Is anyone a rule breaker? I feel like a failure...

[Erin18 143]

Hey all.

So, probably for the past week now I've been feeling down on myself. I saw my weight go up a little and then came back down a little. I know that's normal

It's making me think I gained 50 pounds when it's only like 2 to 3 pounds. I'm scared of gaining weight back, but im still making bad choices and it's making me hate myself for it.

I'm not hitting my Water and Protein goals and I haven't since surgery.. it's hard for me for some reason.. I don't like water enhancers. They're either too sweet or just gross.

My bad choices are (please don't be rude or negative, we are supposed to help each other, not make each other worse)

I snack on chips, crackers, chex mix type of stuff, popcorn, some chocolate (not always, not every day and yeah most of the time it doesn't make me sick). I can drink soda with no problems and I HATE MYSELF FOR EVEN ALLOWING MYSELF TO DRINK IT. I can, most of the time, drink regular iced tea.

Almost everyday I don't eat Breakfast. And even if I do I find myself snacking later. Why? Is it because of the lack of protein and water? When I eat my meals, I can eat more than 4 ounces. Usually I don't eat everything on my platw/bowl, rare times I'm able to. I think some of the times I feel like im forcing myself to eat it. I drink with my dinner meal and my night time snack. Sometimes my lunch/breakfast.

I know what I got to do before it gets out of hand more than it already is. I'm failing myself and before I know it, I'll be a bypass failure if I keep it up like this.

I need to weigh my food out.

I need to stop drinking soda.

I need to stop drinking at my meals.

I need to chew better.

Stay away from the foods that got me this way in the first place.

I need to focus of the protein and water goals.

I feel like the foods I need, I don't reach for and I just grab whatever is easy.

Any body meal prep? Why is it so hard to figure out what you want to prep? I feel like it would help.

God I feel bad about myself.

[GreenTealael 25,336]

22 minutes ago, Erin18 said:

I know what I got to do before it gets out of hand more than it already is. I'm failing myself and before I know it, I'll be a bypass failure if I keep it up like this.

I need to weigh my food out.

I need to stop drinking soda.

I need to stop drinking at my meals.

I need to chew better.

Stay away from the foods that got me this way in the first place.

I need to focus of the Protein and Water goals.

It sounds like you have the framework of a successful plan! You can absolutely do it, I’m cheering for you ❤️

[ChunkCat 728]

I think many of us have our own places where we self-sabotage. For me, going into this surgery, I knew consistency was going to be a challenge because I have ADHD and my brain really struggles with routine, even though routine helps my life flow better... The biggest thing I've done to help myself is to not allow things into the house that I'm not supposed to be eating. I put them all in a basket and put them in my partner's office. Out of sight, out of mind. LOL To support me, they keep the snacking in their office, thank the gods.

The other thing I did was educate myself on what will happen to my body if I consistently fail my Protein, Vitamin, and hydration goals. Some other surgeries can get around this, but DS patients cannot. It is a very unyielding surgery. When I was younger I had a friend who had an old school bypass and was non-compliant with the dietary advice and Vitamins. She'd sit there and chat while eating M&Ms, breathe through the dumping symptoms, and keep on eating them. Her hair was falling out and brittle, her skin was dry, she'd get heart palpitations with the slightest bit of exertion because her Calcium was off. I can't even imagine what was happening to the strength of her bones... I don't say this to scare you, I say this to illustrate what can happen long term when we can't get our habits under control.

I know for her, she just had the surgery. She had no aftercare. No psych care. No mindfulness coach. No dietician. No one supporting her through these difficult changes and helping her understand what was happening to her body when she was making less than stellar choices. Every time I'm tempted to ignore my vitamins or skip a meal I think of her and march my ass to the fridge and eat some cheese. 😂

You have a good list of things to help course correct. I've seen you post before, I know you are trying. Where is your support system to help you achieve your goals? If you have no one local, where and how can you cultivate them? I find when it is hard for me to act in my best interest, that's the time when I most need my support system to kick in and give me a helping hand...or a kick in the ass.

Instead of focusing on what you need to NOT do, how can you frame those things as a list of supportive things you can add to counter those behaviors? It is so easy with our dieting history to get into a restrictive mindset, but I've been working with a mindfulness coach who has been encouraging me to be additive instead of subtractive and that helps a lot with the mind game that surgery is! So instead of fussing at myself for missing my 3rd snack of the day, I've instead added a morning protein cocoa made with Fairlife milk, GENEPRO protein, collagen, and a hot cocoa mix. It packs almost 30 grams of protein in one go and soothes my queasy early morning tummy. Plus by front loading it in my day, I increase the chance of having time for that post dinner snack! And yes, dehydration and lack of protein will make you snack and feel hungry... Try a snack/meal with protein and fat.

