Having doubts.. lost a lot pre surgery.

[Jordan.RNY 6]

Hello -

I am having doubts.. I am scheduled for surgery on Monday 6/24. I have struggled my whole life with the constant fluctuation of weight. Had high blood pressure, then didn’t. Had sleep apnea, then didn't. Anyways.. at my initial appt I was 245 (BMI 44). As of this morning I am down to 208… (BMI39) Worried I am jumping the gun by having surgery…. AHHH

[ShoppGirl 5,004]

Did you lose this weight on the liver shrink diet? If so, that diet is specifically designed to drop a big chunk of weight quickly but unfortunately the weight loss won’t continue to come off that easily long term. Only you know if you have given it your best shot at natural weight loss in the past but if you are like many of us here you have tried a number of times and nothing works to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off. It’s your body and there is no shame in rescheduling if you feel like you need to give it one more try but also keep in mind that the biggest regret that many people list about bariatric surgery is not having done it sooner. Maybe make a list of the pros and cons and one of all the ways you have tried to lose weight in the past. Also keep in mind that pre surgery jitters are perfectly normal. You wouldn’t be sane if you weren’t at least a little nervous about major surgery. You are not alone.

Edited June 22, 2024 by ShoppGirl

[catwoman7 11,220]

I agree with the poster above. If you're not ready, or feel like you can do this on your own, then it's fine to hold off. Only about 5% of people who lose a lot of weight can keep it off, but unfortunately I was not one of the 5%. I gained and lost weight for 30 years until I finally came to the conclusion that I needed to do something drastic. You may not be there yet - or you may very well be one of the 5%. Either way, it's always fine to wait or cancel if you're not ready for this.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,650]

The pre-op diet is specifically designed to be very short term and to drop a good amount of weight to make the surgery safer. There's no way it can, or should, be sustained long term. If you're having the surgery because you haven't been able to lose, or keep off, weight successfully in the past, then that isn't likely to change just because the pre-op diet was temporarily successful. But if you're having doubts, more than just normal pre-surgery jitters, than definitely rethink the surgery. It's life changing. And A LOT of changes will have to be made in order for it to be successful. If you don't think that's something you're ready for, don't do it.

[JennyBeez 289]

There's no shame in postponing or calling off the surgery if you're feeling uncertain about it.

It's a big step to take, and there's no un-doing it. It can change your life for the better, but there's also lots of changes that become necessary that are difficult. Not to mention, any surgery carries risks associated.

Maybe take this weekend to think about why you decided to get the surgery to begin with. Everyone's reasons are different, but for the most part I think a lot of us have had the up-down fluctuations, the diets that works and then the weight came back, the diets that never worked to begin with, etc. Is the weight loss your only goal, or do you have other obesity related health conditions that this would improve? Do the benefits to your life outweigh (hehe) the potential drawbacks?

Also, question your uncertainty now. Is it because you think you haven't given other weight loss attempts a fair shot, and feel like you now can? Is it because you think the pre-op weight loss will continue at a similar rate, or do you feel like this jumpstart of weight loss has given you a better starting point to continue with other diet/exercise methods to lose the rest? Or is it because the surgery itself / risks / post-op side effects / etc are giving you reason to doubt?

Like @SleeveToBypass2023 said, the pre-op diet isn't meant to last long term. It's basically a cleanse / crash diet to reduce complications prior to surgery. I don't know what your specific program had you on during this stage, but I had two weeks of 'medical shakes' that basically amounted to a starvation diet in terms of calories. My pre-op diet program definitely would not have been healthy to continue long term -- and honestly, it reminded me of other diets I tried in the past (looking at you 1990's slim fast) that would help you shed some quick initial pounds but came back ridiculously easily just trying to stay in 'maintenance'.

There's no right or wrong answer here. No matter what choice you make, you'll be making in your own best interest.

[Jordan.RNY 6]

Thank you @JennyBeez, @SleeveToBypass2023, @catwoman7 and @ShoppGirl!

I have tried everything and always gain it back. I have some co morbidities, I loose and gain weight with the blow of the wind.

I have certainly done my diligence and it took me a while to decide this is probably the best option for my future.

I struggled with anxiety everyday. I think the thought of this huge change in my life is just scary. I also think inevitably I come across horror stories that set back my excitement.

