I should have just shut my mouth....

[saramelie 21]

So, I had a screening phone call from the nurse and surgeon weeks ago and got the go-ahead for sleeve surgery on sept 12th. I had my in-person pre-op appointments yesterday. I am self-paid, mind you (18 000$), and already gave my 3000$ deposit.

So, I meet with this nice dietician that starts asking questions about my past, about how I got to the weight I am now, etc. So, being an honest and open person (and also being already very nervous about the surgery, so, yes, I'm crying profusely during this appointment, which makes me look even worst), I explain that I have been suffering from Binge Eating disorder for the past 25 years and that, yes, it's still an active issue. But I also mention that I have started therapy with a therapist specialized in eating disorders. That I understand that this is a tool, that it involves a lot of work, etc. She gives the ok, they take my 15 000$ check, give me the powders for the liquid diet and send me on my way.

2 hours after, the clinic calls me to say that the dietician spoke with the surgeon and that BED being a new info for him, he is requesting a clearance from my psychologist to go ahead. I've seen this psy only 3 times so far.... So, basically, he is waiting for a note from a therapist that has seen me 3 times to decide if he's doing the surgery or cancelling, or postponing. I'm very upset. I am very anxious about the surgery (being put under, the breathing tube) and have been trying to get mentally ready for the surgery for the past 2 months and now it's all up in the air. After taking my deposit. After having phone calls with me and giving the go-ahead (and never asking about any disordered eating history!).

So I will know next week what is decided. I am not mad at the dietician, she's doing her job. I am not mad at the surgeon, he's being careful . But I am mad at myself for opening up, being honest when I'm sure a lot of bariatric patients would have said nothing for the same exact reason (fear of being refused). I should have known better............ I should have just shut my mouth!

[BeanitoDiego 153]

16 minutes ago, saramelie said:

2 hours after, the clinic calls me to say that the dietician spoke with the surgeon and that BED being a new info for him, he is requesting a clearance from my psychologist to go ahead. I've seen this psy only 3 times so far....

My program required me to meet with a psychologist that I had never seen before, for all of 30 minutes, for my final approval. It sounds like you are working very hard on yourself! Sorry to hear that this is a bump in the road for you, but I am positive that if you keep persevering, you will get your clearance.

[Arabesque 7,240]

No, I think you did the right thing. Yes, your surgery may be delayed while you have some additional appointments with your therapist, but you will be in a better place & mentally stronger to get the best from the surgery. As we often say, the surgery changes your tummy & digestive system but doesn’t change your head & your thinking. That’s the work you have to do. You’ve already started by recognising your issue & seeking help.

Many surgeons & insurance companies require approval from a therapist before approval for surgery is granted. Also many have successfully continued with the therapy or started additional therapy after their surgery to help them work through their disordered eating & emotional issues which easily & quickly can sabotage weight loss success.

All the best.

[catwoman7 11,212]

I think most of us have to get clearance from a therapist before having the surgery, and I'm sure you're far from the only person with BED who's had surgery. I would think at most it might delay the surgery until you've had a few appts with a therapist. You do need to get that under control, or the surgery isn't likely to "work". It's just a tool, so you have to do your part of it to lose the weight - which would be tough if you continue to binge eat.

[The Greater Fool 2,024]

When it comes to your medical team honesty and openness are extremely important, perhaps critically important. What we may believe are small or unimportant things may not actually be so. My personal belief is that I'm going to share anything and everything of which I can think. They are the experts and it's up to them to use or discard information as they see fit.

Pragmatically, they have your $18,000 in hand. The last thing they want to do is give that $18,000 back to you. They have already planned how they are going to spend their money.

Similar to you I was a binge eater and drinker, though my diagnosis is severe OCD. My feelings were that if one is good, one dozen is better. I was honest talking about it with the shrink and the surgeon. All of us got to being obese, or as in my case, super-morbidly obese, by eating and drinking habits that were nowhere even in the neighborhood of normal eating. Not being honest about how we got to where we are would indicate that we are still in the throws of an eating/drinking problem we haven't even acknowledged [yet].

Good luck,

Tek

[Tomo 1,191]

All what the others have said.

I had to get clearance as well with a therapist I have never met. It's important to stay completely honest with your team from the beginning. Please don't let this discourage you from being honest from now on with your team. It's your key to success. Some doctors just take the money and never help before, during and after. No guidelines, nothing. Those are where the horror stories come from.

[Spinoza 1,376]

Definitely agree with the others. Even if this delays your surgery a little it'll be worth it to drag those issues out into the light and address them beforehand. You did the right thing being honest.

Have you discussed this with your therapist? If so I BET they'll advise a little more time pre-op to get you to the right place mentally.

The surgery itself is only one piece of the jigsaw. You have the rest of your life afterwards to use that tool and only one chance to prepare for it, so you'll want to give yourself the very best crack of the whip.

[BabySpoons 616]

Sometimes crying can be viewed by healthcare professionals and some people in general as weak or neurotic. I quit crying in front of others at 8 years old when my grandmother yelled at me and told me it made me look ugly. Then when my father hit me because I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I learned to cry in private.

He used to beat my Mom over whether food was on the table at a certain time or if the meal was missing a condiment or not to his liking. I told my bariatric psych this is why I only ate when hungry or skipped meals. I fasted for days sometimes. I was neither anorexic nor bulimic. What I couldn't understand as a child or adult was how someone (dad) could act that way over food. So, it was easy for me not to think about eating till hungry. Then I ate whatever I wanted. Usually for pleasure. Usually not healthy choices.

