I realized this might help others post - surgery

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,475]

I made this post in another thread as a response to someone else, and then I realized it's something that might help others after they've had their surgery and find themselves struggling. Maybe you're seeing an increase in hormones all of a sudden...maybe you're discovering there's a lot more work involved in getting and keeping the results you need after having the surgery. Maybe you're struggling to change your relationship with food. Whatever the case is, maybe this will help

"I never really had the emotional ups and downs, mostly because at the time I had PCOS, and the influx of estrogen from both my surgeries actually normalized my hormones for a few months each time lol What I DID have, however, is the emotional issues that came with changing my relationship with food. I had NO IDEA that would be a thing lol

Changing what you eat, how you eat, when and why you eat, how often you eat is like breaking up with a toxic partner. You've been together for a REALLY long time, and even though you KNOW it's a terrible, unhealthy relationship, it's really all you know and you're so dependent on it you don't think you can function without it. And now you have to figure out how to.

You have to completely retrain your brain, learn the difference between true hunger and head hunger (there is an actual, real difference), and you have to learn to read the nutrition labels, track your calories and Protein and carbs, work out, don't cheat (and don't make excuse after excuse and justification after justification for why you went back to the toxic relationship even after you knew it was bad for you, yet still gave in), measure food, track fluids, take HONEST accountability for your actions (which isn't something most of us had been particularly good at) and make adjustments as needed to stay as compliant as possible for the long haul.

Contrary to what so many think, there's actually a LOT of work that has to happen after the surgery. The surgery itself is just a tool. It's not a miracle cure. It won't fix all the issues if you don't put in the actual work. Just eating smaller amounts without making any of the necessary changes isn't enough, and that's a hard lesson many learn later on. All of this is such a mind eff, and takes a toll on a person. It's a lot of changes, and a lot of work, thrown at a person all at once. And no matter how ready you think you are, it can still cause so much emotional turmoil, and understandably so.

What I, and so many, don't realize is that we all have ED (eating disorders) in order to get to being obese and morbidly obese (or in some cases, super morbidly obese). It's not just anorexia or bulimia. I genuinely didn't know that. We have to retrain our brains to get out of that, and sometimes that requires help, and we have to be ok with getting that help. And because we have to do that, we then get incredibly frustrated and defeated feeling when the weight comes off slower than we thought it would, or we hit stalls (or in my case, stall after stall after stall - which is COMPLETELY normal, by the way, and should be expected).

I said all of this to say there's SO many different reasons we can have emotions all over the place. Influx of hormones all at once, changes in relationship with food, changes in routines and increase in the things we don't particularly like doing (or not doing anymore), learning we have to do a lot of work to get and maintain the results we want after the surgery, learning PATIENCE with the rate of weight loss and trusting the process (easier said than done, believe me, I know), realizing that body dysmorphia is REAL and we can and do struggle with seeing ourselves as anything other than our formerly obese selves (I'm 182 pounds and I still see 421 pounds sometimes when I look in the mirror), and of course, Hair loss (also COMPLETELY normal, and will eventually stop). You won't go bald, there's nothing to prevent it or stop it, you need to increase your Protein, Biotin doesn't slow it down, and it's a COMPLETELY normal part of the process that many of us don't know about until it happens and then we freak out.

So give yourself some grace and just know this is normal. You're doing great, and we're all here for you, just like everyone was here for me "

Edited July 8 by SleeveToBypass2023

[Bypass2Freedom 474]

This is really helpful to read, especially as someone with PCOS. Thank you for sharing ❤️

I genuinely have found this site to be incredibly helpful in the time leading up to my surgery, and even more so now I am post-surgery.

Knowing some of the things to expect, and having answers at the ready from so many people who share this experience is invaluable.

Thank you again ❤️

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,475]

3 minutes ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

This is really helpful to read, especially as someone with PCOS. Thank you for sharing ❤️

I genuinely have found this site to be incredibly helpful in the time leading up to my surgery, and even more so now I am post-surgery.

Knowing some of the things to expect, and having answers at the ready from so many people who share this experience is invaluable.

Thank you again ❤️

Of course If this post helps even a couple of people, I'm glad I wrote it at 3am lol There's so much to learn on here, and the OGs have a lot of wisdom, and hard truths, to impart of the newbies lol I always want to help. Yes, I get frustrated when advice is ignored and then someone comes on and complains that they gained weight, or the weight isn't coming off. But I try to remember that it's a learning curve, and we all stumble and fall on this journey. You just have to be willing to take accountability for your actions, get up, and start again. I'm proud of every single person here who made the decision to save their lives by getting this surgery. It's life changing, and life saving. And I know first hand that many of us have a food addiction that got us into this, and it's up to us, in combination with the surgery, to get ourselves out of it. If I, and the others here that have done it, can help anyone else along the way, we're very happy to

