Letters you wish you could send.....

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Dear Fat girl in my head,

Please please go away. I do not need you anymore, that is not me! Do not tell me I am fat or that won't fit because it will. You took too much away from me before and now it is time to live my life without you. Find a new place to stay, you are no longer welcome in my world.

Love

The Skinny Bitch who is gonna kick your ass...

[heather113076 0]

Dear Mom,

I still blame you for the beatings me and Holly received at the hands of our stepfather. I mean it isnt like you didnt know it was going on, he was beating you too. When you and him would get into an argument and you would kick him out me and Holly would just dance around our room because we were so happy to be free of him. Then he would come back with his "I'm sorry. It won't happen again" crap and you would let him come back in. It wouldnt be long before he was back to his same old crap again. Then finally you divorced him. Our life was so hard-going thru winters with no heat except for little electric heaters. Having to go 3 or 4 days without electricity and we never had air conditioning in the summer. Then you started drinking worse. Everynight you were getting drunk. Now here it is 20 years since you divorced that evil man and you are still drinking-every night. You seem to have this mindset that since you are 52 your life is over. You could still have another 30 years or longer if you would just stop drinking! I dont know what to do to get you to see that you are killing yourself.

Love,

Your oldest daughter

[babygrl1234 6]

Dear Moron Idiot who was bowling next to us last night,

When I spend 10 minutes walking up and down the bowling alley looking for the perfect ball and finally find something usable don't think that it is okay for you to just use the ball I have picked. I honestly would not have minded, but when you took it from me as it came out of the ball return before I took my second shot I had a little bit of a problem with that. But instead of bitch slapping you or even saying anything rude, I just got up and found a new ball that was actually working a little bit better. It was, however, extremely unacceptable for you to start using that second ball an hour later, especially when you pulled that same shit of grabbing it from the ball return as I was waiting for it to take my second shot. You should have known by then that no matter what ball you used it was still going in the gutter. Honey, you really needed to be at the end of the alley where the bumpers were.

And no it was not cute when you boyfriend kept walking out in front of our lane after his shots. It was funny when I purposely ran into him when he did it for the 4th time though.

Oh and I felt bad for you when you almost tripped stepping up onto the lane the first time you were up. I take that all back.

Sincerely,

Annoyed girl bowling next to you last night

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Dear Moron Idiot who was bowling next to us last night,

When I spend 10 minutes walking up and down the bowling alley looking for the perfect ball and finally find something usable don't think that it is okay for you to just use the ball I have picked. I honestly would not have minded, but when you took it from me as it came out of the ball return before I took my second shot I had a little bit of a problem with that. But instead of bitch slapping you or even saying anything rude, I just got up and found a new ball that was actually working a little bit better. It was, however, extremely unacceptable for you to start using that second ball an hour later, especially when you pulled that same shit of grabbing it from the ball return as I was waiting for it to take my second shot. You should have known by then that no matter what ball you used it was still going in the gutter. Honey, you really needed to be at the end of the alley where the bumpers were.

And no it was not cute when you boyfriend kept walking out in front of our lane after his shots. It was funny when I purposely ran into him when he did it for the 4th time though.

Oh and I felt bad for you when you almost tripped stepping up onto the lane the first time you were up. I take that all back.

Sincerely,

Annoyed girl bowling next to you last night

I am so sorry! I didn't mean to take your ball!

....so sorry I just couldn't resist this one! Next time, bitch slap....

[transformer 1]

Dear LBT Psychotic Poster,

Please follow these directions to ensure the re-establishment of peace and harmony on LBT:

Open Microsoft Word. Type in your current screen name. Begin typing all of your ranting and raving thoughts that include lots of insane griping, name-calling, and inane conversation that has nothing to do with the thread you are currently viewing. Be sure to personally attack everyone you can think of in the text of your faux post.

