ex-wives are bitches

[Gone4Now 4]

deleted for privacy reasons

[smatyas 0]

Before my wife and I were married (but we were living together), her mom tried to make us sleep in separate rooms while we were there. We just decided to stay somewhere else. That may be the best option for you...

That whole issue stinks.

[Daisalana 33]

Same here.. my parents lived in a bubble that me and DH, the years we lived together unmarried, they decided we lived in seperate rooms (mmhm).. so when we came home for Christmas, they would make us sleep in seperate rooms. I did it out of respect, but.. it's just the different times.

Maybe the kid is bothered by it, but then someone should sit down with her and explain that daddy and this lady like each other, and.... whatever else you explain to a kid.

[Gone4Now 4]

********

related joke - Hope ya'll get a kick out of it.

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER!

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't

help

but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom:

I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY ....

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER :clap2:

[Daisalana 33]

LOL.. glad it worked out, and I like the joke.

[phyllisc 0]

There always has to be at least one bitch. Either it is the ex wife or the new wife/girlfriend. In my case, it was the new wife. I could not have cared less about either my ex husband or his new wife, but they both revelled in trying to make me miserable.

My advice is to not let her get to you because that is exactly what she wants to do. Rise above it.

[Marimaru 7]

I think you need to talk to your husband. Obviously you can't get rid of this woman because of their child, but your husband needs to stand up to this woman and tell her to leave his personal life alone, and then he needs to talk to his mom, and tell her that she needs to just not take calls from the ex anymore.

[starryeyed 0]

Since this is the rant part of the forum, I am going to add my rant. Ex-wives are not only bitches, they are stupid, annoying, trouble-making bitches. Unfortunately I also have an ex-wife in my life and she is the same sort of gossipy overly concerned type. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

[becky42 0]

I feel for you! Luckily I'm way past that now because DH's kids are grown, but I REMEMBER!!! UGH!!!!

[green 6]

One of my very best friends is my ex-husband's wife, now his widow. He introduced us to each other many years ago and we went on to develop a very close friendship. I rented out my house to them while I was living in France. We are regular shopping and lunching out mates and we spend a lot of time yapping on the phone. I was one of her emotional supports during the time her husband/my ex was dying of cancer. I was present at all the memorial celebrations and she made sure that everyone understood that I was both her friend and her wife-in-law. Her daughter and her family live within walking distance from my house. We have tons in common. You see, my ex chose another woman who is very much like me; the biggest difference between us is that she is a lot nicer. We love each other, as close friends do. Her friendship was a pretty nice divorce present, I think.

It has always been my policy to try to make friends with my boyfriends' exes. Sometimes this works out. Sometimes this works out for awhile but then jealousy and other weirdness gets in the way, and sometimes it doesn't work out at all.

One of my close friends had a brief fling with my husband while we were split up. She doesn't know that I know. She would be mortified, and I would lose a good friend.

The point of my post is to express that the individual whom you now love or did love is/was unlikely to pick only monsters to be his soul mates - apart from you yourself of course - and thus you might want to try at least seeing if you can get to know these people. Like I said: you know that you yourself are not a monster, you know that you are a nice human being. Perhaps these monsters are also only human, too. You might end up with a really close friend. At the very worse you will feel more comfortable telling everyone that she is an a$$hole! :heh:

[Gone4Now 4]

Green, you're a better person than I am! I appreciate your advice. We can always use more friends.

[A lot less 1]

I'm a ex-wife with a ex wife. LOL Let me explain. I was married, then divorced, he remarried thus I'm a ex wife. Remarried and he was divorced, thus my ex wife. She definately tries to make our life miserable. I am corgial to my ex's wife. I commend you Green, but I don't want or need to be friends with her. We have to be at the same places because of grown children but not often. I don't ever think I WANT to be in the same place with DH's ex. She literally hates me and I'm his 3rd wife (she's his 1st). Go figure.:eek:

[green 6]

Green, you're a better person than I am! I think I have an easier time being friends with my ex's new girls than vice versa. I have tried to be nice, and will continue to do so. The issue isn't with open viciousness, but the underhanded dirty stuff behind the scenes.

This is my second ex-wife to cause trouble, though I have been with this guy a lot longer and feel much better about this relationship. That confidence helps me to ignore most of what the woman does. The first ex wife with another bf actually broke into my email account and changed the password. She's emailed me nasty emails, and we broke up because of all that. He moved back in with her, and now, over a year later, she sent my daughter a PM on a message board she's on. (Though I can't prove that, I know the wording she used and how she wrote well enough to recognize it.)

So, with all that in my past, this trouble that bubbled w/the new ex had me on the defensive pretty quickly. Normally, I'm laid back and open to anyone. Sometimes my toes get a little big, though, and are easy to step on.