[Bypass2Freedom 474]

Just now, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

Of course If this post helps even a couple of people, I'm glad I wrote it at 3am lol There's so much to learn on here, and the OGs have a lot of wisdom, and hard truths, to impart of the newbies lol I always want to help. Yes, I get frustrated when advice is ignored and then someone comes on and complains that they gained weight, or the weight isn't coming off. But I try to remember that it's a learning curve, and we all stumble and fall on this journey. You just have to be willing to take accountability for your actions, get up, and start again. I'm proud of every single person here who made the decision to save their lives by getting this surgery. It's life changing, and life saving. And I know first hand that many of us have a food addiction that got us into this, and it's up to us, in combination with the surgery, to get ourselves out of it. If I, and the others here that have done it, can help anyone else along the way, we're very happy to

Sometimes we have the best ideas at 3am 🤣

Very much the case - I know I am guilty of not realising just how much work goes into this post-surgery, even with being well informed. There is a difference between reading about it, and living it!

It is so strange to me now to look back on how I was, even though I am not too far out yet - I was binge eating on a massive scale, and my weight was just rising so quickly. I think back to that little 12 year old girl I used to be, who struggled with her weight back then, and I genuinely feel grief for her.

This surgery has given me the ability to not be controlled by food - yes, it is still important, but I don't think about it 24/7, I don't have to crave sugar and I feel so much better already.

And you guys on this site have all contributed to me just biting the bullet and going for it with the surgery!

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,475]

2 minutes ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

Sometimes we have the best ideas at 3am 🤣

Very much the case - I know I am guilty of not realizing just how much work goes into this post-surgery, even with being well informed. There is a difference between reading about it, and living it!

It is so strange to me now to look back on how I was, even though I am not too far out yet - I was binge eating on a massive scale, and my weight was just rising so quickly. I think back to that little 12 year old girl I used to be, who struggled with her weight back then, and I genuinely feel grief for her.

This surgery has given me the ability to not be controlled by food - yes, it is still important, but I don't think about it 24/7, I don't have to crave sugar and I feel so much better already.

And you guys on this site have all contributed to me just biting the bullet and going for it with the surgery!

I definitely should be sleeping lol I have to get up at 5:30 for work and it's now 3:40am. Ugh... WHY do I do this to myself???

So many think that the prep before the surgery, and the recovery from the surgery, and the first 6 weeks post-surgery is the hard part. Then they can just go back to eating what they want, just in smaller portions. They don't really make any changes, unless their taste buds change or they develop any food allergies. And they don't incorporate much in the way of exercise because they just think the surgery and eating way smaller amounts will be enough. And a few years down the road, AFTER the work has been done and you're maintaining your goal weight for a few years, that might very well be the case for SOME (not all) people. I've even seen it on here. But that is most DEFINITELY not the case the first year, or sometimes (in my case, for example) not even the first 2 years (although I choose not to even try, personally. I like how I eat, live, look, and feel and it's not worth it to incorporate any of the bad foods I use to eat back into my diet "just because I can").

The first year or 2 is really for doing the work, and many don't realize how much goes into that. Like you said, reading it and living it are 2 very different things. The work still has to be done, but giving yourself grace in understanding why there's such a struggle with it can go a long way in helping deal with it and move on from it.

[Bypass2Freedom 474]

3 minutes ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

I definitely should be sleeping lol I have to get up at 5:30 for work and it's now 3:40am. Ugh... WHY do I do this to myself???

So many think that the prep before the surgery, and the recovery from the surgery, and the first 6 weeks post-surgery is the hard part. Then they can just go back to eating what they want, just in smaller portions. They don't really make any changes, unless their taste buds change or they develop any food allergies. And they don't incorporate much in the way of exercise because they just think the surgery and eating way smaller amounts will be enough. And a few years down the road, AFTER the work has been done and you're maintaining your goal weight for a few years, that might very well be the case for SOME (not all) people. I've even seen it on here. But that is most DEFINITELY not the case the first year, or sometimes (in my case, for example) not even the first 2 years (although I choose not to even try, personally. I like how I eat, live, look, and feel and it's not worth it to incorporate any of the bad foods I use to eat back into my diet "just because I can").

The first year or 2 is really for doing the work, and many don't realize how much goes into that. Like you said, reading it and living it are 2 very different things. The work still has to be done, but giving yourself grace in understanding why there's such a struggle with it can go a long way in helping deal with it and move on from it.

Definitely try and get some sleep! 😂

This is definitely the case! I know myself that I need to focus a little bit more on my Water intake - then hopefully I shall feel a bit more energy!

I have been back to the gym in the last week and started walking more, and I will be having a personal trainer come the 1st August so I know I am going to be putting my weight loss & health first! Which is surprisingly exciting haha.

