What sort of "good problems" you had after WLS

[BigSue 1,372]

I recently went clothes shopping at an actual mall for the first time in years, and I felt lost, disoriented, and completely out of place, like an alien trying to pass for human. Since I started losing weight, I've mainly been buying clothes from Amazon, Old Navy, and Walmart because I had no idea what to buy and don't want to spend too much on clothes, but I've been maintaining for a couple of years and feel like it's time to upgrade my wardrobe a bit.

For one thing, now that I am not plus-sized, the options are overwhelming. I used to be limited to Lane Bryant and Torrid, but now I can shop almost anywhere and have no idea where to start. I felt like an imposter, shopping in stores that, 3 years ago, didn't have anything in my size. What 40-something professional lady has never shopped at Ann Taylor? (Answer: one who had to lose 100+ pounds to fit into any of their clothes.)

I've heard of "vanity sizing" and now I've experienced it. In Amazon/Old Navy/Walmart clothes, large or 10-12 usually fits, but in more upscale stores, medium or 8 is on the roomy side. I found a shirt I liked in Eddie Bauer and medium was too big. I was afraid they would laugh in my face when I asked for a small (like, "LOL, can you believe this fat lady thinks she needs a small?!"). They didn't have any smalls left except the one the mannequin was wearing, so I bought that one. I can't believe I wear the same size as the mannequin! At Loft, I was looking in the large section of the clearance rack, and the salesperson looked at me like I was crazy and pointed me toward the small/medium section -- even offered to look for an XS in a sweater I was eying.

[summerset 5,265]

On 6/17/2023 at 4:26 PM, omrhsn said:

Have you noticed your opinions becoming unpopular after WLS?

That's not what I meant. However, I obviously was too offending. I'm sorry about that.

22 hours ago, ms.sss said:

p.s. if u really want to see some "humble bragging" check out the OOTD thread

That might be bragging but it's not humble bragging (or I missed your humble bragging ) .

[WanderingLass 39]

On 6/16/2023 at 1:52 AM, Wrenna said:

My energy levels are through the roof. Yesterday, I got over 20,000 steps for the day without trying because I can't sit still. A year ago, anything over 5000 steps was an active day for me.

I struggle to get more than 2,500 a day (yay sedentary job). Even getting up out of my chair has gotten harder (although a cat in the lap may be a contributing factor....). I'm looking forward to not being tired all the time!

[ms.sss 15,581]

3 hours ago, summerset said:

That might be bragging but it's not humble bragging (or I missed your humble bragging ) .

Touché.

You are right, OOTD thread is FULL-ON bragging. Nothing humble about it at all. 😂

But where else can i I show off my awesome self without being called a Bee-yatch?!?!

So thanks everyone for catering to my narcissism cuz i can't to it comfortably anywhere else ❤️❤️❤️

[summerset 5,265]

17 hours ago, ms.sss said:

Touché.

You are right, OOTD thread is FULL-ON bragging. Nothing humble about it at all. 😂

lol

I always thought that's what the OOTD thread was for in the first place.

[pintsizedmallrat 473]

On 6/17/2023 at 5:36 AM, summerset said:

There are no "good problems". A problem is either a problem and therefore not good or it's not really a problem.

So unpopular opinion: there are no good problems - there is only humble bragging.

Here's the thing: the entire world outside of the bariatric community views our victories as bragging. They also don't understand some of the "problems" we have (An example I would give is that I am often uncomfortable about being able to feel so many of my bones sometimes, and I can tell you that people who have not experienced the metamorphosis of WLS do not understand how that can be an "issue"...becoming thin this quickly can lead to a lot of dysphoria about your body feeling foreign).

The people in here understand it's important to Celebrate our wins and successes and I took OP's "prompt" as a lighthearted way to do just that.

[summerset 5,265]

3 hours ago, pintsizedmallrat said:

Here's the thing: the entire world outside of the bariatric community views our victories as bragging. 

