SO MANY QUESTIONS

[kritterk 1]

Hello all! I'm pre-surgery. waiting on a surgery date - I have been approved by insurance but will be out of the country for two weeks in July and told them I'd like to wait until back. I have lots of questions but two of them are below. I'm hopeful someone can wrap their brain around what I'm asking because I have struggled to find anyone who is able to really answer it for me. It's not that they are telling me what I don't want to hear, it's just not addressing the crux of the question. I'm hopeful this will make sense:

Once you have WLS, in the first couple of months post op - what is your mind doing? I know people struggle to hit their Protein and Water goals a lot. I know it's a huge learning curve to adjust to the new stomach and relearn your limits and to feel full faster. But for those of us with food addictions who are looking at this as tool to get us through therapy and really force change - what is your mind doing?? when you realize you can't anymore - are you ok with that? are you angry? are you still craving the food? are you sad? are you relieved? are you satisfied? what is your brain telling you and your heart feeling in those moments as you adapt to not eating foods you used to crave, or if you can eat them how does it feel to limit those portions? I understand this is a tool. I KNOW this is necessary for healing and retraining and to make it through therapy successfully but I'm really wanting to try to know what to expect my mind and heart to feel when this massive part of my life is just ripped away. I am probably to equating it (albeit maybe not fairly) to a drug addiction rehab where they make you go cold turkey... i know i won't have physical withdrawls (aside from minor, potential repercussions while i learn to adapt to the new food intake) but what is my mind going to feel? what will i tell myself? what was your experience?

does this question make sense?

Also - i've never had problems with Heartburn or GERD beyond any sort of one-off meal once in a blue moon that may have caused a smidge of heartburn but it didn't last long and those instances are few and far between. BUT - I started taking Omeprizole because i clear my throat a lot and a nurse friend of mine told me it's likely acid reflux. I've not really noticed a difference in taking omeprizole so maybe it's not acid reflux and is just a weird habit. Anyway - should I be concerned about developing heartburn? My biggest fear with this is worrying that they might have to revise to bypass and i don't want a bypass. i'm fine with losing 80% of my somach but i'm not ok with bypassing it altogether... any thoughts or experiences anyone can speak on?

Edited June 16, 2023 by kritterk

[Tomo 1,191]

I never once had acid reflux before my sleeve and I had to get revised for severe gerd. If you are already on omeprazole, then you are probably more likely than not to have to get a revision to rny in the future. I'm not a doctor so I can be wrong.

RNY is an extremely safe procedure these days. I wish I didn't put it off as long as I did. My revision was the best thing I have ever done. It fixed all my problems from the sleeve and more. I'm in the minority who had vsg problems. Most do not. But since my revision, I have never felt so normal. Not normal WLS normal but before any surgery normal. There only thing I have to do is wear a Vitamin Patch every day and take 1 or 2 tsp of Miralax in my coffee. It's been wonderful.

As far as mindset throughout the process, I always felt relieved, happy, lucky that I had WLS surgery. I would have done almost anything to get the weight off. Before WLS, I was miserable and sick due to the excess weight. It was only challenging when I had severe gerd and esophagitis but even then I was happy with my weight loss and always always always found it worth it.

[Starwarsandcupcakes 2,046]

Question 1- I struggled. There was a time right at the beginning of the pandemic (1st surgery was Dec 2019) where all I could drink besides hot tea was grape powderade zero (hated artificial grape pre-op) and everywhere was out. I distinctly remember crying in my car, like full on grief crying. I had buyers remorse for several weeks after that wondering if I’d ever be normal again. Be prepared with emotional/ therapeutic support if you’re already battling disordered eating.

Question 2- A dry cough is indeed a symptom of gerd. For me, it’s now hiccups. If you’ve ever heard those honking plastic chickens just know that’s what I sound like. I did end up having a revision to RNY and hiatal hernia repair. They don’t remove your stomach, it’s still in there, they just bypass most of it and attach it in a y shape to another part of the intestines while keeping a small portion attached. The only reason I have hiccups again is because I have another hiatal hernia that needs repaired.

Would I do it all over again knowing the journey I’ve been on? Absolutely. Would I also be more prepared mentally? Also, absolutely.

[Creekimp13 5,840]

52 minutes ago, kritterk said:

what is your mind doing?? when you realize you can't anymore - are you ok with that? are you angry? are you still craving the food? are you sad? are you relieved? are you satisfied? what is your brain telling you and your heart feeling in those moments as you adapt to not eating foods you used to crave, or if you can eat them how does it feel to limit those portions?

These are terrific questions! I think everyone's answer will differ, so I don't want to speak for everyone's experience but I can tell a couple of my own experiences.

