Emotional Care post Surgery -

[MelP1970 1]

Dear Community,

I am 5 days Post Operation (I live in Berlin, Germany) I believe the proper translation is the Gatsric Sleeve (75% Stomach is removed). Although things are going much better than expected post surgery more uncomfortable than pain, and I am not excessively hungry or thinking of food, I know what is to come will be a life changing situation. I feel very emotinal of the unknown and the worry about life quality with my family and friends where so much has been me as a provider of space where the love of food at gatherings brings people together and I enjoy cooking, trying new flavors and of course eating that is obvious! It has always been a part of my identity this side but this emotional element is not a fear of myself eating too little or not healthy or yummy enough because that will continue be a part of my cooking. But maybe there are a few out there who felt similar but found a great way to not lose the joy? the celebration? I would be very grateful for opinions thank you!

[summerseeker 1,950]

Hello @MelP1970 and welcome into the forum. You are in a very strange and bewildering time in your recovery. You might be regretting your surgery, lots of us do. The fat cells that you are shedding so quickly at this point, contain your hormones. Fast weight loss means so many are coursing through your body now. Its like puberty all over again. I was so emotional and could not understand why. A kind soul on here put me right. It is a massive learning curve right now for you. Just relearning to drink is a full time job . You are lucky, like me, no hunger pangs.

I also love to cook. Once I was physically able to cook again, I restarted feeding my family. I make my portion separately from theirs. For instance, If I make Lasagne for the fam, mine has no Pasta and I use sliced baked aubergine instead. Having a wide knowledge of recipes has really helped me vary my food choices. I am 2+ years out and do not feel any loss issues because I can eat almost all the foods I could before surgery. I still have a few issues with certain foods that I adored pre surgery. For instance, I detest cooked salmon but make my own Gravadlax and it tastes divine to me. I hated eggs and now I find them delicious ! If I have carbs, its only a few spoons. I make own wholemeal, seeded bread. This means I can eat a sandwich. Its not the same as regular shop bought stodge which sits heavily in my stomach for hours and then gives me the foamies.

I still enjoy eating but now a tiny amount suffices. Being thin feels better than eating huge meals. Long ago, I read that Parisienne women ate this way, a few forkfuls and they leave the rest. My immediate family are used to me eating what I can and putting the remainder in the fridge for a later snack. I have a friend that I eat out with once a week. It was hard in the beginning to find things I could eat on a menu but now I usually have a salad which to me is a joy. I love the variety and crunch.

This forum has members all over the world. People post pictures in the ' Food before and after' page. I find things I have never heard of before. This leads to new recipes to cook and taste. TBH my menu has expanded now, my food is more nutrient dense and much better quality. Give yourself time to accept the changes and challenges. You will feel your normal self quite soon.

[lily06 26]

Hi ! I’m 7 days post op and have been home for 4 days.
i had the same feeling that i suspect was brought on by a mix of adapting to being home and my « new normal » but also the fatigue from the surgery. I almost cried the first two days, and was asking myself why i’d done this to myself … but then i realised this is just the beginning, and the « strictest » of restrictions but in only a few weeks i’ll be able to eat more varied things. I also read through my eating plan and phases to make sure i’m well versed on what to eat and when and how to manage the next weeks. Being prepared kinda helps me mentally realise there is better to come.

I think it’s normal to feel this way after such a major change but stay strong, i’ve been feeling better and better every day and it’s important to Celebrate that to keep spirits up !

I realised if i want to be able to get to the point where i can eat real food i just need to work and concentrate on how i’m’feeling: eating slowly and concentrating on how i feel so that i’ll learn to recognise being full, when to stop etc

That’s my main priority for this second week!