[NickelChip 1,113]

Thank you for posting this! This is very timely for me because I've just gotten back from vacation and am struggling. The kids are off school and underfoot. The house is a mess with things to be washed and put away from vacation. My routine is off and I'm not getting enough sleep. The fridge was empty when I got home and I lacked the energy to meal plan, so I now have a fridge of random food I picked up and hope I can turn into meals. We came home with way too many snack foods and sweets and now that they're in the house, the temptation is at an all-time high and my motivation to follow the rules and do what I know I need to do is feeling very low.

[ShoppGirl 4,308]

It’s funny that you posted this now. I have my psyc eval this morning and I know the drill from last time but I always kinda wondered why they don't just require ongoing therapy with weight loss surgery until the dr feels we are done instead of making us walk on eggshells afraid we won’t pass some one time evaluation proving we don't have any eating disorders when the reality is most of us could still benefit from some expert help when it comes to our eating habits and the mental aspect of it all. Maybe not for diagnosable eating disorders but for disordered eating behaviors which every human who says I’ve had a bad day and I want chocolate to feel better has to some degree. It just seems like it makes more sense to throw all the tools into the mix. They probably would have less revisions to pay for that way.

Edited July 8 by ShoppGirl

[learn2cook 555]

On 07/08/2024 at 05:09, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

I made this post in another thread as a response to someone else, and then I realized it's something that might help others after they've had their surgery and find themselves struggling. Maybe you're seeing an increase in hormones all of a sudden...maybe you're discovering there's a lot more work involved in getting and keeping the results you need after having the surgery. Maybe you're struggling to change your relationship with food. Whatever the case is, maybe this will help

"I never really had the emotional ups and downs, mostly because at the time I had PCOS, and the influx of estrogen from both my surgeries actually normalized my hormones for a few months each time lol What I DID have, however, is the emotional issues that came with changing my relationship with food. I had NO IDEA that would be a thing lol

Changing what you eat, how you eat, when and why you eat, how often you eat is like breaking up with a toxic partner. You've been together for a REALLY long time, and even though you KNOW it's a terrible, unhealthy relationship, it's really all you know and you're so dependent on it you don't think you can function without it. And now you have to figure out how to.

You have to completely retrain your brain, learn the difference between true hunger and head hunger (there is an actual, real difference), and you have to learn to read the nutrition labels, track your calories and Protein and carbs, work out, don't cheat (and don't make excuse after excuse and justification after justification for why you went back to the toxic relationship even after you knew it was bad for you, yet still gave in), measure food, track fluids, take HONEST accountability for your actions (which isn't something most of us had been particularly good at) and make adjustments as needed to stay as compliant as possible for the long haul.

Contrary to what so many think, there's actually a LOT of work that has to happen after the surgery. The surgery itself is just a tool. It's not a miracle cure. It won't fix all the issues if you don't put in the actual work. Just eating smaller amounts without making any of the necessary changes isn't enough, and that's a hard lesson many learn later on. All of this is such a mind eff, and takes a toll on a person. It's a lot of changes, and a lot of work, thrown at a person all at once. And no matter how ready you think you are, it can still cause so much emotional turmoil, and understandably so.

What I, and so many, don't realize is that we all have ED (eating disorders) in order to get to being obese and morbidly obese (or in some cases, super morbidly obese). It's not just anorexia or bulimia. I genuinely didn't know that. We have to retrain our brains to get out of that, and sometimes that requires help, and we have to be ok with getting that help. And because we have to do that, we then get incredibly frustrated and defeated feeling when the weight comes off slower than we thought it would, or we hit stalls (or in my case, stall after stall after stall - which is COMPLETELY normal, by the way, and should be expected).

I said all of this to say there's SO many different reasons we can have emotions all over the place. Influx of hormones all at once, changes in relationship with food, changes in routines and increase in the things we don't particularly like doing (or not doing anymore), learning we have to do a lot of work to get and maintain the results we want after the surgery, learning PATIENCE with the rate of weight loss and trusting the process (easier said than done, believe me, I know), realizing that body dysmorphia is REAL and we can and do struggle with seeing ourselves as anything other than our formerly obese selves (I'm 182 pounds and I still see 421 pounds sometimes when I look in the mirror), and of course, Hair loss (also COMPLETELY normal, and will eventually stop). You won't go bald, there's nothing to prevent it or stop it, you need to increase your Protein, Biotin doesn't slow it down, and it's a COMPLETELY normal part of the process that many of us don't know about until it happens and then we freak out.

So give yourself some grace and just know this is normal. You're doing great, and we're all here for you, just like everyone was here for me "

I soooo feel this!
I think I’m going to try OA again because they’re cheaper than a therapist. I hope they don’t hate on me for WLS, I get so sick of explaining WLS is medical help for a health problem like glasses for seeing. I think I’m due for a psych tune up.