Then simply do brag. Don't humble brag.

Say "I'm so damn proud I've gotten so thin that an XS is falling off my skinny ass now!" instead of "Oh, this damn vanity sizing!! I can't find clothes because even an XS is too big on me now!"

Say "I'm so damn glad I'm only able to eat five bites at a buffet before feeling completely stuffed!" instead of "Oh, buffets are so terrible - I never get my money's worth because I can only eat five bites and I'm like soooo full!"

Why try to hide bragging behind something you call a "good problem"?

[ms.sss 15,581]

1 hour ago, summerset said:

Then simply do brag. Don't humble brag.

Say "I'm so damn proud I've gotten so thin that an XS is falling off my skinny ass now!" instead of "Oh, this damn vanity sizing!! I can't find clothes because even an XS is too big on me now!"

Say "I'm so damn glad I'm only able to eat five bites at a buffet before feeling completely stuffed!" instead of "Oh, buffets are so terrible - I never get my money's worth because I can only eat five bites and I'm like soooo full!"

Why try to hide bragging behind something you call a "good problem"?

ugh.

i think the point is the AUDIENCE.

talking about so-called "good problems" to a room full of people who don't have the same "good problems" would be a source of pain or discomfort to the listeners who can't relate.

i would never walk into a room of non-wls patients and moan about my inability to find xs on sale.

same as i wouldn't walk into one of my husband's get-togethers with his cycling buddies and go off on how i absolutely hate biking.

the point of this thread was to commiserate, however light-hearted or senseless it may be.

thats why.

Edited June 20, 2023 by ms.sss

[pintsizedmallrat 473]

1 hour ago, summerset said:

Then simply do brag. Don't humble brag.

Say "I'm so damn proud I've gotten so thin that an XS is falling off my skinny ass now!" instead of "Oh, this damn vanity sizing!! I can't find clothes because even an XS is too big on me now!"

Say "I'm so damn glad I'm only able to eat five bites at a buffet before feeling completely stuffed!" instead of "Oh, buffets are so terrible - I never get my money's worth because I can only eat five bites and I'm like soooo full!"

Why try to hide bragging behind something you call a "good problem"?

It's interesting you used a paraphrased version of one of the things in my own original contribution to this thread as an example of a humblebrag.

I'm sub-5' tall; at my heaviest I had a BMI of 46 and was wearing a size 18. At a healthy BMI, I do wear a very small clothing size and, this may come as a surprise, but after having waited to get out of the "gap" between plus sizes and straight sizes, it is frustrating that I have now fallen into a "gap" between childrens' and juniors' sizes. That's not a "brag", it's more of a "COME ON, MAN! When do I get to just shop? I waited all my life to feel cute and now I gotta wear kids' clothes?!"

To put it briefly, I'm not thrilled that an XS is falling off of me because it's the last stop before kids' sizes. It's hard to feel like a sexy, attractive adult woman in a pair of jeans with an elastic waistband. It IS frustrating.

We're just going to have to agree to disagree. I didn't see anything wrong with the original post and felt like it was a fun little activity. This has obviously struck a nerve with you (perhaps someone in your life makes a habit of doing what you're seeing the rest of us doing?), and for that I am sorry this is causing you consternation but I really, truly believe that no one here is intending to make anyone feel bad.

Edited June 20, 2023 by pintsizedmallrat

[pintsizedmallrat 473]

15 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

ugh.

i think the point is the AUDIENCE.

talking about so-called "good problems" to a room full of people who don't have the same "good problems" would be a source of pain or discomfort to the listeners who can't relate.

i would never walk into a room of non-wls patients and moan about my inability to find xs on sale.

same as i wouldn't walk into one of my husband's get-togethers with his cycling buddies and go off on how i absolutely hate biking.

the point of this thread was to commiserate, however light-hearted or senseless it may be.

thats why.

SPOT. ON. Bravo for explaining this better than I could.

