hungry Did you cheat too?

[jparadigm 14]

Week 3

Puree diet sucks.

I may need to seek counseling as I didn't realize my relationship with food, or lack thereof, is this out of control. Maybe it's not a food addiction? Maybe I don't try hard enough? I lack control and I know it will affect me long-term. I convince myself that I'm trying, but am I really? I'm supposed to be eating/drinking plenty of Protein. 64oz of fluids per day, but I'm not. I have absolutely NO motivation to get out of bed or the control to not snack on foods I'm not even ready to properly digest. I keep telling myself I'm chewing enough so it's "basically pureed" before I swallow. I could literally be furthest from the truth. Wth is wrong with me? I did SO good for my pre-op diet. I was very militant, even drank more fluids than I was supposed to. I also lost more weight than my doctor asked me to. What happened? I'm hungry, what seems like, all the time. I was warned I may not like sweet things and even salty foods could throw me off. If anything, I'm craving those two like never before. I've been cheating with food already...drinking around 35oz of fluids per day, on a good day. I'm so tired all day all the time.

End rant...

I hope I'm not the only one here who is suffering from stagnancy and lack of control.

I will become stronger. I have faith in myself. It's just right now I'm at a loss.

[Bypass2Freedom 711]

Hey @jparadigm, I wanted to say I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I do think however that these feelings are entirely normal, and from reading others who have posted in these forums, a lot of people do go through this.

Dealing with our relationship with food is one of the hardest things to do, but as you know, is a key part of working with the tool of surgery. I think your idea of maybe seeking some help from a therapist/counsellor would be a good idea. I am pre-surgery, but I have therapy every week and my main focus at the moment is around my relationship to food.

I would say however, try not to beat yourself up too much, as this can do the opposite and not motivate you at all. You're still healing, and that takes a toll on you mentally and physically. This is all new for you.

Maybe start a journal and when you are feeling those cravings, write down what it is you want, and how you are feeling in that moment - try and pinpoint exactly what feeling is driving those cravings, sit with it, be interested in it. Hopefully that may start to give you that time to acknowledge how you are feeling before any incidents of deviating from your current food plan. Then think maybe about something else you can do that will give you that hit of dopamine!

Either way, speaking to someone about how you are feeling and seeking to address your relationship with food will be key, and you have already taken that first step in admitting how you feel here and seeking help.

Be kind to yourself x

[jparadigm 14]

10 hours ago, Bypass2Freedom said:

Hey @jparadigm, I wanted to say I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I do think however that these feelings are entirely normal, and from reading others who have posted in these forums, a lot of people do go through this.

Dealing with our relationship with food is one of the hardest things to do, but as you know, is a key part of working with the tool of surgery. I think your idea of maybe seeking some help from a therapist/counsellor would be a good idea. I am pre-surgery, but I have therapy every week and my main focus at the moment is around my relationship to food.

I would say however, try not to beat yourself up too much, as this can do the opposite and not motivate you at all. You're still healing, and that takes a toll on you mentally and physically. This is all new for you.

Maybe start a journal and when you are feeling those cravings, write down what it is you want, and how you are feeling in that moment - try and pinpoint exactly what feeling is driving those cravings, sit with it, be interested in it. Hopefully that may start to give you that time to acknowledge how you are feeling before any incidents of deviating from your current food plan. Then think maybe about something else you can do that will give you that hit of dopamine!

Either way, speaking to someone about how you are feeling and seeking to address your relationship with food will be key, and you have already taken that first step in admitting how you feel here and seeking help.

Be kind to yourself x

Thank you for your kind response! I don't believe I gave myself enough time to adjust to this new lifestyle. I first met with my care team in January and then had surgery in March. This is all so new and honestly i'm excited for myself and know i can overcome these cravings. I'm so glad i found this website to be able to connect with others as well as read other stories...it gives hope.

[AmberFL 746]

HIYA!!

