Thing I miss most

[Healthy4longerlife 14]

I have found I can drink right before I eat, even seconds before and I am fine, but after eating Protein or a meal I need to wait at least 30 minutes, otherwise I will feel pain when trying to wash down chicken or tuna or whatever. So for meals that I am eating Soup, I will just eat the soup first and then can have the protein.

My bigger issue is snacking on candy, junk. Cookies, Its a constant struggle for. I realize my brain and body are not on the same page. My body needs to eat slowly and doesn't care to eat out since I would end up overeating and being in pain. But my mind is still thinking of eating out 3 times a day and in 3 more times and midnight Snacks. I never cured my addiction, its tough, I find myself getting much quicker to anger at my wife or kids since i am having this internal struggle. I keep saying I need to see a good therapist or go to OA, get a sponsor and give it a good go. But i say I am too busy or its expensive. As is I am saving more than $1000 a month than before surgery. That is just for my restaurant bills , that I would go out and eat myself like lunch twice a day, like sushi with a friend and then Italian myself.... Its also tough since my energy levels are the same as before. I was always a high energy person. so i feel the same, except when exercising or walking I NOTICE A major difference. . I now weight 236 pounds( 107 kilo) and 6 months ago I was 366 ( 166 kilo) , like not out of breath, I started playing basketball twice a week and can play for 2 hours straight. But i lost that relationship that was my everything ( food) and I knew how addicted I was, I just didn't give a ****. It made me always soo happy. I did not get the bypass for looks or to feel good. I only got it so my wife is not widowed in 10-15 years, I am 35 and she is 31, and I owe it to her and my 4 kids to live another 40 years minimum. pre surgery my blood pressure was 175 /125, way to f**ing high!! Its just freaking hard as hell. Im venting since I need to right now. Im still the same funny as before, I know that and friends and family say it as well. But there is still a huge change. I am eating way to much junk but at the same time I dont even feel like I enjoy it close to as much as I use to, like only 20% as much ( If I could put a number) and that is because I cannot pound it. I used to love eating like 3 burgers in Buns in 2-3 minutes, thats the part that felt so amazing when my mouth was stuffed and my belly filled. I cannot look to other areas, I already had a life of drugs from 13-23 , went to rehabs and now clean for many years, although I picked up smoking weed again right after surgery to help cope with the loss of my comforter, my right hand man, my happy self, my food... but I only smoke on weekends 1-2 times, since that is when I am not working. So not heavy at all. Cigarettes I stopped 16 months ago. But have had like 4-5 of them in the last 2 months, but wont let myself start again, so no wiggle room. I guess I am saying I need support, any support will be welcome. Its just hard. that is all !

Edited June 15, 2022 by Healthy4longerlife

[Therese22 38]

25 minutes ago, Healthy4longerlife said:

I have found I can drink right before I eat, even seconds before and I am fine, but after eating Protein or a meal I need to wait at least 30 minutes, otherwise I will feel pain when trying to wash down chicken or tuna or whatever. So for meals that I am eating Soup, I will just eat the Soup first and then can have the Protein.

My bigger issue is snacking on candy, junk. Cookies, Its a constant struggle for. I realize my brain and body are not on the same page. My body needs to eat slowly and doesn't care to eat out since I would end up overeating and being in pain. But my mind is still thinking of eating out 3 times a day and in 3 more times and midnight Snacks. I never cured my addiction, its tough, I find myself getting much quicker to anger at my wife or kids since i am having this internal struggle. I keep saying I need to see a good therapist or go to OA, get a sponsor and give it a good go. But i say I am too busy or its expensive. As is I am saving more than $1000 a month than before surgery. That is just for my restaurant bills , that I would go out and eat myself like lunch twice a day, like sushi with a friend and then Italian myself.... Its also tough since my energy levels are the same as before. I was always a high energy person. so i feel the same, except when exercising or walking I NOTICE A major difference. . I now weight 236 pounds( 107 kilo) and 6 months ago I was 366 ( 166 kilo) , like not out of breath, I started playing basketball twice a week and can play for 2 hours straight. But i lost that relationship that was my everything ( food) and I knew how addicted I was, I just didn't give a ****. It made me always soo happy. I did not get the bypass for looks or to feel good. I only got it so my wife is not widowed in 10-15 years, I am 35 and she is 31, and I owe it to her and my 4 kids to live another 40 years minimum. pre surgery my blood pressure was 175 /125, way to f**ing high!! Its just freaking hard as hell. Im venting since I need to right now. Im still the same funny as before, I know that and friends and family say it as well. But there is still a huge change. I am eating way to much junk but at the same time I dont even feel like I enjoy it close to as much as I use to, like only 20% as much ( If I could put a number) and that is because I cannot pound it. I used to love eating like 3 burgers in Buns in 2-3 minutes, thats the part that felt so amazing when my mouth was stuffed and my belly filled. I cannot look to other areas, I already had a life of drugs from 13-23 , went to rehabs and now clean for many years, although I picked up smoking weed again right after surgery to help cope with the loss of my comforter, my right hand man, my happy self, my food... but I only smoke on weekends 1-2 times, since that is when I am not working. So not heavy at all. Cigarettes I stopped 16 months ago. But have had like 4-5 of them in the last 2 months, but wont let myself start again, so no wiggle room. I guess I am saying I need support, any support will be welcome. Its just hard. that is all !

