Trying to get out of my head....

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

I've started to notice something about my mindset with food now. I know how much I'm supposed to eat, but every bite makes me feel like I'm going to stop losing weight (especially when the scale doesn't move for a day or 2) and I find myself restricting what I eat. Because I never lost my hunger hormone, it's always a dance trying to figure out when to stop eating (it's hard to stop when you're still so hungry but you've eaten the allotted amount for that meal).

So now I've somehow gotten myself to the point where I don't like to eat anything because I just know that I know it'll pack the weight back on. I'm always hungry, so I'm getting used to ignoring it. So it seems I operate in extremes. I either eat and eat and eat until I'm so full I can barely move, or I hardly eat at all and ignore the hunger because I'm afraid of gaining.

For example, for Breakfast, I had my Protein Shake (Fairlife with caffeine) and a P3 Portable Protein snack Pack with Turkey Almonds & Colby Jack cheese. For lunch I had a few bell pepper strips (about 6) and hummus. For dinner I had 4 lemon pepper chicken wings and a sugar free protein gatorade. And for a snack later I'll have a few pieces of watermelon and pineapple. That's an example of how/what I eat per day lately. Plus I work out twice a day.

It's like I went from one disordered mind set (massively over eating) to another (not eating nearly enough and working off most of what I eat). Not sure why I'm so scared of food now, but there has to be a happy medium somewhere, and I have to find it. I get upset if I eat within my limits because I'm convinced I'll gain weight again, so I eat WAY under what I'm supposed to. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. I swear...

Edited July 4, 2022 by SleeveDiva2022

[ShoppGirl 4,886]

I haven’t experienced this but I have heard of it. It’s basically swapping out one disordered eating behavior for another. Hopefully you will find some advice on here but it also couldn’t hurt to see a specialist. Many people on here have such great things to say about bariatric therapy and it seems to have helped them a great deal. I say you have come this far, what’s one more appointment to see if it feels like a good fit and if you think they can help you.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

10 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

I haven’t experienced this but I have heard of it. It’s basically swapping out one disordered eating behavior for another. Hopefully you will find some advice on here but it also couldn’t hurt to see a specialist. Many people on here have such great things to say about bariatric therapy and it seems to have helped them a great deal. I say you have come this far, what’s one more appointment to see if it feels like a good fit and if you think they can help you.

That's definitely something I'm going to look into. I hope to get some other advice or suggestions while I wait to find, and talk to, a bariatric therapist. This mindset is something that I really started to notice yesterday and I talked to a couple of my friends about it and they were worried that I could easily fall down the rabbit hole of ED if I'm not careful. I was stunned when I heard this, and new right away I wanted to come post here and see what others think.

[Arabesque 7,335]

Addiction transfer is not uncommon after weight loss surgery. When your addiction to food can’t be satisfied, you seek an alternative. Alcohol is a big concern as it’s often the easiest to slip into. Then smoking and sexual addictions. So I think @shoppgirl could be right in her suggestion as to what you may be experiencing. It’s also a control issue. Aspects of your life seem out of control because of all the changes you are making so you try to control at least one thing. In your case ignoring your hunger which then spirals into you overeating.

Yes, many swear by the help of a therapist to navigate these challenges. I’m glad you recognise some of what you’re battling & you are open to seeking a therapist to support you. That alone puts you ahead.

PS - try adding a more substantial Protein for lunch than just hummus. Try chicken or turkey tenders, fish or other seafood, etc. To me hummus & capsicum is more like a snack. Is the protein snack a snack or part of your breakfast? If it’s part of your breakfast, you may need something more textually substantial (which can be more satisfying than just a shake) at breakfast as it could be why you have the snack as well. (Remember a shake is equivalent to a meal.) Try scrambled eggs or an omelette with cheese, bacon/turkey/chicken, & some vegetables like spinach, celery, mushrooms, etc. (cook the vegetables first) or rolled oats made on milk with seeds.

[lvetere83 25]

On 07/03/2022 at 21:21, SleeveDiva2022 said:

I've started to notice something about my mindset with food now. I know how much I'm supposed to eat, but every bite makes me feel like I'm going to stop losing weight (especially when the scale doesn't move for a day or 2) and I find myself restricting what I eat. Because I never lost my hunger hormone, it's always a dance trying to figure out when to stop eating (it's hard to stop when you're still so hungry but you've eaten the allotted amount for that meal).

