What irritates you?

[Guest ruprplxd]

What are some things that people say or do after you've had the lap band surgery that really kind of irritate you? Such as always asking how much weight you've lost or if you should really be eating something? I'm thinking about putting together a list for my friends and family in case I become irritated with them for no apparent reason.

Thanks

[Alexandra 55]

The real biggie, which only one person I've encountered has done, is to dismiss my achievement as being somehow less real because I was banded. Even 18 months later she still seems to think I could (should?) have lost 100 lbs "on my own." She didn't know me for long prior to banding, so I excuse her by remembering that she just has no idea what I was up against.

Otherwise, the thing that really gets me when anyone does it is expect some sort of explanation about how I am losing the weight. Yestereday I went to a kids' birthday party and saw other moms there I hadn't seen in over a year. One of them told me she did a triple-take when she saw me get out of the car, and then she just stood there as if she was waiting for me to explain myself. Another woman asked me if I was going to Weight Watchers. HA!

Annoying, yes.

[nightingale2u 42]

Before I was banded... I watched my sister go through the gastric bypass... I was highly irritated by the folks that wouldn't even aknowledge her weight-loss because she had bariatric surgery... as if it didn't count because she wasn't losing it "on her own". Well... news flash... if one is going to WW or Jenny Craig... or any program... they are getting tools to help them do it on their own... just like we are. I even heard titterings of... "she'll gain it back"... well... the person that said that was attending WW... lost a huge amount of weight and guess what... SHE did gain it back and my sister hasn't said one unkind word to her and she looks pretty darn fabulous in her silence.

[Mita 2]

I have a friend here and she was banded back in Jan of last year anyway I was coming out of the break room one day and another co-worker was making a comment on how much weight I lost when this person yelled out that I had the surgery. I just kept walking I was so mad that she took it upon herself to take it upon herself to yell it out in front of the whole lunch room. I do tell certain people but those people I do not know well I do not mention it.

[kimalicious 5]

When people in my family don't understand what the surgery is that I have had. They think I will lose as fast as the gastric bypass. They ask me why it is taking me so long to lose my weight because other people they know have lost it quicker! UGGHGHGHGH

[melissalee 2]

I'd have to say the most annoying thing that has happened to me so far besides the comments that I took "the easy way out" was that immediately after having the surgery, I was suddenly bumped from every lunch or after work activity with my co-workers. I guess they seem to feel that I can no longer enjoy any social activities with me because as I was informed by two of them already "we don't want to tempt you" or "we feel guilty eating in front of you". And even though I have explained that I can go to a restaurant and enjoy an appetizer or other items from the menu just like everyone else, just less usually, they still feel the need to cut me from the list. It's almost as though people feel the need or feel that this has given them the authority to look out for me or that they don't trust me and think as though they have to keep me on track. Now THAT is irritating.

[I'llsucceed 1]

I told only 4 people. My dearest friend (whom I know has never breached our trust in 20 yrs) & One friend in FLA., who is out of state & therefore not a threat. My Mother (in case of death) & my sister(who lives in town & would help w/recovery). Well I have yet to have the surgery & my sister has driven me so crazy with backhanded comments of support, that I have choosen to tell her I decided against the surgery. So only the 3 gals will know & 2 are out of state. I just didn't want to go through all the things you guys have listed already. I mean its tough enough. I thank my lucky stars for our monthly support groups & this website. Strangers are the best supporters around. They usually never judge & always boost your spirits! I have only 2 days till my dietian appt- Than I get to wait for insurance. I hope it goes quickly.

[Jammin & Losin 1]

Well I have told My Husband, mother ,father,brother and sister Inlaw. I also told the 3 ladys I work with.All which have supported me in my desission . I am very excited about having this surgery and I'm not letting anyone take that away from me. I think there will always be people who just don't understand.