Hey Health4longerlife,

First thank you for being so transparent about your current and prior struggles. I just had my RNY surgery about a week ago and have gotten so much from reading others posts. I applaud you for making this decision for bariatric surgery, no matter what your "why" is. I feel you have a clear idea of what is going on and what to do but now you just have to take that step. I would advise you to look into therapy. I agree that the cost can be high but the rewards will be immeasurable. I have used https://www.psychologytoday.com/us to find a therapist. They will list their pricing on there as well. Please consider this for yourself.

You have already come so far and I know there is so much living left for you to do for you and your loved ones.

We are here for you!

Therese

Edited June 15, 2022 by Therese22
grammar

[SleeverSk 635]

5 hours ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

THIS is what I was hoping to hear somewhere on here. I'm really struggling with not drinking while I eat. I have dry mouth because of meds I take, so I tend to drink a lot ALL this time. It's hard to eat without drinking anything at all, but I was told it's just something I'm going to have to learn to deal with it. At least I can look forward to maybe being able to drink, even a little, with my food further down the road.

It does depend on what I am eating and what I am going to drink ( I still love bubbles even if it's just soda Water ) but plain water and just a few sips is no drama at all. Just go slow you will work out what works for you. A Drink before eating is easier within the first 6 months, but just a small drink.

[SleeveToBypass2023 2,598]

5 minutes ago, SleeverSk said:

It does depend on what I am eating and what I am going to drink ( I still love bubbles even if it's just soda Water ) but plain Water and just a few sips is no drama at all. Just go slow you will work out what works for you. A Drink before eating is easier within the first 6 months, but just a small drink.

I don't even think about soda anymore, or anything with bubbles. But I do love sugar free juice, sugar free gatorade, etc...

[Arabesque 7,240]

You won’t have to wait to drink before & after meals for ever. I wait 5 or 10 minutes now & less if I just have a sip before & after so I can order a glass of wine before a meal & finish it after without much issue. I can even have a sip while eating if I pace my bites & sips. If I drink too much to close to a bite I feel full very quickly & sometimes a little uncomfortable.

Dint think there’s anything I really miss now. Sure, sometimes I see something & think that looks nice bet it’s delicious but I’m not really interested in wanting to actually eat it. Actually some high fat or high sugar foods or large portions turn my tummy. I feel repulsed by it. Maybe I’m strange, though.

[Healthy4longerlife 14]

18 hours ago, Therese22 said:

Hey Health4longerlife,

First thank you for being so transparent about your current and prior struggles. I just had my RNY surgery about a week ago and have gotten so much from reading others posts. I applaud you for making this decision for bariatric surgery, no matter what your "why" is. I feel you have a clear idea of what is going on and what to do but now you just have to take that step. I would advise you to look into therapy. I agree that the cost can be high but the rewards will be immeasurable. I have used https://www.psychologytoday.com/us to find a therapist. They will list their pricing on there as well. Please consider this for yourself.

You have already come so far and I know there is so much living left for you to do for you and your loved ones.

We are here for you!

Therese

Thank you for this!

[WillowAspen 0]

21 hours ago, Healthy4longerlife said:

I have found I can drink right before I eat, even seconds before and I am fine, but after eating Protein or a meal I need to wait at least 30 minutes, otherwise I will feel pain when trying to wash down chicken or tuna or whatever. So for meals that I am eating Soup, I will just eat the Soup first and then can have the Protein.