So now I've somehow gotten myself to the point where I don't like to eat anything because I just know that I know it'll pack the weight back on. I'm always hungry, so I'm getting used to ignoring it. So it seems I operate in extremes. I either eat and eat and eat until I'm so full I can barely move, or I hardly eat at all and ignore the hunger because I'm afraid of gaining.

For example, for Breakfast, I had my Protein Shake (Fairlife with caffeine) and a P3 Portable Protein snack Pack with Turkey Almonds & Colby Jack cheese. For lunch I had a few bell pepper strips (about 6) and hummus. For dinner I had 4 lemon pepper chicken wings and a sugar free Protein gatorade. And for a snack later I'll have a few pieces of watermelon and pineapple. That's an example of how/what I eat per day lately. Plus I work out twice a day.

It's like I went from one disordered mind set (massively over eating) to another (not eating nearly enough and working off most of what I eat). Not sure why I'm so scared of food now, but there has to be a happy medium somewhere, and I have to find it. I get upset if I eat within my limits because I'm convinced I'll gain weight again, so I eat WAY under what I'm supposed to. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. I swear...

How far out from surgery are you? I really can’t even wait to eat that much lol. I can finally start purées Friday and I can’t wait to eat! I’m so hungry!

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

19 minutes ago, Arabesque said:

Addiction transfer is not uncommon after weight loss surgery. When your addiction to food can’t be satisfied, you seek an alternative. Alcohol is a big concern as it’s often the easiest to slip into. Then smoking and sexual addictions. So I think @shoppgirl could be right in her suggestion as to what you may be experiencing. It’s also a control issue. Aspects of your life seem out of control because of all the changes you are making so you try to control at least one thing. In your case ignoring your hunger which then spirals into you overeating.

Yes, many swear by the help of a therapist to navigate these challenges. I’m glad you recognise some of what you’re battling & you are open to seeking a therapist to support you. That alone puts you ahead.

PS - try adding a more substantial Protein for lunch than just hummus. Try chicken or turkey tenders, fish or other seafood, etc. To me hummus & capsicum is more like a snack. Is the Protein snack a snack or part of your Breakfast? If it’s part of your breakfast, you may need something more textually substantial (which can be more satisfying than just a shake) at breakfast as it could be why you have the snack as well. (Remember a shake is equivalent to a meal.) Try scrambled eggs or an omelette with cheese, bacon/turkey/chicken, & some vegetables like spinach, celery, mushrooms, etc. (cook the vegetables first) or rolled oats made on milk with seeds.

My concern isn't that I'm going to start over eating. My concern is that I'm so afraid of gaining weight that I under eat and then exercise it all off. The protein pack is a small snack pack that I have as breakfast. Every time I have something more substantial, I'm so freaked out that it's going to cause weight gain that I restrict even more and ignore more hunger. Clearly I went from over eating to not eating enough or more substantial foods. My friend said I need to eat more than just enough to survive, that I have to actually eat to live properly and happily. It's just hard to do that these days.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

20 minutes ago, lvetere83 said:

How far out from surgery are you? I really can’t even wait to eat that much lol. I can finally start purées Friday and I can’t wait to eat! I’m so hungry!

I'm 9 weeks out on Tuesday.

[redhead_che 824]

It’s like we share a brain, I swear. I went over 600 calories yesterday and the mental beat down I gave myself was horrible. Even though I burned 400 calories with exercise that same day. 🤦‍♀️

I had the sleeve first in 2017 and truthfully should have been diagnosed with some sort of restrictive eating disorder. I’m trying to be better about it this time with my revision but old habits have emerged. My nutritionist says calories for the day are not important, that I need to only stay around 60g Protein, under 35 carb, and under 30 fat amounts. I am trying to get on board with her way of thinking.

I personally benefit from a therapist because my issue is with control because of trauma background. Not a Bariatric therapist, just A therapist. Because it’s not about the food. It’s about my control and fear issues.

I am practicing intuitive eating, but I don’t know if it would help you since I think you’ve said you feel hunger quite often. I don’t, so eating when I feel hungry has helped me since my body doesn’t usually talk to me unless it needs something 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve also spoke with my team’s psychologist a few times. If your team has one that could work.