Press the "Enter" key a couple of times. Type in another one of your multitude of screen names and proceed to "talk" to yourself electronically. Be sure to include as many derogatory comments as you can about everyone you dislike on LBT. Double check this faux post to make sure that you agreed heartily with yourself...I mean your on-line imaginary friend.

Remember--at no time should you post anything on LBT!

When you are done responding to LBT posts in your Word document for the day, log out of LBT. Close Word. When prompted, DO NOT save your document.

Go to bed, sleep it off, and repeat the same steps tomorrow.

Sincerely,

A Really, Truly, Totally Aggravated LBT Member

[georgia girl 35]

Dear LBT Psychotic Poster,

Please follow these directions to ensure the re-establishment of peace and harmony on LBT:

Open Microsoft Word. Type in your current screen name. Begin typing all of your ranting and raving thoughts that include lots of insane griping, name-calling, and inane conversation that has nothing to do with the thread you are currently viewing. Be sure to personally attack everyone you can think of in the text of your faux post.

Press the "Enter" key a couple of times. Type in another one of your multitude of screen names and proceed to "talk" to yourself electronically. Be sure to include as many derogatory comments as you can about everyone you dislike on LBT. Double check this faux post to make sure that you agreed heartily with yourself...I mean your on-line imaginary friend.

Remember--at no time should you post anything on LBT!

When you are done responding to LBT posts in your Word document for the day, log out of LBT. Close Word. When prompted, DO NOT save your document.

Go to bed, sleep it off, and repeat the same steps tomorrow.

Sincerely,

A Really, Truly, Totally Aggravated LBT Member

I second your letter. It's time for some peace around here.

[100lbsforsale 0]

Thanks! I appreciate the post. Unfortunately thats just one incident in a long line(10 yrs or so) of many. Kiss your family and appreciate them because I didn't fully appreciate my parents and all the love they gave us until they were gone. And yes, my kids had a decent Christmas without 'good ole grandpa.'

[babygrl1234 6]

Dear Boo Boo Kitty,

Don't make me kick yer ass =)

BG

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Dear Boo Boo Kitty,

Don't make me kick yer ass =)

BG

Dear BG,

I have bowling balls and I know how to use them...

Sorry I am obvisouly full of something today!

[babygrl1234 6]

Dear Kitty,

Is it poopoo that you are full of? Are you a poopoo kitty today =)

[gingerbug 3]

Dear ex stepdad

You are a sick fuck and you owe me a huge karmic debt for what you did to me. You are going to be reincarnated over and over again in your miserable life until you learn. I, on the other hand, get to move forward. I can look at myself in the mirror every morning. Can you?

[travelgirl 3]

To my stepmother,

Now that my dad is dead, I'm done with you. I'm done with your drunk, sorry ass. You made my life a living hell from the time you walked into my life, and destroyed the relationship I had with my dad. I was never able to get that back, no matter how hard I tried as an adult. You were always in the way. I felt like you were always competing with me for dad's attention. If I called to talk to dad, you always had to be on another extention listening in and interrupting whenever you could. You bitch.

I don't have anything of dad's and I'm sure you'll never give me anything of his, no matter how many times you tell me you will. I've resigned myself to that, and I'm fine with it, as long as you stay the hell out of my life. Don't call me, don't e-mail me, certainly don't expect a call or card for your birthday, and no, we won't be there for the holidays with you. You have your own family, move closer to them, and let them deal with your bullshit.

Most sincerely,

Your dead husband's daughter

[luluc 6]

To my Favorite Contractor, Plumber & Electrician..

PLEASE finish the rennovations to our house in '08!! You three are very nice men, however I'm getting tired of living in 500 sqft at a time with DH & 7 dogs, thankfully they have a lot of room to roam during the day. I know it will all look great, but I'm ready to have the "Money Pit" put back together. The holidays are over, please - please put my floors in / my bathrooms tiled / shutters installed / then paint...I'll let ya take a breather before we start the kitchen..,

Your Fav Client,