So, I am 11 weeks out, and I did not realize how bad my poor relationship with food, until I started to get to week 6 and I was super stressed out and just wanted to eat a burrito. I knew in my head I couldn't, so I got a salad from chipotle figured surely I can eat AT LEAST half. I threw up after 1/4 because it just was wayyyy too much food. Then once I did that I felt so pissed that I couldn't eat because I wanted to and it "helped" with my stress. That's how I used to cope, I would shove my face before I got home so my husband and kids didn't know then I would eat dinner with them still. In the beginning about where you are at, I journaled and I walked a lot. I tried to keep myself busy. My program says no caffeine for life and honestly last week I started to make iced coffees with latte Premier Protein and black Decaf cold brew that I make at home. That has helped my energy A LOT! I have been a sloth up until maybe last week.

This is allll so normal, speak to your dietician, try to distract yourself, remember your why. I have to remind myself that this surgery is not a cure all, the cravings will be there but this is an amazing tool. Its helping us become a healthier version of ourselves.

You got this!!! and We are here for you and your journey!

Edited April 5 by AmberFL

[Danpaul 42]

44 minutes ago, AmberFL said:

My program says no caffeine for life

I've never heard of such a draconian measure. I drink coffee and it hasn't affected my weight. Of course its an 8oz cup with Monk Fruit sweetener and some cream not a high calorie specialty drink from a coffee shop. Also don't try to eat around your restriction. Since my 2017 surgery I still have a very good restriction. ( I thank the gastric sleeve god every day) Prior to surgery I lived to eat. After surgery I needed to learn to eat to live. It was very very difficult but I realized I'm not getting a second chance. Insurance will not pay for a redo and to be honest, what would I accomplish with a redo if I didn't learn to eat to live. food was my drug of choice as it is with many others on this site. We need to realize we don't have to love food but just like it a little bit to stay healthy.

[AmberFL 746]

6 minutes ago, Danpaul said:

I've never heard of such a draconian measure. I drink coffee and it hasn't affected my weight. Of course its an 8oz cup with Monk Fruit sweetener and some cream not a high calorie specialty drink from a coffee shop. Also don't try to eat around your restriction. Since my 2017 surgery I still have a very good restriction. ( I thank the gastric sleeve god every day) Prior to surgery I lived to eat. After surgery I needed to learn to eat to live. It was very very difficult but I realized I'm not getting a second chance. Insurance will not pay for a redo and to be honest, what would I accomplish with a redo if I didn't learn to eat to live. food was my drug of choice as it is with many others on this site. We need to realize we don't have to love food but just like it a little bit to stay healthy.

oh that one time was enough for me, I have never done that again and plan to never. that was the day that I realized my food addiction and realized that I did my sleeve for a reason and to get outta this habit. Now I eat till I am satisified and make sure to drink my Water plus some. I have been working my ass off and never want to go through being obese and how I felt before. As you said "this is my second chance at life"!

[BlondePatriotInCDA 494]

On 4/3/2024 at 5:36 PM, jparadigm said:

Week 3

Puree diet sucks.

I may need to seek counseling as I didn't realize my relationship with food, or lack thereof, is this out of control. Maybe it's not a food addiction? Maybe I don't try hard enough? I lack control and I know it will affect me long-term. I convince myself that I'm trying, but am I really? I'm supposed to be eating/drinking plenty of Protein. 64oz of fluids per day, but I'm not. I have absolutely NO motivation to get out of bed or the control to not snack on foods I'm not even ready to properly digest. I keep telling myself I'm chewing enough so it's "basically pureed" before I swallow. I could literally be furthest from the truth. Wth is wrong with me? I did SO good for my pre-op diet. I was very militant, even drank more fluids than I was supposed to. I also lost more weight than my doctor asked me to. What happened? I'm hungry, what seems like, all the time. I was warned I may not like sweet things and even salty foods could throw me off. If anything, I'm craving those two like never before. I've been cheating with food already...drinking around 35oz of fluids per day, on a good day. I'm so tired all day all the time.

End rant...

I hope I'm not the only one here who is suffering from stagnancy and lack of control.

I will become stronger. I have faith in myself. It's just right now I'm at a loss.