Wish I could be more help. But I’m afraid all I’ve offered is a “you are NOT alone” vibe.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

2 hours ago, redhead_che said:

It’s like we share a brain, I swear. I went over 600 calories yesterday and the mental beat down I gave myself was horrible. Even though I burned 400 calories with exercise that same day. 🤦‍♀️

I had the sleeve first in 2017 and truthfully should have been diagnosed with some sort of restrictive eating disorder. I’m trying to be better about it this time with my revision but old habits have emerged. My nutritionist says calories for the day are not important, that I need to only stay around 60g Protein, under 35 carb, and under 30 fat amounts. I am trying to get on board with her way of thinking.

I personally benefit from a therapist because my issue is with control because of trauma background. Not a Bariatric therapist, just A therapist. Because it’s not about the food. It’s about my control and fear issues.

I am practicing intuitive eating, but I don’t know if it would help you since I think you’ve said you feel hunger quite often. I don’t, so eating when I feel hungry has helped me since my body doesn’t usually talk to me unless it needs something 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve also spoke with my team’s psychologist a few times. If your team has one that could work.

Wish I could be more help. But I’m afraid all I’ve offered is a “you are NOT alone” vibe.

I'm looking into therapists. Not sure if it's a food issue or a trauma issue since I had a horrific childhood. My surgeon's office said not to worry about calories, also. They said to do 60-80g of Protein, less than 50 carbs per day, and less than 50 fats per day. I'm more obsessive with the labels now than I was when I was on Keto. It's also frustrating because in the 9 months I was on keto, I lost 100 pounds with only 1 short stall about 3 months in. It was so much easier to lose the weight back then than it is now. I'm fighting tooth and nail for every pound and hitting stall after stall. I worked out then and I work out now. But since it's such a struggle now, I'm finding I get panicky and start REALLY restricting what I eat. I've upped my work outs in both length and intensity, I religiously watch the labels and count every carb and fat in everything that goes in my mouth, and I not only don't eat junk but I don't think I even eat enough PERIOD. Yet here I am, day 4 of the same weight again. No matter what I do, I lose 5-7 pounds, then sit at a weight for a week, then lose 3 or 4, then sit another week, then lose 2 or 3 and the sit again. I have no issue with doing the work, but somehow I thought it would come a bit easier with only 20% of my stomach. It's harder to lose weight now than it was before the surgery!!!! Just freaks me out and my mind goes to not so good places.

[kmac1 69]

Have you tried logging your daily food intake? I use myfitnesspal religiously. I found that managing my daily food budget helps me manage that same anxiety. Heck, I eat dessert every single day but my conscience is clear because it’s budgeted.

[loli_lotus 64]

I'm pre-op but being scared of food and restricting is part of my disordered eating and need to be in control. For me, it definitely stems from childhood bad habits and childhood traumas. I've made such amazing progress working with my therapist about it, and she doesn't even specialize in eating disorders or bariatric therapy. It was even helpful describing a trigger for it to my pcp, who validated me and made me feel like I wasn't crazy and alone.

Like I said, I'm pre-op, and so my strategies may not help someone post-op, but giving myself a distraction and giving myself grace are the biggest helpers. Logging my food was known to make me anxious and things worse, so my therapist suggested that I only track food sometimes, mainly when I feel like I'm gaining, and to just try to trust myself the rest of the time. Obviously you (and me in the future!), have to track certain things but don't let it destroy your mental health.

Also, upping the work outs is going to cause some Water retention and you'll need to eat more to fuel yourself, unfortunately a vicious cycle that a personal trainer had to explain to me once when I was panicking about weight loss. It also helped that they had a body composition machine and I could see that though my weight wasn't budging, my fat % was lowering and my muscles mass was growing. Definitely look into a place that has one of those, or even a place that does dexa scans!

You're doing so great!!!!

[Orinskye 165]

I peeked at your surgery date on your profile and it said you had your surgery in May of 2022.

Every plan is different and if you are comfortable with your nutritionist ? Follow their advice.

