Struggling… the evil voice is back.

[NCL04321 161]

My opinion is quite different. I do agree with everyone that we are all going to have a slip at one point or another, but to eat carbs without tracking them, or eating a lot of carbs seems self sabotaging to me. For me, bread, rice and Pasta are out of the question. There are so many low carb delicious recipes out there that i dont even miss the carbs. Do i miss not eating the rolls at Texas Roadhouse??? Absolutely, but when i think about where i was, i never wanna go back to that. If you have self discipline to eat them every once in awhile, go for it but it is just not for me anymore.

[summerset 5,265]

On 5/31/2023 at 11:31 AM, Fred in Pa said:

To add, no one is perfect and, like I said, it is a constant struggle with failures along the way. A.constant.struggle.

If it's a constant struggle - why continue this way? Why not looking for an alternative that doesn't leave you struggling?

[Fred in Pa 234]

1 hour ago, summerset said:

If it's a constant struggle - why continue this way? Why not looking for an alternative that doesn't leave you struggling?

Because addiction isn’t cured…it’s always there and always will be. The strength of its grip can vary, but it’s never gone. Addiction is also sneaky…you may think it’s gone until you gain back weight and wonder how that happened. Then ask about “pouch resets”, or injectable drugs. Make sense?

There is no alternative, you just need to accept it and deal with it as best you can. Find support and explore the reasons.

Again, I believe this is THE biggest issue people miss in this journey and what leads to most failures.

Edited June 17, 2023 by Fred in Pa

[ms.sss 15,580]

Re: addictions

i can’t say I’m well versed enough on this topic to dole out advice and offer solutions. But I can give support and personal anecdotes.

Case in point:

(While not about eating and food, I still think this has some sort of relevance)

I had my first cigarette when was 15 yrs old. I worked my way up to a pack a day by the time I got to university (19 yrs old).

Did this for TWENTY YEARS.

Finally, I quit cold turkey in July 2011 when I was 38 yrs old.

I was golden. I didn’t touch a cigarette for 8+ years. Not a single one.

Then, in 2019, high off my success in weight loss probably, armed with an uncontainable confidence, I decided to have a cigarette while on vacation. Cuz i mean, can one really hurt? I could stop, obviously did before. Plus I’m on vacation, gotta live a little, right? I wasn’t even craving it, I just thought it would be no harm no foul since I had absolutely no intention to be a regular smoker again.

I remember my husband tried his best to dissuade me.

Le Sigh.

That cigarette led to another, then another, then me buying a pack saying “I’ll only smoke on this trip”. Then I got back home and I still had some in the pack, so I said I’ll just finish these. Then I bought a pack at home, then another, then another….

Le Double Sigh.

It is now 2023, 4 yrs since I stupidly smoked that effing cigarette, and I’m back to smoking almost a pack a day.

Sometimes abstinence/the all-or-nothing approach is best for some people. I am not that type of person who could just have one cigarette and leave it at that. Should’ve known.

What works for one person, may not have the same result with another. Do what works for you, people.

❤️

Edited June 17, 2023 by ms.sss

[mcipanda 121]

@ms.sss and @Fred in Pa, hear you both on the topic of addiction. I agree with Fred... addiction is sneaky. My brain will tell me "one piece of candy is not going to kill you" and then five pieces later, I start to feel the guilt sink in. I know 5 pieces won't kill me, but it's 100 calories more than I promised myself I would eat that day.

Like @ms.sss said, addiction is a slippery slope. Right when you *think* you've beaten it, it comes crawling back out to remind you that you're not in as much control as you thought. Of course, this doesn't go for everyone. But it certainly goes for me.

Someone above said, why eat carbs when there are so many healthy options out there? I swear to you, I don't wake up *wanting* to eat carbs. My brain starts rattling the cage with unbearable thoughts of eating. These thoughts invade the movie I'm watching or work I'm trying to get done. Why does my brain do this to me?? I don't know. As my brain runs the tin can along the bars, I find myself wishing I could just have some alcohol or SOMETHING to shut it up. But those things don't work, either. They're just another version of the addiction I've had to deal with all my life.

These forums have helped me more than I can explain. Just being able to type out these words makes me feel a little less "broken" and a lot more human because I KNOW some of you will see me. ❤️

[summerset 5,265]

18 hours ago, mcipanda said:

Why does my brain do this to me??

Because brains don't like deprivation. Not even the thought of deprivation.

Put someone who was never overweight on a diet like many, many, many WLS-patients are on or try to long-term succeed on and watch them getting obsessed and binge.

Edited June 27, 2023 by summerset

[Fred in Pa 234]

5 hours ago, summerset said:

Because brains don't like deprivation. Not even the thought of deprivation.

Put someone who was never overweight on a diet like many, many, many WLS-patients are on or try to long-term succeed on and watch them getting obsessed and binge.

If you see your diet after weight loss surgery as deprivation, you’re doing it wrong.

After the weight is lost, the diet you maintain should be that of a normal weight person at normal caloric intake. There should be no deprivation involved. Getting to your goal weight involves caloric reduction but it should not be to the point that you want to binge… and if that’s the case, then again, you’re doing it wrong.

And it should not really be called a “diet”, it should be normal, healthy eating.

Edited June 27, 2023 by Fred in Pa

[ms.sss 15,580]

1 hour ago, Fred in Pa said:

If you see your diet after weight loss surgery as deprivation, you’re doing it wrong.

After the weight is lost, the diet you maintain should be that of a normal weight person at normal caloric intake. There should be no deprivation involved. Getting to your goal weight involves caloric reduction but it should be to the point that you want to binge… and if that’s the case, then again, you’re doing it wrong.

And it should not really be called a “diet”, it should be normal, healthy eating.

case in point: i noticed the other day that my never-overweight-in-her-life friend of mine eats basically the same way (and roughly the same amounts) as i do with my significantly reduced intake post-wls.

i've known her for over 25 years and she never seems like she feels deprived (never says, oh i cant eat that, etc) nor is anywhere close to having the same "awareness" (for lack of a better word) as i do regarding food choices. she just seems to eat what she wants just in smaller amounts. and always had for as long as i've known her.

she's not on a diet, it seems... its just her normal eating habits.

i think the idea of deprivation may come when a person longs to keep their obese eating habits vs accepting and finding a new normal.

long term success (meaning keeping the weight OFF) with weight loss among the obese should ideally come with a significant mind shift...but not everyone can (nor maintain) that.

❤️

p.s. also want to add that i'm NOT saying i found nirvana or anything...for me its more of a "so far, so good" attitude about eating and weight loss maintenance. i am fully aware that i may gain unwanted weight in the future (nothing is forever!), but i'll deal with that when i have to deal with that.

Edited June 27, 2023 by ms.sss

[summerset 5,265]

19 hours ago, ms.sss said:

ong term success (meaning keeping the weight OFF) with weight loss among the obese should ideally come with a significant mind shift...but not everyone can (nor maintain) that.

Many people seem to be too afraid to do the work that's necessary to have that mind shift and therefore don't even try.

"I simply can't be trusted with food."

"When I don't restrict myself I'm like a bottomless bit."

"I need to track every morsel of food or I'm going to gain weight."

"If I eat [food x] I will inevitably binge."

Quote

p.s. also want to add that i'm NOT saying i found nirvana or anything...for me its more of a "so far, so good" attitude about eating and weight loss maintenance. i am fully aware that i may gain unwanted weight in the future (nothing is forever!), but i'll deal with that when i have to deal with that.

Same here. There's no use in what-iffing.