My bigger issue is snacking on candy, junk. Cookies, Its a constant struggle for. I realize my brain and body are not on the same page. My body needs to eat slowly and doesn't care to eat out since I would end up overeating and being in pain. But my mind is still thinking of eating out 3 times a day and in 3 more times and midnight Snacks. I never cured my addiction, its tough, I find myself getting much quicker to anger at my wife or kids since i am having this internal struggle. I keep saying I need to see a good therapist or go to OA, get a sponsor and give it a good go. But i say I am too busy or its expensive. As is I am saving more than $1000 a month than before surgery. That is just for my restaurant bills , that I would go out and eat myself like lunch twice a day, like sushi with a friend and then Italian myself.... Its also tough since my energy levels are the same as before. I was always a high energy person. so i feel the same, except when exercising or walking I NOTICE A major difference. . I now weight 236 pounds( 107 kilo) and 6 months ago I was 366 ( 166 kilo) , like not out of breath, I started playing basketball twice a week and can play for 2 hours straight. But i lost that relationship that was my everything ( food) and I knew how addicted I was, I just didn't give a ****. It made me always soo happy. I did not get the bypass for looks or to feel good. I only got it so my wife is not widowed in 10-15 years, I am 35 and she is 31, and I owe it to her and my 4 kids to live another 40 years minimum. pre surgery my blood pressure was 175 /125, way to f**ing high!! Its just freaking hard as hell. Im venting since I need to right now. Im still the same funny as before, I know that and friends and family say it as well. But there is still a huge change. I am eating way to much junk but at the same time I dont even feel like I enjoy it close to as much as I use to, like only 20% as much ( If I could put a number) and that is because I cannot pound it. I used to love eating like 3 burgers in Buns in 2-3 minutes, thats the part that felt so amazing when my mouth was stuffed and my belly filled. I cannot look to other areas, I already had a life of drugs from 13-23 , went to rehabs and now clean for many years, although I picked up smoking weed again right after surgery to help cope with the loss of my comforter, my right hand man, my happy self, my food... but I only smoke on weekends 1-2 times, since that is when I am not working. So not heavy at all. Cigarettes I stopped 16 months ago. But have had like 4-5 of them in the last 2 months, but wont let myself start again, so no wiggle room. I guess I am saying I need support, any support will be welcome. Its just hard. that is all !

Hi Healthy4longerlife: I'm only two weeks post-op but can really appreciate what you are saying about how challenging it is to manage the relationship with food. I was already in therapy prior to surgery (mostly for anxiety but then to help me wade through my feelings and emotions related to having the bypass surgery as well as my relationship with food). I highly recommend exploring therapy as an option. I have no regrets in working with a therapist. For me, my emotional eating is directly related to my anxiety, so having that avenue to work things out is really helpful and then I don't feel like my family has to bare the brunt of my emotional upheavals. I'm a better mom and wife for it. I did OA off and on for many years, and it can also be a helpful place to land - especially if it works well for you to have a group and/or sponsor to be accountable to on a daily/weekly or more basis. Both options require personal work and delving into what is "poking at you" when it comes to using food for more than just nourishing your body. I suspect I will continue to struggle with this aspect of my relationship with food. Self-awareness is key to working through it, and you seem to have that! I'm rooting for you to find the best option for you. The WLS is just a "tool" - we all still have to work on that "head hunger." Here's hoping that there are better ways to quiet that voice inside that says we must eat in order to feel.

[Sunshine Princess 203]

The only thing i miss is sparkling Water like the AHA! Flavors, San Pellegrino, La Croix etc.

And ice cold from the can coca-cola.

[Tami10 50]

Well it's good to know it may not have to be forever.

Sent from my SM-A716U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Arabesque 7,240]

8 hours ago, Sunshine Princess said:

The only thing i miss is sparkling Water like the AHA! Flavors, San Pellegrino, La Croix etc.

I drink San Pellegrino every day. I just let it go flattish (unscrew the lid a little to break the seal when I put it in the fridge) & sip it slowly over a few hours interspersing with plain Water. The mineral taste is a nice change from plain water. I think I started drinking it occasionally at 3 months & more regularly by about 6. But it will depend on if you can tolerate it.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 851]

I don’t drink a ton with meals but if I get thirsty I sometimes drink while eating. I’ll be two years out in November. I never drank soda so I can’t miss what I never had, but I do drink beer occasionally so I’m not completely abstaining from carbonation.