I used to absolutely love Egg McMuffins. 300 calories, 17 grams of Protein, 12 grams of fat....they're really not even that bad for you. I used to joke that they were my personal perfect comfort food....I loved the taste, felt accomplished that I had a favorite that wasn't that bad....and just generally was happy about them.

I remember starting solids again after surgery and taking a little bite of one....expecting that wonderful feeling. It was like (pardon me) sex with no orgasm. Zero pleasure. It didn't taste gross or anything, but it wasn't wonderful anymore. All of my EggMcMagic was GONE. I wasn't angry, I wasn't relieved. I was sad. It was a weird loss. The better part of my brain was happy and proud I no longer had such an intensely happy feeling about them....because I know that's disordered eating and I wanted to get away from that. But the nostalgic part of me that was still busy coping....felt the loss deeply.

Most days, I was happy and relieved that food seemed to be losing control in my life. It felt good to say no, to throw things away after a few bites. It felt good when I had that crazy moment and bought something terrible like a box of little donuts....took one bite and had the strength to say....What the hell am I doing? And throw them all away.

I'm proud I can do that now. That I can have a screw up, get something really awful, and have one or two bites and throw the package away. We're not perfect. We'll have moments. But the ability to pull up sooner and right the course sooner...has been a welcome and wonderful change. And as the years have gone by, I'm getting even better at this. I buy a lot less stuff to throw away now. LOL.

Some people have a lot of emotional upheaval after surgery. Marriages can get worse, relationships can change. Be very aware of and use caution with cross-over addictions. Watch alcohol, gambling, flirting, over-spending, substances. Anything that gives you a pop of pleasure and distraction....keep a close eye on. Lots of data to show those things can bite you in the butt.

The struggle is real, but so are the rewards. It is WONDERFUL to be able to walk five miles a day and get things done. It is wonderful to find cute clothes that fit, and like how you look in pictures. It is wonderful to inspire folks you love to make healthier choices. Lots of stuff is so nice. I remember the first time I could shave my legs and breathe at the same time. LOL! I remember the first time I tried on a swimsuit and went...holy ****! this looks great on me! The little victories are so lovely.

About acid reflux... I have had almost no problem with it, with one notable exception. If I eat and lie down, I can end up with very nasty acid. If I wait an hour after eating before laying down...zero problems. I just need to be careful not to snack right before bed, which is a bad idea anyway, so the reminder isn't even that bad.

I get a little bit of heart burn laying down maybe once every month or two now. I take a swig of Pepto and it's gone in a few minutes.

Wishing you the best.

[catwoman7 11,212]

I lost my hunger and didn't give a flying flip about food for five months. I loved it. Food no longer ruled my life!! I wished it would last forever - I found it so liberating - but unfortunately, it did not (last forever). Five months later, back it came, and everything became a lot harder. But no - I didn't grieve at all. I was surprised by that - but I honestly lost interest in food. It was a wonderful feeling. Only a small minority of us lose their hunger forever, but I unfortunately was not one of them.

I suppose different people have different experiences, but that was mine.

I had bypass because I did have heartburn issues before surgery and didn't want to risk it getting worse. I love my bypass and would make the same choice if I had to choose today. I could never figure out why so many people find it so invasive - cutting out 80% of your stomach and throwing it in the garbage sounds just as invasive to me. Plus RNY is reversible (although it's usually only done if people have severe complications that can't be resolved any other way - which of course is pretty rare)

[Arabesque 7,240]

I think you’ll get a lot of different answers too. No one size fits all & no experiences are exactly the same. The issues, motivations behind why we ate & our relationship with food can be so different as will be how we process our history, experiences & manage our recovery from our addictions, etc. You are doing the best thing by seeking help, support & guidance through therapy.

I too lost my hunger & appetite & I lost most of it for about a year +/-. It gave me time to reset a lot of my thinking about food & eating, & to work out what I needed & was best for me. Before surgery food & eating were like fear, control & punishment to me. Fear of getting fat & then punishment for being weak, eating ‘bad food’ & getting fat. Trying to control what I ate & then repeatedly failing. I took what I learnt about eliminating certain foods to help manage my reflux (much like someone with a food allergy does) & applied it to all my eating. Now I choose what I eat or don’t eat. Not as a control or by force. Not as a punishment but because I’m healthier & my body works better by not having them. And consequently I feel better about myself & life. I don’t say I’m on a diet, follow a diet or describe my eating as a diet anymore either. Diet has too many negative connotations like restriction, punishment & failure to me. It’s just how & what I eat now.

Have a chat with your surgeon about your existing reflux. A sleeve may only make it worse. And don’t fear a bypass/RNY. With a sleeve about 80% of your tummy is removed & the remaining part of it is still connected to your intestines in the same place as it is now. With an RNY your tummy is still there but the majority of it is bypassed & reconnected lower down your intestines. The bypass tummy you’ll use is about the same size as your sleeve tummy.

