Bones

[Nepenthe44 188]

I really don't understand how my weight is distributed. I'm still in the "obese" category and definitely overweight.

But I have visible ribs already when I move, including the ones below my collar bones. I didn't see these until I was very thin back in the before times.

If I lose another 50-70 pounds, am I going to look like a walking skeleton wearing a leather cloak?

[maintenanceman 285]

I'm the same height as you, and I sit at 149. I look thin, for sure, but not skeleton-like. I think we get so used to being obese that "normal" weight seems weird. What looks emaciated to us is, in fact, normal weight.

135 might be too thin, but I think getting into the "healthy" BMI zone is entirely reasonable.

[Arabesque 7,335]

We all carry our weight in different places: upper body, lower body, abdomen, etc. And we all lose our weight in different places as we progress. Add to that the differences in our skeletal frames. Like I’ve a smallish frame yet my collar bones don’t protrude as much as others at a similar weight to me. I have dips around my collar bones not hollows.

You will find that once your weight stabilises that your remaining weight seems to resettle. So while you may feel you look too thin or gaunt at first this will change. Initially I was all straight up & down & had lost my hourglass shape. But a few months later I realised I had a waist & hips again. (Still don’t have a butt though lol!)

Give your head a chance to catch up with your new body. How you look now & as you lose more weight. It takes time & you’ll feel like you don’t recognise yourself or know your body at times. And it can work both ways - thinking you look too thin or thinking you’re still too big. I remember seeing a woman’s reflection in a shop window & thought oh we’re wearing the same clothes & she’s much slimmer than me. It was a shock to realise the woman was me.

[summerseeker 2,169]

19 hours ago, Nepenthe44 said:

I really don't understand how my weight is distributed. I'm still in the "obese" category and definitely overweight.

But I have visible ribs already when I move, including the ones below my collar bones. I didn't see these until I was very thin back in the before times.

If I lose another 50-70 pounds, am I going to look like a walking skeleton wearing a leather cloak?

I am struggling with this too. My local doctor want me at less than 140 lbs. My family and friends are already saying I have to stop loosing as I am already too thin. I don't tell of anyone of any weight loss now. It is a slow trickle now anyway. I have gone down to a UK size 14 and to me skinny would be a size 6 - 8.

I have been fat all my life, do former fat people really have bigger bones ? or is it a myth ?

[Arabesque 7,335]

Just like it takes time for our heads to catch up with how we look so too does it take others. They have a picture of you in their heads so they also have to come to terms with as you are now & really see you. I had several people ‘helpfully’ tell me I had lost enough weight. I had people tell me they didn’t recognise me during the time I had lost down to around my usual weight range (mid 60s kg +/-). This was the weight range I had been most of my adult life (30 odd years). I was only my largest obese size for about 4 or so years. They should have easily recognised me. Now 2+ years later no one says a thing.

Apparently the taller you are the larger the circumference of your bones. That’s the true meaning of being big boned. For e.g. woman 5’2” - 5’5” with a wrist measurement of 6.25” - 6.5” have a medium frame (mine is just under 6”). When overweight I used to be told I had a larger frame. It was just people trying to be nice & not say I was fat. Only about 5% of the population have large frames & the same have small frames. Everyone else has an medium or average frame.

Initially my surgeon & his colleague were a little concerned I was still losing past my goal. Then one appointment, I remember his colleague really looking at me & then saying you really are quite small aren’t you. They never said a word about my weight after that.

Doesn’t matter what others think you should weigh. I believe, you’re the only one who matters. You’re the only one who really needs to be happy. As long as your weight & maintaining it doesn’t restrict or limit you in any way (socially, lifestyle, etc.) & you’re healthy ignore everyone else’s ‘well intentioned’ comments & advice.

[Nepenthe44 188]

I'm another 40 pounds down or so and it's... bad. I don't have to stretch or flex, you can just count my ribs all the way down, except for where there's a fold of loose skin (I think these are technically called breasts?).

This isn't "I'm so used to my obese self I don't understand what healthy is" type skinny, this is "I can play the xylophone if I wear a low-cut shirt", tabloid speculation about drugs and anorexia type skinny.

On some level, I'm stoked, my ED self is absolutely thrilled to be able to see every bone, but I just don't understand how I can have so much hanging fat on my lower body and look like a skeleton on top. I do have a small frame by wrist size, but my rib cage apparently did not get that memo.

Because, again, I'm still overweight. My bodyfat percentage was assessed at over 30 a few weeks ago. Where the #%@! is it?

My weight loss also hasn't plateaued, or even significantly slowed. I'm still losing around 1.5-2% of my bodyweight per week. I am absolutely not following the diet plan given to me, eating much larger portions of much more calorie dense food but I continue to diminish.

On one level I'm thrilled, but on another I'm worried this won't stop and I'm going to have to wear turtlenecks to stop birds from nesting inside my torso.

[ChunkCat 729]

Weight loss distribution is a funny thing. I have been tracking my measurements and it is odd to see where it is coming off, even this early on. I've lost an inch from my wrists at the 2 month mark. Why? How? I have no clue. Or I've lost nearly 9 inches from my waist just shy of the 3 month mark, but my protruding belly area, where I expected the weight to come off first, isn't budging.

I've been told by a number of vets that it takes a year or two after you've dropped most of your weight for your body to get a clue and redistribute the fat you have left. So this means at times when you are dropping the weight you may look skeletal in some areas that you used to have padding in when you were that weight before. But try not to worry too much about it, usually within a year or two it rebalances as it redistributes. I'm sure that doesn't apply to everywhere, but it applies to most places...

