Feeling very emotional and regretting

[newbegining2024 82]

A little back ground with me. I had gastric sleeve 10 years ago because of my over weight issue I wasn’t getting my period and I wasn’t able to get pregnant. After the sleeve I loss total of 60 lbs, and got pregnant. The first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was very depressed about it. So my next 2 pregnancies I made sure I eat and gave enough nutrients for my babies. Also I didn’t keep up with the weight loss after I gave birth.

Now after 10 years of the surgery I regained almost all my weight. My issue with pcos such as no having period came back… didn’t have period for like 2 years. Also have other issue like cholesterol, foot pain and Gerd. I thought about having revision for almost 3 years and I took action and had gastric bypass about a week ago.

I am feeling some emotional up and down…been crying for the last few days. I feel such a failure of having to have to get the revision when the doctor gave me a chance. My surgery also didn’t go perfect. I was under the anesthesia for over 4-5 hours, (I didn’t get an exact time from the doctor when I came out from surgery. Family was inform about the equipment issue and didn’t see me untill the afternoon) because one of the equipment broke and the medical team had to wait for the replacement. I went into surgery 7am and woke up 4pm.

when I woke up they had me take a walk and tried drinking sips of Water. I vomited right back with 2 big chunks of clogged blood. And I tried drinking again but kept vomiting dark brown color liquid out, like old blood. ( sorry if it’s too much description) it was quite a lot of it even I didn’t drink so much water.

The nurse informed the doctor and they said it’s normal and they did just literally cut my stomach. So some amount of blood is normal, but because I was under the anesthesia for so long maybe I am feeling sick from it. So they told me not to drink anything for the first day and started me on liquid the next day. The next day I was fine and went home. I felt horrible the first day and the pain in my stomach is there everywhere probably gas.

The feeling after the revision surgery is completely different than how I felt the first time. I am aware it’s a bigger operation, but I just didn’t expect it to be like that.

When I return home my stomach pain was still there, but eventually it did get better, but after a few days my whole stomach was so itchy, I thought the incisions were healing and that why I am feeling this way. The next day all my incisions were swollen red. BTW I had 6 big incision and 2 small needle punctures. When it got swollen, red and itchy it was at night and I waited another day and called my doctor asap in the morning. They told me I am having an allergic reaction to the dermabond.

I am just feeling itchy, my incisions are raised and lumpy, it’s been over a week and I lose only 5 lbs. ( comparing to other people who loss 10-20lbs, i think to myself why am I not loss it?) and when I look at scars from the mirror I just broke down and cried. Thinking what did I do to myself….

I know I should stop being so bitter, and stop complaining. But I just feel like such a failure because I failed the first surgery, and I put myself in this journey again and things are not going so great… there are the positive side that I should look at, but I just can’t help it.

*note-

goal weight 150lbs

pre op weight 273lbs

started liquid diet 258lbs

I had a stall during liquid diet for 1 week. Most people loss 10-15 lbs during liquid diet. I loss 8lbs. I followed everything my nutritionist told me and had 1 lean Protein 3oz and 3 oz vegetable for lunch for 2 weeks.

i w so hungry that the morning of surgery the nurse told me my blood pressure was actually very low.

Surgery day 250lbs

1week post op 245lbs

I don’t know what type of response I am waiting to get here. Maybe I am just venting and hoping to feel better.

Edited February 1 by newbegining2024
Some notes

[BabySpoons 616]

11 hours ago, newbegining2024 said:

there are the positive side that I should look at, but I just can’t help it.

It's tough to be positive during those first couple weeks while recovering from major surgery. Especially when experiencing complications. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself heal and look forward to (as your name states) new beginnings.

If you work the program given you, results will come and you'll exchange your regret for gratitude. Wishing you the very best and good luck going forward!!

[catwoman7 11,212]

I found I was allergic to derma bond after having skin removal surgery. Yea - the itchiness is awful. They put me on prednisone for ten days, and it cleared it up.

weight loss is always slower after a revision than it is after a "virgin" surgery. Five lbs is great, though. And actually a 20 lb loss the first week would be very unusual, even with a virgin surgery. Maybe for folks on "My 600 lb Life", but not a for an average WLS patient. I lost 16 lbs the whole first MONTH.

emotions can be wild the first few weeks after surgery - and so can regrets. This will pass - just hang in there!

[newbegining2024 82]

17 minutes ago, BabySpoons said:

It's tough to be positive during those first couple weeks while recovering from major surgery. Especially when experiencing complications. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself heal and look forward to (as your name states) new beginnings.

If you work the program given you, results will come and you'll exchange your regret for gratitude. Wishing you the very best and good luck going forward!!

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am feeling much better this morning.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,598]

I was fine after the sleeve as far as the surgical glue goes. But after my revision from the sleeve to bypass due to a lot of complications, I developed a major allergy to the glue. So when I had my hernia surgery, they had to do a lot of internal stitches, which was A LOT more painful. But overall, even though the first week or so after your revision has been rough, I promise you it WILL get better.