I appreciate your advice. We can always use more friends. And, I know she's not a monster - even though sometimes I think I could be! - and I'll give her another chance. I don't think this one will cause as much grief as the first one did. She IS nicer than that....just a little jealous, not crazy!

You are so right! It really is so much easier being the fabulous ex-girlfriend than having to deal with your mate's ex-women.

I admit that I have had some trouble with my husband's exes even though I was prepared to make friends with them. :phanvan Either I am quite an irritating person or they were jealous or it was some kind of combo of these factors. :eek:

With past boyfriends I got into a couple of funny situations. When I was living with the French guy in France his ex-wife decided that she wanted us all to live together, her, him, me, and his kids. His kids, all boys, were nice kids and were fond of me but they were having some difficulties with dealing with the split-up and so they also thought that this was a brilliant solution. I myself didn't think that this suggestion was quite as nuts as it may have seemed. She wasn't all that fond of her ex-husband and she hated sex and thus she was not jealous of me. She did, however, want a man in the house.

For my part I was concerned that she would treat me as the foreign maid: she was awful lazy and she did come from a lah di dah background. And I am a freak about my privacy. It would have had to have been an awful damn big house....! The French guy was horrified by the idea. A good thing.

And while I was deeply involved with another man I became good friends with his ex-wife for some period of time. We were planning on travelling together throughout Europe, and in fact I even got her a temporary job where I was working. She blew the job and had to be fired which was embarassing for me. She also became quite hostile towards me during this same period. The friendship blew up in my face and left me in a tough spot with respect to my work cred and also in connection to my travel plans but I did give it a shot. And I ended up going to Europe solo and this is how I met the French guy.

The first ex-wife whom you describe in your post does sound like a mean cow and that's a real drag. It was a drag for you but you have now left the premises as it were; she is still stuck living with her own toxic and insecure nature.

And no, I am not all that nice. I like to like people but once I get disrespected it becomes ugly time. Then I become Mean Green and the gloves are off.

[green 6]

I'm a ex-wife with a ex wife. LOL Let me explain. I was married, then divorced, he remarried thus I'm a ex wife. Remarried and he was divorced, thus my ex wife. She definately tries to make our life miserable. I am corgial to my ex's wife. I commend you Green, but I don't want or need to be friends with her. We have to be at the same places because of grown children but not often. I don't ever think I WANT to be in the same place with DH's ex. She literally hates me and I'm his 3rd wife (she's his 1st). Go figure.:eek:

Now that is a very stressful way to live. It has always been much easier for me to close the door on relationships with exes, etc which really won't work because I have no children and all of the men - with the exception of the French guy - with whom I have been involved haven't had kids, either. In my case I have simply wanted to get to know and become friends with the individuals who were or are the romantic attachments of people who either were or are my romantic attachments.

This statement sounds clumsy and I will try to explain. When I broke up with my ex-husband and with everyone of my ex-boyfriends there was a poisonous period where we hated each other. After this was over we found that we renewed contact.

They became involved romantically with new women and I would meet these women in my role as ex-girlfriend. I also noticed that whenever I became involved with someone he, too, would have a romantic history and I would eventually meet these women. It seemed to me that one has two choices: jealousy or an open-hearted curiosity. I maintain that choosing the second option first is the wisest and more interesting choice.

And certainly whomever I became involved with would inevitably meet those guys who were my former romantic history because I have continued to remain in touch with a lot of my former significant others. This is a door which swings both ways, eh.

Now, for most people this biz becomes a lot more complicated because most folk have kids. This means that y'all are kinda stuck dealing with an array of exes, even those who are the exes from Hell!

People who do share kids do find themselves held hostage to the kind of scenario which you describe, 2beme. I do, though, have a question for you. You don't go into any of the details of situation in your post other than to say that it is complicated by a trio of wives! And that it is ugly.

My question is this: have you ever been able to talk with these women on your own? The reason I ask this is that very often men have, and this can be at a subconscious level, a vested interested in keeping their women - past and present - away from each other. Many men are more comfortable when their women are at war with each other. A friendship between these women, seen by him as an unholy alliance, would threaten a lot of men. After all, we know where the bodies are buried, eh.

[green 6]

....my own excruciate 'past wife' experience suggests that whether 'true' or not, there is a useful purpose in acting as if the ex- is a dreadful bitch....it helps bring order out of the jumbled chaos of our naive dreams and hope out of the darkness of a formerly intimate and vulnerable personal relationship....

Those delicate concerns are difficult enough under *good* circumstances....when the thin veneer of respect for each other falls away....

...scars, scabs and blisters all serve a purpose...on our kneecaps as well as the cockles of our hearts....

Jack, baby, I didn't know that you had an ex-wife. Now, I want you to sit on Green's knee and tell her all about it. :kiss2: