Depressed before surgery

[MasonMoonGirl 43]

Hey guys,

I just wanted to vent how I am feeling and see if anyone else feels this way or did feel the same before surgery. I already started my preop diet so I am fully committed to doing things right so I can have a safe recovery.

Today was hard in that I got a lot of invitations for food related things that I'd usually be so excited about. My best friend called me and told me a new Cuban restaurant (my favorite food) was opening in San Diego and that we should try it as my "goodbye" meal before surgery. I know the intentions were good, but I politely declined and told her I already started my preop surgery since I am 3.5 weeks away from surgery.

Later this same day, my sister who has been on vacation in Puerto Rico the past two weeks called me and told me that she brought back some delicious food she discovered there and if my fiance and I to would like to come over and try it. Again, I declined.

The last straw for me today has been that a foodie club that I've been a part of and built friendships in has invited me to San Diego Comic Con this weekend to try out the new Sonic the Hedgehog popup Cafe. Food menu items are being paid for by the club so basically free food and meetup with some friends. This was the hardest for me to say no to, I even rsvped knowing damn well I can't go.

As you can see, food has been a major part of my social life and source of happiness for the past years that I guess I am the go to that people call when they want to eat 🤣🤣 All of these invitations happened today and I can't help but feel really depressed right now and like I'm missing out. I am so done with the health problems I have and the chronic pain I'm in because of my obesity

. I have been so excited that I've committed to this weight loss journey and my new diet for the past week talking nonstop about it and being hopeful and now this feeling of depression and feeling sorry for myself has hit me like a pile of bricks and I haven't even done the surgery yet which makes me feel hopeless like I've already failed just by feeling like this. Sorry for the long post, just feeling down and needed to vent

[KathyLev 286]

Venting is good - and you have a good audience here My family and friends are food oriented,too . I have many family members that are WAY overweight . If you want to know the best places to eat at - ask them. If you want to know the places with the biggest portions , ,ask them. They can list every buffet there is. They have a mental cookbook of every dessert there is. They try to outdo each other when it comes to events with food - especially Christmas. I have all this to look forward to now that I have a tiny stomach. LOL We're not missing out on being unhealthy ! I'm kinda looking forward to being social without having to eat tons of food. I know I'm still going to hear "oh-take a bite - just have a little piece - I made this cuz I know you like it-you'll hurt my feelings if you don't have some" ....ugh !

[MasonMoonGirl 43]

Same here except I am the one that people always go to for the food recommendations, although I don't know where the biggest portions or all the buffets are, I do know where the best restaurants are 😆 I relate with the out doing each other of food. It is important to me to impress my significant others family with my cooking every time they come over and have a new dish that tastes better than the last. It makes me happy to see their reaction and the kids ask their mom why they don't make that for them 🤣🤣 my sister in law makes the best salsa so I damn well will be the one who makes the best enchiladas, its like a competition for us 🤣🤣 . I will make something amazing and then my brother in law will bbq something better and say "see, you're not the only one who can cook!" And then I'll have to outdo him next time to show him I'm better. Reading this it sounds sooo stupid haha 😄 😆

[KathyLev 286]

I know ! The competition is so funny !!! I'm guilty of trying to come up with the best recipe in the past ...must be a "family" thing LOL

[MasonMoonGirl 43]

For us it's just part of our culture like if you can't cook then your not a good match for your spouse and its rude not to offer food when someone comes over and it's rude not to eat some either. I guess we just made up the competition to see who has the "better" husband/wife 🤣🤣

[LindsayT 596]

It's hard, especially the preop and postop diets. The next couple of months are really important as you prepare for and the heal from surgery. I find communication is best with friends and family ( if you're telling anyone). Explaining your eating requirements and that you still want to hang out, just not always food focused. The restriction to foods is temporary. Yes, you need to adhere to your prescribed diet for life, but you can still enjoy food once you've healed. And occasionally, a bite or two of something special.

[MasonMoonGirl 43]

I've told a few close friends and family members, but not telling all yet. I told my fiance when she chooses to tell her family I don't want to hear the reaction and I don't want anyone visiting me in the hospital 🤣🤣 it was nice that my friend that invited me to San Diego cooked me a Bone Broth from scratch after I told her my hate for Campbell's Soup 🤣🤣 so I am lucky that I am getting some support, my fiance has come around and is supportive too although it does irritate me that I feel she could be more supportive and cut the bread out (my weakness) for the time being but oh well. It is much easier now for me to say no to things I was just having one of those days!

[LindsayT 596]

7 hours ago, MasonMoonGirl said:

I've told a few close friends and family members, but not telling all yet. I told my fiance when she chooses to tell her family I don't want to hear the reaction and I don't want anyone visiting me in the hospital 🤣🤣 it was nice that my friend that invited me to San Diego cooked me a Bone Broth from scratch after I told her my hate for Campbell's Soup 🤣🤣 so I am lucky that I am getting some support, my fiance has come around and is supportive too although it does irritate me that I feel she could be more supportive and cut the bread out (my weakness) for the time being but oh well. It is much easier now for me to say no to things I was just having one of those days!

Totally understandable.