If you need to talk don’t hesitate :)

[ms.sss 15,039]

3 hours ago, MelP1970 said:

I feel very emotinal of the unknown and the worry about life quality with my family and friends where so much has been me as a provider of space where the love of food at gatherings brings people together and I enjoy cooking, trying new flavors and of course eating that is obvious! It has always been a part of my identity this side but this emotional element is not a fear of myself eating too little or not healthy or yummy enough because that will continue be a part of my cooking. But maybe there are a few out there who felt similar but found a great way to not lose the joy? the celebration?

i'm 5+ years out.

i love food and everything about it (many on here know this about me already). i love the cooking, baking, making, plating, shopping, researching, testing recipes of it all. i love to watch all the tv cooking shows, all the travel food shows, all the cooking/baking/grilling competition shows. i like to look at pictures of food, smell it, take pictures and videos of it, watch people eat the stuff i make for them. one of my favourite pasttimes it to read restaurant menus in their entirety...like multiple times. i am always down to go out for food and drinks at restaurants/bars with fam and friends, i am always so excited to come up with my contribution(s) to pot-luck parties. love love trying out new restaurants...i have a list of bucket list restaurants around the world i am determined to visit.

...and i love to eat. but to be more precise, i love to TASTE. so small plate venues (dim sum, tapas, izakaya, etc) and tasting menus and pot luck parties are my fave: an abundance of choice and low commitment to just a single large entree. i have will taste all the "good stuff" (easy on the side dishes as they take up too much stomach real estate) and be perfectly happy.

a.k.a. JOY lol.

the one difference with how i enjoy food now is i no longer feel joy with the stuffing of myself. i have vague memories of actually feeling GOOD with a distended belly bursting with something i ate. Now its the opposite. the feeling of being full is very unpleasant to me (to put it mildly). and i think this is key, now that i think of it....

long story short, joy is still on the table...its just up to you where you find it.

[Spinoza 1,241]

7 hours ago, ms.sss said:

i'm 5+ years out.

i love food and everything about it (many on here know this about me already). i love the cooking, baking, making, plating, shopping, researching, testing recipes of it all. i love to watch all the tv cooking shows, all the travel food shows, all the cooking/baking/grilling competition shows. i like to look at pictures of food, smell it, take pictures and videos of it, watch people eat the stuff i make for them. one of my favourite pasttimes it to read restaurant menus in their entirety...like multiple times. i am always down to go out for food and drinks at restaurants/bars with fam and friends, i am always so excited to come up with my contribution(s) to pot-luck parties. love love trying out new restaurants...i have a list of bucket list restaurants around the world i am determined to visit.

...and i love to eat. but to be more precise, i love to TASTE. so small plate venues (dim sum, tapas, izakaya, etc) and tasting menus and pot luck parties are my fave: an abundance of choice and low commitment to just a single large entree. i have will taste all the "good stuff" (easy on the side dishes as they take up too much stomach real estate) and be perfectly happy.

a.k.a. JOY lol.

the one difference with how i enjoy food now is i no longer feel joy with the stuffing of myself. i have vague memories of actually feeling GOOD with a distended belly bursting with something i ate. Now its the opposite. the feeling of being full is very unpleasant to me (to put it mildly). and i think this is key, now that i think of it....

long story short, joy is still on the table...its just up to you where you find it.

Amazing post. I may print it out so I can read it every day. 😍

[Spinoza 1,241]

My less eloquent take. I am also a foodie. I never stopped cooking for family and friends. I just pureed what I cooked and then had tiny portions of what I cooked and can now have bigger portions but nowhere near what I used to.

food is a big part of socialising. Eating out was super tricky in the early months because nobody outside my immediate family knows about my surgery, so I just avoided it. Once I could eat a starter or at least rearrange the leftover stuff to look like I'd eaten most of it, I was back in the saddle! I said I had eaten already or wasn't really hungry and nobody ever cared. Lots of thin people eat like that - I have regularly split main courses with people I've known for years who always left half their meal anyway.

Small plates like tapas are absolutely ideal. And sharing plates - you can have a bite or two of everything and if other people are digging in they'll honestly not notice. And don't bother with the sides - our plans want us to concentrate on the good stuff!

Most of us (especially with sleeves) can very quickly eat everything again. Don't worry, you will absolutely still be able to Celebrate food whilst losing weight.

Welcome to the forum and welcome to your new life.

Edited April 10 by Spinoza