You’ll eventually find your way too. All the best.

PS - I too had those horrible hiccups with my reflux @Starwarsandcupcakes. Thankfully not often but sometimes several times in the one night. The next day I’d have all these pulled & strained abdominal muscles. Suffered for years until I started taking Nexium when I would have an attack & it would stop them very quickly. Post surgery my hiccups are thankfully different. My body isn’t racked by hiccups. No strained muscles. Funny is Nexium doesn’t work to stop them so they’re obviously not related to my reflux anymore.

[SleeverSk 635]

On 6/17/2023 at 3:26 AM, Tomo said:

I never once had acid reflux before my sleeve and I had to get revised for severe gerd. If you are already on omeprazole, then you are probably more likely than not to have to get a revision to rny in the future. I'm not a doctor so I can be wrong.

RNY is an extremely safe procedure these days. I wish I didn't put it off as long as I did. My revision was the best thing I have ever done. It fixed all my problems from the sleeve and more. I'm in the minority who had vsg problems. Most do not. But since my revision, I have never felt so normal. Not normal WLS normal but before any surgery normal. There only thing I have to do is wear a Vitamin Patch every day and take 1 or 2 tsp of Miralax in my coffee. It's been wonderful.

As far as mindset throughout the process, I always felt relieved, happy, lucky that I had WLS surgery. I would have done almost anything to get the weight off. Before WLS, I was miserable and sick due to the excess weight. It was only challenging when I had severe gerd and esophagitis but even then I was happy with my weight loss and always always always found it worth it.

I had reflux before surgery was on 40mg of nexium a day and constantly swigging on a bottle of gaviscon after surgery 20 mg nexium every other day, I get a touch of heartburn if I eat to much other than that surgery has helped my reflux

[SleeverSk 635]

Once you have WLS, in the first couple of months post op - what is your mind doing? I know people struggle to hit their Protein and Water goals a lot. I know it's a huge learning curve to adjust to the new stomach and relearn your limits and to feel full faster. But for those of us with food addictions who are looking at this as tool to get us through therapy and really force change - what is your mind doing?? when you realize you can't anymore - are you ok with that? are you angry? are you still craving the food? are you sad? are you relieved? are you satisfied? what is your brain telling you and your heart feeling in those moments as you adapt to not eating foods you used to crave, or if you can eat them how does it feel to limit those portions? I understand this is a tool. I KNOW this is necessary for healing and retraining and to make it through therapy successfully but I'm really wanting to try to know what to expect my mind and heart to feel when this massive part of my life is just ripped away. I am probably to equating it (albeit maybe not fairly) to a drug addiction rehab where they make you go cold turkey... i know i won't have physical withdrawls (aside from minor, potential repercussions while i learn to adapt to the new food intake) but what is my mind going to feel? what will i tell myself? what was your experience?

This is where I struggled but I got through it, I felt all of what you asked, regret, anger, denial that I even needed the surgery, stupid for doing it, sad everything, it was like losing my best friend. I also didn't realise how much I relied on food so that was quite a shock too. the first 6 months were rough but once I realised, I could eat normally just in smaller amounts I was fine. Start counselling before you have your surgery, and you should be fine. Keep in your mind if you do go through rough Patches that it does get better, and you will be happy you went through it in the end. I don't regret it for a minute anymore and would do it all again if given the choice. You will be one step ahead of me because you are aware these feelings can come up. I had absolutely no idea and it knocked me for a 6 but I got through it.

[learn2cook 576]

“Start counseling before you have surgery and you’ll be just fine”-@SleeverSk. I feel like that’s true. But, when I woke up from surgery I touched my belly and said to the nurse,” I still feel like me, good!” Yep, I was still me lumps and all, just on my way to getting healthier. I had zero hunger for 5 months and it felt like such a relief. The only comparison was when I weaned my son from breastfeeding and that constant unrelenting hunger was gone. The sudden lack of hunger was like that, pure freedom.

I would do it again in a heartbeat. Hiatal hernia gone, asthma lessened, knees working easier, fun clothes, unbelievable strength and stamina, positive job and satisfaction with life. Some of that was was therapy, and some was feeling like I have some control over the amount of hunger I feel. I made those choices.

food does taste different, it’s not as vibrant. It’s hard to explain, a friend of mine who is trying wegroovy said, “Food doesn’t advertise itself to me with neon lights anymore”. That described it for me too. I do get hungry and want eggs or chicken or meatballs. I used to go for M&M’s but they taste like wax, weird huh? I now LOVE deep umami flavors. Be prepared for changes, and not what you would expect. I enjoy the process of cooking, that’s a miracle in itself!