[ShoppGirl 5,004]

14 minutes ago, Jordan.RNY said:

Thank you @JennyBeez, @SleeveToBypass2023, @catwoman7 and @ShoppGirl!

I have tried everything and always gain it back. I have some co morbidities, I loose and gain weight with the blow of the wind.

I have certainly done my diligence and it took me a while to decide this is probably the best option for my future.

I struggled with anxiety everyday. I think the thought of this huge change in my life is just scary. I also think inevitably I come across horror stories that set back my excitement.

I told my Dr at my preop that I was getting nervous and that I struggle with anxiety and he told me for every horror story i read that I need to search for about 99 stories of surgeries that Went perfectly smooth. The problem is that people are far more likely to post their stories if they are in bad shape looking for help then if they are out their living their best life because the surgery did exactly what it is supposed to. And if you are going to really consider the risks of complications For surgery. You really should also consider the risks of not doing it. Especially if you already have comorbidoties.

Edited June 22, 2024 by ShoppGirl

[JennyBeez 289]

6 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

The problem is that people are far more likely to post their stories if they are in bad shape looking for help then if they are out their living their best life because the surgery did exactly what it is supposed to.

Yes, this!! Apply it not just to this issue, but any issue in your life lol. People are far more likely to share complaints, bad reviews, bad experiences -- whether it's out of anger or emotion, or because they need comfort.

I had... a lot of anxiety pre-op. Not about the surgery itself, but just because I've struggled with anxiety for decades. I always second- (and third- and fourth-) guess my decisions, and this one was a toughie because there's literally no going back.

If it helps at all, for myself this was the best decision I ever made for myself, and the one I least regret afterwards. Do whatever you need to do for you.

[ms.sss 15,714]

speaking as someone who postponed their surgery TWICE...You Are Ready When YOU Are Ready.

spoiler alert: i finally went through with it after the aforementioned two cancels about 1.5 years after the first original scheduling. standing on the other side, i consider it one of my best life decisions. i do wish i didn't waver and just went through with it the first time...but it is what it is!

without the benefit of hindsight, you can really only go with your gut.

good luck! ❤️

[NickelChip 1,312]

If you've lost weight and gained it back multiple times, you might want to ask yourself if there was something truly, miraculously different THIS time that is going to stop you from repeating that pattern. Because if you have not had a completely life changing experience that has totally altered your approach to weight loss and nutrition forever, there's no reason to think the weight loss this time is going to prove any more permanent than it was before. But only you know the answer to that.

Change is scary, and surgery is a big change. The chances of a serious complication are very tiny, but the chances for things that annoy you after surgery are close to 100%. I still find that I get an upset stomach about once a week for reasons unknown, and it can be a real nuisance. And I still have to take Protein Shake supplements sometimes and I hate how they taste. On the other hand, the power of the metabolic changes for losing weight and improving comorbidities is unmatched. All I can say personally is that I worked with my hospital nutrition and medical program for 7 long years only to never reach anywhere close to my goal and eventually gain every single pound back. I have now reached a weight after only 4 months post-op that I haven't seen in 25 years, no matter how many times I tried. And the surgery gives me a much better chance of keeping it off. So I'm glad I did it.

Whatever you decide, just make sure you are being realistic with yourself about the possible risks and rewards of either choice.

[Arabesque 7,414]

Only you know the answer. Simply because you know your history with weight loss & gain & you know yourself best. You have to be ready, because it’s not easy & there’s a lot of work you have to do. If you need more time, that’s fine. As @ms.sss said, you’ll be ready when you’re ready.

For me, the surgery provided an opportunity & the time to really understand my relationship with food. I regularly dieted & until the last few years, I could lose weight but as soon as I stopped the diet I returned to eating the same way I always did, for the same reasons & in the same situations. And of course I’d regain the weight I lost. With the surgery & the post surgery eating plan I slowly developed a way of eating I was comfortable with. I worked out what foods were best for me & which weren’t. I became more aware of portion size. And I learnt to recognise the situations (physical, emotional or psychologically) & behaviours that influenced my eating. Because it was a slow process, it was easy to adopt & adapt to my new eating style. Something that diets never did & I never did while dieting. I realised I saw diets as restrictive & a punishment. Now, how I eat is just how I eat.

All the best whatever you choose to do.