I Hate My Band!!!!!!!!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

i also wanted to say one more thing. i'm sorry that the thread title is misleading, but one should not assume anything until they read it all......and i think the band is glorified too much and people need to know what to expect. this emotional roller coaster has as much to do with the band as anything else. i was thrown into food rehab and i haven't fully recuperated so i'm having trouble dealing with other problems.

I agree. I think between TV commercials for the band, newbies excited and in a stage where their biggest challenge is the post op diet, it does come off as being easier than it is. Doctors are not usually banded and I think there is no way to really relate to our issues unless you have/are going through the same thing. One can empathize but relating is a whole different ball game.

While I agree with you that the band is very hard I would want to take that a step farther and say that traditional diet and exercise are things that are too hard for us, our population. Many can lose weight but keeping it off is a different story. Some can't lose it to begin with.

While traditional diet and exercise are the kind of hard we cannot do for whatever reason, the band is the kind of hard we CAN do. But you have to want it and you have to be willing to stop the excuses (not specifically you but "you" in general) and stop justifying poor behaviors. We are all going to have hard times in life. Whether it is finances, marriage/relationship issues, loss of a loved one, whatever. We all experience hard times in life and we have always justified more food because we are going through difficult phases in life. Part of the change, the lifestyle change, is to stop justifying and excusing bad behaviors.

To me that is the hard part of banding.

[kacee 3]

Apologies from me for being so harsh and I did not mean to be "unnice". The world isn't always nice to us and life isn't a cakewalk. I guess it's because it seems I've read so MANY threads recently from newly banded folks who are barely out of the chute and already saying what a "horrible thing it is" "I want it out" and "I can't do it" and I think this just caught me at the wrong time. I really didn't mean to dump on you, honest. And I do know that things "come up" money wise, to bite you in the butt when you least expect it....the best-laid plans of mice and men, and all that. I guess what you have to do is sit down and assess your situation and start turning around the things you have control over. First to find out what's up with your hubby (I know it's hard to drag info out of them....the male species and communication do not go hand in hand). I wonder if he could be reacting in the predictable way of fear that you will "get better" and "leave him" once you are a "new person". Especially if he is not willing to talk it through...he may not be consciously aware of it or even be able to verbalize it. Anger is an end result of some fear. Getting to the bottom of that will help you in turn be able to cope with the other things in your life that feel out of whack right now. Just like losing weight...don't look at the total picture right now. Compartmentalize your problems, and take them one box at a time....open the box, assess, and strategize on the best way to turn it around, address it and move on to the next one (not the whole bunch). Good luck to you and give it all time, but don't just accept the negative as preordained and get mired in it. It's really easy to fall into a victim mentality and that is such poison to the body. Lord knows we've all been there though...

[kacee 3]

Jack, dude. You are the most refreshing person I've ever had the fortune to read. Thank you for injecting your breath of sanity in this insane world...and heaven knows I am right in there with the looneys....:biggrin1:

[no one 23 0]

Please, take a deep breath and relax. I do not belive it is the band, I believe it is the doctor!! Look around for a second opinion. The most expensive part is already done... If your doctor can not find time to fit you in, that speaks for itself.... Get a second oppinion. I had it done, but I started loosing after my third adjustment- I felt just like you. 3 fills later- 105 lbs lighter.

[harmony8411 0]

bandster 1007

I agree with you. This is a forum where you should be allowed to express yourself. You have done so and seemingly thought about the replies that you received. I do not believe that you cannot express your frustration for fear of upsetting a potential band canidate. If they don't take the time to read through your entire post that is their issue. You expressed yourself well and said what you needed to say to deal with your pain. As a person waiting to be banded, I was not scared away by your post. I was saddened and wanted you to get the encouragement you needed. Most people gave you that. Continue to take steps to more forward working with and not against your band.

[Chris61 0]

Bandster I would like to suggest the following,

1) Keep in mind that the end of the year is coming and it will be tax time. You need to take a real close look at how you will file them this year. Since you self paid you should be able to get a lot back. You might need to file alone so that AGI of 7.5% will be less for you. This should help to pay down your bill.

2) I would go and talk with the doctor and find out why he is not able to get you. Then I would set up a plan with him in regards to how often he wants to see you and when you can get fills. My wife and I did this the other day and he wants to see us every 6 weeks and then will see about fills. We have both had 2 fills and I know I need another one. Just take it one day at a time with things. Also I would suggest that you talk with him and your other doctor about what pills you can and can not take. I would even try to find a band friendly doctor who can help you with weight loss.

