Conflicting Body Images?

[SpartanMaker 951]

So I'm curious if others have this same thing going on...

I was talking to my wife about body image the other day and she mentioned that she seems to have 2 different internal body images of herself. I realized I have the same.

I basically have one image of myself when I was much younger and very fit. I think most of the time, this is my "default" image. I am sometimes shocked when I see myself in a mirror or in photos, because I'm a lot older and fatter. But here's the kicker: There's also a body image I have of myself that's actually of me at my heaviest. I notice this one mostly in picking out clothing and being surprised it will fit.

This seems so odd to be that I have both of these conflicting images internalized and sometimes I think of myself as one and sometimes the other depending on the circumstances. Anyone else experience this?

[Old Salt 64]

I have those two conflicting images of myself and I do not even go to surgery until next month. I think most men have that internal self-image of themselves of an earlier age and face reality only when shaving. However, even though that "older" image is hard to swallow, the "old & fat" image is far worse (also for me when clothes shopping).

I am looking forward to just the conflicting body images of that young fella and that "old skinny" guy shaving in the mirror.

Reminds me of always wondering why my old high school mates look so old. 😁

[Sunnyway 345]

I think this phenomenon is common. I certainly have experienced it. At my heaviest, I didn't think I was "that big" and conducted myself with confidence and style. Then I lost weight and I could not see the weight loss! I lost 70 lbs before I could see the difference in the mirror although everyone else was saying they could see a marvelous change.

Now I've lost another 30 lbs and I'm going through another dysmorphic experience. I've gotten so many complements and positive comments that now I picture myself as smaller than I really am. It's shocking to look in a full length mirror and realize that I am still morbidly obese.

[kaylee50 61]

Your sidebar stats (what is that thing called?) say you've lost an amazing 65 lbs, just one month post-op. In light of that, it's no wonder you're experiencing this!

It reminds me of the first time I had my long hair cut into a bob. I kept reaching back to fix my ponytail. My husband said it was like a phantom limb. It took about a month for me to get used to my new hairdo. I wonder how long it takes to get used to a new, healthier version of yourself. Keep us posted please, update this thread when it happens.

[SpartanMaker 951]

19 minutes ago, kaylee50 said:

Your sidebar stats (what is that thing called?) say you've lost an amazing 65 lbs, just one month post-op. In light of that, it's no wonder you're experiencing this!

It reminds me of the first time I had my long hair cut into a bob. I kept reaching back to fix my ponytail. My husband said it was like a phantom limb. It took about a month for me to get used to my new hairdo. I wonder how long it takes to get used to a new, healthier version of yourself. Keep us posted please, update this thread when it happens.

For clarity, the 65 pounds lost is from when I started working with the bariatric program. I actually lost about 50 of that pre-op. I'm only 1 month post op at this time and lost 16 pounds in month one.

I'll definitely keep everyone updated. I suspect as I get closer to goal both of these images will still be there, but hopefully the "fat me" one will fade over time!

[Old Salt 64]

25 minutes ago, kaylee50 said:

It reminds me of the first time I had my long hair cut into a bob. I kept reaching back to fix my ponytail. My husband said it was like a phantom limb.

I am going to steal that term for my future "phantom Belly" 🤣

25 minutes ago, kaylee50 said:

[Arabesque 7,467]

It takes time for our head to catch up with our new reality & throw in some body dysmorphia for some more brain trickery.

I’ve found now those mental pictures of myself are more just memories of what I once was but I still have moments of catching a reflection & being surprised.

PS - It takes time for other people to see the new real you too which is why you may get those comments like: you’ve lost too much, when are you going to stop losing, etc.

Edited October 21, 2022 by Arabesque

[kaylee50 61]

I listened to this female-centric podcast during my walk today, which somewhat addresses this temporary cognitive dissonance following bariatric procedures: https://drmariza.com/435-most-effective-way-to-transform-your-self-image/. It's on Apple Podcasts. The guest speaker has lost a lot of weight, in addition to making other significant changes in her life. She suggests you change your environment (e.g., the contents of your bookcase), your personal style, etc., to allow the external match the internal. Kinda interesting, but OP is male so his mileage may vary.