How do you flirt?

[Mariposa Bella 3]

I must admit that I am a natural flirt. I do it without even trying, with both men and women. It is just part of my personality. I work in Economic Development and we deal with lots of wealthy men and they just love coming into my office to see me.. I'm married, so it doesn't go further than the flirting. I must be honest and admit I like the attention. It has never gotten out of hand where anyone ever was or is disprespectful, just innocent flirting. One man told me once, gosh your perfect aren't you?? The only thing wrong with you is that thing on your left hand.. I was shocked and said what?? I thought maybe I had a wart or something, looked at my hand and he started laughing.. He said that thing, you know your wedding ring.. It was too funny. What can I say, I'm a flirt.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I have no clue how to flirt. I need to learn how. I have this hope that if I lose all the weight I want to lose, I might find someone I would want to flirt with.

I know there is more to it than smiling. If there were a class on how to flirt, I would probably take it. Like I said, I have no clue.

I think the fact that I don't drink alcohol at all is what limits this.

If anyone has any pointers, I would love t hear them.

[green 6]

My mum was a wonderful flirt. She met my dad, a Polish Jew, a displaced person who was in England during the Second World War, and although he had been cleared by the British government and was already active in the British army he had not been granted anything further than provisional identification papers as a foreign national. It was for this reason that my mum and my dad lived together for a year before they got married. My mum, you see, was afraid of losing her status as a citizen and it was only when my dad was about to be shipped back to Europe and then went AWOL, refusing to return until he received some sort of protection from the British Home Office, that he was granted citizenship. And so they married and then in 1947 they immigrated to Canada.

Imagine my mother's shock when her family dentist showed up on her door step here in Canada in the early 1950s in order to tell her that he had always loved her and that he wanted her to be with him. By this time she was a young suburban housewife in a new country with a couple of infant brats clawing at her ankles. My dad was out at work at the time.

[steph_co 9]

I am very, very blonde when it comes to this biz of flirting. All signs of sexual attraction have always gone drifting way over my head unless the guy actually unzipped and waved his short leg at me or turned into some kind of a weirdo stalker or got down on one knee and flashed serious bling in my direction. It is only at this point that I have ever done a Homer and said "d'oh!"

This blondeness meant that my sexual life was complicated for here I was, ready and anxious to play and also not willing to settle down, but I was operating under a terrible handicap: I was completely oblivious to the more subtle signs of sexual interest. (One of the hottest guys in my college followed me home one night and I dealt with this by parking him in my parents' bedroom! I still wince when I remember this.)

I have been settled down now for a big bunch of years but from time to time someone does check me out. I never notice. It usually takes my husband or a friend to draw this to my attention.

I think this has been my major problem for most of my life. Guys would be flirting with me and I would have no idea. One guy I worked with asked me on a date after a day of bashing each other and I couldn't believe it. He couldn't figure out why I was surprised. As he put it, "We've been flirting all day long!" Um...okay. LOL

DH has to point out when guys are checking me out. I still don't believe him - I think he's just being nice, or something.

As for how I flirt...uh...I don't flirt with strangers because I'm so sure I'll be turned down. Now, if it's somebody that has started a conversation and we're talking, then I tease. That's how I flirt. In DH's case, after the witty back-and-forth banter, I strategically brushed my chest against his back going past him while we were at work. :scared:

[kyethra 0]

I don't flirt. Or at least I wouldn't know it if I was doing it. Nor would I know it if others were flirting with me. In the past, like in high school, I can remember times where I was told so and so must like me because of certain things, or so and so was checking me out, but of course I dismissed such things as foolishness. If I didn't like them or didn't think it made sense for them to like me, then obviously it wasn't so. The first thing was when a guy in one of my art classes would offer to do little things for me like sharpen my pencils, or offer me sticks of gum. Another girl thought he liked me because of that and since he didn't offer other people gum. I thought it was because he just got restless in class and he offered me the gum because my teeth are yellow (they were stained by antibiotics I took when I was very small). Or sometimes another guy would look at me. Those things are confusing. Trying to figure out why another person is staring at you can be difficult. Are they "checking you out", are your clothes on inside out, shirt buttoned wrong, perhaps there is something on the face, or the hair is weird, do they think you look weird, like someone they know, look interesting, maybe they just like to stare at people and don't realise it can make others paranoid? Or at least these are the things I wonder about.

Flirting is not my only disaster. I am not really able to decipher most body language or facial expression. I can't even start to figure out tone of voice. So I'm clueless. I had some dating disasters before I met my husband. I didn't think some things were as unsubtle as they-- as I was-- before, as I know they are now. Once I left a date early, a first date, all dates were first dates, because I bored and hated being bored. As an excuse I said that I told my roomate I would tape Friends. And I really did think that was a great excuse.

When I met my husband I sometimes think it was fate or he was starting to get desperate. Or a bit of both. The first time he asked me out-- he asked if I wanted to go get something to eat-- I said no, not right then, because I was really tired because I had been up far too long, but perhaps another day we could get coffee. And I meant it. So we did go get coffee. He said he didn't like coffee and I asked if he meant none and he said he liked some of the really sweet coffee drinks so I said ok, lets meet at borders. We talked for hours. There was no subtley. I always told him things, or he asked me things, and then I might tell him. Or I would ask him/tell him. Or we would talk about things. I don't do subtlety.

Once some guy followed me for a bit and then he grabbed my hand and propositioned me. If that was flirting I noticed that. But I don't really recommend it. It was at the Tropicana in Vegas. Not the best place on the strip. Or in my single days sometimes guys would offer to buy me a drink. They tended to be short guys. I like being married.