Its all about muscle memory, you've eaten a certain way far longer than your "militant" way. Plus, eating very strict structured ways isn't easy to maintain - be easy on yourself. Being constantly vigilant can't be done, our brains aren't able to maintain that at all times, slip ups occur. You need to retrain yourself, which is what the prediet is supposed to start you doing - changing your muscle memory and making new ones, but it took years to develop your old bad habits, it will take some time to reprogram yourself!

I eat very structured and pretty much the same food all the time and boy does my mind rebel! Its human nature to want what we can't have and to want a variety that tastes good (no matter how many times my dietician says celery and faux noodles taste good - they don't! Take that Jennifer!)

You know what and how you should be eating, instead of berating yourself leading to self anger and hatred of the "failures" take baby steps. You know you've done it before!

I still don't get my required H20 in and I'm six months PO. Just don't compare yourself to others on here that say they do get all their requirements in, you do what you can do. Its too daunting looking at going from a small amount to I'll do my full required Water ounces tomorrow. Looking at the full amount knowing you haven't done it - sets you up for being angry at yourself. Just add a few more ounces each day than you did the last day, same for Protein goals. Celebrate each addition as a victory!

Lastly, I never had the honeymoon period people talk about, my hunger came back quick (and no it wasn't "mind hunger" despite what ppl told me). I seldom feel full, I just eat the mandated size limits and stick to it knowing I'll just have to be hungry. Is it tough? Heck yeah, but I tell myself being hungry is better than being fat and I didn't go through all this to not do it.

Remember, we are all different and walk our own paths on this journey - you just have to walk yours as best you can from day to day, take baby steps before you run! Try different food combos on your pureed phase to keep it interesting, count your liquids in your Soups and Protein Drinks - they count and add up. Add Protein Powder to everything like I do to get your protein in. You've got this!

Edited April 5 by BlondePatriotInCDA

[jparadigm 14]

On 4/5/2024 at 3:54 PM, BlondePatriotInCDA said:

Its all about muscle memory, you've eaten a certain way far longer than your "militant" way. Plus, eating very strict structured ways isn't easy to maintain - be easy on yourself. Being constantly vigilant can't be done, our brains aren't able to maintain that at all times, slip ups occur. You need to retrain yourself, which is what the prediet is supposed to start you doing - changing your muscle memory and making new ones, but it took years to develop your old bad habits, it will take some time to reprogram yourself!

I eat very structured and pretty much the same food all the time and boy does my mind rebel! Its human nature to want what we can't have and to want a variety that tastes good (no matter how many times my dietician says celery and faux noodles taste good - they don't! Take that Jennifer!)

You know what and how you should be eating, instead of berating yourself leading to self anger and hatred of the "failures" take baby steps. You know you've done it before!

I still don't get my required H20 in and I'm six months PO. Just don't compare yourself to others on here that say they do get all their requirements in, you do what you can do. Its too daunting looking at going from a small amount to I'll do my full required Water ounces tomorrow. Looking at the full amount knowing you haven't done it - sets you up for being angry at yourself. Just add a few more ounces each day than you did the last day, same for Protein goals. Celebrate each addition as a victory!

Lastly, I never had the honeymoon period people talk about, my hunger came back quick (and no it wasn't "mind hunger" despite what ppl told me). I seldom feel full, I just eat the mandated size limits and stick to it knowing I'll just have to be hungry. Is it tough? Heck yeah, but I tell myself being hungry is better than being fat and I didn't go through all this to not do it.

Remember, we are all different and walk our own paths on this journey - you just have to walk yours as best you can from day to day, take baby steps before you run! Try different food combos on your pureed phase to keep it interesting, count your liquids in your Soups and Protein Drinks - they count and add up. Add Protein Powder to everything like I do to get your Protein in. You've got this!

Thanks for making me smile! I appreciate the feedback and your energy definitely helped. I do have to keep reminding myself this is a stretched-out process and to take it day by day. I know this phase will soon pass. I'm almost a month post-op and pretty soon I'll be adding texture to my diet. Thank you so much for your positive reinforcemnt. I'm so glad i joined this community. It really helps relating with others going through the same journey!

[jparadigm 14]

On 4/5/2024 at 1:53 PM, AmberFL said:

HIYA!!