[Mia may 4]

I would say the thing that I miss the most is handfuls of popcorn. Strangely I don’t miss anything else right now.

[Sabi 7]

On 06/20/2022 at 16:22, Mia may said:

I would say the thing that I miss the most is handfuls of popcorn. Strangely I don’t miss anything else right now.

We can’t have popcorn? ? *gasp*

[Spinoza 1,376]

I'm 7 months out and I don't really *miss* anything. I have now tried most things in moderation and can tolerate them fine, including bread and Pasta and rice.

Even now there are days when I do not get enough fluids in though because I can't drink for a long time after eating. I can drink right beforehand though - I just get hungry and forget. And I have drunk sparkling Water and sodas (and wine) from about 6 weeks post op - I was never told to avoid those.

[doobie31 178]

On 6/15/2022 at 1:43 PM, Healthy4longerlife said:

I have found I can drink right before I eat, even seconds before and I am fine, but after eating Protein or a meal I need to wait at least 30 minutes, otherwise I will feel pain when trying to wash down chicken or tuna or whatever. So for meals that I am eating Soup, I will just eat the Soup first and then can have the Protein.

My bigger issue is snacking on candy, junk. Cookies, Its a constant struggle for. I realize my brain and body are not on the same page. My body needs to eat slowly and doesn't care to eat out since I would end up overeating and being in pain. But my mind is still thinking of eating out 3 times a day and in 3 more times and midnight Snacks. I never cured my addiction, its tough, I find myself getting much quicker to anger at my wife or kids since i am having this internal struggle. I keep saying I need to see a good therapist or go to OA, get a sponsor and give it a good go. But i say I am too busy or its expensive. As is I am saving more than $1000 a month than before surgery. That is just for my restaurant bills , that I would go out and eat myself like lunch twice a day, like sushi with a friend and then Italian myself.... Its also tough since my energy levels are the same as before. I was always a high energy person. so i feel the same, except when exercising or walking I NOTICE A major difference. . I now weight 236 pounds( 107 kilo) and 6 months ago I was 366 ( 166 kilo) , like not out of breath, I started playing basketball twice a week and can play for 2 hours straight. But i lost that relationship that was my everything ( food) and I knew how addicted I was, I just didn't give a ****. It made me always soo happy. I did not get the bypass for looks or to feel good. I only got it so my wife is not widowed in 10-15 years, I am 35 and she is 31, and I owe it to her and my 4 kids to live another 40 years minimum. pre surgery my blood pressure was 175 /125, way to f**ing high!! Its just freaking hard as hell. Im venting since I need to right now. Im still the same funny as before, I know that and friends and family say it as well. But there is still a huge change. I am eating way to much junk but at the same time I dont even feel like I enjoy it close to as much as I use to, like only 20% as much ( If I could put a number) and that is because I cannot pound it. I used to love eating like 3 burgers in Buns in 2-3 minutes, thats the part that felt so amazing when my mouth was stuffed and my belly filled. I cannot look to other areas, I already had a life of drugs from 13-23 , went to rehabs and now clean for many years, although I picked up smoking weed again right after surgery to help cope with the loss of my comforter, my right hand man, my happy self, my food... but I only smoke on weekends 1-2 times, since that is when I am not working. So not heavy at all. Cigarettes I stopped 16 months ago. But have had like 4-5 of them in the last 2 months, but wont let myself start again, so no wiggle room. I guess I am saying I need support, any support will be welcome. Its just hard. that is all !

Reading this is my greatest fear. I'm 51, healthy and happy, but tomorrow I'm having surgery mainly because the quality of my life is starting the deteriorate. And it didn't happen slowly, I went from hiking 3 miles without issue to struggling to walk a couple of blocks in a matter of weeks (due to back pain).

So while the weight didn't get in the way of your life now, maybe knowing it very well could at any time, maybe that'll help you feel a little less resentful towards things.

I've been seeing a therapist via BetterHelp.com since I started down the surgery path. I know I have a food addiction and I know how much I love just stuffing my face, and it has helped. It hasn't gone away, but it has definitely helped. It's all done remotely, so even time isn't an excuse. And they've been very helpful with lowering the cost for me just for the asking.

I hope you keep posting so I can follow your journey. I'm rooting hard for you (and for me!).