I saw the therapist 3 times within 3 months. First was initial greeting. Second was a 2–3-hour test I took in the office on their computer. Third was to go over my test score. I wasn't sure if I would get clearance since I was honest about my eating habits, but she said she felt I had already dealt with the mental reasonings in how I ate and believed my weight gain was more physiological.

I'm not saying it's wrong to cry @saramelie and it's good to talk things out with a therapist. It was a first for me and I too questioned what I should share or not but it's for the best to get on with it so you can move forward to a better you. GL!!!

[saramelie 21]

So... I just got approved! ☺

[NCL04321 161]

On 8/22/2023 at 4:52 PM, saramelie said:

So... I just got approved! ☺

woohoo!! Congratulations!

[VSGDavid 185]

On 8/18/2023 at 3:00 PM, saramelie said:

So, I had a screening phone call from the nurse and surgeon weeks ago and got the go-ahead for sleeve surgery on sept 12th. I had my in-person pre-op appointments yesterday. I am self-paid, mind you (18 000$), and already gave my 3000$ deposit.

So, I meet with this nice dietician that starts asking questions about my past, about how I got to the weight I am now, etc. So, being an honest and open person (and also being already very nervous about the surgery, so, yes, I'm crying profusely during this appointment, which makes me look even worst), I explain that I have been suffering from Binge Eating disorder for the past 25 years and that, yes, it's still an active issue. But I also mention that I have started therapy with a therapist specialized in eating disorders. That I understand that this is a tool, that it involves a lot of work, etc. She gives the ok, they take my 15 000$ check, give me the powders for the liquid diet and send me on my way.

2 hours after, the clinic calls me to say that the dietician spoke with the surgeon and that BED being a new info for him, he is requesting a clearance from my psychologist to go ahead. I've seen this psy only 3 times so far.... So, basically, he is waiting for a note from a therapist that has seen me 3 times to decide if he's doing the surgery or cancelling, or postponing. I'm very upset. I am very anxious about the surgery (being put under, the breathing tube) and have been trying to get mentally ready for the surgery for the past 2 months and now it's all up in the air. After taking my deposit. After having phone calls with me and giving the go-ahead (and never asking about any disordered eating history!).

So I will know next week what is decided. I am not mad at the dietician, she's doing her job. I am not mad at the surgeon, he's being careful . But I am mad at myself for opening up, being honest when I'm sure a lot of bariatric patients would have said nothing for the same exact reason (fear of being refused). I should have known better............ I should have just shut my mouth!

Ok. So I know you’re frustrated. It let me tell you what I did.

I also have BED.

My program required me to see a psych for approval. Being in the medical field I already knew they would be looking for eating disorders.

I lied to my psych. I chose the right answers on the paperwork that led to an outcome that had the psychiatrist approve my surgery.

in 2018 I had VSG. Lost 170 pounds.

in march of 2020 I started regaining. (Yay Covid)

Once I started regaining my BED kicked in and I regained 70 pounds.

In short trust the process work through your BED and know that you aren’t to blame for being truthful. I which I had been.

[VSGDavid 185]

On 8/18/2023 at 3:00 PM, saramelie said:

So, I had a screening phone call from the nurse and surgeon weeks ago and got the go-ahead for sleeve surgery on sept 12th. I had my in-person pre-op appointments yesterday. I am self-paid, mind you (18 000$), and already gave my 3000$ deposit.

So, I meet with this nice dietician that starts asking questions about my past, about how I got to the weight I am now, etc. So, being an honest and open person (and also being already very nervous about the surgery, so, yes, I'm crying profusely during this appointment, which makes me look even worst), I explain that I have been suffering from Binge Eating disorder for the past 25 years and that, yes, it's still an active issue. But I also mention that I have started therapy with a therapist specialized in eating disorders. That I understand that this is a tool, that it involves a lot of work, etc. She gives the ok, they take my 15 000$ check, give me the powders for the liquid diet and send me on my way.

2 hours after, the clinic calls me to say that the dietician spoke with the surgeon and that BED being a new info for him, he is requesting a clearance from my psychologist to go ahead. I've seen this psy only 3 times so far.... So, basically, he is waiting for a note from a therapist that has seen me 3 times to decide if he's doing the surgery or cancelling, or postponing. I'm very upset. I am very anxious about the surgery (being put under, the breathing tube) and have been trying to get mentally ready for the surgery for the past 2 months and now it's all up in the air. After taking my deposit. After having phone calls with me and giving the go-ahead (and never asking about any disordered eating history!).

So I will know next week what is decided. I am not mad at the dietician, she's doing her job. I am not mad at the surgeon, he's being careful . But I am mad at myself for opening up, being honest when I'm sure a lot of bariatric patients would have said nothing for the same exact reason (fear of being refused). I should have known better............ I should have just shut my mouth!

Ok. So I know you’re frustrated. It let me tell you what I did.

I also have BED.

My program required me to see a psych for approval. Being in the medical field I already knew they would be looking for eating disorders.

I lied to my psych. I chose the right answers on the paperwork that led to an outcome that had the psychiatrist approve my surgery.

in 2018 I had VSG. Lost 170 pounds.

in march of 2020 I started regaining. (Yay Covid)

Once I started regaining my BED kicked in and I regained 70 pounds.

In short trust the process work through your BED and know that you aren’t to blame for being truthful. I which I had been.