Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

This weekend my nerves are in hyperdrive ahead of my Dec 5th sleeve surgery. While you might think it’s surgery itself or pain or resulting restriction that might be making me nervous the root of my nerves is more psychological.

I’m nervous about losing a part of myself, how my relationships might change, and to some degree not having my weight as a protective shield that despite all its faults seems to do a good job of repelling assholes.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited for the surgery and know it’s the right step for me, and will help be become more healthful and confident, but curious if anyone else is worrying about similar things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, smc124 said:

This weekend my nerves are in hyperdrive ahead of my Dec 5th sleeve surgery. While you might think it’s surgery itself or pain or resulting restriction that might be making me nervous the root of my nerves is more psychological.

I’m nervous about losing a part of myself, how my relationships might change, and to some degree not having my weight as a protective shield that despite all its faults seems to do a good job of repelling assholes.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited for the surgery and know it’s the right step for me, and will help be become more healthful and confident, but curious if anyone else is worrying about similar things.

I started therapy about a month and a half or two months before surgery. Most of my fears were about complications, not so much about relationships.

I once lost a lot of weight, about 5 or 6 years ago. So, I know that my marriage can handle me being thinner and eating differently. My goal is to be about 30 pounds smaller than I was at that point, but I'm not worried about my relationship.

As far as attention from men, it's not really something I'm exposed to, very much. I don't really go anywhere where men can approach me - unless they do it at the grocery store or post office. In which case I can just say, "Thank you. I'm flattered, but I'm married."

But, I'm sure I won't look like a good target, anyway - even after I lose weight. I dress very, very modestly. In my profile picture, I'm wearing a pajama shirt that is probably more skin than you'll see of me in public - that and my lower arms. I mostly wear t-shirts and ankle-length skirts when I leave the house. I also cover my hair. There are so many other ladies out there, to take a man's attention - he likely won't want to waste his time looking at me. And that's the way I like it. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think therapy will definitely be an important supportive service I should layer on after surgery. Similarly I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago and my goal is to be about 15 lbs less than that, I was single then as I am now and I think that my experiences then was where some of this is stemming from.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

56 minutes ago, smc124 said:

I think therapy will definitely be an important supportive service I should layer on after surgery. Similarly I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago and my goal is to be about 15 lbs less than that, I was single then as I am now and I think that my experiences then was where some of this is stemming from.

I am really happy that I decided to see a therapist. food is just a symptom, it's not the problem. The problem is me and what's in my head. And I'm really hoping to avoid transfer addictions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I fully understand. The psychological aspect of all of this can be rough to handle & many ignore it. I'm in a support group with Kaiser, we meet/talk every week & that helps me a ton. I truly feel being in a positive headspace is just as important as our dietary discipline

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×