Crazy and Sad Realizations

[loli_lotus 64]

Does anyone else who grew up obese have sad little realizations like this?

I'm 22 days post op and yesterday when I weighed in I realized I weigh less than I did at the end of 8th grade, 13 years old. Which is cause for celebration but also makes me a little sad that I was an obese child and no one really tried to do anything about it. My stepdad would just tell me I had to stop eating junk food but not really give me an option (it's not like I was doing the grocery shopping), and my mom had a RNY when I was 12 but didn't try to change my diet with hers. I weigh less than I did at that age, but I'm 30 and still in the obese range, which makes me feel really bad for child-me. I also noticed when I lay a certain way, I can feel bones I've never felt before, which is also kinda sad. I've never seen my hip bones because I went from cute cubby baby body to fat kid body really fast. Idk that's just kind of crazy and sad to me.

I have my weekly therapy session today and we're going to tackle these feelings, but I just thought I'd post here amongst people who might have felt some of the same things.

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 656]

All of this is completely valid. I am right there with you. I have been dieting since I was 12 and now well into my 30s I weigh less than I did then. It is shocking and saddening. But also, I'm so, so grateful for my new life and this new body (even if many days I don't recognize it).

[kcuster83 1,504]

Valid, very valid!

My entire family is obese, immediate and extended. Literally every single person... I have fault it my entire life and never remember seeing the "100's" on the scale. I am 6ft tall so I don't know if I ever will but I would like to see 199 just once so I can say I officially weighed under 200 lbs. I just posted about this earlier today. haha

Obviously I didn't go from toddler weight to over 200 lbs but I guess I was over 200 once I was at the age to weigh myself and remember.

Regardless, I have struggled with loosing and gaining over 100 lbs multiple times through my life. That is what brought me to surgery. I hope it helps me maintain my weight loss this time.

[summerseeker 2,061]

Forgive and hug the child you were. There is nothing you can do to change that part of your life. Everything you learn from now on is the new you. We are reborn and with luck shouldn't remake the same mistakes. On wards and downwards

[heartofmercury 186]

Valid, very valid!
My entire family is obese, immediate and extended. Literally every single person... I have fault it my entire life and never remember seeing the "100's" on the scale. I am 6ft tall so I don't know if I ever will but I would like to see 199 just once so I can say I officially weighed under 200 lbs. I just posted about this earlier today. haha
Obviously I didn't go from toddler weight to over 200 lbs but I guess I was over 200 once I was at the age to weigh myself and remember.
Regardless, I have struggled with loosing and gaining over 100 lbs multiple times through my life. That is what brought me to surgery. I hope it helps me maintain my weight loss this time.

@kcuster83 I didn't realize you are 6ft tall! I'm so happy to know there's another tall gal on here! I'm 6 ft 2 inches and when I tell people my goal is to get to onederland they always question... "is that it?" I've also battled 100 pounds over the last decade. Some years I would feel like I was winning, but most I would be struggling and railing against srubborn weight that would not come off. I'm so grateful for this surgery and the chance at a healthier me.

[heartofmercury 186]

Does anyone else who grew up obese have sad little realizations like this?
I'm 22 days post op and yesterday when I weighed in I realized I weigh less than I did at the end of 8th grade, 13 years old. Which is cause for celebration but also makes me a little sad that I was an obese child and no one really tried to do anything about it. My stepdad would just tell me I had to stop eating junk food but not really give me an option (it's not like I was doing the grocery shopping), and my mom had a RNY when I was 12 but didn't try to change my diet with hers. I weigh less than I did at that age, but I'm 30 and still in the obese range, which makes me feel really bad for child-me. I also noticed when I lay a certain way, I can feel bones I've never felt before, which is also kinda sad. I've never seen my hip bones because I went from cute cubby baby body to fat kid body really fast. Idk that's just kind of crazy and sad to me.
I have my weekly therapy session today and we're going to tackle these feelings, but I just thought I'd post here amongst people who might have felt some of the same things.

Congratulations on the weight loss. Also, I understand not having a normal sized childhood. I wanted so much to have the experiences my friends were having when they were picking out prom dresses or going shopping for bathing suits in the summer. You're not alone. Sending you hugs!

[kcuster83 1,504]

On 10/3/2022 at 7:53 AM, heartofmercury said:

@kcuster83 I didn't realize you are 6ft tall! I'm so happy to know there's another tall gal on here! I'm 6 ft 2 inches and when I tell people my goal is to get to onederland they always question... "is that it?" I've also battled 100 pounds over the last decade. Some years I would feel like I was winning, but most I would be struggling and railing against srubborn weight that would not come off. I'm so grateful for this surgery and the chance at a healthier me.

There are a few ladies in the 6ft range on here, I just can't remember names. haha

I like being tall but hate my big feet. HAHA that will never change.

[heartofmercury 186]

There are a few ladies in the 6ft range on here, I just can't remember names. haha
I like being tall but hate my big feet. HAHA that will never change.

I feel ya. Big feet are a bummer. It makes finding cute shoes way harder.

[kcuster83 1,504]

Just now, heartofmercury said:

I feel ya. Big feet are a bummer. It makes finding cute shoes way harder.

100%!

I usually wear mens sneakers and flip flops. 😕

Women's dress shoes, I have to order. 🤣🤣

[qtdoll 535]

YEP 100%. The first time I ever paid attention to my weight was in middle school & I weighed 160. In High School I weighed 180. I'm only 5'2 too. I'm 30 now & I'm 10lbs away from weighing less than I did in high school. I had undiagnosed PCOS & I was active too. I wish a doctor bothered to wonder why I had so many PCOS symptoms as a teen.