy oh boy are you on target with an 'adjustment period' being needed when you're used to turning to food for comfort! I had a couple of weepy episodes during this week quite unexpectedly when I didn't even feel hungry. Maybe it was the thought of an upcoming major surgery (I've never had major surgery) but I also think it was the sense of 'forced control' and the knowledge that I couldn't turn to chocolate or pizza to make me feel better, even if I wanted to. Maybe I was kind of 'mourning' the lost of that coping mechanism -- but I do think the fact that my taste buds are changing is going to be helpful, personally.

[Hiddenroses 106]

On 7/31/2024 at 11:17 AM, Mandapanda@ said:

So I'm in the liquid phase, post op surgery and am a little over a week in and I miss food. I understand attachments to food is what got me here, but is it really wrong to miss food? I spoke with my therapist this morning and she said to be careful not to glamorize food. I'm not sure how to think about this. I told her I still want to enjoy food, or get enjoyment out of food later on. Am I wrong to feel this way? I understand it's more about fueling our bodies and of course I want the right foods to keep improving my health. But are we expected to never enjoy food again after bariatric surgery?????

thoughts??

thanks

I bet I will be right there with you in a week, honestly, so please don't feel alone. I DO feel that it is totally ok to be looking forward to *real food* and wonder if your therapist wasn't using that word to prepare you for the fact that maybe food will end up tasting differently once you DO go back to it? I know my taste buds have changed a lot just during this liquid diet phase, and it makes me think of how when I stopped drinking soda my mind would be like 'Ooh a Coke sounds so NICE' but then I'd go to take a sip and it just.. tasted awful.

My Chantix has caused the same effect for me regarding cigarettes. Once in a while I get to thinking that I want one, but because of the medicine even if I take a puff it doesn't taste good or satisfying AT ALL. There are some things that I used to not particularly enjoy that I'm now finding I like, though, like hot lemon Water, well salted vegetables, and chicken/salmon much more than say - a burger. I'm not sure what is causing my change in preferences, I know in part is is the no-sugar, but it's also just across the board. I even rinse my mouth after the shakes and don't like the drink mix I used to use very much.

I agree wholly with what others have posted here - It's fine to enjoy food, we'll just be enjoying it in a different way once we ramp back up to being able to eat it, and any sugary indulgences will have a cost-ratio we'll have to consider when we DO decide to treat ourselves. So glad you posted here, and hope you're doing well! My surgery is the morning of August 5th - I'm having a virgin SADI - a sleeve plus revision style surgery to my intestines all at once as my first WLS.