[summerset 5,265]

You talk about what you're eating when snacking but what are you usually eating? I mean - besides these foods.

You also don't mention if you're losing weight or not.

[summerseeker 2,139]

Hey we are all human and no one on here would or should be negative. You are only asking for help after all.

Go food shopping, buy the good stuff, don't buy the rubbish.

Use a food log, it keeps us accountable.

I expect that I will be in the same boat next week with all the Christmas excesses and then I will have to really wind my neck in and get back into the swing of things. I allow myself a treat every day as I am at target - ish. My treats are 150 - 250 calories. I track at about 1500 calories a day. I rarely make my Protein goals. My team are ok with what I manage though

[NickelChip 1,212]

The biggest thing that has helped me with being better (not perfect!) about foods was getting all of the temptations out of my house. I went through every cupboard. When crackers or chips were gone, I did not buy more. I've also started ordering my groceries for curbside pickup. I hadn't realized what a huge help this was until this morning when I had to run in for a few things last minute. It was all I could do to walk past the bakery without buying a loaf of fresh sourdough or to keep myself from throwing a bag of Christmas candy into the cart. Shopping online from a carefully curated list is so much less dangerous! At least for me, removing the opportunity to easily access Snacks makes a big difference.

[Arabesque 7,240]

Sometimes life throws crap at us from outside events or internal issues & our good intentions & good behaviours are forgotten. Doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. Sounds like you know exactly where you’re misstepping & know what you need to be doing to get back on track. That in itself is a major win.

May be start slowly & adopt one or two of those changes or new behaviours for a week or two then add another one or two. Small wins, even meeting your Fluid goal, are still wins.

Also have you considered speaking with a therapist? They could help you work through why things started to slide & suggest strategies to help you get back on track. We can’t always do these things alone or without more professional help.

All the best.

[Erin18 143]

I cant afford a therapist, but I have a mental health therapist if that makes sense at all. My insurance doesn't cover the therapist that helps with food behaviors, which is so strange.

I feel like this is happening because I'm feeling a bit stressed out with Christmas approaching. Since it was starting to get out of hand last week. Plus my birthday is tomorrow as well, but I don't feel like im as stressed out about that as much as I am for christmas. I have things I need to do before Christmas like go to the orchard to get apples, go to the store to get a few things for christmas dinner, go to the bank, pay bills, I have a tattoo appointment, I need to meet up with someone to give them their gift, I have my birthday dinner on Friday then my friends and I are going to the movies.

I then also feel like maybe I was lacking sleep because my son would sleep when he got home from school until midnight and refused to go back to bed and every few seconds would ask me a question or turn the light on. Thankfully he's on a schedule now.

So, basically I'm just stress eating?

I would love to not bring junk home or if it needs to be here, then I would at least love for that stuff to be out of sight because yes "out of sight out of mind". But I get "just because it's there, doesn't me you need to eat it". If it's there I'm super tempted to eat it because for one it's there and two, it's easy to eat. *sigh* yeah I come here because like a lot of people, I do struggle still. Why does food have to be the enemy when it's our friend?

Maybe I should just put whatever is in my sight up in the cupboard. If I don't do it, I don't think it will. Then I'll be forced to grab and apple or a banana.

I dont ever skip my Vitamins. That's one thing I make sure to do. Why won't my brain do that with the Protein and Water? Priorities man, those are priorities!

My family is my support system and my team. I also come here every now and then for support or I message people on youtube and tik tok for some support. It does help. But I feel like I need to give my family a little reminder that I need more support especially when it comes to the bad stuff to keep it out of sight.

I want to find Snacks that have high protein in it like beef Jerky snack packs. I can't stand Protein Bars. I've also been really liking cracking nuts, almonds, pecans, Walnuts and Brazil nuts, like I've only really liked almonds, but found I like all of those nuts now and I stopped eating them for a week now. Want to snack on those again.

I want to like coffee, but I can't stand it made at home now after surgery 🤣 I wanted to give proffee a try. I also have fairlife ready to drink Protein Shakes left, but they may be expired, if not, I was thinking about trying to make a smoothie with it.

[Erin18 143]

11 hours ago, summerset said:

You talk about what you're eating when snacking but what are you usually eating? I mean - besides these foods.

You also don't mention if you're losing weight or not.

Usually eating when it's not a snack?

Today for example, I wasn't feeling well so I slept for awhile. I didn't eat breakfast and I didn't eat lunch. I made Tyson chicken nuggets and I fried them to make them extra crispy (bad I know, should have baked them). I had a serving plus one extra nugget with chic fil a garden herb ranch. I had some rice with butter and creo. A few sweet potato fries and a couple pieces of sliced beets. When I write it down, it sounds like a ton. I didn't finish all the rice or the beets.