I am the opposite of you (my hunger hormone never came back- I am a year and a half from surgery). I do the same thing with “I don’t want to gain weight back” so I monitor my weight by stepping on the scale once a week. I found that if I did it multiple times a week I would start to obsess so I only do it once a week.

calorie tracking is another good tool. My nutritionist is constantly on my back to track my calories (I am kind of terrible at it….. 😅 it’s okay when I have my set schedule during the school year but during summer my schedule is less defined and my meals end up sparse or nonexistent just because I’m not hungry)

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

1 hour ago, Orinskye said:

I peeked at your surgery date on your profile and it said you had your surgery in May of 2022.

Every plan is different and if you are comfortable with your nutritionist ? Follow their advice.

I am the opposite of you (my hunger hormone never came back- I am a year and a half from surgery). I do the same thing with “I don’t want to gain weight back” so I monitor my weight by stepping on the scale once a week. I found that if I did it multiple times a week I would start to obsess so I only do it once a week.

calorie tracking is another good tool. My nutritionist is constantly on my back to track my calories (I am kind of terrible at it….. 😅 it’s okay when I have my set schedule during the school year but during summer my schedule is less defined and my meals end up sparse or nonexistent just because I’m not hungry)

My nutritionist is kinda trash. But my surgeon and the nurse practitioner are fantastic, and they said not to count calories at all. Just watch the Protein, carbs, and fats. So that's what I do. I may need to try that fitness app. I just worry because I can look at what I'm eating, and how much, and I know I'm not getting enough in. But my mind just has such a hold on me right now that I literally can't force myself to eat more. Even when I know I need to. I'm hungry, I'm under what I should be eating, but it's like I won't allow it. I need to figure out how to break that. I wonder if I keep hitting stalls because I'm not eating enough......is that a thing??

[Orinskye 165]

5 minutes ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

My nutritionist is kinda trash. But my surgeon and the nurse practitioner are fantastic, and they said not to count calories at all. Just watch the Protein, carbs, and fats. So that's what I do. I may need to try that fitness app. I just worry because I can look at what I'm eating, and how much, and I know I'm not getting enough in. But my mind just has such a hold on me right now that I literally can't force myself to eat more. Even when I know I need to. I'm hungry, I'm under what I should be eating, but it's like I won't allow it. I need to figure out how to break that. I wonder if I keep hitting stalls because I'm not eating enough......is that a thing??

I stalled a lot, I would increase my intake and then I would start loosing again.

I seem to be kind of “odd” though. At a year and a half my hunger hasn’t come back, volume wise I am on the really low end as far as intake capability (this is the concern for my nutritionist… one scrambled egg white and one bite of a Turkey sausage patty and I am DONE) , and I still can’t tolerate certain foods. I’ve kinda wondered it the surgeon took out more stomach than he was supposed to 😅

(Foods I can’t tolerate: pork, bread, rice, and noodles. These foods all make me feel terrible) I also can’t tolerate anything fried or anything heavy in sugar (being honest these should be avoided anyways lol) . Most of that restricted food is carbs…. The pork is interesting though because pork loin is a lean meat, but it makes me super sick.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,637]

2 hours ago, Orinskye said:

I stalled a lot, I would increase my intake and then I would start loosing again.

I seem to be kind of “odd” though. At a year and a half my hunger hasn’t come back, volume wise I am on the really low end as far as intake capability (this is the concern for my nutritionist… one scrambled egg white and one bite of a Turkey sausage patty and I am DONE) , and I still can’t tolerate certain foods. I’ve kinda wondered it the surgeon took out more stomach than he was supposed to 😅

(Foods I can’t tolerate: pork, bread, rice, and noodles. These foods all make me feel terrible) I also can’t tolerate anything fried or anything heavy in sugar (being honest these should be avoided anyways lol) . Most of that restricted food is carbs…. The pork is interesting though because pork loin is a lean meat, but it makes me super sick.

I wonder if my surgeon left too much stomach in. I've never lost the hunger and I've always been able to comfortably eat more than I should be able to. And there's little to no restriction, no full feeling to speak of so I have to rely on myself to not eat too much or too often. Even though I'm always hungry and never full. So....me being me, I went to the extreme on it and don't eat enough. If I ate until I was full, or even very comfortable, I worry the amount I would be able to eat is more than I should and I would undo the progress I've made so far.