So, I am 11 weeks out, and I did not realize how bad my poor relationship with food, until I started to get to week 6 and I was super stressed out and just wanted to eat a burrito. I knew in my head I couldn't, so I got a salad from chipotle figured surely I can eat AT LEAST half. I threw up after 1/4 because it just was wayyyy too much food. Then once I did that I felt so pissed that I couldn't eat because I wanted to and it "helped" with my stress. That's how I used to cope, I would shove my face before I got home so my husband and kids didn't know then I would eat dinner with them still. In the beginning about where you are at, I journaled and I walked a lot. I tried to keep myself busy. My program says no caffeine for life and honestly last week I started to make iced coffees with latte Premier Protein and black Decaf cold brew that I make at home. That has helped my energy A LOT! I have been a sloth up until maybe last week.

This is allll so normal, speak to your dietician, try to distract yourself, remember your why. I have to remind myself that this surgery is not a cure all, the cravings will be there but this is an amazing tool. Its helping us become a healthier version of ourselves.

You got this!!! and We are here for you and your journey!

LOVE the feedback! It's so encouraging to learn everyone's stories and not feel so alone. I can relate so much with you and many others. I constantly remind myself that I CHOSE this it didn't choose me. I just can't wait to continue learning and growing from this experience. Thanks for the support

[K Ramirez 7]

On 4/3/2024 at 5:36 PM, jparadigm said:

Week 3

Puree diet sucks.

I may need to seek counseling as I didn't realize my relationship with food, or lack thereof, is this out of control. Maybe it's not a food addiction? Maybe I don't try hard enough? I lack control and I know it will affect me long-term. I convince myself that I'm trying, but am I really? I'm supposed to be eating/drinking plenty of Protein. 64oz of fluids per day, but I'm not. I have absolutely NO motivation to get out of bed or the control to not snack on foods I'm not even ready to properly digest. I keep telling myself I'm chewing enough so it's "basically pureed" before I swallow. I could literally be furthest from the truth. Wth is wrong with me? I did SO good for my pre-op diet. I was very militant, even drank more fluids than I was supposed to. I also lost more weight than my doctor asked me to. What happened? I'm hungry, what seems like, all the time. I was warned I may not like sweet things and even salty foods could throw me off. If anything, I'm craving those two like never before. I've been cheating with food already...drinking around 35oz of fluids per day, on a good day. I'm so tired all day all the time.

End rant...

I hope I'm not the only one here who is suffering from stagnancy and lack of control.

I will become stronger. I have faith in myself. It's just right now I'm at a loss.

This is exactly how I feel almost word for word. I'm now 3 weeks post op and just feel... Uninspired, wanting to be in bed, upset that I'm not having as much success as others... I cheated also knowing I shouldn't even though was small.

Did it get any better for you?

[jparadigm 14]

On 4/25/2024 at 6:04 PM, K Ramirez said:

This is exactly how I feel almost word for word. I'm now 3 weeks post op and just feel... Uninspired, wanting to be in bed, upset that I'm not having as much success as others... I cheated also knowing I shouldn't even though was small.

Did it get any better for you?

Honestly, not really. I'm losing weight still but it's very slow. My stomach can't hardly handle anything. Not trying to be discouraging, as we all are going through different journeys. Mine has just been a struggle. I gain 2 pounds, lose 4. Gain 1. It's so all over the place. But also so is my hunger. It's still the same as before surgery, just now the only difference is I can't gorge myself like before...I hope this gets better for both you and I.

[NeonRaven8919 364]

I'm pre-op and my surgery is much sooner along than I expected. I was expecting to have a few weeks to try and ease into the liver shrinking diet and buy foods that I can have on hand, but it was just sprung on me that I would need 12 weeks of liquids. No easing into it, no chance to have my favourite foods one last time (which isn't a bad thing really, but it feels like it. I lost control and cheated and I had 4 slices of toast and then felt so bad. Knowing it's only another 11 weeks to go is a short time, but it feels like years. I just got really upset at the idea that I won't be able to eat solid foods until December. It makes cravings so bad.

Edited July 22 by NeonRaven8919