"Incentive shopping" and body dysmorphia

[Jillian K8 14]

So I saw this TikTok where instead of recording your pre & post-surgery weight, you buy a pair of jeans that you hope to fit into (like a couple sizes down) every so often. This helps you see tangible results and hopefully mitigate some of the body dysmorphia, at least better than numbers on a scale can. My surgery is on Thursday so I went to Target to buy my "incentive jeans" for my first milestone. This is the#1 store where I've wanted to buy from - off the rack - because it's usually my style AND I've seen them be more inclusive with sizes in the past couple of years. I've seen sizes 18 & 20 on the rack in the normal trendy section so I was really excited to go get my "incentive jeans" (I'm between a size 22/24 and was going for size 18)... So as luck would have it, I go to Target today and they apparently went back to small sizes, large majority of the clothing was size 10 and under... I found ONE pair of size 18 that I didn't like that much that was hidden away in a corner and they were $70 and I just.... Sighhh. My mind couldn't let me 'go there' for $70. All I could think was that I'm wasting $70 because I literally cannot conceive of myself that 'small' anymore. I guess that's a good argument to buy the jeans but all it did was plant fear and doubt in my head. So no real reason for posting this other than to kvetch about Target being jerks and to acknowledge where my mind is at pre-surgery. I don't think it'll ever stop shocking me how much this world hates fat people. Even corporations will risk profits just so they don't have to put plus size clothing on the rack! Bonkers.

[GreenTealael 25,336]

That’s wild because Target has always carried larger sizes!

[Jillian K8 14]

2 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

That’s wild because Target has always carried larger sizes!

I know! Maybe it was an off day but I can't imagine the whole damn store was out of everything over size 10. I went with my 14 yr old daughter and were all excited to go shopping in the same section together but it was a total bust. Laaaaaaame.

[GreenTealael 25,336]

Restocking? Back ordered inventory? I don’t want to believe Target would do this.

[Spinoza 1,376]

So annoying. I love the idea of incentive shopping though. I hope you do find those size 18s somewhere else and you're into them in no time!

[BigSue 1,371]

I wouldn't recommend spending a lot of money on incentive clothing because you'll probably lose weight so quickly that no size will fit for very long (until your weight stabilizes as you stop losing). Also, you deserve clothes that fit your body no matter what your size. I feel like I have noticed a lot more body positivity in clothing in the last few years -- I love stores that show the same item of clothing on models of different sizes so you can see how it looks on someone close to your own size.

[Spinoza 1,376]

Yes indeed - I think what the OP was going for was a cheap but lovely pair of size 18s to look at longingly and then love being able to fit into!

Totally agree - spending serious money on "in-between" sizes is not to be recommended. You will sail through and out the other end so quickly!

[BigSue 1,371]

12 minutes ago, Spinoza said:

Totally agree - spending serious money on "in-between" sizes is not to be recommended. You will sail through and out the other end so quickly!

Yeah, I had clothes in my closet that I already owned but were too small when I was at my heaviest (I think sizes 18-22) and I completely missed my window to fit into them when I was losing weight.

[ChubRub 1,702]

Highly recommend Goodwill! You will be flying through sizes like crazy, so don't spend more than $10 on a pair of jeans that will only fit your for a month! 🙂

[qtdoll 535]

Wow what a bummer! Especially from Target, I definitely wouldn't spend the $70 on that as there's a chance you will only fit in those for WEEKS. It's a cool idea but definitely go cheap! I used to wear 3/4x clothes, bought 1x to enjoy my weight loss & left it behind in 2 months. I'm now down to Mediums & regret spending that $$ on the XL's!

[KBlackwell 6]

I am currently 3/4X or 28/30, I guess. I just had my 1st dietician meeting a week ago. I wish I could move faster to get to surgery. I have thought about this and done research for the last 3 years, finally got my mind ready to go. I have met with my pulmonologist, met with cardiologist and have my echocardiogram & stress test, & mammogram scheduled. I have began adjusting my diet and think I am doing pretty good. I just need to figure out how I can make my body let me start some kind of exercise. I am ready to wear smaller sizes - my last shopping trip to buy pants that were more comfy put me in tears when I saw my entire body in the dressing room mirror. I have kept my jeans from each stage from about 16/18 on up to 24/26. Before surgery I will hang them in size order. I am going to get with a local WLS support group to see if they would like to start a clothing pantry - where you can come and exchange to the size you need as you lose.

[Jillian K8 14]

2 minutes ago, KBlackwell said:

I am currently 3/4X or 28/30, I guess. I just had my 1st dietician meeting a week ago. I wish I could move faster to get to surgery. I have thought about this and done research for the last 3 years, finally got my mind ready to go. I have met with my pulmonologist, met with cardiologist and have my echocardiogram & stress test, & mammogram scheduled. I have began adjusting my diet and think I am doing pretty good. I just need to figure out how I can make my body let me start some kind of exercise. I am ready to wear smaller sizes - my last shopping trip to buy pants that were more comfy put me in tears when I saw my entire body in the dressing room mirror. I have kept my jeans from each stage from about 16/18 on up to 24/26. Before surgery I will hang them in size order. I am going to get with a local WLS support group to see if they would like to start a clothing pantry - where you can come and exchange to the size you need as you lose.

That's an amazing idea!

[catwoman7 11,212]

Goodwill fan here too! You're going to be blowing through sizes really quickly, so I wouldn't spend much money on clothes until you hit maintenance. I bought everything at second-hand stores except for underwear and swimsuits. You can always pick up incentive jeans at a second hand place, too!

[Smanky 747]

Also goodwill/op-shop fan! All my favourite clothing items are thrifted. I absolutely bought an incentive item - a vintage 1990s leather jacket in a size AU12 (US 8). It felt super risky because of ALL the years of buying something "to fit into when I lose weight" only to never lose said weight, so even with surgery I still had that doubt programmed into my brain. However, I was able to fit into it when I was around the 80kg mark, and now it's big enough that I can wear a jumper underneath with ease. I adore it!

However, while losing, I bought second-hand/thrifted jeans off ebay. No point spending money when you're losing, it's like spending top dollar on toddlers clothing! Waste of money because the window of time you can wear inbetween sizes is like... a month or two? Plus you can pass them all back to goodwill afterwards.

I bought a small pair of trousers from one thrift store that were much too small just before I hit goal. They now fit with room to spare! This is the one that shocked me, I thought I'd never get into them and was prepared to send them on!

[Lisa XO 117]

Currently wearing clothes that are 1-2 sizes too big bc I am too cheap to buy much of anything. I need to go get out my "skinny" clothes so I can have something to wear that isn't falling off me.

I buy all my Target clothes online. I usually see something in the store, look it up on the app, add it to my "saved for later" cart. Then I watch for sales. Their dresses are 30% off right now. I did order a size LARGE and think I'll be there by the time it is in season. 😀