Also, most surgeries have a rebound once you reach your set point and stop losing. This is often in the 15-20 lb range. So conventional wisdom from the vets is to ride your weight loss down as low as it will go (unless you end up officially underweight by BMI), as you will rebound and then complain about that extra 20 lbs that came back. LOL

[Arabesque 7,335]

Oh yes, your remaining weight/fat does resettle in the months after you stabilise. Initially I was very straight up & down, no waist at all. I was a little upset because I’d always had an hourglass body shape even when obese & now it was gone. A few months later, with no weight change, I noticed I had a waist again & hips &, while my breasts were empty & saggy, I still had an E cup size so breasts. Sure I don’t have a butt but I had my hour glass shape back again - just much smaller dimensions 😉.

Where did you carry your weight? What body shape did you have? I wonder if you are naturally pear shaped so therefore slimmer on the top & you carried more of your weight around your waist, hips, butt & thighs. I’d say your saggy empty skin is being pulled downwards by gravity too. Are you thinking about skin removal when you’ve stabilised?

I wouldn’t worry about having 30% body fat. This is a good result.

According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, there are healthy body fat percentages based on your age. For people aged 20 to 39, women should aim for 21% to 32% of body fat. For people aged 40 to 59, women should fall between 23% to 33% and men should fall around 11% to 21%. If you’re aged 60 to 79, women should have 24% to 35% body fat and men should have 13% to 24%. (From webmd)

Why do you say you’re overweight with a BMI of 25? Love it or hate it, BMI does give us a bit of an idea & it’s how we’re defined by doctors, etc. You’re just on the borderline of healthy & overweight. And if you’ve built muscle you’ll weigh more so you’re really in the healthy range. Personally I wouldn’t define myself by my BMI & certainly not at your weight.

[Nepenthe44 188]

I was an hourglass when I was young, carrying weight in my chest and hips. Always had a relatively slim waist. Have built quite a significant amount of muscle (or retained much more than expected) through a combination of weightlifting and testosterone therapy. Definitely planning on significant skin removal, which should help unveil the few bones that aren't clearly visible due to swaths of skin.

[ms.sss 15,669]

here's my personal anecdote :

when i called goal, i looked skeletal and gaunt. many people told me so (which i found annoying), but more importantly, *i* thought i looked gaunt and skeletal.

fast forward about 1.5 years after that, and while i actually weighed 10+ lbs LESS than when i called goal, i looked waaaay healthier...and, dare i say, HOT. lol.

i was exercising regularly and my body didn't have that frail look to it, and my face gauntness filled in. granted i did also have plastics done: Tummy Tuck, breast lift and arm lift, but those procedures only took of 400g of weight off me, so says my doc.

fast forward another couple years (im 5+ years post op now), and while i still weigh 10+ lbs LESS than goal, i STILL look healthier now than those early days of maintenance. Mind you, i do look a lot "softer" now as i only exercise a fraction of what i used to do before.

I do think rapid weight loss does a number on one's looks in the short term, but i think most people will find that as time goes on, things move and settle a bit so we dont look so sickly.

(and yes, i can see my bones in places, lol)

[Nepenthe44 188]

On 1/27/2024 at 9:31 PM, ms.sss said:

here's my personal anecdote :

when i called goal, i looked skeletal and gaunt. many people told me so (which i found annoying), but more importantly, *i* thought i looked gaunt and skeletal.

 fast forward about 1.5 years after that, and while i actually weighed 10+ lbs LESS than when i called goal, i looked waaaay healthier...and, dare i say, HOT. lol.

This is really good to hear. I'm genuinely baffled by the way my body is right now and very frustrated, especially since I have significant weight to lose to reach my goal. The chorus of "don't lose more weight" has started from all corners but I'll just ride through and have faith that my body will settle.

(The chorus is especially annoying since I'm not even sure I can stop right now. I'm already not following virtually any of the weight-loss focused nutrition recommendations. Short of adopting an all-ice cream diet, I don't know that I could maintain.)

Still don't love it though! Over the weekend, spent some time snuggling with a new crush and he started counting my ribs. 😣

Edited January 30 by Nepenthe44

[ms.sss 15,669]

22 hours ago, Nepenthe44 said:

I'm already not following virtually any of the weight-loss focused nutrition recommendations. Short of adopting an all-ice cream diet, I don't know that I could maintain.)

I don't say this alot, because it seems its not the "norm" among bariatric patients...but i consider myself one of the "lucky ones", who can seem to eat whatever i feel like and am still able to maintain my weight with little to no effort (my food log is packed with "non-diet" foods...which i need to do because my restriction is still very much in effect).

i too was concerned about continually losing weight to the point of death, but it turned out all right in the end (so far). not having to worry about calorie intake (based on my natural eating habits) is something i will forever be grateful for...even if it doesn't last forever.

you will find yourself hard pressed to find someone who lost too much weight to the point of medical concern around here. i can think of exactly 1 member on here who self-identified as going below healthy BMI for an extended period of time (dont know what her status is now, as she has since dropped off the forums...and at the time she was at 18 or so BMI...which was at the "top-level" of underweight...)

anyway, this is my long winded way of saying enjoy the ride and try not to worry (unless of course your team is worried?)...more often than not, your worry will become a non-issue when things are all said and done.

if u continue to be one of the "lucky ones" who put little effort in maintaining weight and health in the long term, yay it really is a blessing and not a curse, years out.

good luck! ❤️

Edited January 31 by ms.sss