3) As far as burping and gas, my doctor said that this is comon. He said that some people are more prone to swallow air. I also have sleep Apena and feel that this is also causing me to burp and pass also.

4) I would also talk with your doctor to see if he has differant hours. I would also go and talk to your employer about how often you will need to go to the doctor etc.

If there is anything else we can help you with you can PM or e-mail me.

Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and things will be better in 08.

Chris

[tsunami1967 0]

Bandster 1007: I wish I had wisdom to share, but I'm a newbie, I would like for you to know that I read your entire post and I can relate. It does get better, everything always does. That doesn't help much when you're in the middle of the crap though. Big huge hug to you honey, keep us posted on how everything is going.

[Liz1531 3]

Hi twin!!!! I'm also self pay and suddenly the extra payment is way too much for our family and my hubby and I have had it out several times for me putting this debt on us. Also, I GAINED weight as well and I've been out of surgery for over 3 months. The rest of my August thread is losing left and right. I FINALLY got a fill and it's JUST started working in the last week. I finally feel much more restricted. Hang in there and this day will come. I can't tell you how I've been hanging my head in front of those who know I put my family in debt and paid $8500 in order to gain weight!!!!! Who does that? What was I thinking. So, I'm eating way less (as of last week) and lost two lbs. I am praying this 2 lb a week loss keeps up!!! Please please!! I feel ya!!!

[bandster_1007 1]

Personally, I'd take a couple of them cheeseballs and introduce my little brother to the concept of 'tough love'....

:confused: ..that was the funniest thing that i have read all day.

and you are absolutely right..it is time for me to prioritize and stop focusing and what is going on and instead focus on what i can do about.

i still haven't talked to my brother about it...and honestly he has 4 times as many problems as i have right now...utilities are being shut off, baby on the way, and a $7/hour job that is an hour away. i mean..don't get me wrong..he did kind of dig his hole, but he is struggling now as it is. (i still do not understand why he couldn't tell me, but my mom...you know the type..defender...says that she thinks he has really just been too consumed with everything that is going on with the baby, etc....true...very true.

_____________________________________________

this morning was rock bottom for me. i don't know maybe it is a woman thing, but that seems stereotypical..i'm sitting in my office whiping tears from the corners of my eyes because i just felt awful...i just felt utterly and completely out of control. add to the my guilt of feeling sorry for myself, and knowing that i need to suck it up and get over, and i was a nut case. however...today i did not seek food for comfort....instead i came on the forum and i posted...honestly.

that was my distraction..from food..and it worked. not only did i not even take not one sip with any food today (i've been sipping), but i ate 1/4 of what i ate yesterday.

and why was i able to do this, do i think?? (rhetorical..i know)..i was able to come on here and express how i feel and i received numerous private messages and responses that said..hey it gets better..you aren't the only one..or give advice that is from an outside perspective.

everyone has their problems...everyone...for me today..i needed to express mine and get it off my chest.. i'm sorry that some people think i am giving the band "a bad rep", but this is hard. and wasa mentioned that dieting and exercising is hard..it is. i HAVE to do it, but i can't seem to stick to anything. i see these expectations in the eyes of others, and i feel this tremendous pressure that i am not losing..and i was just bizerk. and my financial troubles are nothing special..everyone has them. we are stressed, but we have food on the table, presents under the tree, and enough to give to some local charities. however, in the heat of a stress meltdown, it is hard to think rationally...so i chose to come on here and vent.

and it worked....

so cheers to me..the band hater...by next month maybe he will become my friend again....but this morning..i hated him. i will not ..absolutely not apologize for saying that or try to make amends. my band was the tip of the iceberg and the only thing that i felt i should be able to control, and i can't. so..i hated it. now we are in the process of making up. i'm still healing though...haha.

[bandster_1007 1]

oh man...where do i begin..

first let me say that i truly thank every one of you for your posts (i just finished reading..i had stopped to respond to jacks).

kacee- you are right..hubby does have that fear, and he feels it is his manly duty right now to work all of the time to make up for our financial troubles..that in itself is a wall..you know..never see each other..when you do ..he's tired..i'm bloated and fat and wallowing in self pity..i'm cranky..he becomes cranky....it just goes in that cycle. and you are right, the negative is not preordained..and that was perhaps the most frustrating thing for me..is i felt like i was trapped in the "negative room" and everyone was screaming at me or looking on at me with disappointed and accusing eyes. i generally try to be positive. and i agree that the world is not always nice...as i felt like it wasn't being this morning...i could sense from your post that you must have been reading a lot of posts similar to mine (i have not been...i've only been reading my subscribed ones...time crunch). but still, now matter what your opinion is i accept it fully. just as i have a right to express myself on here, so does someone else. you know? i needed to pick myself up and stop whining..and i was trying desperately hard but i just kept falling down, and everyone around me in real life was not lending a helping hand..instead it seemed they were casting stones.

