what do you do when you have a falling out with surgeon post-op?

[partridge-pear 1]

About 3 weeks ago I had a gastric bypass. At the 1 week followup the surgeon really disrespected me. So much so that me a man was on the verge of tears because nobody has ever talked to me that way in my entire life. I have it right back to the doctor and told him about his poor bedside manner, etc, etc. He really didn't like that and said I disrespected him.

I apologized to him but he never apologized to me. I told him I hope we can go forward and he said we could. I needed to call the emergency number a week ago because of something happening. He was very cold and said he couldn't help me. I was polite and professional.

I've been having some side effects from that incident and my surgery. I felt that if I could just ask some questions I'd be a lot less stressed day to day. But so far my emails to the team have been ignored. Some by weeks and another by days.

I'm not sure what to do here. Any advice would be appreciated.

I have tried to call.other surgeons but the receptionists just say I need to stay with my doctor.

[Tomo 1,181]

If you feel uncomfortable, you can change surgeons for your post-op appointments. Or perhaps, do they have another doctor on the same team that you can schedule with instead? I never see my original surgeon, they had me visit with another doctor each time unless I specifically ask to see him. After the 3 mo, 6 mo and one year post-op, there is no need to go back. In the future, I would only go back if I developed some serious symptoms. But even when searching for surgeons for my procedure, I would have no qualms changing surgeons/teams because I absolutely have to feel comfortable with whoever I am with.

[partridge-pear 1]

I did ask some surgeons but it seems like they didn't want to take me. I didn't ask them directly, just the person who picked up phone. So I'm not sure. Maybe I'll try more.

Thank you

[BabySpoons 570]

2 hours ago, partridge-pear said:

my emails to the team have been ignored. Some by weeks and another by days.

That is unprofessional and scary to think if you had needed medical attention. Of course, if serious you can go to your nearest ER but your bariatric team should be available to you 24/7 for advice and to answer any and all questions you may have.

You have every right to request a different doctor for follow-up care. Especially when he tells you he can't help you and doesn't answer emails. Recovery is hard enough without having to worry if he's got your back or best interests at heart.

GL!!

[Shanna NYC 148]

WOW. That is very unbecoming of a medical establishment and surgical team. Regardless of some exchanged words, you are recovering from a pretty major surgery and there are tons of follow-ups in the first year for a reason. I would say if your requests to change surgeons and get answers to questions continues I would speak with a patient care advocate. Obviously major concerns in the moment should prompt an ER visit, but it would take longer for a general ER doc to understand the potential issues of a bariatric patient post-op.

I certainly hope it works out for you and that you have your stresses lessened.

[SnowyWinter 17]

I am pre op so have never been in your shoes. I'm so sorry to hear about your poor treatment, especially at such a vulnerable time. I had a similar situation, had a falling out with the nurse at my surgeon's office this week and my 8/15 surgery was cancelled. When I expressed my concerns it was all turned around on me.

When they told me they were cancelling my surgery, after I was already off meds and on a liquid diet I had a major breakdown. I reached out to my primary care doctor - thinking I was seeking help for anxiety, but she was able to help me find a new surgeon and I now have a consult booked 8/23 and am hopeful again. Do you have a primary care provider who can intervene on your behalf to assist you to find a new provider for follow up care by any chance?

I'm sending positive thoughts your way that you get the respectful treatment and care you deserve!

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,486]

Do you have any updates on how things have been going?