I am having a problem telling my Inlaws and I just am not sure what to say. It has been so easy telling every one else but I just cant seem to make that call. They live out of state and I don't see them but about twice a year. My father inlaw is an obsesive worry wort . He throws everything out of proportion and nags my mother inlaw to death about petty things.He is on alot of medicine for his own health problems and i think this is alot of why he is like this.I just don't want him to have any other reason to be upset. I just feel I will get alot of negative comments and I just don't know if I can handle that from them. There was no doubt that my family would support me. After all, they have seen me struggle with my weight since I was 10 years old ,but my husbands family I feel just doesn't understand how my weight has affected me. Should I just call and get it over with or wait till after the surgery to tell them . Or will that hurt there feelings that I didn't tell them before? I don't want this to be a big dark secret . I want to get this done and have a better healthier life. I just am not sure they will understand.

Any body got any suggestions for me while we are on this subject?

[leatha_g 4]

I told my co-workers and at first, I had one lady who did not have a weight problem asking me every single time I saw her, 'how much have you lost?' Finally, one day I told her .02 oz's more than the last time you asked.. ugh..lol. She never asked again..

[blossom 2]

I have chosen to stay in the lapband closet, for the most part. I told my DH, mother, sister, and my best friend. If anyone tells it will be my mom, but so far, she has kept her mouth shut for once, LOL! I just don't want to feel like I am under a microscope. I feel it's nobody's business how I choose to live my life or lose my weight!

[Mariposa Bella 3]

I too have only told a handful of people, my husband of course, he forked over the cash for the surgery and other family members as well, I wish I wouldn't have told some of my family members, actually I didn't tell them, my mother did and some of their comments have been very stupid. They also think I took the easy way out, as if this is easy, little do they know. And I am sorry to say that my two best friends have taken it upon themselves to tell others, which upset me very much. My bestest friend in the world disappointed me when I found out she told a former boss of mine, which is also a dear friend of mine, that I had the surgery, I don't think it was her place to tell him, her explanation for this was that they are going to find out anyways, so I asked HOW WILL THEY KNOW??? she said she just assumed that because my wieght would come off so fast people would know, little does she know that this takes time and is not a miracle cure or that the band surgery is a magic wand and that I will wake up the next morning and be skinny. ha, ha -- I wish. I was so upset with her, she apologized and said she would not do it again. As for comments from other people that I am loosing weight, well it doesn't really surprise them because they know I am eating healthier and that I am working out with a personal trainer twice a week and that I spend my lunch hour at Curves every other day. Loosing the weight is work, the band has allowed me to not over indulge, but I doing my part and really working at it, just like all of you. I have not lost anymore wieght now, but I am planning on a fill next month and hopefully that will give me some restriction, becasue I don't feel like I have that right now. Well to tell or not to tell is very personal, and you should make that decision on your own, but I do recommend that you only tell those people that love you and will respect your decision, you should also sit down and educate them on what the procedure is and how it works.

L, e

[Mariposa Bella 3]

Sorry for all the mispelled words, I should start using spell check, huh...

[TrishS 3]

I have told everyone I dont care! I told all my family, I told all my husbands family and I dont have any friends so didnt tell them lol Anyway I think any comments after being banded will NOT compare to the comments I get now!! The looks I get now!! I think it will be well worth all the comments (if any). Only my Fmaily Dr. tells me Im taking the easy way out... I finally told him NO, Dr. Im not taking the easy way out, Im taking the ONLY way out!!!!!!! So there LOL

[Mariposa Bella 3]

You tell him Trish, like I said its a very personal decision. I chose not to tell my husbands family, because they don't like me as it is, so I know that any opinions or comments from them would not be good ones. So I am sparring myself from their negativity. My mother-in-law always tells me how much heavier I am from the first time she met me, she is very crude. I really just chose to not tell them, they are very ignorant and would not understand.

[Bigcal 0]

Trish I recently had this conversation with a cousin and as I was explaining the surgery to a friend, my cousin who is much bigger than I had the nerve to tell me that I was taking the easy way out, and I had to explain to him that no this is not only easy, but maybe the hardest thing that I had attempted. As we Stood there at a wedding reception, his plate over filled with everything I told him don't you think for one minute that I don't want a plate like the one you are holding after only 5 day post op that is no longer an option for me and that what was easy was going on one diet after another and failing before the diet get started good and restarting again next week just to fall back into that victious cycle again and again... ect so whats easy is you standing there stuffing your face what's hard is me not.