perception, i believe, is 100% of the battle...this morning my perception was heavily skewed by my cortisone levels and my own self persecution and doubt. so i vented, got encouragement, and now i'm getting over it.

chris- thank you for your many suggestions. i talked to my band doctor today and i was in tears. told them about eating 4 pieces of pizza..etc. and they said "it's ok". they also told me to relax and that they would normally be able to fit me in, but there are a lot of illnesses going around right now and they are having a lot of poeple coming in for unfills because they are sick. hey, i understand..if i'm ever too tight..they better get me in. however, if this continues..a second opinion might be a really good idea. thanks for telling me about the gas thing..it is horrid and it sure doesn't help in the attraction department.

liz-thank you for sharing. i hope to be on here in a month or to explaining to some other person who is freaking out that it will get better. i'm glad to hear that it has for you.

harmony-thanks for the support...

tsunami--i'm new too..haha..we joined at the same time.

ok..now i feel like i'm giving a speech for receiving an oscar...lol. thank you all. i really cannot express how much this has helped EVERY POST has helped. i'm not one who is easily offended and i am very open minded. if i were i would never be able to post here (personally).

and thanks wasa..i can't tell you how comforting it is to hear that someone else finds it incredibly hard if not impossible to diet and exercise. i'm not sure that you yourself were unable to, but i hate that i can't. it bothers me, but that is WHY i got the band. i knew i would have to work the band, but i didn't expect to have to do ALL the work and be in the same shoes as i was before surgery....so hopefully it gets better, i'm sure it will..i'll get my restriction..lose some lbs..have some energy exercise, and WANT to eat healthy foods because i can see the results.

and as far as head hunger..i'm not going to lie...posting today worked like a charm..so this just may be the beginning of many vents..i will however put a disclaimer like (i hate my band (today)).

[cookielover 1]

I was reading through the posts and thinking to myself: "How would I feel if I wasn't losing weight after 2 months?" I would feel pretty much the same way: FRUSTRATED and ready to vent! Whatever the reasons her doctor, her eating habits, her stress, she should be allowed to vent to us. We are the only people that truly get it. The words of wisdom that I receive here are words I literally live by. I am so glad that I have somewhere to go that I can talk about anything.

Bandster-

I can tell by your tone that your day has brighten up a little bit. I don't know if it was anything we said, but I know that when I need support this is the place I go, and it helps me. I know 2008 is going to be your kick-ass year. I am glad you came here when it got really rough, because that's what we are here for!

[bandster_1007 1]

oh yeah..i forgot to mention..the card and the candy..earned my spot back in the bed..lol

dh did joke after he told me how surprised he was and how much he appreciated it (i tend to be WAY to stubborn, and i think i have only apologized twice during our entire relationship..i think if you apologize too much it is meaningless, instead show it)..anyways..he said.."you ruined my plan..i was going to come home and piss you off again so i could get the whole bed to myself"..haha............that is his way of expressing himself..and i agree..it was pretty funny. (makes me realize how petty i am being)

[georgia girl 35]

Bandster 1007

I can definitely relate to you about the finances. When my son was born, DH and I decided that I would stay home with him, so we live off of his paycheck alone (paycheck to paycheck). It's rough, but we have been able to get everything we need, and that's all that matter's right now. It's especially hard this time of year.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I truly hope things get better for you soon. I felt the same way as you, right after I was banded, and it has gotten so much better. Hang in there. ((HUGS))

[new_me_2008 1]

Glad to hear things are getting better. Hey - you even came up with a way to battle head hunger - posting on LBT. I need to try that!

[SVM 0]

First of all, just take a deep breath! Relax, relate and release. Since the new year is coming, try to prioritize things and eliminate all the stress in your life. You are putting your health at risk by stressing out on top of being overweight. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to be strong. What's done is done. I'd hate to see you totally regret going through all this to get the band, then give up. Hang in there. but you have to get a handle on things. Once you have a clear mind, things will come together. It may also help to go and talk to someone like a therapist, just to get things in perspective. Whatever you do, don't bottle your feeling up. That is when we tend to turn to food for comfort. You can do it!