[BigSue 1,372]

7 hours ago, summerset said:

Then simply do brag. Don't humble brag.

Say "I'm so damn proud I've gotten so thin that an XS is falling off my skinny ass now!" instead of "Oh, this damn vanity sizing!! I can't find clothes because even an XS is too big on me now!"

Ok, that was clearly directed toward me and I think it's pretty rude. This is uncalled for and I'm really offended. I was not humble bragging -- I fully acknowledge that in mainstream clothing, I'm a size large, about average for a 40-something lady, not a skinny-ass. It really is difficult to navigate clothes shopping now that I am a completely different shape and size than I was for the rest of my adult life. It is an actual problem that I don't know what size clothes will fit me because different brands can vary so much in sizing. Most women my age have figured out what stores/brands they like and what sizes fit them in those brands, but I'm new to shopping at these stores and have to figure it out as I go.

Of course I'd rather have this problem any day than the problem I used to have, which was that 99% of clothing stores didn't have clothes big enough to fit me, but that doesn't make it humble-bragging to say that clothing sizes are weird and confusing.

[omrhsn 621]

9 hours ago, ms.sss said:

ugh.

i think the point is the AUDIENCE.

talking about so-called "good problems" to a room full of people who don't have the same "good problems" would be a source of pain or discomfort to the listeners who can't relate.

i would never walk into a room of non-wls patients and moan about my inability to find xs on sale.

same as i wouldn't walk into one of my husband's get-togethers with his cycling buddies and go off on how i absolutely hate biking.

the point of this thread was to commiserate, however light-hearted or senseless it may be.

thats why.

I totally agree with this. This is similar to first world problems haha. Hopefully no one will go off on a tangent about these too.

The intention of this particular post was not to brag (or humble-brag) about any of the "good problems" that I or the others have listed. I do that in other posts 🤣. My intention was simply to highlight what I consider to be problems or inconveniences right now (albeit minor). I think most of those who have replied got the gist of it but apparently some didn't which is fine. We can all have different views on things, otherwise life will be boring. We should just be civil when expressing our views.

Problems can vary in severity. There are inconveniences (like me not being able to get the shirts I want on sale) and major issues like having high blood pressure before WLS. Only (some of) the people who had WLS will relate.

Edited June 21, 2023 by omrhsn

[omrhsn 621]

14 hours ago, pintsizedmallrat said:

Here's the thing: the entire world outside of the bariatric community views our victories as bragging. They also don't understand some of the "problems" we have (An example I would give is that I am often uncomfortable about being able to feel so many of my bones sometimes, and I can tell you that people who have not experienced the metamorphosis of WLS do not understand how that can be an "issue"...becoming thin this quickly can lead to a lot of dysphoria about your body feeling foreign).

The people in here understand it's important to Celebrate our wins and successes and I took OP's "prompt" as a lighthearted way to do just that.

Totally agree with you. That is why I like this community. You get to interact with and hear from people who have been through the same.

[Arabesque 7,240]

That’s the way I looked at your original post @omrhsn. What problem, inconvenience, complication, annoyance, etc. do you have now but are still good because a factor in the problem is your weight loss. Yes, I have to get my rings resized which is an (expensive) annoyance but it’s because I lost weight which is good.

Everyone has problems or annoyances which, in the big picture & in the real world, are minor & unimportant. My sister-in-law has large feet & has trouble finding shoes. It’s a problem that sadly has no good side for her. Many of us struggled to find clothing to fit us before because of our size & that was a doubly bad problem: no clothing & our weight.

I thought it was meant to be a more light hearted fun thread like a chat with friends. I also saw it as an opportunity to see how others may have managed these situations, found solutions or just to know others are experiencing the same things.

[summerset 5,265]

5 hours ago, BigSue said:

Ok, that was clearly directed toward me and I think it's pretty rude.

Not really - it's actually a pretty common humble brag. *shrug*