[newbegining2024 82]

4 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

I found I was allergic to derma bond after having skin removal surgery. Yea - the itchiness is awful. They put me on prednisone for ten days, and it cleared it up.

weight loss is always slower after a revision than it is after a "virgin" surgery. Five lbs is great, though. And actually a 20 lb loss the first week would be very unusual, even with a virgin surgery. Maybe for folks on "My 600 lb Life", but not a for an average WLS patient. I lost 16 lbs the whole first MONTH.

emotions can be wild the first few weeks after surgery - and so can regrets. This will pass - just hang in there!

I am glad to find this community and find people like you that understand what I am going through.

my doctor didn’t give me any medication. Just told me to use hydrocortisone 1% for a week. The redness is going down and it’s turn dark right now. Hopefully it means it’s healing.

[newbegining2024 82]

8 minutes ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

I was fine after the sleeve as far as the surgical glue goes. But after my revision from the sleeve to bypass due to a lot of complications, I developed a major allergy to the glue. So when I had my hernia surgery, they had to do a lot of internal stitches, which was A LOT more painful. But overall, even though the first week or so after your revision has been rough, I promise you it WILL get better.

Thank you! Everyone’s messages is making me clammed down with my sad emotions.

I feel the same about the sleeve surgery, I was pretty much ok after 2 -3 days after the sleeve, and didn’t have allergic reaction to the glue. The feeling after the revision was completely different so I guess I was shocked of how much I am going through.

I was under the anesthesia much longer this time and I am still feeling dizzy, sweating from doing nothing right now. The nurse said my body is trying to get rid of the anesthesia from aspiration. Hoping to feel better soon.

Edited February 1 by newbegining2024

[newbegining2024 82]

3 hours ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

I was fine after the sleeve as far as the surgical glue goes. But after my revision from the sleeve to bypass due to a lot of complications, I developed a major allergy to the glue. So when I had my hernia surgery, they had to do a lot of internal stitches, which was A LOT more painful. But overall, even though the first week or so after your revision has been rough, I promise you it WILL get better.

May I ask you what type of reaction you got from the surgical glue and how long did it took for it to heal? Do you still have scars from the allergic reaction?

it was red swollen for me, just now I see lot of blisters… and worried it will scar worse.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,598]

On 2/1/2024 at 11:08 AM, newbegining2024 said:

May I ask you what type of reaction you got from the surgical glue and how long did it took for it to heal? Do you still have scars from the allergic reaction?

it was red swollen for me, just now I see lot of blisters… and worried it will scar worse.

No scars from the reaction, nothing permanent. But at the time, I had itchy, red, raised rash all around the surgical sites. Warm to the touch. The red areas were a little swollen. After about 10 days of treatment, everything went back to normal and was fine.

[newbegining2024 82]

6 hours ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

No scars from the reaction, nothing permanent. But at the time, I had itchy, red, raised rash all around the surgical sites. Warm to the touch. The red areas were a little swollen. After about 10 days of treatment, everything went back to normal and was fine.

Thank you so much for sharing your picture! It’s almost the same like my situation, except my is turning dark right now. It’s such a relief to know that your issue resolved and hopefully will be the same for me. Thanks again.

The doctor did let want me to pick on the surgical gel, however I just took it all off myself. The picture show before I took it off.

[ChunkCat 728]

If you are still having a reaction to the glue (or if anyone comes and reads this later for the same issue), ask your doctor to prescribe mometasome cream. I had a reaction to the glue (I did for my hysterectomy too) and tried hydrocortisone but it just wasn't helping and I was soooo miserable. A vet on another forum told me about the mometasome cream so I messaged my surgeon asking for some and he prescribed it. Oh. My. Word. It was so much better than the hydrocortisone!! Within 48 hours the reaction stopped and things were no longer pink and swollen. All the itching went away... And my incisions continued healing as normal. So if the over the counter stuff isn't working, don't be afraid to ask for the mometasome!

[newbegining2024 82]

7 hours ago, ChunkCat said:

If you are still having a reaction to the glue (or if anyone comes and reads this later for the same issue), ask your doctor to prescribe mometasome cream. I had a reaction to the glue (I did for my hysterectomy too) and tried hydrocortisone but it just wasn't helping and I was soooo miserable. A vet on another forum told me about the mometasome cream so I messaged my surgeon asking for some and he prescribed it. Oh. My. Word. It was so much better than the hydrocortisone!! Within 48 hours the reaction stopped and things were no longer pink and swollen. All the itching went away... And my incisions continued healing as normal. So if the over the counter stuff isn't working, don't be afraid to ask for the mometasome!

Thats great information, I am sure someone will benefit from it!

The itchiness and redness went away after I took off all the glue myself… doctor didn’t want to take it off because it was still sticking. I just couldn’t take it and took it off myself. I don’t recommend anyone doing this… after I took it off, it took about 1 week for the redness to go down. It is now drying and skin peeling like it got burnt.

Edited February 9 by newbegining2024