2 to 3 hours later (I try to aim for 3 or 4). I had ramen Soup. No problems eating that and I was able to eat it all. Gosh, I can't believe I'm able to.

I had a candy cane about an hour later.

Around 10:30pm tonight, I had a serving of mini marshmallows, sugar free dark chocolate pudding cup with sugar free whipped cream. One and a half Keebler Stripped cookie with a few sips of milk and a little after, a few sips of iced tea.

Why am I like this? Why am I able to eat this much at once? Is my stomach stretched out? Should I ask to check my stomach? My 1 year appointment is February 21st.

I really want to get back to tracking, it's definitely something that helped me stay on track.

My weight was 3 ish pounds less than it is today. A few days ago it said I gained 5 pounds. So yeah, it's up and down and I know it's because of the poor eating.

Does anyone use timer reminders to make sure you drink your Water or to make sure you eat slowly?

[summerset 5,265]

50 minutes ago, Erin18 said:

Is my stomach stretched out?

It doesn't sound like it. I know that the amount sounds like a lot compared to the can-only-eat-three-spoons-of-pureed-food-and-even-less-when-solid crowd but the amounts is not what strikes me odd.

If the foods you're listing are fairly typical for a day of eating you simply might be lagging nutrients. No fruits at all, only a little bit of vegetables.

Quote

So yeah, it's up and down and I know it's because of the poor eating.

I'm not surprised. The sodium content of the foods you listed seems to be fairly high. Quick weight loss or weight gain usually almost includes some Water retention. My weight can swing up to almost 1 kg within one day because of how much water I hold.

You say you want to start tracking. Are you a person who likes to track food, a person who abhors it (raises both hands simultaneously here) or a person who is not a fan but in the end doesn't mind it? Tracking foods/calories/macros can help people - however, it could be that you can benefit from a different food selection without even having to write everything down you eat.

How far out of surgery are you? Are the stats you're listing in your profile still correct?

[summerset 5,265]

1 hour ago, Erin18 said:

I cant afford a therapist, but I have a mental health therapist if that makes sense at all.

[...]

So, basically I'm just stress eating?

If you are suspecting some kind of emotional eating and have problems affording therapy (therapists specializing in emotional eating don't fall out of the sky anyway) - could you afford something like an abo for an app like Eat Right Now for maybe a year?

[DestinyAlcala 2]

I’m also feeling like crap, I’m 1 week post op and I just pushed the limits. Like I made minestrone Soup I’m on phase 2 and I couldn’t stop myself from eating some of the veggies. Then this evening I ate a couple French fries and a nibble of the hamburger meat on my husbands burger. I don’t understand what is wrong with me. Like why can’t I just follow the rules. I’m so scared I’ve ruined everything and I’m going to fail. 😭

[summerseeker 2,139]

3 hours ago, DestinyAlcala said:

I’m also feeling like crap, I’m 1 week post op and I just pushed the limits. Like I made minestrone Soup I’m on phase 2 and I couldn’t stop myself from eating some of the veggies. Then this evening I ate a couple French fries and a nibble of the hamburger meat on my husbands burger. I don’t understand what is wrong with me. Like why can’t I just follow the rules. I’m so scared I’ve ruined everything and I’m going to fail. 😭

If you could see your internal stitches or staples then you would not be pushing the boundary so soon. Imagine food stuck and rotting in the staples. Can you imagine how ill you would be ? What should be inside your stomach could end up on the outside. It could kill you.

Will this dissuade you from the dark side ? Try to stick to your teams plan. Its worth it in the end

[Spinoza 1,376]

I think if you could get back to tracking asap that might be helpful. Also - could you revert to your immediate post-op diet plan and always go for Protein first, veg second, carbs last (or not at all)? That seems to help some people reset. I am sorry that you have so much guilt about what you eat. Get all of the carbs out of your house (especially sugar)? It's really hard to stick to weight loss plans with or without surgery to give us a hand. Please be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can xxx

Your side bar is saying lap band 2009 and I'm thinking you've clearly had something else in the last year so if you could update your stats that would be really helpful to target advice/support better 🤩

[Not sure 48]

I see you consume most of your calories from processed and ultra processed foods. They tend to flow straight through us and don’t help with feeling full. I am also very tempted when my spouse brings junk food into our home, and sometimes I give in but I always try to eat only non processed foods. chicken nuggets ultra processed, ramen ultra processed, Cookies ultra processed, soda ultra processed and empty calories. It was really hard to start but it’s been over a year now and has become second nature now. Best of luck, don’t feel guilty about slipping once in awhile we all do every once and awhile, we just don’t do it every day.