An irksome week

[JennyBeez 287]

I've had a very up-and-down sort of week, mentally/emotionally (and weight-wise too, I guess).

It started in that I'd finally gotten out of a stall, and everything stayed good for 10 days or so? And then a week with absolutely no weightloss. On the back of a stall, it just crushed my spirit. I said fine, by next week it'll be better, stay off the scale... and instead I hopped back on 2 days later to a 1.4lb gain. I think I went into a sort of zombie-state. I was still doing what I needed to (work-wise, diet-wise, exercise-wise) but it was like some kind of emotional shock: I was functioning but apathetic about pretty much everything. My brain and heart just couldn't take it, and shut down.

Then the physical side. I'm sure it will surprise nobody here, but when you're behaving kind of like an automaton you don't pay enough attention to things like time, or specifically eating slowly. Cue the foamies and vomitting. I think four times in the past week. Luckily, most of the time I caught it early enough to prevent anything too intense, but yeah. I'd thought I was smart enough / experienced enough at this point to learn from my mistakes, but that one I just kept making. Afterwards, the lingering nausea kept me from eating enough -- so the Protein goals were not met for five days in a row. (Until I found Greek Yogurt Cheesecake pudding which turned things around so I was exceeding my goals)

I'm doing better-ish, now? I still feel mildly dissociated, but the past couple days it's been like... life & energy slowly returning and my mood improving. The universe waited for me to be in a better mental place, and all of a sudden knocked 4 lbs off the scale this morning. Sunday, I had a great NSV that I didn't feel hit me until today -- I'm wearing a 1X for the first time in over a decade. (Top and bottom, which is another NSV because ever since my late 20s, my bottom has always required me to go one size up from whatever shirt size I was wearing)

But even this NSV, I'm able to acknowledge it and told a couple people about it because I knew they'd be happy for me, but it still just all feels pretty superficial. I only seem to be able to get excited and enthused about other peoples' good news, lol.

[AmberFL 813]

Kind of feel like a broken record from what everyone says but....STALLS HAPPEN! Also, its okay to have imperfect days, were human, give yourself grace. I freaked out when I had mine so I totally get it! but your doing amazing!! Just from your profile pics I can see the changes in your face, you have lost 88lbs! to put that in perspective, that is my 7yr old and 2yr weight combined! you lost two little people lol

Now your wearing a 1x?! damn killing it!! Keep doing what your doing it will come off, and focus on those NSV's they make all the difference!

[Spinoza 1,403]

Absolutely normal to experience stalls after surgery OP. We all have them - and I mean ALL.

What matters is how we react to them. They can be demoralising, demotivating, de-everything!!

I do see that you have included the words zombie, dissociated, automaton, emotional shock, shut down, apathetic, superficial and others - in just one post about a stall.

I totally understand that this might result from an in depth knowledge of the psychology of weight loss, or just psychology generally. I do hope that you can focus on how well you have done (and will do!) and are having lots of support from wherever you can get it.

[JennyBeez 287]

I think I was just so happy to be out of the stall, that the possibility of going back into it a week later sucked the spirit out of me. I didn't have the emotional energy in me to even feel properly upset -- or maybe, some part of my brain is trying to protect me from that?

But clearly I am still having the feelings somewhere deep down -- cause last night, man, the nightmare I had about anxiety and eating half a box of fruit Creme Peek Freans in the dark.

I've gotten through enough mental health issues in the past that the logical part of my brain knows I'll get through this kind of shut-down phase, but sometimes its just harder to waddle through the mire.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

I think sometimes our bodies kind of freak out when lots of changes are happening at once. As you lose weight, things redistribute, move around, the chemical make up of your insides change, hormones change, glucose, cholesterol, and blood pressure all change. So even when the scale isn't moving, so many things are happening within our bodies that it likely needs time to catch up and get use to the new and ongoing changes before the weight can start to come off again. I know how frustrating it is, believe me. The amazing people on here had to talk me off the ledge a few times when I hit stall after stall. And I'm one that gains a few pounds whenever I hit a stall, so THAT was always fun lol But then I would drop like 6 pounds in 1 shot and then I knew the stall was over. I know this is so frustrating, but it'll pass. And you'll get to where you want to be. It took me 2 years to get where I am now. And I still feel that was fast. It took me almost 30 years to put the weight on, so getting it off in 2 years is HUGE. Give yourself some grace, feel your feelings, and just focus on all the good parts of this journey. You'll be ok and you'll get there

[MrsFitz 441]

Hope you’re feeling a little better now @JennyBeez?

[JennyBeez 287]

On 7/27/2024 at 2:08 PM, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

The amazing people on here had to talk me off the ledge a few times when I hit stall after stall.

Ohhh, this makes me feel so much better. Internally, almost as soon as I posted my inner voice was all "Stop complaining, everyone stalls, nobody wants to hear it," but the rest of me was just needing something to break through the deadened emotions with some logic & care. Even now I feel a little guilty for taking up people's time with all this, lol.

@MrsFitz, yes, feeling much better after this weekend, thank you! Feeling back in the positive range again. I think being able to get outside to nature this weekend (more than is possible for me during the week) definitely was a boost.

Looking back, I think I was afraid to feel the scary negative emotions & worries, so I just kinda shut everything down. Not the healthiest, but everything is get-throughable.